Battles At Orbonne Monastery: Final Battles

Ramza, Theresa, Kalan, Jacob, and Heather entered the Orbonne Monastery first. Now there's a whole truckload of jerks. After Rofel leaves, Kalan went and broke the charging Archer's Yoichi Bow and killed the Archer. Ramza's not mad 'cause he's got a Yoichi Bow and a Perseus Bow from Deep Dungeon! Then a Monk named Indy came and Earth Slash'd Theresa! What power.... not. Theresa ripped off his Black Costume. Damn, Theresa! He's not even your type! Ramza invites Loggins, the other Monk.A Knight tried stupidly using Elemental on Heather, but he sucked. Jacob makes Monk Pie with Wave Fist. Kalan was on a roll breaking stuff on a Knight. Poor Jacob... his break skills were inferior to Kalan's. Theresa also nabbed an Elf Mantle from another Knight. A Knight named Eric joined! He's the Elemental Man! Jacob kills a Knight! Then another Knight stepped. (It's Blake! He's back and he's suddenly an Aquarius! Ramza fired him when he fired Agrias.) Blake tried break Loggins's head! He fights cheap! Monks don't wear hats! And Eric paralyzed Blake with Kamaitachi! Then Jacob broke Blake's armor and kills Blake! Yes! Jacob finally broke something! Well, it was due to the "Don't Act" and a good Zodiac Sign match. The odds were 88 and the attack did 608 damage!! Now they head into the next area and met Rofel and his posse.

Rofel had Save The Queen! But his Mighty Sword was useless! Ramza's party remembered the fight against Meliadoul and equipped Maintenance. Plus, Ramza remembered Rofel breaking his Thief Hat before, so he was prepared now. In addition to Reis and Theresa, Ramza brought PUGGY!! and Virus the Byblos. Monsters are immune to Mighty Sword and PUGGY!! has Auto-Innocent, making him immune to All-Magic. PUGGY!! disposed of Crawford the Wizard! What low HP he had! Rofel confused Ramza!! Oh crap!! Luckily, Virus was nearby and he Shock'd Ramza to cancel it and since Virus hadn't taken any damage yet, Shock did 0 damage to Ramza, but it still cancelled the confusion! Rofel is a freak! (...change Rofel's Job to Freak...) PUGGY!! disposed of the other Wizard! Theresa ripped a Summoner's Feather Mantle off! She then said "Ooh, soft!" PUGGY!! disposed of a Summoner! Reis knocked out the Time Mage! Theresa threw a Yagyu Darkness into the other Summoner's head! Killed on impact! He was weakened by PUGGY!!'s dispose. And PUGGY!! knocked Rofel out the window with Dispose! (Gotta love Dispose, right?)

The party descended into Hell... or Murond Death City. Kletian was there to greet them. Ramza was assisted by Kalan, Theresa, Heather, and Rafa. And... oooh, there's Samurais in here! Heather can show off to them! (But they'll probably wanna just grab her ass...) Ramza caught a Time Mage that came Jumping down on him! Heather then came Jumping down on a Ninja! Stupid Kletian! Flying around like a... big, gay-looking bird! I thought he was mad when we killed his "honey" Rofel! Dawson the Time Mage (the one that Ramza caught) joined the party! After Ramza Solutioning Kletian's Faith and Theresa Charming the Ninja and other Time Mage, Goodman the Samurai joined! Oh, and Kletian killed Dawson, but the Solutions weakened the power of Holy. And... wow! Kletian knew Dark Holy!? Well, Goodman finished Kletian off with Koutetsu!

And now... what!? Balk!? How'd he get here!? Oh well... his allies were... huh!? Dragon-types!? He likes Pokemon!? Wait... no! They were Reis-type Dragons! So Reis came in to take 'em over! And Mustadio grabbed his Blast Gun and Gold Escutcheon and challenged Balk to a duel! A No Snipe duel 'cause they both had Thief Hats! Theresa stole Balk's Blast Gun! The duel was over! Balk was stuck with no weapon! ...Theresa could've sworn she saw him trying to Counter... oh, and Reis tamed a Tiamat! That very Tiamat is the one that made TFB! (Tiamat Fried Balk) And the party moved on...

Vormav greeted them in the Graveyard of Airships... right before he turned into Hashmalum! This time, PUGGY!! came back with Virus. Striker and Theresa showed up as well. After a battle of Spells and Quakes, PUGGY!! waltzed up and thumper Hashmalum and knocked him down. (PUGGY!! was immune to the Spells and Quakes.) Hashmalum sacrificed himself to revive Ajora! Ajora was back!! ..and the party received Ragnarok.

The final battle started with Eva the Oracle beefing up defenses with some White Magic. Ramza Yelled and Screamed. Theresa beat the hell out of the Slutima Demons. (They have such low HP...) With everyone's Speed up, Theresa started shoving things up Altima's ass. They even kept Alma alive! Cool! And they even refreshed Alma's MP with Chakra. (Tip: It's fun using Aspel/SpellAbsorb on Altima!) A few times Altima used Grand Cross on Beowulf, but that was cancelled by Esuna! And DeathSpell 2... which has a wierd name by the way... supposed to be "DeSpell" or "Dispel", maybe? Beowulf drained Altima's HP a bit, then Theresa finished it off!

Altima transformed!! Holy crap! It's a giant skeleton thing!! But! It didn't even get a chance to move! Eva started up a Holy, Beowulf Aspel'd and Drain'd it, Heather slashed it, Theresa shoved Spell Edge up its ass, (she didn't get to throw Ragnarok...), Ramza shot the Blast Gun, and.................................and.................................and..........................what? What else is there?............................oh! Yes, of course! ALMA LEARNED ULTIMA!!! SHE USED IT ON ALTIMA!! Then Heather finished it off after Holy hit its mark!

Congratulations! This Recap Is Complete!

War Trophies: PlayStation2, XBox, GameCube, A Can of Lard, 1 Gil

Holy took 11 turns to cast, Altima was going to act in 12 turns. In the previous battle, Heaven's Cloud actually put the SLOW onto Altima. And I can't believe Alma learned Ultima! And Altima's "Face Up" in the second round was handy. Ultima, Drain, and Holy did massive damage! And... Alma actually learned Ultima in the first round. Beowulf rules that battle! ......Beowulf rules ANY battle! Especially when he's with Orlandu! But, I didn't take Orlandu... I wanted a challenge.... but with the MEAN GIRLS, it wasn't too much harder! Grand Cross just confused Beowulf and he tried to do something to Eva, but the Ribbon blocked it.

Tip: If you keep Alma alive, use Yell, Masamune, Kiyomori, and MP-restoring stuff to have a better fight! Alma WILL use MBarrier on others! She even started charging it when Theresa was defeated 'cause she knew that Theresa was going to get up soon with her Chantage.

And Slutima Demons DO have low HP!

And now....

THIS IS THE END!!

Super Tip: Duplicate... Make sure the Shop has stuff that the person can equip like to duplicate the Masamune, equip Masamune and put a weaker sword from the shop in the other hand! Then do Best Fit and leaving the Fitting Room. You should have two Masamunes!

Bonus: Cloud can wear Woman's Ribbons!! (Cachusha, Barette, Ribbon) ...but no Perfume or Bags...