Devastation and Regret

A citrus and crimson sky was dotted with clouds that shone blue. The sun set against a horizon so distant it was utterly straight, cutting the sun in half, slicing it like an orange it was the color of.

A many-storied building set at the other side of a wooden bridge whose railing was brightest red. A banner blew in the pleasant breeze—the breeze was never unpleasant here. Indeed, it merely caught the banner and fluttered its colors, nothing more…

Haku's eyes split open as fast as a strike of lightning and stayed wide as he took in his surroundings. He expected the sight of his grand chambers inside the bathhouse so much that the simple, obviously college student funded furnishings around shocked him.

He was sleeping on a simple, metal bed, with simple, blue bedding. A simple, white shade was pulled up to reveal a rainy early morning where cars themselves seemed to shudder at the hour as they drove by, their red taillights blurred against the wet window.

Haku sighed. Every night—it never failed—he woke up at the same time with the funny feeling someone was thinking of him. It had become a frustrating truth, yet he couldn't change it. Somewhere around three-thirty is a dreadful time to wake up, he thought to himself, but instead of lying awake he decided for a glass of water in the kitchen.

His feet shuffled out into the hallway and down it to the kitchen, but he dared not turn on a light and wake someone else as well as himself. And, well, why wake someone else up and make them suffer too?

He tried to guide his feet with the neon green light coming from the living room window. It splayed, just barely, across the white linoleum floor, and he shuffled his feet carefully. He knew they had several cats, and the last thing he wanted was to trip over one—or perhaps two.

His hands groped along the cabinets for the one containing the cups, and a voice behind him made him nearly cry out.

"What are you looking for?" It asked simply, casually, and he spun around to see nothing but darkness and shadow. "The light's right behind you." It said again—she said again; for the voice was definitely feminine, and then she chuckled. "The green light from the café across the street doesn't give enough light; I've tripped enough times to realize that."

He felt behind and around for a switch, and when he clicked it on he squeezed his eyes against the light. When finally he blinked them open, he saw Chihiro sitting at the kitchen island, her arm shielding her face at the brow, her other hand holding a grape from a filled bowl.

"Chihiro?" He said, and suddenly was embarrassed at the stupidity of the question. "I didn't think anyone would be up." His voice sounded apologetic. "Why are you?" She popped the grape in her mouth and picked up the bowl, making her way to the fridge.

"I'm always up around now." She shrugged. "I always wake up and can't get back to sleep." She put the bowl in the fridge and shut it, leaning against the door. "It sounds strange, kind of crazy, but I feel like someone's thinking about me. It happened once a long time ago, and now it happens every night." She shrugged again and made her way back to her high-legged chair.

"What about you?" She then asked, and it was his time to shrug, not feeling like offering the same explanation, though his mind reeled, thinking about the mirror perfect similarity.

"I couldn't sleep." He leaned against the tall island opposite her. "It's just…so different here." He began, thankful he could tell the truth now. "I've never, that I can remember, been so far away…" He looked thoughtful, though a bit sad. "without any chance of returning."

"Are you regretting your decision?" She asked, and he shook his head.

"Not at all…though it was the only thing I could ever call home." He gave her a reassuring smile. "I honestly don't think I'd want to return, at least not for a long time, and that only to see how everyone has gotten along. Thing's have changed, Chihiro, since you left. I know it's taken me a long time to convince Yubaba to let me go, but she's changed as well for the better." Chihiro nodded as she listened.

"Is it really OK if Yenshi shows you around tomorrow?" She asked sincerely after a few moments of silence. "If not, really I can—"

"Of course it's fine." He interrupted. "Go to your thing—whatever it is. Sorry, but I don't really understand." He apologized.

"No, that's fine. It's just, I'm a writer, and there's a convention—kind of like a get-together…well, somewhat—and they discuss what genres of writing are popular right now, what's new for writer's, that kind of thing. Kenji got me the tickets, and they are so hard to find. I don't even know how he got them." She was grinning now, her body shaking in giggly excitement.

"Who's Kenji?" He asked; he'd heard his name several times, yet still had no idea who he was. She seemed disheartened, like she just realized she hadn't told him, but the expression only last a moment until she replied.

"Oh, Kenji's my boyfriend. You've probably been confused all night, I'm sorry about that, Haku." She grinned again. Boyfriend? He felt so foolish, all these words he had yet to understand. His mind fumbled around to brake up the word. Boy. Friend. A friend that was a boy? That had to be it…didn't it?

"Well, I think I'm going to try to go to bed…wish me luck that I still don't have the weird feeling someone's thinking of me." She laughed, and he wished the same for himself. "With my luck my nose'll start itching as well." She started out of the kitchen but stopped in the doorway and turned around.

"I'm glad you're here, Haku." Her expression was serious, and her lips were set in a sincere fashion with the slightest smile.

He smiled back in a reply.

"Goodnight then." She gave him a smile before turning and making her way down the hall.

Both of them couldn't fall asleep.

^

"Good morning!" Yenshi cheered, ducking quickly in the doorway of Haku's temporary room. He jerked awake and his eyes scanned the room quickly. Had he even fallen asleep the night before?

Yenshi had disappeared since her wake up call, but now she returned with a towel in hand which she quickly tossed to him. He grasped it drowsily and wondered sub consciously what time it was.

"Time for a shower!" She called while she stood in the doorway. "Bathroom's on your left once you leave this room, soap's in the shower, everything like that. You didn't have any bags, so I bought you a toothbrush at the store this morning, and I washed your clothes as well." He was too tired to take any of it in.

"And, um," She put a finger to her bottom lip in thought. "when you shower—your clothes are in the bathroom by the way—just put those clothes in the hamper and I'll get them later. Or, actually, I'll have Chihiro do it since they're her clothes." She grinned. "Head to the kitchen for some breakfast when you're done, kay?" And with that she disappeared, leaving a very confused Haku to stumble into the bathroom for a shower.

^

Fifteen minutes later Haku entered the kitchen, his vision not so blurred and his mind a little clearer. Chihiro was looking at a newspaper and sipping something steaming in a cup, and Yenshi was cooking at the stove.

"Just take a seat next to Chihiro at the island there—breakfast's almost ready." He had to admire her being so cheerful so early, and already he liked Yenshi. She was just so cheery, so…likable.

He did as he was told, and smiled at the sight of the totally decked-out place setting prepared for him. Yenshi turned around, pan in one hand, spatula in the other, and dished eggs, bacon, and sausage onto his plate.

He said thank you, but she interrupted him, announcing there was more, not to thank him yet. He turned to Chihiro with a brow raised, and she looked at him over her newspaper and smiled with a wink.

"OK," Yenshi sat two buttered and jellied toasts on his plate and poured him orange juice. "Now you can thank me." She grinned and waited for his approval.

"It looks great." He grinned at her and she broadened her own. "Thank you," He bit into an egg. "it's delicious."

"Good, I'm glad you like it. Now I'm gonna go get ready and then we can leave." She disappeared without a word, and Haku dived into his food—it seemed like he hadn't eaten in ages.

"Yenshi's a cool girl; you'll have fun today." She folded her newspaper and put it down. "That is, I still feel bad about leaving you with her, Haku." He shook his head, his mouth fool. "I am." She insisted.

"Don't be, Chihiro, I promise that I don't mind." She studied him for a moment before picking up her mug and taking it to the sink.

"If you're sure then…" She looked at him searchingly again, but he only nodded without a change of expression. "Oh, alright." She rinsed out her cup, her fingers sliding over the glass, then shook it out and sat it on a dish rack to dry. "I'm leaving pretty soon, then; Kenji's picking me up—" The doorbell rang, interrupting her. "…now, I suppose."

She walked into the living room—which was basically the same room—and opened the door. A tall guy with choppy brown hair was on the other side, and he smiled.

"Ready to go?" He asked, and she put a hand up before going to the closet for a coat. It was then that Kenji saw Haku, and a curious expression crossed his face for a moment. "Who—?"

"This is Haku, Kenji. Haku, this is Kenji." She put her coat on. "Haku's…Haku's an old friend of mine come to visit. Yenshi's hanging out with him this afternoon though because Haku's quite the gentleman.

"Haku came in unexpectedly yesterday, he'd been trying to find me, but he wouldn't dare let me pass up this afternoon with you. If that isn't quite a gentleman I don't know what is." She turned and winked at Haku. "We'll all catch up later, kay? Yenshi has a cell phone so we can meet for dinner or something like that." She smiled. "Bye, Haku!" The door closed, Chihiro had left, and Haku hadn't said a word.

^

At fifteen after two Yenshi and Haku plopped into a booth seat at a restaurant, completely tired to the hilt. They both looked down the menu, and Haku opted for something he actually knew the name of.

"So, did I get you too tired, Haku?" Yenshi asked when their food appeared. "You're probably so sick of Tokyo you don't know what to do except move." She laughed, but even it sounded tired, and he only smiled slimly in return. "How about we just catch a movie next?" The suggestion—although he'd never actually seen a movie, just heard of them—sounded great to him, and he agreed.

Six hours later they emerged from the theater, rumpled and sleepy, Haku holding a popcorn bowl and a large soda cup which he tossed in the trash. They had both agreed on a second movie as well, and though the action flicks weren't exactly his cup of tea, it had been quite nice to sit.

"Where should we—" There was a faint beeping coming from her purse, and he looked at it strangely, though he attempted not to. She pulled out a phone, and instantly he felt embarrassed of not knowing what it was.

"Yeah." They stood still while she talked. "Yeah, that'd be fine…OK, yeah…yup…OK, bye!" She hung up the phone and turned to him while her hand sub consciously slipped the phone back in its spot.

"That was Chihiro," She began, and his face brightened. "She wants us to meet them for dinner…that OK?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

^

Half and hour later they arrived at the said restaurant, looking around the room for a trace of Chihiro and Kenji. They found them to the left, towards the back, and with smiles and acknowledging waves went to their table. Chihiro pulled out a seat next to her and bade Haku to sit down at it, which he did, giving her a special smile.

"I'm famished!" Yenshi, always truthful, groaned. "I feel like it's been forever since I ate…" She grinned. "But Haku could tell you a whole different story." They exchanged smiles, visions of lunch and movie-theater ditty's appearing in their minds.

"What looks good here?" Haku asked as he opened his menu, and Chihiro made a move to speak, but Kenji interrupted her.

"It depends on what you like." He said in a bored tone, and Haku, sensing dismissal, glanced down the menus' rows. "Hey, Chihiro, haven't we been here before?" Haku glanced up with his eyes, but not his head.

"Um, I dunno', Kenji." Kenji bit his lip, and Haku eyed him thoughtfully while he waved the waitress over. After they had ordered and had their water glasses filled he was still thinking, but when conversations turned to an actual topic he blinked away his thoughts.

"You know, Tokyo needs to work on it." His eyes flicked to the speaker: Kenji. "When Chihiro and I got out of the car there was one again, sitting in the alley, all dirty and dingy and covered in muck."

Chihiro cast her eyes downward, and Yenshi only listened with vague attention. Although she heard everything, she chose not to be involved.

"Why can't poor people just make some money and become useful in some way." He shook his head, irritated, and Haku's brow rose, now understanding the topic of his words.

"Poor people?" He asked, and Kenji nodded, though he thought Haku was agreeing. "You are quite critical of a social group you don't understand." Kenji's expression changed dramatically. "Obviously, I can tell, you have never had a want or need for money, and so you can not be critical of a class that you have never been a part of, nor understand." Chihiro looked at Haku, though he could not tell—that is, if he even noticed—if her expression was that of wanting him to continue or wanting him to stop, though either way there was a definite surprise factor being played out.

"And you can understand them?" Kenji looked at him mockingly. "I doubt you have ever been part of that class. I can just tell." Haku seemed thoughtful as he put his words together cunningly fast.

"I have spent nearly my entire life working in an operation whose lowest level consists of much poorer even than you have described. Yet they cannot help themselves. They are bound to that class even through birth, for they have no way to elevate themselves." Kenji listened, though he scoffed.

"They have no way to work themselves to a higher level because those at the top, like you, would not give them the chance. They are bound to die perhaps even more in debt than they were born—and then only to leave that debt to their children—destined to be mocked by those indeed who suffer them to be as they are." Kenji rolled his eyes, but Haku's own glistened blacker than black.

"And you created your own band of saviors for them, I suppose? People in the company who would risk themselves to save the less fortunate? I sit in the presence of a upright and virtuous man, I would say." He grinned wickedly.

"Had I had the power than perhaps I could have proved to be more charitable, but I had no power that could help them in any way. However, one thing is for sure; that they deserve our respect, for they work as hard as they can even though they make not enough profit to bring any good to them." Their eyes locked. Haku's shone with determination, and Kenji's with anger and annoyance.

"Your old friend, Chihiro, has proved that he can put his words together well, making himself sound like a regular old Confucius if I might say so myself. But his philosophies would be better written in books that only old and young fools would open for 'words to live by'." He snorted. "They'd waste the rest of us our time."

Haku had kept his head held high and proud the entire time, but when Chihiro sighed so very quietly he looked down at his plate like a dog shunned by his master. He felt embarrassed, like he had shamed her perhaps, and he bit his tongue against his cheek, fighting away this antsy, nervous feeling.

"Look, I've got to go home," Kenji sighed, standing up and pulling out his wallet. He pulled out several bills, a little more than the price of the meal, and set them on the table. "Are you coming with me, Chihiro?" Chihiro looked at Kenji, then Haku, then back to Kenji. He gave her a look that asked her the same question again, and she got up, sliding her purse on her shoulder and looking at Yenshi.

"Can you two make it home OK?" She asked, not daring to look at Haku through embarrassment of Kenji, though he took it, still with his head bowed, that it was that she wasn't pleased with what he had done, and he felt ashamed, color rising to his cheeks.

She left without another word, and Haku sighed.

"Wanna go home?" Yenshi asked quietly, and he nodded.

^

Haku had been mostly silent the entire ride home, but there was a burning question that he couldn't hold back anymore.

"Who is Kenji?" He asked, and Yenshi's hand slid along the steering wheel as the car turned.

"He's her boyfriend." She said simply, and Haku sighed before looking at her questionably again. "Hey, Haku, I don't want to pry…but there's something about you that's not normal, isn't there?" Haku nodded.

"I don't really feel like explaining now." She nodded. "What is a boyfriend?" He asked, sensing it was now OK to admit he didn't understand a lot of things. She smiled, now understanding…a little.

"A boyfriend is someone you date." She said it slowly. "Someone you like, sometimes love—at least you think so at the time" She snorted. "—and someone you hang out with a lot, hold hands, kiss and stuff like that." Haku's heart slid down into his stomach, but he had already guessed; Yenshi was only turning his beliefs into facts.

He sighed, though silently, and longed for home. This wasn't home, he was wrong to have come…wrong to have had expected so much. Chihiro had moved on with her life, and he should have guessed that she would. Just because all his time he had spent thinking of her…. She had a busier life, filled with things like university, and she had no use for memories of a boy she thought only existed in dream.

He leaned back in his seat, utterly devastated, crushed, regretting he had ever chosen to leave.

^

That night, when he got home, he didn't see Chihiro. In fact, he avoided her. Feeling like a child who had done wrong, he went to bed without a word to anyone.

That night, both stayed awake, never sleeping at all, with the constant feeling someone was thinking of them.