DON'T OWN JL

There was nothing I could say.

Nothing I wanted to say. I wanted to curl up into a little ball and die. To be free from the truth, the knowledge that everyone I ever knew was dead.

Dead. Every time I say the word it seems surreal, like a false truth. Death has been something I know a lot about.

When I entered the room with you, it was the first time you let your mask slip. Let the real you out and it scared me.

You fell to the floor, not caring that I was still there. I stared down at you, not knowing what to say. Words of comfort seemed useless and pitiful. I know sooner or later I will be in the same position. But not now, I am still in shock.

Smiling faces burnt to ash by the explosion. Limbs disconnected from their bodies surrounding us; the only two far enough to only get singed by the roaring flames.

The fastest among us could not even escape, the strongest, the smartest, the smallest…all of them were doomed to the same fate.

You let out a half-choked sob and now reality is catching up with me. I dropped to one knee and raised a hand to my eyes.

The ash is still inside them and it burns, forcing tears out of my eyes, blinding me.

I have never cried like this. It looks like everything is under water and it's becoming harder to breathe.

You turned to look at me, your mask back in place. The only evidence of your true feelings being wiped away with a gloved hand.

Emotions are washing over me, threatening to overwhelm my being.

I can't think. I can't see. I can't breathe.

My world was shattered and now it's spinning. Everything's growing darker as I fall to the floor.

I can hear you cursing. Damning every higher being with a yell.

My mind is blank,

Why are you yelling?

What is wrong?

Don't we have somewhere to be?

You stop yelling and kneel down next to me, whispering the sad story of the truth.

A bomb? Yes, I remember that.

We were arguing with each other at the far side of the room, confident that the others could handle the situation.

You turned and your eyes went wide, you shouted, " No!" But your warning did not come in time.

The force of the blast sent us flying back and we were the furthest from the core.

My voice is hoarse from shouting and my throat continues to clench, disabling my ability to speak.

You're shaking me, begging me to come back to reality. But I don't want to. The truth hurts and it is killing me.

Physical pain has its limits but mental pain…that knows no boundaries.

I should have died with them. I should have been the one.

You keep telling me "no" or "don't believe that"

Why are you lying to me? Haven't we both suffered enough?

You stand up and extend your hand, helping me up from the ground.

" They are gone but not forgotten." You remind me.

You are right. Some had families that we will now watch over, others had similar duties that we can fulfill.

I know you don't believe in God, but sometimes I have to believe that there is a reason for everything. If I didn't… I don't think I would have lasted this long.

I have to trust that they are in a better place.

I have to believe that they want us to live on.

My friends are gone but they are not forgotten.

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SORRY. I WAS IN A DARK KINDA MOOD.