Joy and Sadness
Chihiro woke up dazedly, but soon her eyes widened at the realization that she wasn't alone. From her point of view the only thing that could be seen—without moving—was the neck to the waist, and, well, it isn't easy to identify a person with only that amount of manifestation.
She attempted, with all her might, to look up enough to reveal a face, however it was futile—she would move too much, and risk waking the unidentified person.
Could it be Kenji? No, they had broken up the night before. Had he come and patched things together late in the night? Too late for her to remember? No, he hadn't, and even if he had…she wouldn't be in bed with him.
Could it be a serial molester? She'd heard of these cruel men. Oh, how could this happen to her! She wanted to scream, but that would only wake him up. Oh, dear! Where on earth was Yenshi?
She nearly gasped when the person moved—just a touch. However she held herself completely still, mute, silent as the grave. But a breath was only released—it blew the top of her hair—and she sighed in relief.
Half an hour later, Chihiro was bored, waiting for a chance at escape or discovery. It was now, when she had let her guard down, that the person moved again. He—of course it was a he—turned to his other side with a great heave, tossing Chihiro out of the bed, throwing her onto the floor where she made a great bunk!
She screamed, but threw her fist into her mouth to silence it. She jumped to her feet and began to scramble—half running, half crawling—to the door, however in the process she caught a glance of the scoundrel who had shared her bed.
She was so surprised her jaw dropped nearly to the floor, her hand unmoving on the doorknob, the door pushed half way open.
Haku? Haku? She looked again, a little closer. Haku? She tiptoed closer. Surely her eyes were deceiving her. Haku? She leaned over the bed and peered most incredulously. Haku!
What on earth—? Haku began to stir, and she booked it to and out the door, her mind still puzzled at the truth she had just been revealed. And here she had been expecting a twisted rapist or something.
It was then that the comedy of the situation hit her like a wave, and she leant against the hallway wall and cracked up laughing harder than she had in weeks—years perhaps.
Yenshi appeared, quite concerned, asking what happened. When Chihiro couldn't answer Yenshi—remembering discovering Chihiro and Haku in the same bed this morning—blushed slightly, smiled knowingly, and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Chihiro to plea her case—against any ideas Yenshi had—fruitlessly; for she couldn't keep a straight face.
Annoyed, she left for a shower, knowing she could clear things up with Yenshi later.
^
Haku and Chihiro strolled lazily down the sidewalk of an old-style garden set in a major Tokyo park. Somewhere in the distance someone strung and played a traditionally Japanese instrument, and the tune brought a hint of happy reminiscence.
"Do you regret leaving?" He turned to her, his piercing eyes all the more breathtaking than they were before, and her question had been forgotten until he spoke, breaking the magnificent silence.
"You've asked me this before." His cool, smooth voice erupted like a pleasant rumble. It had grown ever so deeper, yet he could never have gained on how refined, how perfectly poised his tones were when she had last seen him. He had been a man even then, and now she saw him as something reminiscent of a God.
"But I wonder. You left a lot behind you know, mainly the world you knew. You know nothing here, barely even how much money to pay at stores, barely how to slip your subway ticket through the reader." He chuckled, and she shook her head. "Those things, Haku, are the things that will make you long for home the most."
"And you know what it's like to be in my situation?" He asked her, a small smile on his lips.
"Listen to me!" She poked a finger to her chest, not in the mood to have her words taken lightly. "It's the day to day things you feel incompetent in, the things you feel so far behind, the understandings of little things that will make you wish you were back where you belonged." She had heard her words, knew what she had said, but it was the expression on his face that made her wish she had taken them back.
"Where I belong?" He asked quietly, and he tried to stifle the expression on his face, tried to hide the hurt tone of his voice. He wished it to sound as if he merely asked out of curiosity, but for one of the few times in his life he hadn't been able to hide his emotions.
"I didn't mean—" He blinked, looking at her sincerely as she attempted to gather her thoughts. "Haku," She grabbed his arm. "I didn't mean it like that." She said regretfully. "It just came out that way, just like I don't feel I belong in your—just like I didn't come from your world." He knew she was swimming to hide her mistake, and he strove to ease away her discomfort.
He pushed back a strand of hair from her face and drew his hand to grasp her shoulder with a reassuring smile.
"I know, Chihiro." His smile was comforting, warm, forgiving. He gave her a last squeeze on her arm and they continued walking.
^
Haku's feet trod along the sidewalk, the sun setting against his back, his hands slung into his pockets and his shoulders hunched just a little bit.
"It's the day to day things you feel incompetent in, the things you feel so far behind, the understandings of little things that will make you wish you were back where you belonged."
Chihiro's words rung in his ears like a taunting memory, and his thoughts turned to scene's of their past couple days together.
He saw himself holding up the subway line, trying to shove his ticket in just like everyone else but ultimately different. He saw everyone's faces, and heard Chihiro's kind, patient words.
He saw himself struggling so many times over tiny, insignificant things that Chihiro never thought twice about. Money, clothing, words…all these things he struggled time and time again with.
He had never been awkward, at least not for a long time, and he felt clumsy, slow, in the way…
Maybe she was right.
He leant against the smooth bark of a tree, the orange glow from the sunset warming his face, casting a sheen over his dark hair, and he slid down to the ground.
Maybe she was right?
He recalled how lonely he had been without her for all those years, how desperately he awaited the day his freedom would be granted. How desperately he awaited the moment he could see her again.
There had been a hole there. One that only Chihiro could fill. He had felt it keenly every day that he remained, every day that he yearned to leave. He didn't yearn to leave Tokyo. No, he didn't. Not with the desperate desire that he had to leave the bathhouse. To leave in search of her.
But what he had come to expect upon his arrival had not occurred. He sighed. How many times in the past had he daydreamed of seeing her again? The first person that had made a smile appear on his face?
He was here, with her. But the sequences he had desired—expected—had not happened like he imagined them to play out.
Joy and sadness.
He recalled a line Yenshi had said, that day she had shown him around town.
Life is what happens when you are making other plans…
How true it was to his situation. How true it must be to everyone, no matter the events in their life. Nothing happens like you plan it, and he would be foolish to expect them to.
He couldn't go back to the bathhouse. Not until he had earned his way out. He would try his hardest to fit in, to understand. He'd get a job—there had to be one in Tokyo somewhere—he'd study, he'd understand. He'd understand.
No more of this awkwardness. No more.
With determination he stood up.
He would vie for Yenshi's aid. She could teach him how to talk, walk, act, and dress how they did here. She could help him find a job. They'd start tomorrow. She herself had said she had the day 'dismally free'.
His hair he had gotten trimmed to just above his shoulders, but she'd show him how to get it done to fit in seamlessly. He'd buy new clothes, he'd work on the Tokyo lingo—this was it. This is what he could do.
No more sitting around and feeling sorry for himself. No more pathetic whimpering and whining. No more of this dramatic angst.
With that new frame of mind he trotted home happily, and was relieved that Chihiro wasn't home, but Yenshi was.
"Yeshi," He began, barging into the kitchen. She looked up from her bowl of Ramen in a startled manner. "I need your help." She raised a brow. "You know my situation? You know the story of how Chihiro and I met? Do you know all that?" She blinked.
"Well, I know you two are old friends, that you came to catch up, that you like her—" He looked surprised. "Don't deny it. Anyways, what else?" Haku smiled; Yenshi wasn't the casual type.
Fifteen minutes later Yenshi looked at Haku in a new light.
"You don't believe me, do you?" She shook her head.
"No, what I don't believe is that I do believe you." She sighed and set her bowl down. "So now you want to fit in. You didn't know what a writer was that first evening, and I noticed that. Haven't thought of it since except now that you tell me your circumstance. You just want to blend." He nodded.
"Well then," She announced. "You're going to blend." He smiled, and she nodded. "Yep, we start tomorrow. I'm off all day, and Chihiro's gone all day, so, all day, you and I are going to take a long stroll through Tokyo." She laughed.
"It's a good thing you changed your gold, and that you have tons, because we're re-doing everything tomorrow. And I mean everything." Haku never realized he'd be this lucky.