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Summary:Someone finally learns how to cook and the outcome is disastrus. And i'm not just talking about the food.
A Day in the Kitchens
"Why, Legolas, why did you have to volunteer?" Aradel asked in a whiny voice as she watched him put the toddler in his highchair.
"Because I am a good citizen and like to help people. That's why." He replied edgily, wrapping a bib around the Elfling's neck.
He had been walking alone around the city and seen a mother, who's husband was at war, struggling with three young children. So, being the wonderful, polite prince that he is, offered to take care of the eldest one. Being only 450 this was not an easy task.
"Can't we just lock him in the dungeons and go to the gorge?" she asked jokingly leaning against the wall. He just stared at her in disbelief while little Saelbeth grabbed his hair and started to pull happily. "Oh, are you really that dumb, I was joking."
"I certainly hope so. You know, your terrible with children every time you come near he starts to cry." She raised an eyebrow and took a step towards them. Nothing happened so she walked casually up to the high chair and smiled down at the innocent little toddler.
He immediately started bawling hysterically, flailing his arms and legs wildly.
"Great look what you made him do." Legolas scolded her as she retreated back to lean against the wall rolling her eyes. "You could at least help a little."
"Where'd you learn to deal with little kids anyway?" she asked ignoring his plea for help.
"When Galathil was born and Ada was out I had to take care of him with Nacumirus. Of course he usually did the sitting around on the couch drinking wine and reading while I did the whole taking care of Galathil part." He grumbled trying to get little Saelbeth to eat his mashed up peas.
"So, where is your Ada again?"
"I told you about a million times, he's in Rivendale in a meeting with Lord Elrond." He replied wiping a small amount of mashed peas from his face, which by the way had a very dark look on it, with a cloth.
"Ah, yes. I like Rivendale it's very friendly. Not to mention Elladan and Elrohir are just hilarious. Once when I was visiting there-" she began but was cut off by Legolas standing and looking at her with a look that could kill an Oliphant.
"Aradel, I would love nothing more then to hear about your stupid, meaningless, adventures with those two twins but I have a small child in my care and I need to make sure he doesn't die. I asked you to help but you didn't listen now the least you could do is make me dinner so that I can tend to Saelbeth." With that he plopped back down in his seat and began feeding the infant again.
Behind his back Aradel stuck our her tongue at him for a brief moment then replied, "I can't cook."
"You're just making that up. Now go!" in his highly irritable and angry state she could find no way around it so she went to the kitchen with her feet dragging beneath her.
"Stupid stuck up Legolas, thinks he can boss me around." The disgruntled woman muttered to herself as she picked out some ingredients from the cupboards. "I told him I can't cook but does he ever listen to me? No."
From the random items she had picked she decided it best to make soup. After throwing all the ingredients into a large pot, lighting the fire, and mounting the pot above the fire and adding the chicken stock she put on the lid and let it sit for ten minutes. Then she checked to see if it was hot and looked anything like soup, which it did luckily, she uncertainly poured it into a bowl.
"It's ready, come and get it!" she called into the other room.
"Well I'm not, cover it and stick it somewhere. I'll eat it later." He called back. She narrowed her eyes and put a plate on top of the bowl to keep it warm and stuck it in the oven for insulation.
Satisfied and quite proud of herself she went to join him in the dinning room but found that he had gone to answer the door. She hadn't heard it because the kitchen is sound proofed and hermetically sealed so nothing that happened to be getting freshly slaughtered for dinner would get out or be heard.
After a long time he returned with no Saelbeth in his arms. "That was his mother." He explained seeing the curious look on her face. "What's for dinner?"
"Soup." She replied blandly pointing to the kitchen door. He went to retrieve it and came back to sit at the table. He removed the top and made a disgusted face.
"It tastes better then it smells. Don't you trust me?" she added innocently seeing his skeptic face and raised eyebrow.
"No." he muttered before dipping his spoon into the reddish brown liquid and sipping it. He made another face, put his spoon down, and pushed it as far away as possible from him.
"There's no need to look so revolted."
"Oh, yes there is. Have you even tried this, it tastes like something I scraped off of my boot." He said eyeing it as though it would jump up and attack him.
"So you taste things you scrape off your boot?" she wondered aloud.
"No."
"Then how do you know what it would taste like and therefor compare it to my masterpiece here." She informed him nodding her head towards the bowl.
He shook his head. "Tomorrow I'm teaching you to cook. Be up at sunrise, we're starting early."
"You know I won't be."
"Yes." He replied mock sadly. After he got up he edged his way around a twenty-foot parameter around the bowl into the kitchen to make himself something edible.
The next day
Aradel trudged down the stairs, lazily dragging her feet. Why did Legolas have to wake her up and the crack of dawn? They had all day. Then again he had always been like that, get things over with as quickly as possible. Later she would have to get him back, she would think of something while he was giving instructions.
Now he was dragging her by the wrist down the hall to the kitchens to make sure she didn't make a break for it through the entrance they had to pass. After he shoved her roughly through the kitchen doors and closed them, making sure they were locked securely, took his position just in front of the fireplace.
"I'm not going to try and escape you know." She told him bluntly. "I do want to learn how to cook."
"Good I believe you. But I'm still not unlocking the doors, you've fooled me to many times for me to do that." He said giving her a determined look. "Now, shut up and pay attention."
She sighed and looked annoyed but listened all the same. "Good, now first we have to go over safety rules and regulations." From there he launched into a long, tedious lecture about washing your hands before you handle any food, making sure your hair is tied back so it doesn't get in the food, and making sure that when you're around the flame you don't wear baggy clothes, like hers, and so on and so forth.
When he was finally finished and Aradel's glazed eyes came back into focus informed her that today they were going to make a less disgusting soup.
"I believe we have some chicken stock in the refrigerator. Go get it and pour it into a large pot, we keep them in the cupboard just beside the refrigerator." So reluctantly Aradel trudged over to the rectangular, stone box that lay against the wall farthest from the door and opened the aluminum door with a creek from the hinges. There was a compartment at the back that held dry ice frozen ever three days and the cold air worked its way in through slits carved into the stone.
When she got that out and placed in on the counter, receiving reproachful looks from Legolas, she crouched down and opened the cupboard pulling out a large pot, which she hung from the spit above the fireplace. She then lit the fire beneath the pot and dumped the stock into it.
"Now get the vegetables and chop them into half inch cubes." Legolas instructed sternly.
She sneered but did as he said taking the kitchen knife from its block and sweeping it through the air coincidentally close to the back of his head. Indignantly she started to chop carrots, celery, onions, and some tyme. Before she was finished she had mutilated an onion, destroyed the tyme, done a horrible job with the celery and sent the carrot flying halfway across the room whilst trying to peel it.
While she was doing that Legolas was checking the fire.
"You didn't put enough wood in." he told her looking down at the glowing embers that were the only remains of the fire. "It's burnt out."
She glanced over his way. "That's all the wood that was there. The rest must be outside because I sure don't know where it is."
He sighed and took the knife from her cramped hands. "I'll continue with this, since you seem to have gotten the knack for it, you go and get some more wood. But make absolutely sure you get the oak wood and not the willow wood. Got it."
She nodded half-heatedly and made for the door. As she got outside in the cool crisp air, rounded the corner and walked a ways from the building she spotted a woodpile stacked like a poorly constructed pyramid. As she was about to bend down the pick a couple of logs up a swift movement caught her eye. With a second look she saw it was a raccoon. Smiling she stepped over the pile and put her hand out for it to sniff.
Instead of sniffing her hand it bit it. Or almost did but her reflexes were to quick and she pulled away. She shooed it away and proceeded to narrow her eyes while she picked up five pieces of wood and violently started to kick one that fell out of her arms.
Once she walked into the kitchen again to see Legolas waiting impatiently, with his arms crossed and his foot tapping the stone floor. Upon seeing him Aradel rolled her eyes and told him, "Would you please stop acting like my mother."
His eyes snapped into attention and he stopped tapping his foot. "OK, what was her name again?" he asked casually.
"That is the saddest attempt at trying to get me to tell you something that you have yet to attempt." She replied.
"Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Put the wood on the fire and light it, you'd better put all of it on if we want this done by midday." He said carefully watching her.
She bent down and placed the wood on the white ash and black coal then reached for the rock and flint that were previously set aside. When she did, though, she knocked over a pitcher of water. It went unnoticed by Legolas so she replaced it and went on with her business. She clashed them together once, twice, thrice and a spark ignited the wood.
What she hadn't anticipated was that the supposed water was in actuality oil for the oven, which required a bigger flame. So when the flame ignited, it more exploded, with a surprisingly loud "poof". The blonde haired elf whipped around and whimpered in surprise.
"What did you do?!" he yelled over the crackling of the flame.
"I like the valar forsaken wood, just like you told me to!" she cried stumbling back and falling backwards.
"Ai, Elebereth." He muttered while he ran to get a bucket of water from the other side of the room. He ran back and threw the water on the fire but it only made a flare. And that flare caught on the oil that had dripped from the pitcher before hand. From there the fire spread all over the counter. Smoke filled the room and wafted towards the door.
"Oh, my god, your father is going to kill you!" Aradel said with wide eyes.
"If I go down I'm bringing you with me!" he screamed back. The prince of Mirkwood was starting to panic just a little bit. Suddenly Aradel shot up ran to get some water and came back with two buckets in each hand. She handed one to Legolas and on the count of three they both threw and it landed on the majority of the flame putting most of it out. After two more runs the fire was out and the two friends slumped down against the wall.
"Do you think he'll notice?" Legolas asked dryly, looking at the charred countertop.
"Looks like someone's soaking up some of my sarcastic humour." She replied bluntly. "We'd better turn ourselves in, maybe we'll get off a little easier if we show some responsibility."
So gravely, as if marching to their own funerals, they went to Thranduil's study. But when they arrived he wasn't there so thinking he must be in the library catching up on some reading they checked there. He wasn't there either. On their way to the gardens where Thranduil might have taken a book to read they encountered Nacumirus. He told them that the Elven King was in the kitchen preparing lunch for himself. Every once and while he would make something himself other then have servants do it just to make sure he could still cook. At that they groaned in union and raced to catch him hopefully before he reached the kitchen.
When they burst through the door they found Thranduil in the middle staring at the countertop with wide eyes. Hearing the two come in he turned slowly to face his son. "Legolas, did you do this?" he asked slowly and calmly.
"Ada, I can explain. You see-" He began but was interrupted by his father's hand being put up to stop him.
"No explanation is needed." A smile broke on his face. "It's brilliant, I love it!"
They stared at him in disbelief. He wasn't furious, he wasn't angry. In fact he seemed ecstatic. This was the luckiest day ever.
"After all the white and silver and bright colours we have put into the stone walls of this palace a black kitchen would be a nice change." He glanced around fondly. "Smooth this side out and you can start on the other tomorrow. For you now you both will get a reward for your charity." He grinned happily at the two of them.
Aradel and Legolas exchanged glances, smiled widely, and nodded in agreement. And they thought they would be punished severely, grounded, or even put in the dungeons. And now they were getting rewarded with Valar knows what. Thranduil couldn't have picked a better day to go crazy in their opinion.
The End
A/N: Pretty short one I guess. By the way most of my stories concerning Legolas depict him lazing about doing nothing. This is when he's finished all his princing chores and such, he does have them I just don't tell about them because i have no idea what princes do. Understood? Understood. Excellent so no more complaining about that. Next one should be up in about five minutes, hope i can wait all that long. Nehoo, bye-bye!:D
Summary:Someone finally learns how to cook and the outcome is disastrus. And i'm not just talking about the food.
A Day in the Kitchens
"Why, Legolas, why did you have to volunteer?" Aradel asked in a whiny voice as she watched him put the toddler in his highchair.
"Because I am a good citizen and like to help people. That's why." He replied edgily, wrapping a bib around the Elfling's neck.
He had been walking alone around the city and seen a mother, who's husband was at war, struggling with three young children. So, being the wonderful, polite prince that he is, offered to take care of the eldest one. Being only 450 this was not an easy task.
"Can't we just lock him in the dungeons and go to the gorge?" she asked jokingly leaning against the wall. He just stared at her in disbelief while little Saelbeth grabbed his hair and started to pull happily. "Oh, are you really that dumb, I was joking."
"I certainly hope so. You know, your terrible with children every time you come near he starts to cry." She raised an eyebrow and took a step towards them. Nothing happened so she walked casually up to the high chair and smiled down at the innocent little toddler.
He immediately started bawling hysterically, flailing his arms and legs wildly.
"Great look what you made him do." Legolas scolded her as she retreated back to lean against the wall rolling her eyes. "You could at least help a little."
"Where'd you learn to deal with little kids anyway?" she asked ignoring his plea for help.
"When Galathil was born and Ada was out I had to take care of him with Nacumirus. Of course he usually did the sitting around on the couch drinking wine and reading while I did the whole taking care of Galathil part." He grumbled trying to get little Saelbeth to eat his mashed up peas.
"So, where is your Ada again?"
"I told you about a million times, he's in Rivendale in a meeting with Lord Elrond." He replied wiping a small amount of mashed peas from his face, which by the way had a very dark look on it, with a cloth.
"Ah, yes. I like Rivendale it's very friendly. Not to mention Elladan and Elrohir are just hilarious. Once when I was visiting there-" she began but was cut off by Legolas standing and looking at her with a look that could kill an Oliphant.
"Aradel, I would love nothing more then to hear about your stupid, meaningless, adventures with those two twins but I have a small child in my care and I need to make sure he doesn't die. I asked you to help but you didn't listen now the least you could do is make me dinner so that I can tend to Saelbeth." With that he plopped back down in his seat and began feeding the infant again.
Behind his back Aradel stuck our her tongue at him for a brief moment then replied, "I can't cook."
"You're just making that up. Now go!" in his highly irritable and angry state she could find no way around it so she went to the kitchen with her feet dragging beneath her.
"Stupid stuck up Legolas, thinks he can boss me around." The disgruntled woman muttered to herself as she picked out some ingredients from the cupboards. "I told him I can't cook but does he ever listen to me? No."
From the random items she had picked she decided it best to make soup. After throwing all the ingredients into a large pot, lighting the fire, and mounting the pot above the fire and adding the chicken stock she put on the lid and let it sit for ten minutes. Then she checked to see if it was hot and looked anything like soup, which it did luckily, she uncertainly poured it into a bowl.
"It's ready, come and get it!" she called into the other room.
"Well I'm not, cover it and stick it somewhere. I'll eat it later." He called back. She narrowed her eyes and put a plate on top of the bowl to keep it warm and stuck it in the oven for insulation.
Satisfied and quite proud of herself she went to join him in the dinning room but found that he had gone to answer the door. She hadn't heard it because the kitchen is sound proofed and hermetically sealed so nothing that happened to be getting freshly slaughtered for dinner would get out or be heard.
After a long time he returned with no Saelbeth in his arms. "That was his mother." He explained seeing the curious look on her face. "What's for dinner?"
"Soup." She replied blandly pointing to the kitchen door. He went to retrieve it and came back to sit at the table. He removed the top and made a disgusted face.
"It tastes better then it smells. Don't you trust me?" she added innocently seeing his skeptic face and raised eyebrow.
"No." he muttered before dipping his spoon into the reddish brown liquid and sipping it. He made another face, put his spoon down, and pushed it as far away as possible from him.
"There's no need to look so revolted."
"Oh, yes there is. Have you even tried this, it tastes like something I scraped off of my boot." He said eyeing it as though it would jump up and attack him.
"So you taste things you scrape off your boot?" she wondered aloud.
"No."
"Then how do you know what it would taste like and therefor compare it to my masterpiece here." She informed him nodding her head towards the bowl.
He shook his head. "Tomorrow I'm teaching you to cook. Be up at sunrise, we're starting early."
"You know I won't be."
"Yes." He replied mock sadly. After he got up he edged his way around a twenty-foot parameter around the bowl into the kitchen to make himself something edible.
The next day
Aradel trudged down the stairs, lazily dragging her feet. Why did Legolas have to wake her up and the crack of dawn? They had all day. Then again he had always been like that, get things over with as quickly as possible. Later she would have to get him back, she would think of something while he was giving instructions.
Now he was dragging her by the wrist down the hall to the kitchens to make sure she didn't make a break for it through the entrance they had to pass. After he shoved her roughly through the kitchen doors and closed them, making sure they were locked securely, took his position just in front of the fireplace.
"I'm not going to try and escape you know." She told him bluntly. "I do want to learn how to cook."
"Good I believe you. But I'm still not unlocking the doors, you've fooled me to many times for me to do that." He said giving her a determined look. "Now, shut up and pay attention."
She sighed and looked annoyed but listened all the same. "Good, now first we have to go over safety rules and regulations." From there he launched into a long, tedious lecture about washing your hands before you handle any food, making sure your hair is tied back so it doesn't get in the food, and making sure that when you're around the flame you don't wear baggy clothes, like hers, and so on and so forth.
When he was finally finished and Aradel's glazed eyes came back into focus informed her that today they were going to make a less disgusting soup.
"I believe we have some chicken stock in the refrigerator. Go get it and pour it into a large pot, we keep them in the cupboard just beside the refrigerator." So reluctantly Aradel trudged over to the rectangular, stone box that lay against the wall farthest from the door and opened the aluminum door with a creek from the hinges. There was a compartment at the back that held dry ice frozen ever three days and the cold air worked its way in through slits carved into the stone.
When she got that out and placed in on the counter, receiving reproachful looks from Legolas, she crouched down and opened the cupboard pulling out a large pot, which she hung from the spit above the fireplace. She then lit the fire beneath the pot and dumped the stock into it.
"Now get the vegetables and chop them into half inch cubes." Legolas instructed sternly.
She sneered but did as he said taking the kitchen knife from its block and sweeping it through the air coincidentally close to the back of his head. Indignantly she started to chop carrots, celery, onions, and some tyme. Before she was finished she had mutilated an onion, destroyed the tyme, done a horrible job with the celery and sent the carrot flying halfway across the room whilst trying to peel it.
While she was doing that Legolas was checking the fire.
"You didn't put enough wood in." he told her looking down at the glowing embers that were the only remains of the fire. "It's burnt out."
She glanced over his way. "That's all the wood that was there. The rest must be outside because I sure don't know where it is."
He sighed and took the knife from her cramped hands. "I'll continue with this, since you seem to have gotten the knack for it, you go and get some more wood. But make absolutely sure you get the oak wood and not the willow wood. Got it."
She nodded half-heatedly and made for the door. As she got outside in the cool crisp air, rounded the corner and walked a ways from the building she spotted a woodpile stacked like a poorly constructed pyramid. As she was about to bend down the pick a couple of logs up a swift movement caught her eye. With a second look she saw it was a raccoon. Smiling she stepped over the pile and put her hand out for it to sniff.
Instead of sniffing her hand it bit it. Or almost did but her reflexes were to quick and she pulled away. She shooed it away and proceeded to narrow her eyes while she picked up five pieces of wood and violently started to kick one that fell out of her arms.
Once she walked into the kitchen again to see Legolas waiting impatiently, with his arms crossed and his foot tapping the stone floor. Upon seeing him Aradel rolled her eyes and told him, "Would you please stop acting like my mother."
His eyes snapped into attention and he stopped tapping his foot. "OK, what was her name again?" he asked casually.
"That is the saddest attempt at trying to get me to tell you something that you have yet to attempt." She replied.
"Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Put the wood on the fire and light it, you'd better put all of it on if we want this done by midday." He said carefully watching her.
She bent down and placed the wood on the white ash and black coal then reached for the rock and flint that were previously set aside. When she did, though, she knocked over a pitcher of water. It went unnoticed by Legolas so she replaced it and went on with her business. She clashed them together once, twice, thrice and a spark ignited the wood.
What she hadn't anticipated was that the supposed water was in actuality oil for the oven, which required a bigger flame. So when the flame ignited, it more exploded, with a surprisingly loud "poof". The blonde haired elf whipped around and whimpered in surprise.
"What did you do?!" he yelled over the crackling of the flame.
"I like the valar forsaken wood, just like you told me to!" she cried stumbling back and falling backwards.
"Ai, Elebereth." He muttered while he ran to get a bucket of water from the other side of the room. He ran back and threw the water on the fire but it only made a flare. And that flare caught on the oil that had dripped from the pitcher before hand. From there the fire spread all over the counter. Smoke filled the room and wafted towards the door.
"Oh, my god, your father is going to kill you!" Aradel said with wide eyes.
"If I go down I'm bringing you with me!" he screamed back. The prince of Mirkwood was starting to panic just a little bit. Suddenly Aradel shot up ran to get some water and came back with two buckets in each hand. She handed one to Legolas and on the count of three they both threw and it landed on the majority of the flame putting most of it out. After two more runs the fire was out and the two friends slumped down against the wall.
"Do you think he'll notice?" Legolas asked dryly, looking at the charred countertop.
"Looks like someone's soaking up some of my sarcastic humour." She replied bluntly. "We'd better turn ourselves in, maybe we'll get off a little easier if we show some responsibility."
So gravely, as if marching to their own funerals, they went to Thranduil's study. But when they arrived he wasn't there so thinking he must be in the library catching up on some reading they checked there. He wasn't there either. On their way to the gardens where Thranduil might have taken a book to read they encountered Nacumirus. He told them that the Elven King was in the kitchen preparing lunch for himself. Every once and while he would make something himself other then have servants do it just to make sure he could still cook. At that they groaned in union and raced to catch him hopefully before he reached the kitchen.
When they burst through the door they found Thranduil in the middle staring at the countertop with wide eyes. Hearing the two come in he turned slowly to face his son. "Legolas, did you do this?" he asked slowly and calmly.
"Ada, I can explain. You see-" He began but was interrupted by his father's hand being put up to stop him.
"No explanation is needed." A smile broke on his face. "It's brilliant, I love it!"
They stared at him in disbelief. He wasn't furious, he wasn't angry. In fact he seemed ecstatic. This was the luckiest day ever.
"After all the white and silver and bright colours we have put into the stone walls of this palace a black kitchen would be a nice change." He glanced around fondly. "Smooth this side out and you can start on the other tomorrow. For you now you both will get a reward for your charity." He grinned happily at the two of them.
Aradel and Legolas exchanged glances, smiled widely, and nodded in agreement. And they thought they would be punished severely, grounded, or even put in the dungeons. And now they were getting rewarded with Valar knows what. Thranduil couldn't have picked a better day to go crazy in their opinion.
The End
A/N: Pretty short one I guess. By the way most of my stories concerning Legolas depict him lazing about doing nothing. This is when he's finished all his princing chores and such, he does have them I just don't tell about them because i have no idea what princes do. Understood? Understood. Excellent so no more complaining about that. Next one should be up in about five minutes, hope i can wait all that long. Nehoo, bye-bye!:D