And finally for the final (and longest) version...
STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIED: I do not own Gundam Wing.
Title: Woe (the third version of the sequel to "Sorrow")
Date written: 12112004 (Friday)
Language: British English
Warnings: 4/3(implied), 1/3, 4x1x3, yaoi, angst.
(I'm sorry, if there are grammatical or spelling errors. I try editing through it, but its really late, and I'm feeling sleepy so I may have miss out on some mistakes. ZZZZZZZZZ.)
TROWA's POV
Right after the Eve wars had ended, Heero had disappeared. He had vanished completely without leaving a word or a trace. He has disappeared entirely from my sight, and with him a large chunk of my soul has gone missing too...
But, his presence in my heart would not dissolve away. He has left his personal mark, an imprint in my heart that could not ever be removed. And I did try... I really did... Yet, it still remains...
It is not that I don't love Quatre, for I do. Most definitely. And I have been very happy to be with him, and have him as my lover. However, I am in love with Heero too, and I do so want to have him with me too. But, I know that this dream of my would never be possible, especially since Heero does not even love me...
Moreover, I do know that it is wrong for me to be in love with two different people, but I have no control over these emotions that had welled up from my heart and overflow into my soul. And the only possible way for me to ever rid my heart off these feelings, is to stop my heart from ever beating again...
"Trowa?" I heard a voice penetrated through the haze of my mind, pulling me out from my self-induced stupor, and I looked up and saw Wufei. He was the only other ex-Gundam pilot (besides me) that was currently on shift at the Preventers' headquarters.
I tilted my head slightly so as to shake off my long bangs that were blocking up too much of my vision, and with my single visible eye, I glanced up at him and questioned in my usual monotone, "Is there a problem?"
"Yes," He nodded, and then added in the highly composed manner of his, "You've a mission."
Without a word, I eyed him, waiting for him to continue with the details.
And sure enough he did. He handed me a pile of documents about the mission, and said, "Trowa, you are assigned to check out on a group of space pirates that are stationed at the asteroid belt near L1.They are suspected of hoarding and smuggling lethal weapons of mass destruction. And you've to infiltrate their base secretly to confirm whether this rumour is true. No other actions are required as of yet."
I gave a slight nod as response, and then stood up and picked up my Preventers' jacket and some potentially useful equipment that were scattered haphazardly across the face of my wooden desk.
Just as I was about to leave the room, Wufei halted me and said in a quiet voice, "Good luck, Trowa. Don't take unnecessarily risk." I was surprised, for Wufei is not usually one for unnecessary speech, and yet here he was in front of me wishing me luck for a mission. I looked him straight in his eyes, and graced him with one of my rare smiles, and nodded, wordlessly thanking him for his kind concern. In return, I got back a small but genuine smile from him, and the wise and somewhat prophetical advice, "Be careful and don't be seen. This group of space pirates are renowned for their monstrous ruthlessness. This is purely a surveillance mission. Just go in and check out the situation, but don't try attacking on your own."
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HEERO'S POV
As per normal, I was currently hacking into the Preventers' system and retrieving information on Trowa's present situation and whereabouts. Many a times, I had secretly trailed him on his mission, and without him knowing, I had privately assisted him with them. He is my love and he will always be the only one I love, so even though I could not be with him, I would most certainly continue to protect him and to aid him on, behind his back.
I could feel my anger rising as I read his latest mission order. How could Une sent Trowa on such a hazardous mission on his own? Yes, it is true that it is only a surveillance mission, and yes, Trowa is extremely good, but still...What in the world, was that woman thinking?
I need to get to Trowa now... Trowa has always cared too little for his own well-being; pricing his own life much cheaper than others...
And on such an unsafe mission, it is best that he will have someone to watch his back.
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TROWA's POV
With an automatic pistol firmly held within the palm of my hand, I stealthy made my way through the maze-like corridors of this extremely huge space station (the home base for this group of callous space pirates).
As I snooped around from room to room in prying for any signs of them illegally hoarding artillery, I discovered that I had incidentally made my way to the central control station. As it was deep into the night, the security was rather lax, and currently, there were only two pirates guarding the room. On seeing this, I sneaked into the room silently, and crept into the dark corner that was flanked by the wall and a large filing cabinet and couched down. I took out a silencer and fitted it to the end of the barrel of my gun. Then, I took my aim and in speedy succession shot at the two guards, and thus before they even realised that I was there, they were already lying dead on the cold hard floor of the room.
However, as it is always vital to make sure that the enemies that you have attempted to kill are absolutely dead, so with my piston still in hand, I slowly walked out from my concealed corner and bended down besides the still warmed but inanimate bodies of the pirates, and checked for their pulse. And yes, indeed they were truly gone.
I looked around the room that was clustered with computers, and I knew that these were my best and most reliable chance of finding anything. Nevertheless, hacking through an enemy system always involved great risk, as it is usually the easiest way to trigger off the alarms, and although I was pretty good at hacking, but still I am definitely not of Heero's standard. It is Heero who is the computer specialist among the Gundam pilots, not me. At that very moment, Wufei's earlier warning against reckless behaviours coursed through my mind, and I felt a sudden sense of foreboding uneasiness washed over me. However, being the foolhardy heroes that we (the Gundam pilots) generally are, we always end up choosing to thread the path of danger in the name of greater good. Likewise, this was once again the path that I chose. With this final stray thought in mind, I start making my attempt to hack through their system...
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HEERO'S POV
I scouted through the space station looking for a room with a computer, so that I could get a chance to hack into their system and download a blueprint.
Finally, I found myself in the central control station, a room that was surrounded with computers and had two corpses lying on its floor.
At the sight, my heart beat with excitement... Trowa had been here...
I hastily sat down at the main computer, and booted up its system. Once the program was running, my hands started their rapid flight across the keyboards, hacking through the system and getting it to spill all the information that I have required: the blueprint of this place, and all the meagre signs of Trowa's presence that had been caught on the surveillance cameras.
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TROWA's POV
As I was swiftly making my way through the dark and narrow corridors of this labyrinth searching in vain for an exit, a small group of pirates has manifested right in front of me, impeding me from making my escape. Nevertheless, I could not just give up, somehow I have to find a way to escape and return to the Preventers' headquarters to report my findings, as to much is as stake. These space pirates have been collecting highly destructive weapons for months, and the only reason that I had not find any signs of artillery here was because, this was only their secondary base and not their main one (as we had previously thought). Moreover, these pirates were not just collecting weapons for sales, but instead they were in preparation to start a full-fledged war on the world.
Even though I was greatly outnumbered, with my pistol ready in hand, I hold a firm stance and ready myself for the brutal fight ahead.
When the men made their move, I quickly did a flip over their heads, landed on my feet behind their backs, and start opening rapid fire at them. And one by one, in sweeping sequence, they dropped dead at my feet. However, I too was not spared and by the time the fight had ended, two of the pirates had managed to get their shots at me, drenching my clothes in my blood and theirs...
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HEERO'S POV
As I stealthy moved through the winding corridors of this rotten place, I came upon one narrow pathway, with a pile of dead pirates and a trail of blood... Trowa's blood...
At the sight of blood, my heart started pounding quickly. I was highly worried and gravely anxious to find Trowa. My love who is hurt...
After I have made sure that Trowa was safe and well, I would come back here to seek my vengeance and I am most positive that I would want to blast this damned place into countless pieces of tiny shreds...
But, first and foremost, I must find Trowa...
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TROWA's POV
It has been quite a while since my unfortunate meeting with the group of pirates, but till now I still could not find my way out of this perplexing space station. And with each passing moment, and the increasing blood lost, I was feeling more and more disoriented, thus increasingly hindering my chance of escaping out of this place alive.
Suddenly, I heard the growing sounds of incessantly nearing footsteps...
I glanced around, and saw another group of pirates heading my way. And in my weary state, I knew that I was trapped...
"Hey blokes, look what we have here?" sneered the stout and bulky pirate that was leading the group.
A tall and lanky man with dirty-blond hair, peered over his right shoulder and mockingly remarked, "Ahh... a fine-looking lad, but a really naughty one. Well Jake, don't you think we should take him with us, and give him a good spanking?" At his words, the four other pirates started to sniggered.
"Most definitely," a dark-haired pirate taunted, "I do wonder whether he will taste as good as he look."
"So what are we waiting for, let's get him," commented a fourth.
"Yes, let's," chorused the fifth as he reached forth to grab at my collar, "It's been too long since we were last gifted with such a gorgeous young thing." With that, he pulled me towards him and forcibly planted a rough and revolting kiss on my mouth.
As his questing tongue attempted to part my lips and enter my mouth, I gathered all the strength that I have left in me, punched him on his jaw and forcefully broke free from his abhorring clutches and flung myself away from him towards the wall. As long as I have a single drop of life left in me, I would continue to fight on. I would never ever willingly surrender to the disgustingly nauseating wishes of these depraved men.
"Well, looks like he likes it rough," said the fifth pirate with the now bloody jaw and a malicious glint in his eyes, "I guess we would have to tame him first."
"Yes, I so agree," said the burly Jake scornfully, and then he headed straight towards me and threw a potent punch in my direction. I tried to move out of his way, but as I was in sheer exhaustion, all I could do was staggered a bare few steps to the side. And when the hard blow struck me, I swayed on my feet for a bit, before crumpling limply to the floor.
And straight after that, the rest of the group joined him in attacking me viciously. I was being ceaselessly kicked at and roughly thrown about... I closed my eyes, patiently waiting for the moment when my life would be gone, and I would be free from this seemingly endless torment. I just hope that I would be dead before they had the chance to debauch my body...
Just as abruptly as it started, my torture stopped...
Then, before I knew it, I found myself being cradled within a pair of strong arms. And with this realisation, I panicked, thinking that the men had finally decided to move on to the dreadfully detested next stage of their cruel torture... Weakly, I tried to struggle out from the arms, but I was held back firmly in place.
"It's me, Trowa, please calm down, and do stop moving so much or you will hurt yourself more," I heard a familiar and much missed voice pierced its way through the thick fog of my confused mind. But... but how could that be? How could he possible be here?
I forcibly open my blood-sealed eyes... and saw him, my dark angel peering down at me with an obvious look of concern etched on his beautiful face...
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HEERO'S POV
On seeing his beautiful emerald orbs staring back at me, I could not help but graced him with a smile. My most beautiful one... My heart...
"Heero..." he feebly murmured.
"Hush now, Trowa. You need to rest."
"Heero, please... let me continue... I... I need to say this... It's... very important... for me..."
"Hush, Trowa. You can tell me later when you're well."
"No... No, you... you'll be gone..."
"Hush, it's alright. I promise that I'll stay till you are well."
"And after? Will... will you... stay on... after?"
"Trowa, I..."
"Please Heero... I... I love you... I love you so much... Heero. It hurts... so badly when... when you aren't around... Please."
"But Quatre?"
"I... I love him too. I... I know that it's... greedy of me to want both of you... but... but I love you both... a lot... I don't know what to do...
"Trowa..."
"I try to stop loving... to stop loving you... but I can't. Believe me... I really did try... I'm sorry Heero, I know... I know that you... don't love me, but..." Trowa looked away as he said this.
I reached forth and gently hold his chin in my hand, and titled his face to face mine. And then, I saw that tears were leaking through the lovely long lashes of his eyes...
I lifted my hand to his face, and tenderly wiped them off, and said in a soft and soothing tone, "No, Trowa. I do love you too. You're my heart."
"But why..."
"But why did I say those mean things to you and push you away?"
Holding my gaze, he nodded. Wanting to know the truth; needing to know the truth.
"Because I love you. Because I want what's best for you. I'm sorry that I had hurt you in the process. I promise I'll stick around this time, and I'll not leave you till we've sort things out."
And in reply, he gave me a sweet and lovely smile, before losing his battle against usconsciousnous.
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QUATRE'S POV
On receiving the news of Trowa's hospitalisation in L1, I immediately set aside all the stuff that I was working on and head off on the journey to his side....
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HEERO'S POV
I was sitting on a chair, placed at the side of Trowa's hospital bed, with my hand wrapped around his. Trowa looked so innocent in his rest, delicate and innocent. And, so very beautiful...
As I moved my other hand up to stroke his lovely hair, the door opened. I looked up from Trowa's face and saw Quatre...
"Quatre," I greeted.
"Heero," he replied in his usual friendly tone (with just a bare hint of sadness), "It has been a long time since I last saw you. How have you been? Good?"
"Hn," was all I gave as reply.
I eyed him, as he shifted a chair to the other side of Trowa's bed and sat down, all the time grazing tenderly at the beautiful and fragile one lying on the bed.
"Quatre..."
On hearing his name, he finally tore his eyes away from the face of our beautiful angel and looked at me.
"Heero, what is it?"
"Trowa..."
"Trowa had said that he love you, didn't he? And you had finally admitted your feelings too."
"I..."
"I know. You don't have to be sorry. It is I who should apologise, after all, you will with him first," he said with a slightly bitter smile, "I'm truly sorry. But at that time, when Trowa and I first got together, I didn't know about your relationship with him, and he... and he of course couldn't remember... because of me..."
"He loves you too."
"I know. But, he also loves you. And ... and he wants to be with both of us doesn't he?"
I nodded.
"Maybe... Maybe... we should grant him what he yearns for..."
"What do you mean, Quatre?"
"We can be in a threesome."
"But, I don't love you..."
"I know. I don't love you too. But, for Trowa's sake, we have to at least try. Besides, you're indeed very attractive and you're a friend... and so maybe... maybe someday I may truly fall for you. But not now, not at the moment. Now, the only love I feel for you is that of a friend. But, still we can always pretend."
"Hn. For Trowa sake. Mission acknowledged."
On hearing the familiar wartime pet phrase of mine, he laughed. And yes, I have to admit that he too was attractive...
At that very moment, Trowa woke up. He blearily looked at us through his bangs, cutely yawned and then most sweetly smiled.
"Heero, Quatre, it's good to have both of you with me," he softly whispered in his still frail voice.
"We'll both be with you, Trowa. Just as the way you have wanted it," Quatre said gently, as he tenderly stroked Trowa's cheek.
At the sight, I could feel a painful stroke of jealously running through my veins, but I forcefully curbed down this unpleasant feeling. I have better get use to this idea of sharing Trowa soon...
"Really?" Trowa asked in a somewhat apprehensive manner.
"Hn." I answered with a nod.
"Yes," chorused Quatre.
With these two short words, the smile on our beautiful angel's face widens. And we could both sense the strong waves of contentment, relief and gratitude washing through Trowa. And for now, that was enough...
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QUATRE'S POV
For Trowa, both Heero and I will pretend. We will pretend that we are attracted to each other, so that we can both be with him... so that at least both of us can have a part of Trowa's heart; of Trowa's love...
Furthermore, even if our souls will be forced to remain in constant jealously and everlasting misery, at least by being together as a trio, we can make Trowa happy... we can grant him what he truly wishes for...
Heero and I will split and share this pain together; this pain of not being able to have the love of our heart fully as one's own... but having to share him...
For Trowa, we will pretend and smile. I will wear my mask of cheerfulness and Heero will wear the mask of stoic calmness that was his...
And maybe someday, my love for Trowa will finally spill over to include Heero, and I'll then be able to really love Heero too... Maybe...
But for now, all I can do is pray...
The End.
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Well, thanks you very much for following this little series of mine.
(laugh) Well, I hope that you've enjoyed reading the final part(s).
So which is your most prefer ending (If you has read all three)?
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Ice-Ari: And now, for the final moment of senselessness... and absolute OOCness.
Trowa: Good riddance that this fic has finally ended (points to Ice-Ari) do you hate me so much? Why do you always have to torture me so?
Ice-Ari: Well, that's because you are my favourite g-boy, so of course you will get the most personal attention. Mwahahaha!!!
Trowa: No!!!!! Hee-bear where are you? My love, please come and save me... this woman is crazy...
Heero (appears with light-sabre in hand and protectively stands in front of his one-eyed love): No one is allowed to hurt my Trowa. I'll kill you, stupid woman!
Ice-Ari: Now, now, Heero-dearie, if you don't be good, I'll stop writing 1x3 and give Trowa to Quatre instead.
Heero (kneels down and begs): NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Tro-chan is all mine....
A zero-system crazed Quatre (appears and whacked Heero on the head): No way!! He is mine. All mine, and I'm not sharing. (glares at author) Why in the world would I ever share my Tro-baby with him?!! (sneers at Heero).
Heero (also turned zero-system crazed): Q-man, You will DIE!!! And I do mean DIE!!!!!!!!!!!
Trowa (with a big smile): Yay!! I've the totally gorgeous Perfect Soldier and the extremely wealthy Desert Prince fighting over me. I feel so loved!!!
Ice-Ari: (backs away slowly) Errr..... (ran off from this maniacal trio and head off to look for someone else to torture).
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