I feel the breath leave my body in a weary sigh as I replace the receiver
of the phone back to its cradle... I just got off the phone with one of the
detectives in our precinct.. a couple of them owe me a favor for helping
them out with solving the Rebecca case... I smile to myself as I still see
the face of that poor woman when we told her that her daughter was alive
and well.. and then the sob of relief and happiness that she cried on my
shoulder when she saw her for the first time since she was stolen from her...
Thinking of Rebecca only made my longing for my children worse and re- kindled the fire that made me drop another quarter into the phone and dial Em's cell number.. she said that Fred had taken it away from her when she had tried to call me.. there was still a good chance that he had it and because I was calling from a payphone the number wouldn't appear on the call display.. I felt the fire running though my veins as I heard the phone ring once... and then again.., on the third ring I heard his voice on the other end..
"Hello?"
I take a deep breath trying to control the feeling of fury at my soon to be ex-husband for trying to take my kids away from me.. he knows better than anyone that I would die for them.. there are only three people that I would die for.. Emily and Charlie and of course Bosco...
"Fred... don't you even think of ending this call before you hear what I have to say.. I know everything Fred including where you are living right now.. and I am going to give you one chance to save yourself a lot of grief..."
"Faith don't you tell me what I can and cannot do.. you were the one who turned her back on us... that is why I left you"
I felt the heat grow stronger as I fought to control my voice level.. the last thing I wanted to be doing was be screaming into a payphone in the middle of Mercy..
"Fred you know that I never turned my back on you.. you are just using that as an excuse to go to that slut that you are living with now and you know it.. now listen because I am going to only say this once.. and if you even dare to hang up on me before I am done.. you are calling down a thunder that you don't want to deal with Fred believe me.. I will not hesitate to bring everything that I have behind me into this... if I do that then it is going to get ugly"
I hear his voice raise on the other end at my words and I know that I have his attention now.. he knows better than to cross me especially when he's hurt me so deeply..
"She is not a slut.. she is trying to be a mother to the children that YOU abandoned.. trying to piece together a family that YOU turned your back on... oh by the way Faith how's your precious partner Bosco? Is he dead yet?"
He spat his name in to the phone and I heard the jealousy dripping from his voice... I felt a sense of vindication when I heard that from my supposedly loving husband... I knew that I had turned the dagger in him too and I smiled at the pain in his voice..
"Now are you going to listen to what I have to say or are you going to call down the thunder Fred? Think carefully on this because you know better than to do what you are doing right now."
"Fine, Talk but make it fast Colleen is making dinner"
So that's her name.. that should make it a little easier to find Fred... I had given the detectives Em's cell phone number and they said that they would put a trace on it.. if I kept him talking long enough they might be able to get a general location on where he might be with my kids.. I already told them that they were somewhere in the Bronx I just didn't know where.. this conversation might be the only way of locating my kids and bringing them home with me..
"Fred you know that what you did is wrong.. taking the kids like that in the middle of my shift... without a word on where you were going and how I can get to see them.. and then on top of things forbidding them to call me or get in touch with me.. I wouldn't even have known that you had taken Em's cell phone if she hadn't told me herself.. Oh yes Fred she came to see me because she doesn't like what you have done and she misses me.. and if you do anything to punish her for coming to see me I swear to your old friend Jesus that I will get you for anything that you do to her... for trying to see her Mother.. now here is what is going to happen.. you are going to tell me where you are and you are also going to let me see my kids.. and then you are going to get a good lawyer because I am going to take you right to court for full custody of Emily and Charlie... now if you do not let me see my kids then I will hunt you down like the slime dog you are and arrest you for kidnapping my kids and I will personally shut the door with a smile on my face.... Now I am going to give you one hour Fred... one hour to let you think it over.. and that is only because I am in a good mood.. if I do not hear from you within an hour you had better be prepared to face the music... and I mean it Fred.. nobody takes my kids away from me without facing the consequences.. you got that Fred NOBODY!! You have one hour!"
I replace the receiver and I sink into the chair beside me.. I did it.. I threatened my husband.. I never thought that I would hear myself do that.. but then again desperate times called for desperate measures so he really brought it on himself, he should have known the consequences of messing with me when it came to my children.. I think that I might have been able to get over the fact that he cheated on me.. but because he took my kids too that was the call to war.. and now that Bosco was awake and I had started sorting out my feelings for him I turned my attention to getting my kids back. Taking a deep breath I try and find the strength to make my legs work.
I open my eyes in time to see Faith walk back into the room, I can tell that she is flustered about something I don't know what it is but I have a feeling that it has something to do with Emily being here earlier.. she had told me about Fred leaving her, well I already knew that from seeing the apartment but I didn't know that he had cheated on her, and I think that is the driving force that I have to get better now.. I have to be there for her not only for support but also to give Fred what for if he ever comes near her again, I'll kill him if he ever comes near her again, I smile to myself as I make a promise to kick his sorry ass the next time I see him.. well the next time I see him and I can get out of this bed.
"Faith what's wrong? Where were you?"
"Fighting to get my kids back.. I threatened him Bosco.. I called him up and threatened to track him down and arrest him for kidnapping if he didn't return my kids to me within an hour... well at least let me see them.. I cant handle Emily sneaking around so she can see her Mother.. she told me that Charlie would have come with her but he is too scared to risk his fathers anger for sneaking around...if he touches one hair on their heads I swear I'm gonna..."
Her voice trails off and I see that angry look that I have seen so many times before.. it's the "mess with me and die" look and I know that she means it.. and even though I still cant move from this bed I would stand by her as best I could until I can kick his sorry ass for doing it to her..
"I told him that he had an hour to get back to me.. he knows my cell number.. at least he should its in Em's phone.."
I watch as she sinks into the chair beside me and I reach out to her with my free hand spreading my fingers to give her the chance to lace hers through mine, which she does eagerly, I lock my eyes into hers and I see the uncertainty of what is yet to come in her eyes.. I hate that look, she always looks like she is going to cry when she has that look on her face.. and after what I have put her though she has done enough crying to last a lifetime.
"Faith, don't worry even though he is a complete bull-headed idiot at times he isn't completely stupid, he knows that you will hold true to what you said and he will think..."
My sentence is interrupted by the ringing of her phone.. I watch as she jumps out of her chair and leaps to answer it, looking at the call display she gets an odd look over her face and then she answers it, after a brief conversation she affirms everything and then thanks the other person on the phone and hangs up, she answers me before I get the chance to ask the question.
"That was Kendal, one of the detectives that I talked to.. you know we went to his engagement party a couple of years ago.. you were hitting on one of the bridesmaids there.. remember?"
I nod my head.. hey she was hot.. but not as good lookin as my Faith... my mind flashes to the kiss that we shared moments before Mary interrupted us... I could have kept kissing her all day if I could... I don't think that I have ever felt that kind of sensation from just kissing someone.. its true what they say.. you really do see fireworks...
"Well I had asked him to trace Em's cell number when I called it just now to talk to Fred, He just called me back to say that he located where the signal was coming from.. they found out where he is living.. its in the South Bronx, it isn't on our turf but if push comes to shove he said that he can pull some strings and I can be there if we have to arrest him and get my kids back by force.. now we just have to wait it out to see if he takes my threat seriously.."
I want to be there when they get Fred but unfortunately that's not going to happen.. at least not now... My spirit is willing but unfortunately my body has other things to say... I feel guilty for lying here even if it isn't of my own volition I want to be there when they bring him in... but that isn't going to happen so all I can do is try and be there as much as I can for her, let Faith know that I am there for when she thinks that there is nobody else there.
"Faith I wish I could be there, I want to be with you when you get your kids back.. I meant what I said earlier Faith.. I wish I could have found you first before he did.. I wanted to be the one to have given you the life that you deserve."
Her kiss is still reeling in my mind as I pull on her hand... Damnit! I hate being so damn weak, I am sure that it didn't feel like what I wanted it to feel like but Faith gets the point, she gets up out of her chair and sits beside me on the bed I smile at her and I see a tear slip out of her eye... I feel for her, I know that this is the last thing that she ever wanted to do, all that she wanted to have was a happy marriage but instead she got one that was full of turbulence, alcohol abuse and problems from start to well... finish.. I reach up and brush away the tear with the tip of my finger and press my palm into her cheek, the soft flesh feels exquisite underneath my hand as I close my eyes and wish to end her pain.. I hate seeing her like this.
"Bosco, do you think that I am doing the right thing? I mean it seems so wrong.. threatening my husband, I want to see my kids, and he wont let me... there has to be a better way of doing all this... Bosco...what am I doing?"
I take a deep breath as she sighs, my heart goes out to her.. it isn't fair that she is reduced to doing this... arresting her soon to be ex-husband just to see her kids... it isn't fair even though she works at odd hours of the day she still tries to make it to everything that the kids are involved with.. she was heartbroken when she didn't make it to Em's gymnastics meet a few years back, we made it to most of Charlie's soccer matches and even a few baseball games.. she has done so much for her kids and not to mention she is the one that is keeping the roof over their heads and food on the table..
"Faith, what Fred is doing to you is wrong.. he shouldn't be keeping your kids from you, especially since he up and left you in the middle of your shift, Faith that was sneaky and low, even for him.. what you are doing is the right thing... if he wants to be sneaky and bull-headed then let him, doing this is showing him that you are not going to stand for it, at least the Faith I know and love would never stand for this shit."
I watch as a smile plays on the corner of her mouth, I know that my words made a difference because now she is nodding her head.
"You're right Bosco, there is no way that I should stand for the bull that he is putting me though and packing up like that and leaving me in the middle of my shift that isn't fair.. not to mention that I was worried sick about both him and the kids.. I had to wait until HE called me to arrange that meeting.. and then to drop a bomb like that.. that he had been cheating on me.. no wonder he didn't want to touch me..."
Her voice trailed off and she went red in the face.. during our time together we shared a lot, I mean she wouldn't hold much back when it came to her sex life with Fred.. mostly because she liked the look that I got across my face when she told me about the escapades in the Yokas boudoir... and lots of other things that I didn't need to hear.. but this... her telling me that Fred had turned away from her nearly tore my heart out.
I pull Faith closer to me and caressing her face with my hand I bring her head closer to mine... I moan softly as her lips caress over mine, sending electric shivers though my body, leaving me breathless, She pulls her head away and I seem to have trouble catching my breath, it feels like I am breathing though a straw, its getting harder to breathe... I feel the fear rising in my throat, Faith must have sensed that something was wrong because she pulled away from me and was looking down at me in concern, I hear the beeping of the heart monitor increase as my heart races in fear.
"Bosco.. Bosco what's wrong? Bosco!"
Her voice rises as fear rises in her eyes.. She leaves my beside to run into the corridor,
"SOMEONE HELP ME!! HE CAN'T BREATHE!"
I hear footsteps running down the hall as Faith returns to my side, taking my hand and telling me that help is on the way.. its getting harder to breathe and the fact that I have a hole in one of my lungs isn't making it easier. In seconds Doctors are by my side as I feel the curtain descends over my eyes and the world goes fuzzy, as Faith's screams echo in my ears.
Thinking of Rebecca only made my longing for my children worse and re- kindled the fire that made me drop another quarter into the phone and dial Em's cell number.. she said that Fred had taken it away from her when she had tried to call me.. there was still a good chance that he had it and because I was calling from a payphone the number wouldn't appear on the call display.. I felt the fire running though my veins as I heard the phone ring once... and then again.., on the third ring I heard his voice on the other end..
"Hello?"
I take a deep breath trying to control the feeling of fury at my soon to be ex-husband for trying to take my kids away from me.. he knows better than anyone that I would die for them.. there are only three people that I would die for.. Emily and Charlie and of course Bosco...
"Fred... don't you even think of ending this call before you hear what I have to say.. I know everything Fred including where you are living right now.. and I am going to give you one chance to save yourself a lot of grief..."
"Faith don't you tell me what I can and cannot do.. you were the one who turned her back on us... that is why I left you"
I felt the heat grow stronger as I fought to control my voice level.. the last thing I wanted to be doing was be screaming into a payphone in the middle of Mercy..
"Fred you know that I never turned my back on you.. you are just using that as an excuse to go to that slut that you are living with now and you know it.. now listen because I am going to only say this once.. and if you even dare to hang up on me before I am done.. you are calling down a thunder that you don't want to deal with Fred believe me.. I will not hesitate to bring everything that I have behind me into this... if I do that then it is going to get ugly"
I hear his voice raise on the other end at my words and I know that I have his attention now.. he knows better than to cross me especially when he's hurt me so deeply..
"She is not a slut.. she is trying to be a mother to the children that YOU abandoned.. trying to piece together a family that YOU turned your back on... oh by the way Faith how's your precious partner Bosco? Is he dead yet?"
He spat his name in to the phone and I heard the jealousy dripping from his voice... I felt a sense of vindication when I heard that from my supposedly loving husband... I knew that I had turned the dagger in him too and I smiled at the pain in his voice..
"Now are you going to listen to what I have to say or are you going to call down the thunder Fred? Think carefully on this because you know better than to do what you are doing right now."
"Fine, Talk but make it fast Colleen is making dinner"
So that's her name.. that should make it a little easier to find Fred... I had given the detectives Em's cell phone number and they said that they would put a trace on it.. if I kept him talking long enough they might be able to get a general location on where he might be with my kids.. I already told them that they were somewhere in the Bronx I just didn't know where.. this conversation might be the only way of locating my kids and bringing them home with me..
"Fred you know that what you did is wrong.. taking the kids like that in the middle of my shift... without a word on where you were going and how I can get to see them.. and then on top of things forbidding them to call me or get in touch with me.. I wouldn't even have known that you had taken Em's cell phone if she hadn't told me herself.. Oh yes Fred she came to see me because she doesn't like what you have done and she misses me.. and if you do anything to punish her for coming to see me I swear to your old friend Jesus that I will get you for anything that you do to her... for trying to see her Mother.. now here is what is going to happen.. you are going to tell me where you are and you are also going to let me see my kids.. and then you are going to get a good lawyer because I am going to take you right to court for full custody of Emily and Charlie... now if you do not let me see my kids then I will hunt you down like the slime dog you are and arrest you for kidnapping my kids and I will personally shut the door with a smile on my face.... Now I am going to give you one hour Fred... one hour to let you think it over.. and that is only because I am in a good mood.. if I do not hear from you within an hour you had better be prepared to face the music... and I mean it Fred.. nobody takes my kids away from me without facing the consequences.. you got that Fred NOBODY!! You have one hour!"
I replace the receiver and I sink into the chair beside me.. I did it.. I threatened my husband.. I never thought that I would hear myself do that.. but then again desperate times called for desperate measures so he really brought it on himself, he should have known the consequences of messing with me when it came to my children.. I think that I might have been able to get over the fact that he cheated on me.. but because he took my kids too that was the call to war.. and now that Bosco was awake and I had started sorting out my feelings for him I turned my attention to getting my kids back. Taking a deep breath I try and find the strength to make my legs work.
I open my eyes in time to see Faith walk back into the room, I can tell that she is flustered about something I don't know what it is but I have a feeling that it has something to do with Emily being here earlier.. she had told me about Fred leaving her, well I already knew that from seeing the apartment but I didn't know that he had cheated on her, and I think that is the driving force that I have to get better now.. I have to be there for her not only for support but also to give Fred what for if he ever comes near her again, I'll kill him if he ever comes near her again, I smile to myself as I make a promise to kick his sorry ass the next time I see him.. well the next time I see him and I can get out of this bed.
"Faith what's wrong? Where were you?"
"Fighting to get my kids back.. I threatened him Bosco.. I called him up and threatened to track him down and arrest him for kidnapping if he didn't return my kids to me within an hour... well at least let me see them.. I cant handle Emily sneaking around so she can see her Mother.. she told me that Charlie would have come with her but he is too scared to risk his fathers anger for sneaking around...if he touches one hair on their heads I swear I'm gonna..."
Her voice trails off and I see that angry look that I have seen so many times before.. it's the "mess with me and die" look and I know that she means it.. and even though I still cant move from this bed I would stand by her as best I could until I can kick his sorry ass for doing it to her..
"I told him that he had an hour to get back to me.. he knows my cell number.. at least he should its in Em's phone.."
I watch as she sinks into the chair beside me and I reach out to her with my free hand spreading my fingers to give her the chance to lace hers through mine, which she does eagerly, I lock my eyes into hers and I see the uncertainty of what is yet to come in her eyes.. I hate that look, she always looks like she is going to cry when she has that look on her face.. and after what I have put her though she has done enough crying to last a lifetime.
"Faith, don't worry even though he is a complete bull-headed idiot at times he isn't completely stupid, he knows that you will hold true to what you said and he will think..."
My sentence is interrupted by the ringing of her phone.. I watch as she jumps out of her chair and leaps to answer it, looking at the call display she gets an odd look over her face and then she answers it, after a brief conversation she affirms everything and then thanks the other person on the phone and hangs up, she answers me before I get the chance to ask the question.
"That was Kendal, one of the detectives that I talked to.. you know we went to his engagement party a couple of years ago.. you were hitting on one of the bridesmaids there.. remember?"
I nod my head.. hey she was hot.. but not as good lookin as my Faith... my mind flashes to the kiss that we shared moments before Mary interrupted us... I could have kept kissing her all day if I could... I don't think that I have ever felt that kind of sensation from just kissing someone.. its true what they say.. you really do see fireworks...
"Well I had asked him to trace Em's cell number when I called it just now to talk to Fred, He just called me back to say that he located where the signal was coming from.. they found out where he is living.. its in the South Bronx, it isn't on our turf but if push comes to shove he said that he can pull some strings and I can be there if we have to arrest him and get my kids back by force.. now we just have to wait it out to see if he takes my threat seriously.."
I want to be there when they get Fred but unfortunately that's not going to happen.. at least not now... My spirit is willing but unfortunately my body has other things to say... I feel guilty for lying here even if it isn't of my own volition I want to be there when they bring him in... but that isn't going to happen so all I can do is try and be there as much as I can for her, let Faith know that I am there for when she thinks that there is nobody else there.
"Faith I wish I could be there, I want to be with you when you get your kids back.. I meant what I said earlier Faith.. I wish I could have found you first before he did.. I wanted to be the one to have given you the life that you deserve."
Her kiss is still reeling in my mind as I pull on her hand... Damnit! I hate being so damn weak, I am sure that it didn't feel like what I wanted it to feel like but Faith gets the point, she gets up out of her chair and sits beside me on the bed I smile at her and I see a tear slip out of her eye... I feel for her, I know that this is the last thing that she ever wanted to do, all that she wanted to have was a happy marriage but instead she got one that was full of turbulence, alcohol abuse and problems from start to well... finish.. I reach up and brush away the tear with the tip of my finger and press my palm into her cheek, the soft flesh feels exquisite underneath my hand as I close my eyes and wish to end her pain.. I hate seeing her like this.
"Bosco, do you think that I am doing the right thing? I mean it seems so wrong.. threatening my husband, I want to see my kids, and he wont let me... there has to be a better way of doing all this... Bosco...what am I doing?"
I take a deep breath as she sighs, my heart goes out to her.. it isn't fair that she is reduced to doing this... arresting her soon to be ex-husband just to see her kids... it isn't fair even though she works at odd hours of the day she still tries to make it to everything that the kids are involved with.. she was heartbroken when she didn't make it to Em's gymnastics meet a few years back, we made it to most of Charlie's soccer matches and even a few baseball games.. she has done so much for her kids and not to mention she is the one that is keeping the roof over their heads and food on the table..
"Faith, what Fred is doing to you is wrong.. he shouldn't be keeping your kids from you, especially since he up and left you in the middle of your shift, Faith that was sneaky and low, even for him.. what you are doing is the right thing... if he wants to be sneaky and bull-headed then let him, doing this is showing him that you are not going to stand for it, at least the Faith I know and love would never stand for this shit."
I watch as a smile plays on the corner of her mouth, I know that my words made a difference because now she is nodding her head.
"You're right Bosco, there is no way that I should stand for the bull that he is putting me though and packing up like that and leaving me in the middle of my shift that isn't fair.. not to mention that I was worried sick about both him and the kids.. I had to wait until HE called me to arrange that meeting.. and then to drop a bomb like that.. that he had been cheating on me.. no wonder he didn't want to touch me..."
Her voice trailed off and she went red in the face.. during our time together we shared a lot, I mean she wouldn't hold much back when it came to her sex life with Fred.. mostly because she liked the look that I got across my face when she told me about the escapades in the Yokas boudoir... and lots of other things that I didn't need to hear.. but this... her telling me that Fred had turned away from her nearly tore my heart out.
I pull Faith closer to me and caressing her face with my hand I bring her head closer to mine... I moan softly as her lips caress over mine, sending electric shivers though my body, leaving me breathless, She pulls her head away and I seem to have trouble catching my breath, it feels like I am breathing though a straw, its getting harder to breathe... I feel the fear rising in my throat, Faith must have sensed that something was wrong because she pulled away from me and was looking down at me in concern, I hear the beeping of the heart monitor increase as my heart races in fear.
"Bosco.. Bosco what's wrong? Bosco!"
Her voice rises as fear rises in her eyes.. She leaves my beside to run into the corridor,
"SOMEONE HELP ME!! HE CAN'T BREATHE!"
I hear footsteps running down the hall as Faith returns to my side, taking my hand and telling me that help is on the way.. its getting harder to breathe and the fact that I have a hole in one of my lungs isn't making it easier. In seconds Doctors are by my side as I feel the curtain descends over my eyes and the world goes fuzzy, as Faith's screams echo in my ears.