I can only sit helplessly as I watch the doctors work on Bosco... they put a
tube down his throat to help him start breathing... among the jumble of
medical mumbo jumbo coming out of them I hear that they thing that it might
be some sort of blood clot that formed in his legs and traveled to his
lungs... oh god! That would explain why he couldn't breathe...
I don't think that I can take much more of this.. I have to get away.. turning to the door I run out of the room, though the hospital and for some reason I ran for the stairs and just started climbing them... I had to get higher, it seemed like the higher I got the closer I felt to that angel Bosco was talking about, if he was right about him telling me that she was his guardian angel maybe she would hear my desperate plea to her... I ran though the door that brought me to the roof and I make it to the edge where I have stood so many times before when I needed some air while I was waiting for perps to be seen in the always overcrowded ER. I fall down to my knees and let my head fall into my hands as my shoulders shake with sobs, forcing my head to tilt to the sky I feel the warmth of the sun on my face as I call out in to the mid-day sky.
"Please... please if you are out there.. I know that you can hear me... I know that you were with him before... you helped guide him back to me... Please I beg you don't lead him away from me.. please...."
My voice cracks as I curl into a little ball on the roof deck and sob silently into my hands... this cant be happening again.. especially when I needed him most.. when we just started to reveal to each other how much we truly meant to each other... he was getting better... I thought about Bosco.. all the times that we shared in the RMP together, the conversations that we shared.. how he listened to me while I confessed my problems to him, my fears about being pregnant again and then for some reason my mind flashed to that rapist and I felt a fresh tear roll down my cheek as I remember Bosco helping me with my jacket, the gentle touch of his hand as he pulled the sleeve around so I could get my arm into it... and then I remember him telling me about how he was worried that he would turn out like his father, thinking that the violence was somehow genetic and he was terrified that he would end up like him, that he was scared of a real relationship he was always scared that he would turn out like his father.
A hand on my shoulder made me open my eyes and look up, standing in front of me was the doctor that was working on Bosco.. he looked down at me with sympathy, I don't think that I would take the pain of loosing my best friend and partner.
Well here I am again.. looking at my body and watching the doctors work to save me again.. they say I had some kind of blood clot that traveled to my lungs and that is why I couldn't breathe.. they put a tube down my throat again to help me breath but I watched the numbers on the monitor fall.. they pumped me full of something that they called Heparin what ever the hell that was... I don't know where Faith went... she ran out of the room when the Doctors came in and I have a feeling I know where she is but more concerning to me is the fact that there is someone else in the room with me. Her wings folded over her graceful shoulders, she looks at me with intrigue..
"What are you doing here?"
She looks at me like her being here is the most natural thing in the world.. and then she smiles and stands up, her wings moving behind her in a soft rustle.
"Maurice..." my name spills out of her mouth sounding like the sigh of the only woman I have ever loved.. hell she looks like Faith but her voice sounds sweeter.. if that was possible.... "The Gatekeeper has a message for you... he said its time.. and he sent me to get you... I am once again the Angel of Death"
No she cant be... I wont let her take me... not when I just found out that the only woman that I truly loved, loved me back... I wont go.. I back away and run out the door as she advances towards me, her arms outstretched wings unfurled around her, she truly looks magnificent but I wont go with her... I wont let her take me.. the last time she took me it was Faith that brought me back.. it was Faith who pushed her away (well so to speak)... I know where she is.. she always goes up to the roof when she needs to clear her head when we are waiting for a perp to be released.. running for the door I hear her call after me...
"You cant hide Maurice..why deny the inevitable?"
I learned from previous experience that trying to open doors was a futile endeavor and that passing right through them was so much easier.. although it still gave me the creeps. Reaching the roof I look around and there is Faith standing by the ledge her head in her hands as she sobs into them, and then I hear her plea to the Angel who wanted to take me.. asking her to lead me back to her.. if she only knew that wasn't her intention at all. I looked up at the sky and screamed at it as loud as I could...
"I AM NOT GOING!! YOU HEAR ME? I WONT GO!! I WILL FIGHT IF I HAVE TO BUT YOU CANT HAVE ME!"
Walking over to where Faith has now collapsed into a little ball onto the Helipad sobbing softly as she clutches something in her hand, getting closer I see that she still has my tie.. like some child with a safety blanket she clutches it to her like a child would to their "bubby" when they were scared or hurt.. reaching into her pocket she pulls out something else, my heart jumps when I see its my shield... the name "Boscorelli" clearly inscribed into the metal as she runs her fingers over it.. she must have got it from my suit jacket when they first started working on me. But what amazes me is that she held onto it for so long. Sitting down beside her I begin my protest against the Angel.. if it is going to be a battle of wills she had better be prepared to face the bulldog... the bulldog who's name happens to be Maurice Boscorelli
"Faith" I had been there so long now he was calling me by my first name...
"Officer Boscorelli... Bosco... he developed what we call a DVT or Deep Vein Thrombosis, because he has been inactive it is a blood clot that forms in the legs and can travel to vital organs, in Bosco's case it went to his lungs and caused a PE or a Pulmonary Embolism and because of his injured lung we had to re-intubate him and put him back on a Vent.. but for someone who has been though so much he is still hanging on with a fierce will to live... he wont give in. you can go back and see him now. We started him on a blood thinner called Heparin that will help dissolve the blood clot but for the moment unfortunately he is back in critical condition. I'm sorry Faith but now its just a waiting game."
I watched as he walked back to the stairwell... at least he was still fighting.. I knew that he would.. Bosco isn't someone who gives up easily on anything.. I should know I have been butting heads with him for close to 13 years.. I am just about to get up when I give one final look to the sky.. returning my gaze to the door I see a woman standing next to it.. she looks exactly like me... but with one difference.. there are a pair of white feathered wings that extend from her shoulders down to her feet, they arch up against the contrast of the dark paint on the door, I shake my head and take another look, she is gone.. good lord I'm delusional.... But in the back of my mind something is telling me that I wasn't seeing things.. that there really was an angel standing there...
"Please... PLEASE don't take him from me.. you hear me? I wont let you... I don't know how I am going to do it.. but I will fight you with everything I have to keep him here with me.."
With that said I march to the door and fling it open lightly feeling the hand on my shoulder as I head towards the stairs.
I don't think that I can take much more of this.. I have to get away.. turning to the door I run out of the room, though the hospital and for some reason I ran for the stairs and just started climbing them... I had to get higher, it seemed like the higher I got the closer I felt to that angel Bosco was talking about, if he was right about him telling me that she was his guardian angel maybe she would hear my desperate plea to her... I ran though the door that brought me to the roof and I make it to the edge where I have stood so many times before when I needed some air while I was waiting for perps to be seen in the always overcrowded ER. I fall down to my knees and let my head fall into my hands as my shoulders shake with sobs, forcing my head to tilt to the sky I feel the warmth of the sun on my face as I call out in to the mid-day sky.
"Please... please if you are out there.. I know that you can hear me... I know that you were with him before... you helped guide him back to me... Please I beg you don't lead him away from me.. please...."
My voice cracks as I curl into a little ball on the roof deck and sob silently into my hands... this cant be happening again.. especially when I needed him most.. when we just started to reveal to each other how much we truly meant to each other... he was getting better... I thought about Bosco.. all the times that we shared in the RMP together, the conversations that we shared.. how he listened to me while I confessed my problems to him, my fears about being pregnant again and then for some reason my mind flashed to that rapist and I felt a fresh tear roll down my cheek as I remember Bosco helping me with my jacket, the gentle touch of his hand as he pulled the sleeve around so I could get my arm into it... and then I remember him telling me about how he was worried that he would turn out like his father, thinking that the violence was somehow genetic and he was terrified that he would end up like him, that he was scared of a real relationship he was always scared that he would turn out like his father.
A hand on my shoulder made me open my eyes and look up, standing in front of me was the doctor that was working on Bosco.. he looked down at me with sympathy, I don't think that I would take the pain of loosing my best friend and partner.
Well here I am again.. looking at my body and watching the doctors work to save me again.. they say I had some kind of blood clot that traveled to my lungs and that is why I couldn't breathe.. they put a tube down my throat again to help me breath but I watched the numbers on the monitor fall.. they pumped me full of something that they called Heparin what ever the hell that was... I don't know where Faith went... she ran out of the room when the Doctors came in and I have a feeling I know where she is but more concerning to me is the fact that there is someone else in the room with me. Her wings folded over her graceful shoulders, she looks at me with intrigue..
"What are you doing here?"
She looks at me like her being here is the most natural thing in the world.. and then she smiles and stands up, her wings moving behind her in a soft rustle.
"Maurice..." my name spills out of her mouth sounding like the sigh of the only woman I have ever loved.. hell she looks like Faith but her voice sounds sweeter.. if that was possible.... "The Gatekeeper has a message for you... he said its time.. and he sent me to get you... I am once again the Angel of Death"
No she cant be... I wont let her take me... not when I just found out that the only woman that I truly loved, loved me back... I wont go.. I back away and run out the door as she advances towards me, her arms outstretched wings unfurled around her, she truly looks magnificent but I wont go with her... I wont let her take me.. the last time she took me it was Faith that brought me back.. it was Faith who pushed her away (well so to speak)... I know where she is.. she always goes up to the roof when she needs to clear her head when we are waiting for a perp to be released.. running for the door I hear her call after me...
"You cant hide Maurice..why deny the inevitable?"
I learned from previous experience that trying to open doors was a futile endeavor and that passing right through them was so much easier.. although it still gave me the creeps. Reaching the roof I look around and there is Faith standing by the ledge her head in her hands as she sobs into them, and then I hear her plea to the Angel who wanted to take me.. asking her to lead me back to her.. if she only knew that wasn't her intention at all. I looked up at the sky and screamed at it as loud as I could...
"I AM NOT GOING!! YOU HEAR ME? I WONT GO!! I WILL FIGHT IF I HAVE TO BUT YOU CANT HAVE ME!"
Walking over to where Faith has now collapsed into a little ball onto the Helipad sobbing softly as she clutches something in her hand, getting closer I see that she still has my tie.. like some child with a safety blanket she clutches it to her like a child would to their "bubby" when they were scared or hurt.. reaching into her pocket she pulls out something else, my heart jumps when I see its my shield... the name "Boscorelli" clearly inscribed into the metal as she runs her fingers over it.. she must have got it from my suit jacket when they first started working on me. But what amazes me is that she held onto it for so long. Sitting down beside her I begin my protest against the Angel.. if it is going to be a battle of wills she had better be prepared to face the bulldog... the bulldog who's name happens to be Maurice Boscorelli
"Faith" I had been there so long now he was calling me by my first name...
"Officer Boscorelli... Bosco... he developed what we call a DVT or Deep Vein Thrombosis, because he has been inactive it is a blood clot that forms in the legs and can travel to vital organs, in Bosco's case it went to his lungs and caused a PE or a Pulmonary Embolism and because of his injured lung we had to re-intubate him and put him back on a Vent.. but for someone who has been though so much he is still hanging on with a fierce will to live... he wont give in. you can go back and see him now. We started him on a blood thinner called Heparin that will help dissolve the blood clot but for the moment unfortunately he is back in critical condition. I'm sorry Faith but now its just a waiting game."
I watched as he walked back to the stairwell... at least he was still fighting.. I knew that he would.. Bosco isn't someone who gives up easily on anything.. I should know I have been butting heads with him for close to 13 years.. I am just about to get up when I give one final look to the sky.. returning my gaze to the door I see a woman standing next to it.. she looks exactly like me... but with one difference.. there are a pair of white feathered wings that extend from her shoulders down to her feet, they arch up against the contrast of the dark paint on the door, I shake my head and take another look, she is gone.. good lord I'm delusional.... But in the back of my mind something is telling me that I wasn't seeing things.. that there really was an angel standing there...
"Please... PLEASE don't take him from me.. you hear me? I wont let you... I don't know how I am going to do it.. but I will fight you with everything I have to keep him here with me.."
With that said I march to the door and fling it open lightly feeling the hand on my shoulder as I head towards the stairs.