Hurt and Pain

Both Chihiro and Haku kept the events of Kenji's visit to themselves. Yenshi was oblivious, having been so tired that in the dark she didn't even notice them on the couch.

Yenshi had dived into work with an aggression that could only be explained by her recent hurt. She would leave in the morning and return late, as sometimes she'd work a nine-to-five and go out to dinner before returning to work for an evening shift.

Chihiro was dedicated to work, never missing, but her job at a nearly fast food place was more sporadic, and definitely part-time. Yenshi's main job, a nine-to-five on Monday's, Wednesday's, and Friday's, she had been at for nearly a year.

It was a prestigious job working for a women's magazine, heading up the business section as main editor and occasional journalist. She had recently taken on a second job for Tuesday's and Thursday's at a jewelry store near her magazine's building.

Most nights she could be found working the evening shift at the jewelry store, or back at the magazine's building touching up articles and layouts meticulously.

It was on one of these evening's that Haku came to the Rouge! magazine building with some extra dinner and—most especially—extra dessert, but his main purpose was to just check up on her.

There was the occasional worker here and there, the seldom but crazed overachiever who was 'tweaking' their article before submitting it to the editor over them, and on a floor by herself he found Yenshi.

She was sitting at a desk laden with so many computer screens he worried about her eyesight, squinting in the dark as she inspected the largest screen that was in the middle of the mass.

"Hi." He greeted cheerily, and she looked up at him in surprise, and then her eyes darted to the tupperware boxes in his hands with chopsticks and a fork on top. She smiled.

"You're awesome, Haku, but you didn't have—"

"I know, I know. But I wanted to." He interrupted, setting them down next to a mess of papers on her desk.

"Thank you." She smiled at him, and then gestured for him to snag the nearby rolling chair. "That really was sweet of you." She went to the first box of food, and her chopsticks tapped while she ate.

"What are you working on now?" He looked interestedly at the programs running on her computer, and she set the food down, chewing her food and swallowing quickly before she answered.

"This is the main layout for the magazine page," She began, her fingers trailing along the screen. "And these are the different articles. I've got to arrange them all nicely and stuff for tomorrow's printing." She grinned in a cheesy way. "Wanna' subscribe?" She shot at him, and he glanced at all the different magazine logos about her small office.

"Rouge?" He asked her questioningly, and she rolled her eyes with a slight chuckle.

"Roooosh." She pronounced for him, drawing it out dramatically, and it was his turn to laugh. "It's French for the color red." She then explained, to which he nodded, but without sincerely paying much attention.

"I'm sure you'd be crazy about the fashion, make-up, and women's health sections." She winked at him. "Well, thank you very much, Haku. I probably should be getting back to work…"

"I understand." He got up with a wide smile, and bid her goodbye and wished her good luck on finishing the entry.

She watched him walk down the long, slender hallway before turning the corner.

^

"How's Yenshi?" Chihiro asked Haku once he got back. "Did she like the food and everything?"

"Yeah, she did. She's fine…well, all right, I suppose. Looks like she has a lot to do." He dragged his palm against the back of his neck as he walked into the kitchen.

"I think she bit off too much." Chihiro commented quietly.

"You think?"

"Yeah, definitely. Look at it. I mean, she was hurt and going through a lot with the breakup, so naturally she wanted to escape. Her means of escape was to work a lot. You know, harder you work the less you think of anything else.

"Well, I think she took in a lot so she wouldn't have to think about it—to block it out, you see. And now that all the time, the work, the responsibility has caught up with her, she's getting physically and emotionally exhausted." He nodded, with nothing more to add to that. She was dead right, he had to admit.

"Anywho…I want to tell her but I'm caught. On one hand I feel close enough to her, and on the other I feel it's not my place." She sighed. "Did you get enough dessert? There's a ton left in the fridge."

He decided on some and pulled both the cobbler and the ice-cream out. He dumped some ice-cream right on top of the whole bowl of leftovers, and dove in without a second thought.

The whole scene made Chihiro smile. How infinitely different he was from normal guys and how ultimately the same. She was glad—she didn't like him feeling out of place. She knew what it was like. How bad a feeling it was that you couldn't get rid of till you did.

"You've got another bruise." He pointed out, mad, with a mouthful of blackberry cobbler and vanilla ice-cream. Indeed, Chihiro was wearing a white a-shirt top and pajama pants, and the sleeveless style showed off a purple-blue bruise on the outside of her upper arm.

She glanced down at it distractedly, twitching her mouth in a so-so way before going back to the dishes.

Chihiro had had many bruises pop up here and there since that night. She had usually tried to hide them both to avoid questions from Yenshi and Haku's anger towards Kenji that presented itself without restraint.

"I heard he left town." She added quietly, and Haku perked up his hearing. "Some people at school were talking about how he suddenly transferred further north, and that at the end of the semester he was going to America. New York, where he got an internship offer." Haku's brows rose in interest and curiosity.

"I'm glad." She nearly whispered. Haku got out of his chair, and in an instant he had put a comforting hand on her shoulder, which she greatly appreciated.

^

Haku's visit to Yenshi that night had become a routine as she worked every night, rain or shine, tragedy or typhoon.

Each night he would bring her dinner, whether Chihiro had cooked it, or—more often than not lately—he did himself as Chihiro was found busy once more with school and working double due to a coworker quitting without notice.

One particular night, a week later then his first visit, Yenshi gave him a grin of satisfaction after biting into the meal.

"It's delicious, Haku. You make it this time?" She teased. "In all seriousness, you've become a better cook each time—I'd be totally satisfied for Chihiro and I to give up the kitchen for good."

He shrugged it off, embarrassed, with a laugh.

"No more of your dumplings?" He then asked her, and she waved a hand dismissively.

"All right, all right. Dumplings occasionally. But only occasionally!" To which they both laughed.

A silence ensued for several moments before Yenshi then mentioned quietly, "You know, I haven't gotten so close to someone for a while, it seems." She smiled weakly, and Haku knew how deeply she felt that was true.

^

The next night Haku, as he had grown used to, was sitting on the train; a Tupperware container of steaming rice and teriyaki vegetables in his hand with chopsticks perched on top.

He twiddled his fingers, tapping them on the container, messing with the chopsticks, his windblown hair dangling in his eyes, dusting over his ears. His mouth was smirking thoughtfully, his shoulders slouched just a bit as the last neon signs of the club district zoomed by, hours before their occupants would enter, eager for a carefree and wild evening of dancing and strobe lights.

When the train came to his stop he shouldered his way through the crowd of Tokyo natives so used to the hustle and bustle nothing could faze them. He left the station in a slight jog, and crossed the street at the first light, seeing Rouge's building just ahead.

The automatic doors slid to give him entrance, and he recalled with a smile his first encounter with such doors.

Yenshi smiled her hello as he entered her makeshift office that was little more than a cubby in the center of a long hallway.

She drew her feet up under her in her seat, her hair twisted up with a writing pen, her computer re-dialing its internet connection in the background.

"What've we got tonight?" She asked excitedly, and her handed her the blue container and the chopsticks.

"Teriyaki vegetables and rice." She looked up at him, and her eyes followed as he sat down across from her.

"No meat?" She asked, eyebrows lifted.

"No meat." He returned. "Healthier for eating so late." Indeed it was nearly nine-thirty. Chihiro still hadn't come home when he left, having to work a shift two hours longer than her usual.

She rolled her eyes at his healthy comment, saying, "Working my hours the last thing you care about is healthy." She chuckled. "No, it's what fast food tastes the best and is easiest to hold on the go."

This Haku snorted at, to which she cast him a sly smile.

She asked about Chihiro's work, and talked about all the work of her own was going to take her. Haku, always pleasant company, talked eagerly, anxious for some company, and not ready to go home to an empty apartment alone.

It was this he voiced, casually, but he also added that, "I'm used to being alone. I mean, at the bathhouse that's what it was. No matter how many people surrounded you, you were on your own." To this she listened sympathetically, nodding in empathy.

The minutes rolled by, and the food was long gone when footsteps approached them as they both laughed—giggling as quietly as they could.

A girl in her mid to late twenties told them she was leaving and that everyone else had already left as well. With a cheery smile she left, telling Yenshi that she would see her in the morning.

Yenshi glanced at the clock and sighed, shaking her head. "Do you realize what time it is?" He raised a brow. "Twelve thirty-seven." His eyes widened in surprise. "Hey, Haku, thanks for coming by." She leaned forward on her elbows intimately.

"Thanks for…thanks for coming by every night, bringing me dinner and everything. I just…I…" In only the light of the computer screen she leant forward and met his lips with her own.

Her long bangs slid from behind her ears to brush his cheek, and her slender fingers strayed lightly to his neck.

Haku had never been kissed before. It sent a strange feeling of vulnerability and thrill through him. A strange feeling that was not unlike discomfort but blissful. Indeed he had never felt the same, every nerve in his body heightened to touch, his chest hot and his stomach cold.

Both of her hands were splayed about his neck now, trailing through the lowest layers of his hair as she deepened the kiss.

And while he was trying to recognize everything, experience everything of this new and amazing act, he hit a brick wall. This is wrong. And his mind was reeling backwards.

He broke the kiss staggeringly, his chest heaving with ragged breaths. Yenshi folded upon herself, hugging herself and leaning forward on her knees, her head bowed.

"I'm so sorry, Haku!" Her voice was about as rough as his felt. "I'm so sorry. It's not your fault; you don't understand what just…" She said quickly. "I don't know what—what came over me." She ran a shaky hand through her hair, still not daring to look up at him.

He recalled an evening one night just barely after he had arrived:

"She's rebounding." Chihiro said to Yenshi across the kitchen island where her roommate was doing dishes. "I mean, it's natural, but she takes it to an extreme. It's none of my business, but it's affecting work, and then it becomes part of my life too, ya know?"

Haku turned to Chihiro with, "Rebounding?"

She had smiled.

"Rebounding is when you've been dating someone and break up, and then go after everyone in sight." Yenshi said, to which Chihiro snorted.

"Not quite. It's like, because you've broken up and are hurt, and sometimes feel the need to have someone else in your life, you strive to fill the empty place with someone else." And, she added sarcastically, "Anyone else. Anyone else in sight." The girls had laughed at that remark before the subject was changed.

And so now he was experiencing this in real life, he knew. It was apparent at the suddenness in everything, her current emotional state, and the tears that were now spilling lightly down her cheeks.

He put a comforting hand on her shoulder and assured her it was all right, not to trouble herself about it.

"It's natural, right now. Especially at the injustice you were given. Hurt and pain are hand and hand together for you—but only for a little while. Time will heal your wounds." And he gave her a smile. One that ignored what had just occurred, one that offered friendship.

She, her eyes no longer streaming with tears, returned a little smile.