Disturbance and Love

The next few days were slow, but they progressed. Chihiro was spending almost all of her time with Yenshi—all that she could spare, that is.

Two days after their evening spent together, Chihiro and Haku had another night planned. When he was ready to go, Haku approached Chihiro in her room and found her sitting at her desk, piles of books and papers strewn around her in a crazed manner.

She had track pants on, with an oversized tank top, and her hair was pulled into a messy bun with hairs poking out in spots.

She was peering at a book, comparing it to a paper, looking back and forth, back and forth. Haku drew to her, and she looked at him questioningly, and when seeing he was dressed nicer than his at-home clothes she furrowed her brows.

"What time is it?" She questioned, and he sighed.

"Six forty-five or so." She looked at him in amazement, and a slow smile spread across his lips. "It's OK; you need to study." He assured her, and after several protests from Chihiro that he wouldn't accept, she gave in.

Haku, as he was leaving her room, couldn't help but admit he was disappointed. Though it was only his own selfishness that was spurring it on. Even still he had to admit to slouching into the couch with a sigh and picking up the TV remote with a disheartened attitude.

But, an hour later, when he had finally settled for one of the less stupid of the many stupid game shows, he obtained some company.

Chihiro, dressed no different than before except she had put on some big fluffy house slippers and thrown on a hooded sweatshirt, came in and stood by the couch without a word.

Haku looked up at her.

"I'm craving ice-cream." She said, and tossed her head towards the living room closet. "Grab your coat."

^

Twenty minutes later Chihiro and Haku were the only customers in a little ice-cream parlor run by an old, overly happy man who had given them each extra scoops with a wink.

"I've been wanting this all night." She dove into her ice-cream with flourish, but Haku didn't smile.

"Tired?" He asked after a moment, and her happy-go-lucky attitude slid and she nodded.

"Yeah. I needed the break more than the ice-cream, I have to admit. It's just, I'm so slammed with everything right now, Haku." She sighed and leant on the table, her ice-cream drooping.

He felt bad, not knowing what to say, what words would comfort her—he'd never been to school. But his worry ended when she put a hand on his arm and said, "Thanks for just being here, Haku—you…you don't know how much it means to me to have a friend around. Yenshi's great, but…you know."

For the moment that their eyes locked Haku couldn't have moved had he wanted to. Her big eyes, looking into his, telling him how grateful she was to have him near…

She sighed.

"I wish her boyfriend hadn't done that to her. She's crushed. You know they had gone out for almost three years, right?" Haku hadn't known, and his surprise must have shown because she then said, "Hard to believe that someone could be so bad, to just dump someone they'd been with for three years without any explanation." She shook her head, shaking off the topic.

"This is the best blackberry ice-cream ever." She squealed, in a completely casual way.

^

Rain had started to splatter in Tokyo when Chihiro and Haku came back to her apartment. They scaled the outer steps to her door, but she stopped mid-step and Haku heard her hiss something under her breath.

"What's wrong?" He asked, and she was digging through her sweatshirt pocket. "Did you forget something?" He then prodded, and she nodded, frustrated.

"I forgot my wallet." She turned to go back down the stairs but he stopped her. "What?"

"I'll go get it. Go ahead in and I'll be right back."

"But—"

"It's only a couple blocks away—I'll be right back." Without another word he jogged down the steps.

"Thanks, Haku!" She called after him, and pulled her apartment key out of her sweatshirt pocket.

She slid it into the lock and turned it. Walking into her apartment, she was about to flip the switch when she heard a noise in the living room.

"Yenshi? I thought you were at work—" Footsteps approached her, and before she could turn on the light, someone—a man—had grasped her wrist and spun her around, pulling her into the living room.

His grip was intense, harsh, and she found herself squirming though she felt her intruder was strangely familiar.

"I need you back, Chihiro." Kenji! She gasped. His voice was ragged, and he smelled bad.

"Let go—" She squirmed some more, but to no use; he was too strong.

"Chihiro, just listen to me." He squeezed her wrist tighter, and she hissed at the pain. "Chihiro—"

"Kenji, that hurts!" He jerked her body closer to his, and in the faint glow of the digital readout on the entertainment center electronics she saw an utter lack of sympathy. A lack of reasoning. He was crazy—at least at the moment, and she feared Haku would be slow to return.

"Listen to me!" He snapped. "You weren't thinking straight, Chihiro. Weren't thinking straight about us breaking up." He insisted.

"Yes I was!" She returned, but she knew it was stupid the moment her mouth opened. His eyes grew wide, and he slapped her so hard is sent her reeling into the ottoman. She crashed into it with a thud that made her lose her breath, and her was falling out and around her shoulders.

"Kenji…" She gasped. "Kenji, what—"

"Chihiro…" He warned.

"Kenji, I know this isn't you! Snap out of it! Please!"

"Shut up." He didn't snap, or yell. But his tone was so cold it made her literally shudder, and she was still trying to catch her breath.

^

Haku jogged into the ice-cream parlor, and the old man handed him Chihiro's wallet without hesitation. His wrinkly, dry face was still smiling, his eyes nearly squinted shut, and Haku gave his thanks quickly before heading back into the rain.

^

If she could have thought straight she might have pondered how the ice-cream parlor was five, six blocks away, considered it was raining—might have been worried about how long it would take Haku…but she couldn't think straight. She could only see Kenji's hard, cold eyes staring her down, and she felt her stomach drop to her ankles when he came closer.

"I wouldn't whine or complain if I were you." He growled. "And I would listen—very hard—to what I had to say. So here's what I have to say, Chihiro." He grabbed her arms and lifted her up to face the same direction he was. She could feel his body next to hers, and felt herself shudder again, feel his breath on her neck, near her ears.

"Are you scared?" He asked suddenly, seemingly tender, but there was no sincerity to his voice. He twisted her around to face him, and though she couldn't bear to, she looked into his eyes unblinkingly.

"Why are you scared of me? I love you, Chihiro." He may have sounded hurt, but she knew he wasn't…perhaps he was, but she really didn't care. He was walking, step by step now, pushing her backwards, and when she felt the wall hit her back she jumped.

^

Haku jogged in the rain. He was glad Chihiro didn't have to do it, not that he would have let her. He had put her leather wallet under his shirt to protect it from the rain; the pelting water was making him soaked.

He shook his hair—it was as wet as if he had been swimming—he was halfway there now, and chilled to the bone, he noted without much thought beyond that he was shivering slightly.

^

Chihiro was stiff as a board. When his lips grazed across her cheek she fought against the chill down her spine to no avail. She felt him pause—her eyes were closed—before trailing to her lips.

She kept them tightly shut.

He kissed her anyway, and she felt like his lips were dirty. She didn't want them on hers.

"What? Don't want to kiss back? Even for the heck of it?" He shot sarcastically, and she used his lapse of concentration to throw herself as far away as she could in one motion. She crashed into the entertainment center, and with the consoles banging and sliding, falling, she felt several limbs begin to bruise and ache after being struck.

She hissed through her teeth—her body was aching instantly—and he snatched her and tossed her onto the couch which balanced on its hind legs for a moment before stabilizing her sudden and harsh weight.

^

Haku couldn't tell you all the things that rushed through his head upon seeing a man grab Chihiro and toss her into the couch.

Hate.

That was the emotion that was coursing through his veins, heating his blood.

There were so many things he wanted to do at that moment, but he heard his own voice before he could think any of them through.

"Get out." He heard himself growl, like a dark and haunting animal. "Get out!" He then growled, louder. Kenji—he didn't know when he realized it was Kenji; it hadn't really mattered to him—snapped his head up and darted his eyes to Haku who stood in the doorway.

"Don't ever come back here!" Haku shouted, slowly getting closer to Chihiro, but never taking his eyes off Kenji.

His surroundings seemed to connect to Kenji. He had an expression of someone waking up from a deep sleep while he looked around. Slowly he obeyed Haku's command, and without a word, dashed out of the apartment.

^

Haku sighed, looking around at the damage before slipping down to the couch next to Chihiro.

"What happened? He hurt you—what's wrong?" But Chihiro only threw herself into his arms, her shoulders shaking, and Haku without hesitation, obliged her.

He shifted into a better position, letting her lie in his arms, and he watched her form in the glowing light from the street signs, his body still soaking wet, his hair dripping.

"All I've done is cry since you got here," She began. "You must think I'm such a wimp." He shook his head sincerely, slowly, making sure she was looking at him.

Hours seemed to pass by, her still in his arms, and once he thought she was asleep he made a move to get up though he didn't want to leave her.

But, in a completely calm, un-sleepy voice she said, "Please stay with me." And so, without hesitation, he did.

^

When Haku woke up he was alone. There was noise coming from the kitchen, and he saw the different consoles had been put back together and neatly tidied into the entertainment center.

He moved his body—groaned at the aches and pains from sleeping on the couch, with someone else too boot—and made his way into the kitchen. Chihiro was doing the dishes, her back to him. Her hair was wet from a shower, and she had clean clothes on, though they were on the grungy side.

"How are you?" She stopped what she was doing, paused, before turning around to face him.

"I'm fine." It may have a seemed like a 'I don't want to talk about it' answer, however there was a lack of her trying to hide something, and a normal level of being open. Haku took it, from her tone and pose as, "I'm fine, but not great. I'm fine, but not wallowing in fear and despair. I'm fine, I'm over it but not quite. "

"He won't come back." She said suddenly. "I know him well enough…he was just—" She paused quickly. "Just different. Crazy. Perhaps drunk." She mused mused sarcastically. "I don't know how to explain it, Haku, but I promise he won't be back."

Several minutes later, Chihiro set down some breakfast for the both of them. Haku wanted to poke the microwaved danish but decided against it, thinking she might be offended. It did look a little cold still.

She prodded her blueberry danish absentmindedly with her fork, not eating a bite, and finally she sighed and took in a purposeful breath.

"He said he loved me." He looked at her. Not able to find any words he remained silent. He also knew she just needed to speak. "He doesn't." She muttered bitterly. "How could you do that and say it was because you loved someone?" She rolled her eyes—Haku forgot about his danish.

"I mean, love is about understanding, friendship, that little jolt to your stomach when you see them in a crowded room…isn't it?" She pushed her plate of broken up danish away. "What do you think love is, Haku?" He didn't know what to say.

His heart was doing that uncomfortable thump-thump, ba-dump, thump-thump, ba-dump. She was still waiting for an answer. And so he shoved any discomfort away, reminding himself that this was the same Chihiro who had gasped for breath when they crossed the bridge eight years ago. The same Chihiro who had bawled while eating rice balls.

"Love is," He began. "longing to see that person for hours on end. Love is thinking they're the best-looking person in the room, even if they're dressed bad or dirty. Love is sliding your fingers through their hair and that feeling leaving you breathless. Love is feeling complete when you hold them, and your arms aching when you aren't. Love is the feeling that you would cross any barrier to get to them.

"Love is…something that doesn't die, no matter how long you've waited to feel their touch."

She was silent, his passionate words sinking in, and she sighed.

"You act as if you know for sure." He shrugged.

"Perhaps I do, perhaps I only imagine. Perhaps my ideas are only fantastical dreams…but one thing I know, is that love is something special. Whether it be an adventurous kind like a story, or a friendship that will never die.

"It's flying, Chihiro. Soaring high in the sky on warm, feathered wings."