Chapter 4: Somebody To Love
Battle 1: Doguola Pass
There were some Nanten jerks standing guard here so Ramza's party had to go through them! Agrias just mopped them up! They would have stolen the Oberisks, but Blake already had a Holy Lance. What a short battle... on to Bervenia!
Battle 2: Bervenia Free City
Meliadoul's here for some reason... oh yeah! To kill Ramza! She wanted revenge, but Ramza tried (and failed) to convince her that Vormav did it. Agrias took care of the guards while Theresa ripped off the Defender and Chantage. She loves the smell of Chantage! Then they chased Meliadoul off and arrived at the river.
Battle 3: Finath River
Chocobos!! One Red Chocobo! One was Black, the rest were Yellow. No Uribo? Well, they already had one. Ramza forgot to equip Secret Hunt after the last battle, he had Maintenance instead. Oh well, the best thing a Red Chocobo can give is a Barrette. They had Ribbons now. The place got mopped up quickly.
Battle 4: Church Outside Zeltennia
After meeting Delita again, Ramza confronted Zalmo again! Delita cleaned up down below (he didn't have Lightning Stab, what the hell?) Agrias Lightning Stabbed Zalmo from the ground. Jacob jumped on the roof and shot Zalmo. Eva flew up and whacked him with her cloth. Delita killed an Oracle. Zalmo revived the Oracle. Ramza killed Zalmo. Delita and Ramza talked. Ramza left. Balmafula got sent away.
Battle 5: Bed Desert
Balk was talking about something. Ramza wanted to know what. Balk poisoned everyone! Ramza's party cleaned up the poison and killed Balk's friends. Luckily, they had stuff that blocked Snipe. (Balk is an idiot! Anyone who has Mustadio KNOWS what blocks Snipe! There, I shall change Balk's Job to "Idiot"!) Theresa stole the Blaze Gun from Balk (along with all his other stuff) and then they finally killed him. Mustadio wondered what the hell was going on... the Blaze Gun is Ice!? Oh well, he equipped it and duplicated it and whatever else he needed to do with it. They left for Bethla Garrison...
Battle 6: South Wall of Bethla Garrison
Ramza fought this battle alone! He was a Mediator. First, he Screamed. Then some enemies moved. Then Ramza Screamed again. More enemies moved. Ramza invited the Ninja. The Ninja injured the Thief. The Archers injured the Ninja. Ramza cured the Ninja with Wish. The Ninja quickly died, but Ramza invited an Archer that shot down at the Knights. Ramza accidently put himself to Sleep with Mimic Daravon!! He was putting a Knight to Sleep, but he was also in the area!! Another Knight came and woke Ramza up with an attack. (Shield Break..? Yeah, Ramza had no Shield, so it did damage.) Ah, now they went to open the floodgate!
Battle 7: In Front Of Bethla Garrison's Sluice
Agrias, Heather, Rafa, and Eva came to this battle. Eva danced while Archers missed her wth arrows. Agrias and Rafa climbed towards the Wizards. Heather put up Protect and Shell with Kiyomori. A Wizard knew Fire 3!! That loser! Kill him! Agrias and Rafa killed him! Those Knights won't move! Not even while Charmed! After everyone was killed (and crystallized), Ramza pulled the levers. Oh no! He washed Heather and Eva away 'cause they were standing right in front of the gate! Damn you, Ramza!! Well, they entered the fortress and saved Cid Orlandu! And.. Cid decided to... kill himself!! ...no.. that was some Bomb someplace... Cid joined Ramza's party!! On to the mountains!
Intermission?: Zarghidas Trade City
Ramza bought a flower from Aeris.
Battle 8: Germinas Peak
Hey! Bandits! Ramza lowered Rafa's Brave by Threatening her. (there's a reason, but the poor girl wouldn't quit crying...) Eva danced as usual. When Rafa quit crying, she climbed the mountain and dug up the Vanish Mantle! Then they finished off these drug dealers! Ramza had one Invited, but he sent him to Zarghidas to clean up the slums.
And this was Orlandu's debut!
Battle 9: Poeskas Lake
More Undead jerks!? Mustadio came in and petrified them while Orlandu cleaned up the leftovers. What a joke battle. Move on to the hard battles.
Battle 10/11/12: Limberry Castle
They were alone... ? Alone until Celia started talking like a slut. Ramza stepped up and called for Celia to sluttily cast her slutty Ultima. Ramza was surprised when she didn't screw up by saying "Brush off vanity and shot reality! SLUTIMA!!" But she was very close to it 'cause she's a slut. Orlandu was stopped for this fight due to Lede's Slut Bracelet or whatever. Ramza learned Slutima! ...oh? That's Ultima! Oh yeah, of course... they went inside...
Elmdor and his sluts were waiting. Agrias, Ramza, Eva, Heather, and Theresa were against him. Agrias was locked on to the sluts and their true forms, the Slutima Demons! After the sluts were finished off, Theresa was pulling on Elmdor's stuff with all her strength, but it wouldn't come off! (Ugh... Theresa.. how could you..? What do you see in him?) So, Ramza Threatened Elmdor while Eva danced Slow Dance to lower hs Speed. Theresa finally stole the Genji Shield. Then came the Masamune. Heather giggled with happiness at the sight of the sword until Elmdor came and Kikuimuchi'd her to hell and back. (the "back" is for the Chantage!) While Elmdor prepared to Teleport 2 on top of Heather, Theresa came and stole his Genji Armor. Eva was knocked out next, but then she got up and started dancing again. Elmdor was teleporting around like an idiot. (..change Elmdor's Job to Idiot as well..) Theresa stole the Genji Helmet! After much Yelling, dancing, and teleporting, she finally stole the Genji Gauntlet and finished Elmdor off. Ramza said "Elmdor! Get back here! You're too gay to function!!"
(Save, yes dammit!! I will save!!)
Ramza's party went downstairs were it smelled like rotting corpses and decayed... chicken...? That can't be right... well, that water smelled like beer. And wine. And crap. ...damn. Meliadoul showed up in time for the nice special effects show of Elmdor transforming into Zalera! She saw that Ramza was right and fought as a Guest. Zalera summoned some Skeletons and Knights from Hell and started the battle! This battle was over in a few seconds with Orlandu. He cleaned them up! But Mustadio made some nice statues for his collection first. ...too bad he couldn't reach those Hell Knights... (What!? Malak was here!? ...no, Knights from Hell. Oh.. phew, Malak is too gay to function!)
(Now, time to apply the Genji Gear and duplicate the Masamune. Done. Wanna do quests yet? No. Kill Dycedarg first. Fine... oh, I'll take Meliadoul's stuff and kick her out on her sexy ass!)
Battle 13: Igros Castle
Zalbag attackedDycedarg! Finally! Someone stood up to that freak! This is easy... all they had to do was... what!? Defeat Dycedarg's Elder Brother!? Since they had NO IDEA who the hell that was, they settled for defeating Dycedarg. Orlandu broke Dycedarg's sword with Hellcry Punch. Agrias Lightning Stabbed some Knights, then Ramza Ultima'd them. Theresa wanted to get up there, but it was too late. They had defeated Dycedarg (Zalbag did! Cool!) Dycedarg sent Zalbag to Hell and turned into Adramelk! Ramza Ultima'd him, then Orlandu came and Night Sworded him. Theresa finished him off with her swords. End of the Beoulves... almost.
Battle 14/15/16: Murond Holy Place
Geomancers!! And Mediators!! Jacob and Eva can attack the Mediators... Theresa wants to steal stuff! Ramza invited a Geomancer and Heather powered him up with her new Masamune! She loves that thing! (Check her on AutoBattle! She protects Cloud like no one else!) Theresa charmed the Priest. The other Geomancer cancelled the charm. Eva killed a Mediator by throwing a weapon. (Yes, she had Throw!) Ramza invited the Priest, Theresa killed the Summoner. Heather killed the Geomancer. The Guest Geomancer killed the other Mediator. Let's go inside...
Vormav's here!? Dammit! Meliadoul would talk here.. but her sexy ass was fired, remember? Vormav broke Ramza's hat!! That jerk is too gay to function! Same to Rofel and Kletian! Orlandu kicks their asses with Agrias's help! Take that, freaks!
Some kind of dark room... that's where they ended up now... Zalbag!! Wait, he's an enemy... with Speed Save!? What the hell!? Ah, more Slutima Demons and an Archaic Demon.. (can't insult these guys, too hard... what would work... FartCake... Arch-Cake... Archie..?) The girls tortured the demons after they nearly killed Ramza. They guarded Ramza with their infinite Chantage'd lives. Theresa sliced Zalbag in two wth her swords.
(Yeah, that's what I call MEAN GIRLS! Ramza's got some MEAN GIRLS in his party!)
Final Battles: Untouched, Ramza is a chicken-wuss
Ramza's party has not yet entered the final battles. They are now training a new ally. (Clue: he started at Level 1!)
They did a bunch of stuff while training for the final battles.
They went to Goland to save the Holy Dragon.
They picked up Worker 8 (renamed "PUGGY!!")
PUGGY!! helped Rafa collect the Gold Eschutcheon and Javelin II.
Reis the Holy Dragon turned into Reis the Dragoner.
Fired Agrias to make room for Beowulf and Reis. Also dropped some monsters. Poor Agrias... don't worry, everyone have her a hug (and a kiss) before she left. Orlandu's way stronger, but watching Agrias's sexy ass leave is kind of sad...
They protecting Cloud from the thieves and asked him to join.
Mustadio found Cloud's Materia Blade.
Heather taught everyone Blade Grasp, but some aren't very good at it due to their low Brave. You hear me, Rafa?
Reaped the hell out of Deep Dungeon and found the important stuff. Screw the Elixirs!
Defeated Elidibs and Drake learned Zodiac!
Now Eva's a Calculator and she's doing propositions to gain JP to learn the desired skills.
And they're training Cloud (very difficult) to an appropriate Level! Hey, maybe Cloud can one day take out Altima!
And now...
This is Jim Houston and Craig Simpson, goodbye.
To Be Continued....
....they WILL fight those battles! And why's Cloud so weak!?
Oh... and I really do have some mean girls in my party!