"Faith I love you Faith... I will fight as hard as I possibly can to stay
with you... as long as I have you I have strength to fight..."
His voice echoes in my head as my eyes snap open... looking around the room Bosco lays in front of me... heart monitor still beeping his heartbeat into the room... they took the breathing tube out yesterday so there was no tell tale "whoosh" that followed every other heartbeat.. I had become accustomed to the sound as I kept vigil by his side... I have not left him for a moment... I refused to... and yesterday... he woke up... only for a moment but I knew that he was going to stay with me...
The only thing that I can't explain was the feeling that I had just before he opened his eyes... I have never felt like that before... it was like all the pain that I had been feeling in the past week was suddenly gone.. I can't describe it... but I knew as soon as I heard those words echoing in my head that it was Bosco... it was his voice and when my arm moved to caress my cheek... I know I didn't voluntarily do that... but it was Bosco's touch... I knew that he was going to be allright... I knew that he was going to hold true to his words, that he was going to fight... and I would hold true to the promise that I made... that I wasn't going to leave him, Fred took everything that mattered to me... and then he told me that there was a "someone"... Well now I have a "someone" too... but I have had this someone for a long time, I just kept denying what I felt for him, shoving the feelings back into the closet of denial where they would remain... at least until yesterday when I heard his voice inside my head... and the feelings that I had hidden in the back of that closet just came running back out at me.
A small gasp catches my attention and I turn around to see who emitted it... I find myself looking at my daughter... Emily was standing at the door with one hand over her mouth and the other hand over her heart. I motion for her to come into the room, she is rooted to the spot at the door... unable to move... but then again I was in the same position when I first saw him myself... I somehow find my feet; I reach her and pull her into a hug... It feels so good to finally hug my own children... I had been so worried about them because I haven't had any messages from Fred since he told me about his "someone" and I hadn't heard from the kids either so I was worried as hell about them...
"Mom..."
I stoke her hair and try and soothe her by telling her that he is going to be fine, as she cries into my shoulder... I don't blame her... I was in the same predicament last week... only I didn't have anyone to comfort me aside from Davis and Sully... She pulls her head away from my shoulder and shakily holds my hand as she walks into the room to sit in the chair beside mine...
"I went to the house to see you... Ty told me what happened to you and then what happened to Bosco... and he gave me a ride here... Mom he told me that Bosco saved your life..."
I nod my head as I let my gaze drift back to the bed...
"I've been so worried about you two... where does he have you living right now? Does your father know where you are right now?"
She looks at me and I see the tear roll down her cheek and immediately I feel a surge of anger run though my veins directed at Fred for making her feel so torn...
"We're living with her... she has a house over in the Bronx... I don't like it... it isn't my neighborhood... but Charlie and I have our own rooms... and there are two bathrooms... but I hate living with her... Dad wouldn't let us call you... I tried a couple of times but he confiscated my cell after the first time... Mom I miss you... I don't like what he did to us... we didn't even have a chance to object... he just gave us a couple of boxes and told us to pack because we were leaving... I packed as slow as I could... made it difficult for him... but then he came and told me that whatever I didn't pack would be left behind..."
She looks at Bosco and then looks back at me... I can tell that she is going to want to know what the hell happened... so I take a deep breath and re-account the events of the past week, my voice catching a few times... I told her about the feeling I had before he woke up... As soon as I finished my story I watched as her eyes widened up and she looked at me in shock...
"Wow... Mom... no wonder you look like you have been though hell... you actually heard his voice?"
I nod my head and she hugs me as tears threaten to spill over my eyes as Bosco's words echo in my head...
"Mom you know what this means right? They say when you hear someone talking to you like that... that they are your soulmate... you two are bound together by something more than friendship... he is as much a part of you as you are a part of him.."
My thoughts are interrupted by a soft groan from the bed... I practically leap out of my chair and I am by Bosco's side in an instant... I feel his hand brush my palm as I lace my fingers with his... I feel Em looking over my shoulder as he opens his eyes for the first time since yesterday... I look him and I send all my love and strength along the gaze that we shared... I don't think that I could ever get tired of looking into his beautiful eyes... He breaks my gaze and looks around the room at the monitors and then at Em... his eyes grow wide in surprise as he tightens his grip on my hand... like he is truly happy to see her here because that way he knows that I am happy...
"Faith..." He croaks out, barely able to talk... I pick up the cup of ice chunks I had been munching on and run one over his dry, cracked lips, watching as he sucked the melting water into his mouth... a small smile plays on his face as the last of the chunk dissolves on his mouth.
"I'm here Bosco... and so is Em... she just came to see how you were doing..."
"I know Faith.... I know everything... I saw everything.. Mikey... he showed it all to me..."
I look at Em and she just shrugs her shoulders.. I make a mental note to myself to tell the doctors to change his pain medication because clearly he is hallucinating.. but part of my gut tells me that he does know everything... He looks up at me and squeezes my hand and I know that he is telling me the truth.. whatever happened to him in that week that he was fighting for his life.. it made him see how much I needed him. Emily's voice brings my thoughts back to the present.
"Mom, I have to split.. Dad doesn't know where I am and he'll be having a kitten by now, but then again if he wanted to know where I was he shouldn't have confiscated my cell." She squeezes Bosco's leg under the blanket "See ya Bosco, I'll be coming back to check on you if I can."
I pull her into my embrace, I don't know who was hugging who harder but I didn't want to let her go.. after almost 2 weeks of not seeing her I was in withdrawal... I am gonna find Fred as soon as I get out of here and if he doesn't let me see my kids then I'll charge him with child abduction... I threw his sorry ass in jail once I'll do it again!
We said our goodbyes and I felt a tear stream down my cheek as I watched my daughter leave the room. I turn my attention back to Bosco, as a source of some kind of solitude, at least I still have him here with me..
"What happened to me Faith?" He croaked out from the bed "I know I was shot.. I remember hearing them and I remember you screamin my name before I passed out..."
Bosco goes on to tell me everything that he remembers after that.. my eyes widen in shock as he describes everything to me.. he is tellin me that he had some out of body experience while the doctors were trying to save him. I defiantly gotta tell the doctors to change his medication... until something he said caught my attention, my full attention..
"Faith I saw you that night... you know the night you were shot... Noble was gonna kill you, I saw it all happening again., the gun that he pulled when is shot him was aimed at your head.. I wanted to stop Cruz from shooting you but I hit Noble instead... Faith please forgive me... I wanted to protect you so bad but I couldn't."
A tear slips from his eye and rolls down into the pillow as I reach for some more ice chunks, he sighs as the ice melts over his lips and allows the water to soothe his parched throat. He still felt guilty about what happened that night... he still doesn't understand that I wanted to be there for him... after he told me about the punk that he was framing for murder.. no wait that the Bitch was framing for murder I couldn't say no to him.. the last words he said to me in that conversation made everything disappear.. the fact that he still needed me because I was the only one that he could turn to.. he loved me then and I just didn't see it.. I was too blind to see it.
"Bosco, it was that bitch sergeant who shot me.. not you.. I wanted to be there for you because like you said I am the only one.. I'm your partner Bosco... I was there for you, I'll always be there for you..."
My mind is suddenly gripped by that night we spent in the RMP, waiting for relief while we were watching over that van of stolen grave memorials.. it was just after I had left Caesar out in 26 turf... Bosco had said those exact words to me... and I knew that he meant them.. as I mean them now...I watched as a smile spread across his face and he knew that I forgave him for everything.. he knew that a long time ago but he just needed to hear me say it to him.
"Bosco... I thought I lost you.. the Doctors said that you died a couple of times when they were operating.. Bosco you can't leave me now.. I need you here with me... they told me that the bullet punctured your lung and pierced your heart...and that you are lucky to be here.."
"I know... I saw the angel of death..."
I sit by his side and listen to how he watched the doctors working on his body in the ER and how Mikey came to guide him though what he referred to being in a place called limbo... that as long as his body still lived he would still be stuck in this realm.. he told me he saw my apartment and that Mikey told him that Fred had left me.. and then he told me about the other places that he had been.. I am finding it hard to believe all of this.. how the hell could he have known that Fred left me... did he know that he had cheated on me too? I was seriously doubting his tale when he told me that he had been trying to talk to me.. that he had never left my side while I was here keeping a watchful vigil over his broken body..
"Faith I kept talking to you.. telling you that I would hold on just to be with you... but I couldn't touch you.. everything that I touched I passed right though it.. but every chance I got I was telling you that I wasn't going to leave you... that I was gonna fight to stay with you.. I had to Faith.... I had to stay for you... there is so much I want to say to you..."
His voice trailed off as his throat became dry... exhausted from telling me everything I shushed him softly and fed him some more ice to soothe his dry throat.. His words echoing in my mind drive away all doubt of him telling me something that he thinks might have happened.. I know it did because when I was in my deepest moments of despair I heard him talking to me.. I know it was him because even in a dark and crowded room I could never mistake his voice.
"Bosco... I am going to ask you something and I just want you to nod your head yes or no if this is what happened.. I just need to know because after what you just told me, I am thinking that this really happened."
I go on and describe the feeling that I had just before he woke up for the first time since the shooting.. the warmth of his embrace and the words that echoed though my mind, I had to know if it was him and not just my imagination. I finish my recollection of what happened to me and I find that I am holding my breath for his reply, Slowly he nods his head, confirming what I just said... so it was him... it was his voice that I head in my head, telling me he loved me...
"Bosco how..."
"I stepped inside your body Faith.. I put my arms around you and stepped into your body, I felt the pain, I felt the despair, I felt everything that you felt at that moment.. I also heard your prayers.. and that is when I defiantly knew that Fred had left you.. Faith it isn't fair to you..."
His voice trailed off again and I saw the tear escape his eyes.. and then I realized there were two tears that splashed on to the bed linens.. reaching up to my face I realized that they were mine.. I didn't even realize that I had been crying.. even when Bosco lay in front of me.. his body broken and recovering , after staring death in the face and coming back here to tell me about it.. he was still concerned for my wellbeing... I never felt more touched.
"Faith.. did you mean what you said to me yesterday... that you loved me?"
His question caught me off guard as I wiped my eyes and took his hand, with my other free hand I caressed his face softly, he closed his eyes at my touch relishing in my soft caress.
"Bosco you know that.."
I didn't even get to finish that thought when the Doctor came into the room interrupting my confession. I seriously have to remind myself that this was the Doctor that had saved his life.. or I would have shot him for coming in at this time.. he looked Bosco over from head to toe, inspecting his wounds, making sure that they were healing properly and then asking him a bunch of questions about how he was feeling today, if he had any pain anywhere that the medication wasn't helping... Doctor stuff... I sat quietly in the chair beside the bed when he noticed that I was there..
"You are one lucky individual Officer Boscorelli.. to have a woman like this.. she wouldn't leave your side for a moment.. we had to drag her out kicking and screaming sometimes just so she could take care of herself. She is one special lady."
Bosco enthusiastically nods his head in agreement and I felt his hand searching for mine.. I laced my fingers with his and smiled, the Doctor made some notes on his chart and left the room, leaving a silence between us...
"Bosco I meant every word I said in the past week.. I can't live without you, I cried myself to sleep every night this week at the thought of living life without you... you were right the kids and Fred are gone.. and there is something else that you don't know... last week before your brother's wake I went to a diner to meet with Fred...I wanted him to come home with the kids.. I tried to tell him that I would work out whatever was wrong with our relationship.."
My voice caught in my throat as the image of my soon to be ex-husband came into my mind as we sat in the diner and I poured my heart out to him.. telling him that we were a team and that we had been together forever and that I loved being who I was and I loved it more when I was with him and the kids.. that I would spend more time with him.. giving him everything that he wanted to hear.. and then he told me about that "someone" the pain that I felt at that instant was almost as bad as the pain I had felt when Bosco had crossed over with that Bitch sergeant...
"Faith go on..."
Bosco's voice reminds me of why I need to tell someone this.. I had been betrayed by the man that I had sworn to love honor and cherish for my whole life.. the man that I chose to have kids with..
"Fred said that he wasn't comin home... Bosco he told me that he met someone else.. that he was having an affair.. and then he got up and walked out of the diner and out of my life.. he wont let the kids come and see me.. Em had to sneak out to see me today... he wont let me talk to them... Oh Bosco!"
My voice cracks and my head falls down to the bed where I break out into a new fit of sobs.. not for Bosco but for the family that I lost... the husband that betrayed me and the feeling of helplessness that I was feeling at that exact moment... I felt Bosco's hands gently run though my hair as he tries to comfort me....
"Faith remember why you became a cop...you wanted to leave Fred in the first place.. his drunk ways.. the way that he abused what you had given him.. Faith I wish I had found you first.. I would have given you what you deserve.. a happy relationship... Faith I love you..."
My shoulders slowly stop shaking as I reach for his hand and grasp it tight as I lift my head from the pillow... this man never ceases to amaze me... I shift myself from the chair to the side of the bed and placing one hand on the one side of Bosco, being careful to avoid the bandages and wires I place my other hand on the side of his face. I watch as he closes his eyes and I feel his cheek nuzzle into my palm, leaning into his face I brush my lips softly over his and I felt his breath catch and in the distance I heard the heart monitor speed up its beeping slightly as his heart reacted to the brush of my lips over his, his eyes snap open to look into mine and then they close as he moans softly... a weak hand reaches up from the bed and runs though my hair as he pulls my head down for another kiss, which I willingly give him, allowing myself to fall deeper into a state of temporal bliss.. Pulling back from his lips I felt the breath that we had both held slowly exhale as I rest my forehead against his..
"Bosco I meant everything I said....especially the part where I said that I loved you... you are my partner and I couldn't live without you.. so you gotta get better if not for yourself then for me..."
I kissed him again and pulled away just as Mary came into the room to check on Bosco.. she had been coming up to see how he was doing now and again when she had time on her break.. He had us all worried about him... the best news that she had was when I ran downstairs yesterday to tell her that he woke up... even if it was only for a brief moment.. I got up off the bed and squeezed Bosco's hand as I talked to Mary.. and then I excused myself from the room.. I had a payphone to find and some calls to make.. I had to find out where my husband and my kids were.. and then I had to get them back... Bosco's kiss gave me the strength to make the calls.. even though he is still in bed, recovering, mending his broken body I know that he is right beside me...
I finally find a payphone at the end of the ward and with a steady hand I pick up the receiver and drop in the quarter to make the first of my calls... the calls that will bring my kids home to me.
His voice echoes in my head as my eyes snap open... looking around the room Bosco lays in front of me... heart monitor still beeping his heartbeat into the room... they took the breathing tube out yesterday so there was no tell tale "whoosh" that followed every other heartbeat.. I had become accustomed to the sound as I kept vigil by his side... I have not left him for a moment... I refused to... and yesterday... he woke up... only for a moment but I knew that he was going to stay with me...
The only thing that I can't explain was the feeling that I had just before he opened his eyes... I have never felt like that before... it was like all the pain that I had been feeling in the past week was suddenly gone.. I can't describe it... but I knew as soon as I heard those words echoing in my head that it was Bosco... it was his voice and when my arm moved to caress my cheek... I know I didn't voluntarily do that... but it was Bosco's touch... I knew that he was going to be allright... I knew that he was going to hold true to his words, that he was going to fight... and I would hold true to the promise that I made... that I wasn't going to leave him, Fred took everything that mattered to me... and then he told me that there was a "someone"... Well now I have a "someone" too... but I have had this someone for a long time, I just kept denying what I felt for him, shoving the feelings back into the closet of denial where they would remain... at least until yesterday when I heard his voice inside my head... and the feelings that I had hidden in the back of that closet just came running back out at me.
A small gasp catches my attention and I turn around to see who emitted it... I find myself looking at my daughter... Emily was standing at the door with one hand over her mouth and the other hand over her heart. I motion for her to come into the room, she is rooted to the spot at the door... unable to move... but then again I was in the same position when I first saw him myself... I somehow find my feet; I reach her and pull her into a hug... It feels so good to finally hug my own children... I had been so worried about them because I haven't had any messages from Fred since he told me about his "someone" and I hadn't heard from the kids either so I was worried as hell about them...
"Mom..."
I stoke her hair and try and soothe her by telling her that he is going to be fine, as she cries into my shoulder... I don't blame her... I was in the same predicament last week... only I didn't have anyone to comfort me aside from Davis and Sully... She pulls her head away from my shoulder and shakily holds my hand as she walks into the room to sit in the chair beside mine...
"I went to the house to see you... Ty told me what happened to you and then what happened to Bosco... and he gave me a ride here... Mom he told me that Bosco saved your life..."
I nod my head as I let my gaze drift back to the bed...
"I've been so worried about you two... where does he have you living right now? Does your father know where you are right now?"
She looks at me and I see the tear roll down her cheek and immediately I feel a surge of anger run though my veins directed at Fred for making her feel so torn...
"We're living with her... she has a house over in the Bronx... I don't like it... it isn't my neighborhood... but Charlie and I have our own rooms... and there are two bathrooms... but I hate living with her... Dad wouldn't let us call you... I tried a couple of times but he confiscated my cell after the first time... Mom I miss you... I don't like what he did to us... we didn't even have a chance to object... he just gave us a couple of boxes and told us to pack because we were leaving... I packed as slow as I could... made it difficult for him... but then he came and told me that whatever I didn't pack would be left behind..."
She looks at Bosco and then looks back at me... I can tell that she is going to want to know what the hell happened... so I take a deep breath and re-account the events of the past week, my voice catching a few times... I told her about the feeling I had before he woke up... As soon as I finished my story I watched as her eyes widened up and she looked at me in shock...
"Wow... Mom... no wonder you look like you have been though hell... you actually heard his voice?"
I nod my head and she hugs me as tears threaten to spill over my eyes as Bosco's words echo in my head...
"Mom you know what this means right? They say when you hear someone talking to you like that... that they are your soulmate... you two are bound together by something more than friendship... he is as much a part of you as you are a part of him.."
My thoughts are interrupted by a soft groan from the bed... I practically leap out of my chair and I am by Bosco's side in an instant... I feel his hand brush my palm as I lace my fingers with his... I feel Em looking over my shoulder as he opens his eyes for the first time since yesterday... I look him and I send all my love and strength along the gaze that we shared... I don't think that I could ever get tired of looking into his beautiful eyes... He breaks my gaze and looks around the room at the monitors and then at Em... his eyes grow wide in surprise as he tightens his grip on my hand... like he is truly happy to see her here because that way he knows that I am happy...
"Faith..." He croaks out, barely able to talk... I pick up the cup of ice chunks I had been munching on and run one over his dry, cracked lips, watching as he sucked the melting water into his mouth... a small smile plays on his face as the last of the chunk dissolves on his mouth.
"I'm here Bosco... and so is Em... she just came to see how you were doing..."
"I know Faith.... I know everything... I saw everything.. Mikey... he showed it all to me..."
I look at Em and she just shrugs her shoulders.. I make a mental note to myself to tell the doctors to change his pain medication because clearly he is hallucinating.. but part of my gut tells me that he does know everything... He looks up at me and squeezes my hand and I know that he is telling me the truth.. whatever happened to him in that week that he was fighting for his life.. it made him see how much I needed him. Emily's voice brings my thoughts back to the present.
"Mom, I have to split.. Dad doesn't know where I am and he'll be having a kitten by now, but then again if he wanted to know where I was he shouldn't have confiscated my cell." She squeezes Bosco's leg under the blanket "See ya Bosco, I'll be coming back to check on you if I can."
I pull her into my embrace, I don't know who was hugging who harder but I didn't want to let her go.. after almost 2 weeks of not seeing her I was in withdrawal... I am gonna find Fred as soon as I get out of here and if he doesn't let me see my kids then I'll charge him with child abduction... I threw his sorry ass in jail once I'll do it again!
We said our goodbyes and I felt a tear stream down my cheek as I watched my daughter leave the room. I turn my attention back to Bosco, as a source of some kind of solitude, at least I still have him here with me..
"What happened to me Faith?" He croaked out from the bed "I know I was shot.. I remember hearing them and I remember you screamin my name before I passed out..."
Bosco goes on to tell me everything that he remembers after that.. my eyes widen in shock as he describes everything to me.. he is tellin me that he had some out of body experience while the doctors were trying to save him. I defiantly gotta tell the doctors to change his medication... until something he said caught my attention, my full attention..
"Faith I saw you that night... you know the night you were shot... Noble was gonna kill you, I saw it all happening again., the gun that he pulled when is shot him was aimed at your head.. I wanted to stop Cruz from shooting you but I hit Noble instead... Faith please forgive me... I wanted to protect you so bad but I couldn't."
A tear slips from his eye and rolls down into the pillow as I reach for some more ice chunks, he sighs as the ice melts over his lips and allows the water to soothe his parched throat. He still felt guilty about what happened that night... he still doesn't understand that I wanted to be there for him... after he told me about the punk that he was framing for murder.. no wait that the Bitch was framing for murder I couldn't say no to him.. the last words he said to me in that conversation made everything disappear.. the fact that he still needed me because I was the only one that he could turn to.. he loved me then and I just didn't see it.. I was too blind to see it.
"Bosco, it was that bitch sergeant who shot me.. not you.. I wanted to be there for you because like you said I am the only one.. I'm your partner Bosco... I was there for you, I'll always be there for you..."
My mind is suddenly gripped by that night we spent in the RMP, waiting for relief while we were watching over that van of stolen grave memorials.. it was just after I had left Caesar out in 26 turf... Bosco had said those exact words to me... and I knew that he meant them.. as I mean them now...I watched as a smile spread across his face and he knew that I forgave him for everything.. he knew that a long time ago but he just needed to hear me say it to him.
"Bosco... I thought I lost you.. the Doctors said that you died a couple of times when they were operating.. Bosco you can't leave me now.. I need you here with me... they told me that the bullet punctured your lung and pierced your heart...and that you are lucky to be here.."
"I know... I saw the angel of death..."
I sit by his side and listen to how he watched the doctors working on his body in the ER and how Mikey came to guide him though what he referred to being in a place called limbo... that as long as his body still lived he would still be stuck in this realm.. he told me he saw my apartment and that Mikey told him that Fred had left me.. and then he told me about the other places that he had been.. I am finding it hard to believe all of this.. how the hell could he have known that Fred left me... did he know that he had cheated on me too? I was seriously doubting his tale when he told me that he had been trying to talk to me.. that he had never left my side while I was here keeping a watchful vigil over his broken body..
"Faith I kept talking to you.. telling you that I would hold on just to be with you... but I couldn't touch you.. everything that I touched I passed right though it.. but every chance I got I was telling you that I wasn't going to leave you... that I was gonna fight to stay with you.. I had to Faith.... I had to stay for you... there is so much I want to say to you..."
His voice trailed off as his throat became dry... exhausted from telling me everything I shushed him softly and fed him some more ice to soothe his dry throat.. His words echoing in my mind drive away all doubt of him telling me something that he thinks might have happened.. I know it did because when I was in my deepest moments of despair I heard him talking to me.. I know it was him because even in a dark and crowded room I could never mistake his voice.
"Bosco... I am going to ask you something and I just want you to nod your head yes or no if this is what happened.. I just need to know because after what you just told me, I am thinking that this really happened."
I go on and describe the feeling that I had just before he woke up for the first time since the shooting.. the warmth of his embrace and the words that echoed though my mind, I had to know if it was him and not just my imagination. I finish my recollection of what happened to me and I find that I am holding my breath for his reply, Slowly he nods his head, confirming what I just said... so it was him... it was his voice that I head in my head, telling me he loved me...
"Bosco how..."
"I stepped inside your body Faith.. I put my arms around you and stepped into your body, I felt the pain, I felt the despair, I felt everything that you felt at that moment.. I also heard your prayers.. and that is when I defiantly knew that Fred had left you.. Faith it isn't fair to you..."
His voice trailed off again and I saw the tear escape his eyes.. and then I realized there were two tears that splashed on to the bed linens.. reaching up to my face I realized that they were mine.. I didn't even realize that I had been crying.. even when Bosco lay in front of me.. his body broken and recovering , after staring death in the face and coming back here to tell me about it.. he was still concerned for my wellbeing... I never felt more touched.
"Faith.. did you mean what you said to me yesterday... that you loved me?"
His question caught me off guard as I wiped my eyes and took his hand, with my other free hand I caressed his face softly, he closed his eyes at my touch relishing in my soft caress.
"Bosco you know that.."
I didn't even get to finish that thought when the Doctor came into the room interrupting my confession. I seriously have to remind myself that this was the Doctor that had saved his life.. or I would have shot him for coming in at this time.. he looked Bosco over from head to toe, inspecting his wounds, making sure that they were healing properly and then asking him a bunch of questions about how he was feeling today, if he had any pain anywhere that the medication wasn't helping... Doctor stuff... I sat quietly in the chair beside the bed when he noticed that I was there..
"You are one lucky individual Officer Boscorelli.. to have a woman like this.. she wouldn't leave your side for a moment.. we had to drag her out kicking and screaming sometimes just so she could take care of herself. She is one special lady."
Bosco enthusiastically nods his head in agreement and I felt his hand searching for mine.. I laced my fingers with his and smiled, the Doctor made some notes on his chart and left the room, leaving a silence between us...
"Bosco I meant every word I said in the past week.. I can't live without you, I cried myself to sleep every night this week at the thought of living life without you... you were right the kids and Fred are gone.. and there is something else that you don't know... last week before your brother's wake I went to a diner to meet with Fred...I wanted him to come home with the kids.. I tried to tell him that I would work out whatever was wrong with our relationship.."
My voice caught in my throat as the image of my soon to be ex-husband came into my mind as we sat in the diner and I poured my heart out to him.. telling him that we were a team and that we had been together forever and that I loved being who I was and I loved it more when I was with him and the kids.. that I would spend more time with him.. giving him everything that he wanted to hear.. and then he told me about that "someone" the pain that I felt at that instant was almost as bad as the pain I had felt when Bosco had crossed over with that Bitch sergeant...
"Faith go on..."
Bosco's voice reminds me of why I need to tell someone this.. I had been betrayed by the man that I had sworn to love honor and cherish for my whole life.. the man that I chose to have kids with..
"Fred said that he wasn't comin home... Bosco he told me that he met someone else.. that he was having an affair.. and then he got up and walked out of the diner and out of my life.. he wont let the kids come and see me.. Em had to sneak out to see me today... he wont let me talk to them... Oh Bosco!"
My voice cracks and my head falls down to the bed where I break out into a new fit of sobs.. not for Bosco but for the family that I lost... the husband that betrayed me and the feeling of helplessness that I was feeling at that exact moment... I felt Bosco's hands gently run though my hair as he tries to comfort me....
"Faith remember why you became a cop...you wanted to leave Fred in the first place.. his drunk ways.. the way that he abused what you had given him.. Faith I wish I had found you first.. I would have given you what you deserve.. a happy relationship... Faith I love you..."
My shoulders slowly stop shaking as I reach for his hand and grasp it tight as I lift my head from the pillow... this man never ceases to amaze me... I shift myself from the chair to the side of the bed and placing one hand on the one side of Bosco, being careful to avoid the bandages and wires I place my other hand on the side of his face. I watch as he closes his eyes and I feel his cheek nuzzle into my palm, leaning into his face I brush my lips softly over his and I felt his breath catch and in the distance I heard the heart monitor speed up its beeping slightly as his heart reacted to the brush of my lips over his, his eyes snap open to look into mine and then they close as he moans softly... a weak hand reaches up from the bed and runs though my hair as he pulls my head down for another kiss, which I willingly give him, allowing myself to fall deeper into a state of temporal bliss.. Pulling back from his lips I felt the breath that we had both held slowly exhale as I rest my forehead against his..
"Bosco I meant everything I said....especially the part where I said that I loved you... you are my partner and I couldn't live without you.. so you gotta get better if not for yourself then for me..."
I kissed him again and pulled away just as Mary came into the room to check on Bosco.. she had been coming up to see how he was doing now and again when she had time on her break.. He had us all worried about him... the best news that she had was when I ran downstairs yesterday to tell her that he woke up... even if it was only for a brief moment.. I got up off the bed and squeezed Bosco's hand as I talked to Mary.. and then I excused myself from the room.. I had a payphone to find and some calls to make.. I had to find out where my husband and my kids were.. and then I had to get them back... Bosco's kiss gave me the strength to make the calls.. even though he is still in bed, recovering, mending his broken body I know that he is right beside me...
I finally find a payphone at the end of the ward and with a steady hand I pick up the receiver and drop in the quarter to make the first of my calls... the calls that will bring my kids home to me.