Disclaimer: We don't own anything. Not a single, solitary, freaking thing. Are you happy now?

A/N: Hi folks! This is Tongue In Cheek Scribe, and it's my turn again! Legolas: Quick! Stop her before it's too late! Me: Get a grip, Lego. You're not even in this one...yet. Key word being "yet." Elladan: Southerngirl had me get sucker punched! What's with that? Legolas: Get used to it...they do that a lot. If they're not making you get sucker punched, then they're making you drop your drawers.

Chapter 3

Call Me Ishmael

Elrohir stood on the deserted beach, with his brother and new friend Sam laid out on the sand, watching an enormous wave rise up over the waterline, taking on a definite shape.

Looking down at his brother, Elrohir gave Elladan a few not-so-gentle nudges with his foot. "Wake up, 'Dan! We've got company!" he yelled.

"Oh, man..." Elladan moaned, pushing himself up to a sitting position on the sand, and rubbing his jaw. "What the hell hit me?"

"She did."

"She?" Elladan asked, looking down at Sam's unconscious form.

"You would have known that if you EVER listened to me."

"Since when are you the know-it-all-be-all-of-the-universe?"

"Since I knew she was a girl, and you didn't."

"WILL YOU TWO STOP BICKERING FOR ONE ERU-DAMN MOMENT?" came a thunderous, rather wet voice.

'Ro and 'Dan looked over toward the water. The giant wave had taken the form of a man's head, and the Wave Head was speaking.

"I am Ulmo, of the Valar, Lord of the Waters," the Wave Head said, pausing for effect. When there was no visible reaction from 'Dan or 'Ro, he rolled his watery eyes, and continued on. "It has been the decision of Manwe, King of the Valar that, since you two knuckleheads have never learned how to behave like proper Elves, you are to be imprisoned here in this world, far from your own home, until such a time that you prove yourselves capable of acting like mature Elves. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Sam sat up on the sand, rubbing her hands over her face. She looked up at the twins, then over at the water. Seeing the giant Wave Head, her eyes rolled back in her head and she flopped right back down on the sand again.

"Sheesh. We're not going to get anywhere with her if she keeps nodding off like that," Elladan said, looking down at the girl's prone figure.

"WILL YOU TWO PAY ATTENTION!" Ulmo bellowed, spitting sea foam all over the twins.

"Ugh! Wave spit...that's just nasty," Elrohir said, wiping his face with his sleeve.

"Yeah...say it, don't spray it, Waveboy," Elladan chimed in, wiping his face with his brother's sleeve.

"Knock it off, 'Dan!" Elrohir shouted, grabbing his arm back from his twin.

"THAT IS IT! I will not be ignored by a couple of dimwitted, scatterbrained, wet behind the pointed ears, Elflings! You had the chance to kiss my wet butt and maybe get me to change my mind and put in a good word for you, but you blew it! You are here until I'm good and ready to bring you back home!" Ulmo thundered. The Ulmo Wave Head exploded in a geyser of water.

"Now look what you did!" Elladan yelled, pushing Elrohir.

"Look what I did? Look what you did!" Elrohir shouted, pushing Elladan.

"Will you both please shut up? Is it possible for you two to go five minutes without yelling at each other?" Sam asked from the sand. She had missed the Wave Head's grand exit by about a nanosecond.

Hauling herself up from the sand, she stood looking up at the twins.

"You decked me," Elladan said, looking down at the top of Sam's head.

"You insulted me," Sam answered, glaring up at the tall elf. She squinted a little, seeing something a little odd about Elladan's ear.

Reaching up, she lifted his still wet hair to expose the pointed tip of his right ear.

"Holy mother of mac & cheese...your ears are pointed! Some kind of birth defect, huh?" she asked, sympathy in her voice.

"No...we told you that we were Elrond's sons. You knew who Elrond was, though you insisted that he was fictional." Elladan said. Turning to his brother, he added, "Ada would get a kick out that, you know...fictional! Ha!"

"Are you trying to tell me that you're Elves? Like the-One-Ring-to-bind-them-Middle-Earth-sleep-with-their-eyes-open Elves?" she asked, looking from one brother to the other.

"Are there any other kind?" asked Elrohir, pushing his hair behind his ears so Sam could see that they were pointed, too.

Sam had been more than willing to dismiss what she had thought she saw in the water as sunstroke before she saw the Elves' ears. Now she wondered if she had not imagined the giant Wave Head.

"Who was that in the water?" she asked the twins, feeling a little silly for even voicing the question.

"Ulmo,of the Valar, Lord of the Waters...I think. It seems we're being punished just for having a little fun back home...I guess we're stuck here."

Sam was having a bit of a hard time processing all of this information. She sat back down on the sand to try to sort things out.

From up the beach, a voice called, "Sam...SAMANTHA...are we going or not?"

Looking in that direction, Elrohir and Elladan saw another female jogging lightly over the sand in their direction, her long ponytail bobbing behind her.

"At least this one has proper hair for a female," Elladan whispered, elbowing his brother in the ribs.

"Yes...but it's purple," Elrohir replied, cocking an eyebrow at the advancing figure.

"Can't have everything," Elladan said simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Sam, are you okay?" the new girl asked her friend, seeing her sitting in front of the two strangers.

"Yeah...yeah...I'm fine. Crazy, maybe. Nuttier than Mr. Peanut, maybe. But fine," Sam answered not moving from her seat in the sand.

"I am Elrohir, and this is my brother, Elladan. 'Ro and 'Dan, for short."

"Call me Ishmael. Before you say a word, you should know that my parents had a twisted sense of humor - it's Misha for short," the new arrival said. Looking down at Sam, she asked, "Why are you still sitting there? We have to get back!"

"Misha...um...you better sit down. I need to tell you a few things about my new friends, here."

A/N: Back to you, southerngirl...or whoever's posting next!