A/N-SouthernGirl here again. Haldir is being much more cooperative. Haldir: Like I had a choice. SG: Its amazing what a two ton bus can do to stubbornness. Haldir: You forgot to mention the shackles. SG: They don't need to know everything.
Disclaimer: My son Logan sends out a great big raspberry to all lawyers who even think about suing his mom.
He Strikes Fear
While Legolas and Misha were getting the Dragon Lady all settled in and Jessie and the others were doing whatever it was they were doing another group were having problems.
"My legs hurt. My ass hurts. My arms hurt. My face hurts. Even my hair hurts. Can someone please tell me how my hair can hurt?"Sam complained for the billionth time.
Dan and 'Ro just looked at one another and urged their horses ahead of her. Haldir clenched his jaw and glowered at Sam. "Why did you come along ?"
"Misha told me to. I have my positive attributes you know."
"Like what?" Haldir growled.
Sam was now officially offended. How dare the elf even think that she couldn't do anything. "I can do back handsprings until I run out of room. I make a mean margarita. I can unwrap a starburst with only my tongue. I can kick some serious ass. And I'm cute. You have to have a cuteness factor when going up against powerful evil."
"You can unwrap a starburst wrapper with only your tongue?" Elladan questioned, his mouth agape.
Sam just growled. Haldir, on the other hand, was not very impressed. "Do you even know why we're together ?"
"No. I was drunk at the time. I don't know why you even still pursue me. I'm not even interested."
"Oh really ?"
"Really."
Sam stuck her nose up in the air and continued to ride her horse clumsily across the rocky terrain. She failed to notice the large black gates that were coming into view. Elrohir was the one to point it out to everyone by saying ",We're here. Can we go home now?"
"No," Haldir snapped. He pushed his horse into a full out sprint which forced the others to do the same. Sam was busy concentrating on staying on the huge beast. Upon further inspection of the gates they noticed something was not quite right. There was a single cave troll atop the gate, swinging his hammer into the barrier, while blubbering about what sounded like a lollipop. There were a few orcs along the perimeter, also, but they looked like they were having an afternoon nap. The doors of the gate were wide open. "I think we're invited in."
They rode through the fortress of their enemy and continued on to the tower that he was holed up in still licking his wounds. Once at the tower they noticed that it was even more desolate in that one area. Soon they figured out why. As they hopped, or in Sam's case fell, off of their horses the very ground they stood on began to shake. A shaky, weak voice could be heard in the distance.
"Who dares disturb Sauron? Speak trespassers."
"I come to make a proposition," Sam yelled before Haldir could even open his mouth. "A mate. A woman of strong blood with power. Power the likes you have never seen before. All you need do is come with us and we will give her to you."
The voice laughed. The group saw an eye peek out of one of the tower windows. It was a miniature version of Sauron's eye. They all wanted to laugh but managed not to do it for the sake of their plan.
"A woman ? For me ? Why should I trust you ? How do I know that this is not a trap ?"
"The woman is my mother. Believe me I want to get rid of her. She is a thorn in my side and needs a good man to keep her in line. I think you are that man...er, eye to do just that. All you would have to do is come to Imladris with us to meet her."
"To the home of Elrond?" the eye scoffed. "I think not."
"We can meet somewhere else then. Perhaps on the borders of Elrond's lands. There will be no guards. Only the woman. I give you my word," Haldir called up to the tiny eye.
Nothing followed Haldir's statement. A moment later the doors to the tower flew open and out walked a much thinner and less imposing Sauron wearing his battle armor. It was slightly rusty around the edges and his crown had one or two spikes snapped off of it. He didn't look very regal at all. He didn't even look remotely powerful.
"No way the Dragon Lady is going to buy this with him looking like that. He needs a makeover. A big makeover."
Elladan looked down at Sam as she bit her lower lip in deep thought. "What do you have in mind, Sam ?"
"I think I know the duo that could pull off something as large as this." She looked up at Sauron and yelled ",Get your horse. We leave now. No sense in wasting time. Come on. Chop, chop. Not literally though."
Within a matter of moments they were on their way to leaving Mordor. But there was no telling what was going to happen when they actually got back to Rivendell.
A/N 2- Sorry about the length but I've got to go to work early tomorrow and I wanted to get this out before what is left of my week became chaotic. Which will be anytime soon. Gah, I hate working retail during the holidays ! And on a special note. Those who are interested in joining in on writing this with us need only e-mail TICS or myself. My mail address is bakercook11ataoldotcom. You guys should know by now that won't let you do the at symbol or put dots in e-mail addresses. TICS e-mail is on our bio page. We welcome any writers who would like to join.
Disclaimer: My son Logan sends out a great big raspberry to all lawyers who even think about suing his mom.
He Strikes Fear
While Legolas and Misha were getting the Dragon Lady all settled in and Jessie and the others were doing whatever it was they were doing another group were having problems.
"My legs hurt. My ass hurts. My arms hurt. My face hurts. Even my hair hurts. Can someone please tell me how my hair can hurt?"Sam complained for the billionth time.
Dan and 'Ro just looked at one another and urged their horses ahead of her. Haldir clenched his jaw and glowered at Sam. "Why did you come along ?"
"Misha told me to. I have my positive attributes you know."
"Like what?" Haldir growled.
Sam was now officially offended. How dare the elf even think that she couldn't do anything. "I can do back handsprings until I run out of room. I make a mean margarita. I can unwrap a starburst with only my tongue. I can kick some serious ass. And I'm cute. You have to have a cuteness factor when going up against powerful evil."
"You can unwrap a starburst wrapper with only your tongue?" Elladan questioned, his mouth agape.
Sam just growled. Haldir, on the other hand, was not very impressed. "Do you even know why we're together ?"
"No. I was drunk at the time. I don't know why you even still pursue me. I'm not even interested."
"Oh really ?"
"Really."
Sam stuck her nose up in the air and continued to ride her horse clumsily across the rocky terrain. She failed to notice the large black gates that were coming into view. Elrohir was the one to point it out to everyone by saying ",We're here. Can we go home now?"
"No," Haldir snapped. He pushed his horse into a full out sprint which forced the others to do the same. Sam was busy concentrating on staying on the huge beast. Upon further inspection of the gates they noticed something was not quite right. There was a single cave troll atop the gate, swinging his hammer into the barrier, while blubbering about what sounded like a lollipop. There were a few orcs along the perimeter, also, but they looked like they were having an afternoon nap. The doors of the gate were wide open. "I think we're invited in."
They rode through the fortress of their enemy and continued on to the tower that he was holed up in still licking his wounds. Once at the tower they noticed that it was even more desolate in that one area. Soon they figured out why. As they hopped, or in Sam's case fell, off of their horses the very ground they stood on began to shake. A shaky, weak voice could be heard in the distance.
"Who dares disturb Sauron? Speak trespassers."
"I come to make a proposition," Sam yelled before Haldir could even open his mouth. "A mate. A woman of strong blood with power. Power the likes you have never seen before. All you need do is come with us and we will give her to you."
The voice laughed. The group saw an eye peek out of one of the tower windows. It was a miniature version of Sauron's eye. They all wanted to laugh but managed not to do it for the sake of their plan.
"A woman ? For me ? Why should I trust you ? How do I know that this is not a trap ?"
"The woman is my mother. Believe me I want to get rid of her. She is a thorn in my side and needs a good man to keep her in line. I think you are that man...er, eye to do just that. All you would have to do is come to Imladris with us to meet her."
"To the home of Elrond?" the eye scoffed. "I think not."
"We can meet somewhere else then. Perhaps on the borders of Elrond's lands. There will be no guards. Only the woman. I give you my word," Haldir called up to the tiny eye.
Nothing followed Haldir's statement. A moment later the doors to the tower flew open and out walked a much thinner and less imposing Sauron wearing his battle armor. It was slightly rusty around the edges and his crown had one or two spikes snapped off of it. He didn't look very regal at all. He didn't even look remotely powerful.
"No way the Dragon Lady is going to buy this with him looking like that. He needs a makeover. A big makeover."
Elladan looked down at Sam as she bit her lower lip in deep thought. "What do you have in mind, Sam ?"
"I think I know the duo that could pull off something as large as this." She looked up at Sauron and yelled ",Get your horse. We leave now. No sense in wasting time. Come on. Chop, chop. Not literally though."
Within a matter of moments they were on their way to leaving Mordor. But there was no telling what was going to happen when they actually got back to Rivendell.
A/N 2- Sorry about the length but I've got to go to work early tomorrow and I wanted to get this out before what is left of my week became chaotic. Which will be anytime soon. Gah, I hate working retail during the holidays ! And on a special note. Those who are interested in joining in on writing this with us need only e-mail TICS or myself. My mail address is bakercook11ataoldotcom. You guys should know by now that won't let you do the at symbol or put dots in e-mail addresses. TICS e-mail is on our bio page. We welcome any writers who would like to join.