Chapter 3 - Death Is Your Gift

- In Spike's car 2 and a half hours later -

He sat in the driver's seat without the car moving. He was parked in front of the hyperion and afraid to go in. On a normal occasion he would love the chance to taunt his grand-sire but to being such news made every vampire instinct in him go out the window. Except courage. He took the last drag of his smoke and threw it on the ground before he walked up to the door and stomped in without knocking. He saw the empty hotel room so he walked into the main room and sat on a couch. He would have to wait for his return. Wow did Spike hate patience.

- Half An Hour Later -

Spike could sense him coming from about a mile away. It was almost time. He actually felt guilty for ruining the obvious good mood he was in.

"There's no place like...."

Angel trails off as he sees Spike sitting hunched up on one of the chairs in the lobby. Angel's smile vanishes as Spike looks up at him. The vampires stare into each other's eyes until Cordelia breakes the reunion.

"What the hell is blondie doing here? I hope he's not going to torture you again because you looked horr..."

Spike scoffed, "Please shut her up. I have some bad news."

Angel crossed his arms, "And why should I believe you? The last time I saw you, you were..."

Spike cut him off, "Tied to a chair as Buffy tried to thanksgiving dinner." Angel realizes this as Spike cotinues. The fact he's obviously stressed does not go unnoticed. "Do you really think there's a chance in hell buffy would let me go unless there was a good reason?"

Angel nodded, "Unless you escaped."

Gunn interrupted, "Who's this dude?"

Angel just waved a hand as in never mind and continued with Spike, "So how are you going to try and kill me this time Spike? Is it torture? Is it...."

Spike practically yelled, "Would you just listen Angel? I don't know why she thought this was a good idea. I mean I hate you. She must be still trying to tort..."

Angel cut him off now, "You called me Angel. You never do that."

Spike half smiled, "Thanks Buffy."

Angel caught that small whisper, "Why'd you just say that?"

Spike got down to business, "Listen Angel we need to talk."

Angel was about to move when Cordy stopped him, "You're trusting him? What about last time? This is all a trap."

Angel assured her, "Cordy don't worry. Sadly I know SPike pretty well and now I know there's something really wrong."

That was all it took because Cordy let him go and the vampires walked into Wesley's office. Angel started, "So what Spike?"

"I hate you, you hate me but this is so important. I can't believe you can't feel it. On some level I wish you would feel it just so I don't have to say it."

Angel suddenly gasped and a pained look came over his face. "No, No, It can't be. I left her so she could have a long normal life."

Spike actually felt sorry for him. It was the first time in almost a century that he had actually seen Angel cry. The bond between sire and childe kicked in as Spike wrapped his arms around him. If he knew Angel as well as he did then Angel would probably want to be alone before he fully broke down. Spike tapped Angel's shoulder as he picked him up and carried him out of the office. Cordelia and everyone else attacked with questions but nothing was said as Spike walked upstairs towards Angel's room.

Angel lay down on his bed as Spike stared at him. The blonde was about to leave when Angel spoke, "How'd it happen Spike?"

Through struggle Spike answered, "There's no one left to kill or I would be there giving the best torture I have ever given." Angel was still silent and Spike knew this meant he wasn't satisfied so he continued, "She killed a god that used Dawn's blood to open a portal. Only her blood would close it. Since Dawn was made from Buffy our slayer thought it would work if her blood would close it. She jumped instead of her sister." Spike was in a tad of a trance thing so he kept talking, "It's my fault. I should of been able to take him. I shouldn't have fallen off."

Angel knew what was going on so he stopped Spike, "That's my girl. Always doing the sacrficial thing."

The both smiled a little bit but they dissappeared quickly. Spike spoke, "The funeral is in about 3 days. They won't start without me. You should be there."

"You know I will." There was a pause until Angel spoke again. "Since when did you too become so close?"

Spike smiled that smile, "Since I told her I loved her, threatened to kill Dru for her and then she threw money at me. Great times."

"I guess you had to be there."

"Yea well, we all know who she's loving."

"Ril..."

Spike wouldn't even let him finish, "Eww no not anymore. Can you believe it? He got jealous over you and dracula biting her that he went to go get bit. He payed vampires to bite them. Remember when we used to have to pry Dru away from those places. Anyway he took off on her right after buffy found out because he's in the army. After he left Buffy's mom died. You were there for that though."

"I should of stayed. I mean she asked me to but the temptation..."

"So here's where you blame yourself. The ironic thing is we all blame each other yet we all say it's no one's fault."

"Since when are you nice like this. You're talking like....William." He said the old name as if a sudden revelation hit him

Spike smiled a tad, "That's what she said. Buffy...She called me William. She was a bitch but that was always our way, you know?"

Angel nodded, "How'd she tell you?"

Spike threw him the note, "I'll leave you two alone. Got to explain to your whiny friends downstairs."

Spike left and Angel instantly tore open the envelope. It read...

Dear my Beloved,

I left this taped to my window because that's the one place in my room that when I look I think of you. Even after these two years and few visits it get's hard just thinking about you. I don't know why but...it's like whenever I put on your leather jacket or see a picture of you I feel like I'm that 16 year old girl again, I feel safe. I needed to write you because I know there's some way out there that you blame yourself for me. There's nothing you could do about it. I made my choice behind everyone's backs. I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye in person but I know you would of somehow persuaded me not to do it. There's just so much I'm going to miss.

I couldn't leave without telling you one thing for sure. I'll never forget Angel. It was so hard walking out of the office knowing what had happened, knowing the feel of your heart beat, and knowing that I would never feel it again. I didn't want to tell you because I'm positive it would of just created more mess but I am now. I think i finally understand why you didn't tell me about that day...Why you made it go away...why you left me in the first place. Knowing you're going to die really puts things in perspective.

We both knew this day was coming. I know you're mad at me and my "Stubborn sacrificial" ways but it's what had to be done. I was told that death was my gift and for days it tore me up inside until I saw that sunrise and heard her voice. I was meant to do this. Faith will probably be ready now. She can do it. I have so much faith in you Angel and I am so proud of what you've managed to do, what you've become. You're stronger then you think and now you hold my strength too, don't hide yourself in the shadows...unless it's direct sunlight. We taught each other to fight and now that's all I ask of you. Keep fighting, Don't mope and brood because we'll be together, I promise you. Our souls are joined...There's no way I'm letting you go.

There's a lot I want to say to you but how do you say goodbye to the person who hold the other half of your soul? We were in different cities but we were never apart. That will Never change. You were my savior and soul; You really were my Angel. I love you with every breath of my now unbeating heart!
Your girl Always,
- Buffy

P.S. - Help Spike. I know the rivalry but still. You're so much more mature and smart. He'll need you to help sometimes. And faith should show up soon, help her too. You did a real good thing my Angel.

The weeps and cries that came from that room were only heard by Spike downstairs. It was the hardest thing to do so far and the funeral was still ahead. He looked at Cordelia, Wesley and the other two he hadn't met yet. He didn't bother with introductions seeing as he'd get them later. He finally had to say the words...words he hadn't said yet. He looked Cordelia in the eyes which truly held worry and he started to speak.

"I know what I just did seemed suspicious, hell even I would think I was up to something but this has nothing to do with how much we hate each other. It's about love and..."

He couldn't finish for Cordelia broke down into a screaming pain. Wesley screamed vision as he caught her. When she did finally open her eyes she looked to only Spike. He seemed to understand without explanation as her eyes became blurry with water.

Only a whisper came out of her mouth, "Buffy." Wesley was still looking around so Cordelia helped him out there, "Buffy sacrificed herself to save the world."

Spike held in his own gried for he knew he had to be strong but just hearing the words said out loud hurt so much. It was going to be a long sad couple of days...