Fallen II

Thanks to my beta: Crikkita

Where will you go.

With no one left to save you from yourself

Harry awoke when he felt something linger against his cheek. At first he leaned into the touch, but then he realised where he was and snapped his eyes open. Above him he saw Draco Malfoy's face.

Harry wondered how he had managed to fall asleep. He had told himself over and over again that he would not fall asleep in the bed of his enemy, but obviously sleep had taken over his mind.

Harry looked away, away from Draco's cold eyes.

"Have it your way," Draco sneered, throwing some kind of paper toward Harry and stepping out of the bed.

Harry grabbed his glasses to take a better look at the paper. It was 'The Daily Prophet'.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is officially declared dead, the headline said.

Harry bit his lip and threw the paper away. He did not want to read about his own death. He rolled onto his side, ignoring Draco completely. He did not want Draco to see his reaction, his shock. The wizarding world had given up on him. They were going to leave him here, forever. There was a heavy weight on his chest, making it almost impossible for Harry to breathe. The thought of facing the future without his friends, without the ones that he loved so much, was unbearable.

The bed behind him creaked and Harry took in a sharp breath. He remembered Draco's words before he left far too well. He wondered what he should do. Fight Malfoy? He would be in deep trouble if he did, but what was the point of living only to be used for sex?

"Don't you dare to touch me," Harry growled, turning around. He gasped when he saw that Draco was as naked as he was.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Like what you see?" he asked, smirking.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no!" Harry exclaimed, backing off. "I am not having sex with you!"

"That's the whole point of being a slave, Potter." Draco rolled his eyes. "You'll have to get used to it, since you're going to be my slave for a while, and I happen to like fucking a lot."

Harry clenched his jaw and cast Draco a dangerous look. "I swear that if you touch me with so much as one finger, I'll kill you!"

"Oh no, you won't," Draco said balancing his wand on one finger. "You won't be able to."

Before he could blink, Harry found himself tied up on the bed, unable to move his hands or legs. He had been too slow to avoid Draco's curse.

Draco crawled closer, like a cat, until he was sitting on top of Harry's hips. "Don't worry, it won't hurt - that much," he said with a smirk.

Harry saw to his disgust that Draco was hard, and looked away. He refused to watch his own humiliation. He struggled against the invisible ropes around his arms and legs, but he couldn't move. There was no point in wasting his energy on trying, but he was past the point of being angry. He was scared. He bit his lip hard, tasting his own salty blood. When he felt Draco settling between his legs, he panicked.

Harry suppressed a shiver as Draco's chest slid down over his. He had thought just being naked was humiliating, but it had been nothing compared to this. He felt his nose sting from unshed tears and clenched his jaw even harder. He would not cry.

Draco pushed inside Harry, not taking any care to avoid causing him harm and Harry's eyes shot open even wider. Pain coursed through his body.

Harry did not dare to look at Draco, did not wish to see the probable amusement in Draco's eyes. He knew that he could not bear that sight. The hurt was nearly unbearable, both the physical and the mental.

Draco began to move, their chests sliding against each other. Draco's movements and the tension between their bodies caused Harry to get physically aroused. Harry could feel the prickling sensation and felt disgusted by the reaction of his own body. Every time Draco moved back into him, pain and humiliation rushed over Harry like a wave.

Harry was sure that all Draco wanted to do was hurt him. Draco hadn't even prepared him. Harry knew for sure that he was bleeding.

Never before in his whole life had Harry felt so used. Of course, after everything he'd had to do for the Light side, there had been times when he'd felt that he was nothing more than a pawn in a game between Voldemort and Dumbledore.

Now he felt not only used, but dirty, like a piece of rubbish to be thrown away afterwards. He cried silent tears as he tried to find some point in the room where he could focus, to distract himself from what was happening to him.

Weak from pain and humiliation, Harry lay, knowing he was doing what he was going to have to do for the rest of his life, however long that might be.

Reality slipped away and Harry found himself watching himself. He did not feel, he could only seeHe felt enchanted by this new and strange reality. Though he did not know if it was magic guiding him away from the pain and into his own thoughts.

Suddenly Draco collapsed on top of him, panting heavily. Harry was jerked back into the reality he had managed to escape for a few minutes.

Harry tried to remember if he'd felt Draco emptying himself inside him, but couldn't remember a thing. He was grateful for that.

Draco did not move for a long time and Harry began to wonder whether Draco had fallen asleep. Draco's body was sweaty and he had stopped panting. Harry wanted to throw Draco off him and hurt Draco as badly as Draco had hurt him.

Harry felt terribly sore. He wanted desperately to take a bath and wash Draco's sweaty body off him, together with the memory of what had just happened. Maybe he could ask Draco to erase his memory, but then he would have to go through the first time again. Not knowing what to expect and that might be worse than a second time.

Harry licked his dry lips and tasted salt. He wondered if he had cried. The thought of Draco seeing him cry made him feel weak, so he hoped it was just sweat, but somehow he found that hard to believe. He had not moved enough to have perspired

Harry shivered. He was getting cold, even though Draco was still lying on top of him. The sheets were miles away and he was still tied to this accursed bed.

Draco's panting had stopped and he was now breathing normally.

Harry felt the urge to scream and startle Draco awake, but didn't dare, for fear of a second assault. Never in his life did he want to go through something like that again. How could someone be so incredibly inhuman as to do such a thing to another human being? Could he not see the effect that his actions had on his victim?

The dirty feeling would not go away for a long, long time. He couldn't imagine being able to enjoy having sex now, even if he had the opportunity to do it with someone he chose.

Tears came in Harry's eyes when he realised that Draco had stolen his first sexual experience. He had always imagined it to be terribly romantic. He hadn't planned to sleep with anyone until he was absolutely sure. Now he wished he had; it would have been better than this. Anything was better than this.

Quiet sobs weren't to be stopped, and Harry cried. When Draco started to move again, Harry held in his breath and buried his face as deep in a pillow as possible. Slowly, Draco slid out of him and sat back.

Harry felt that Draco was watching him. He could feel Draco's eyes burn into his skin. He didn't move one inch, he did not even breathe.

When Draco released his body from the bed, Harry curled into a little ball. He didn't even cover himself with the sheets. He just wanted to fall into a deep, black hole and never come out of it again.

Harry felt Draco step out of the bed, and a few seconds later heard the bath fill itself. His eyes snapped open. This was his chance, maybe, while Draco's attention was elsewhere, and he could just jump out of the window. If he survived the fall he could run away. If he didn't, it would be better that way.

Harry stepped out of the bed and ran to the window. Relieved that the spells around the bed were gone, he pulled the window open and took in the cold air.

"Don't even think about it," Draco exclaimed behind him, when Harry had placed his foot on the window sill.

Draco ran towards him and Harry was once again slightly amused by the look on Draco's face. Draco grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the bathroom. Once they were there, he pushed Harry into the bath.

"You have got to stop doing that," Draco said angrily.

"You cannot control me, Malfoy," Harry spat, swimming to the edge of the pool.

"Yes, I can." Draco growled, getting into the bath as well.

"I'll end my life sometime." Harry argued, backing away as Malfoy got closer. "Did you think I would want to live, after what you did to me?"

Draco looked slightly shocked. "Oh, don't blame this on me, Potter. You're the mental, suicidal one here."

Harry glared. He could feel the hatred boil in his blood. "You. Did. This. To. Me. And there's no way in Hell I'm going to let you do it again." Harry said forcefully, trapped in a corner of the pool.

Draco walked closer and closer until he stood in front of Harry. "Potter, you are my slave. I will do with you as I wish," Draco said calmly. "Now sit still,"

Harry frowned when Draco began to wash him. "Get your hands off me!" Harry exclaimed, pushing Draco away. "First you use me for a sex toy and then you wash me. Your idea of normal human interaction is severely disturbed"

"Do you want me to tie you up again?" Draco asked, with his hands on his hips.

"I just want you to leave me alone." Harry said slowly, staring Draco directly in the eye.

"And let you kill yourself? I don't think so Potter. I don't trust you anymore." Draco said. "Now stand still or I'll tie you up again."

Harry looked away again, as Draco got closer and began to rub his chest. Harry began to tremble.

"Would you stop crying? You're disturbing me," Draco snarled, after a while.

"I'm not crying," Harry growled.

"Yes you are." Draco said. "That isn't a raindrop falling from your cheek."

Harry wiped away the tear and shot Draco a murderous look. "I hate you."

"Well thank you. I hate you too," Draco responded, smirking.

"You make me sick," Harry tried again.

"Well don't feel too sorry for yourself. You make me sick, and I got stuck with you for my slave. Imagine what that must be like." Draco said.

"I'd rather make you my slave, than be yours," Harry spat.

"Well, maybe we'll do some role-playing next time." Draco smiled a little too sweetly.

"Go to Hell, Malfoy!" Harry growled.

"And join you? I don't think so." Draco said, remaining icily calm.

"You'd rather have me suffering my whole life, than end it now," Harry said, taken aback at the realisation.

"Well of course," Draco responded with a smirk.

No one seems to hear your hidden cries...

You're left to face yourself alone.

Harry was lying on Draco's bed once again. He wasn't so hungry anymore. Draco had forced him to eat, even though he had tried to refuse, thinking that starving to death was the only way to escape this place.

The day had passed by slowly and now the night had fallen again.

Harry didn't move when he heard Draco return to the room.

"Normally, slaves sleep on the ground," Draco began, not even looking whether Harry was still awake or not. "but you're allowed to stay in my bed for tonight."

"Oh I'm so grateful," Harry answered sarcastically. "How I would love to lie in the same bed as you and have you use me against my will yet another time "

Draco grinned. "You've got a sense of humour, Potter. I never noticed that before."

Draco walked to the bathroom, obviously to prepare himself to go to bed. Harry closed his eyes, praying to no one in particular that what had happened earlier that day would not repeat itself.

Draco walked back in the room, wearing black silk boxers, and stepped into the other side of the four poster. Luckily, there was room enough in the bed that Harry didn't have to touch Draco in any way.

"Ok. Listen to me, Potter." Draco said, sitting next to him.

Harry didn't move or say anything.

"I will not allow you to make any more attempts to kill yourself, or anything like that. I've placed the spells around the bed again and will be watching you. Or, well, our house elf will be watching you." Draco said.

"Aw. It's almost as if you really care." Harry replied.

Draco snorted. "Almost, Potter. Almost."

Harry closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep. The thought of someone watching him all the time wasn't really encouraging his sleep, but after what seemed like a few hours, Harry finally fell asleep.

I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge

the nightmare I built my own world to escape

Harry didn't know how late it was, but he woke suddenly, very aware of the arm wrapped around his chest. He waited until his eyes were adapted to the light before looking to see that Draco was lying dangerously close.

He tried to push Draco away from him, but his efforts only yielded the opposite effect. Draco snuggled closer and cuddled against him, almost like a small child.

A feeling Harry could not place rushed through his veins. Even Malfoy looked vulnerable in his sleep. Harry looked around the room, searching for the house elf that was supposed to be watching him.

"Is Harry Potter awake, sir?" A high voice whispered next to him.

"Yes." Harry answered, remembering Dobby. Maybe the house elf was his way out.

"Harry Potter must not blame Master Draco." the house elf continued.

Harry frowned. "Blame him for what?"

"For what Master Draco is doing to Harry Potter, sir." the answer came.

"Why shouldn't I blame him?" Harry spat. There was no way he was going to let Draco off the hook.

" Master Draco is only behaving according to the culture in which he was raised, sir." The house elf squeaked.

"Well, that's too bad." Harry spat again. "It was his choice to do what he did."

"Libby understands that Harry Potter has a hard time understanding, sir. Libby only hopes that Harry Potter will understand one time and not condemn Master Draco for his actions." Libby said.

Harry frowned at the disappearing house elf. Condemn Malfoy for his actions? If only he could do that. Malfoy was doing exactly the same to him. He could not blame Draco's actions only on his background. There were choices he'd made and he'd picked the wrong way.

Harry almost yelped when Draco's leg locked itself around his own. Now it seemed as if Draco was clinging to him. Every time Harry tried to push Draco away, Draco snuggled closer and held him tighter.

Harry had almost fallen asleep again when Draco started to scream.

"No! No! No! No! I beg you, NO!" Draco yelled.

"What the fuck!" Harry exclaimed.

Draco whimpered and buried his face in Harry's neck. Now Harry couldn't make out the words anymore, but it sounded as if Draco was having a terrible nightmare.

'Serves him right,' Harry thought.

Draco was clinging to him almost painfully now, so Harry decided to wake him up.

"Malfoy!" Harry yelled, shaking Draco's frame.

Draco woke up abruptly and blinked a few times, obviously confused. When he realised where he was and whom he was holding, Draco let go of Harry and looked somewhat disgusted.

"What was that for?" Draco demanded.

"Well, you were yelling in my ear and clinging to me as if you were a helpless baby." Harry stated.

"I did no such thing!" Draco exclaimed.

"How would you know? You were sleeping!" Harry snapped back.

"Don't you yell at me," Draco threatened, grabbing his wand.

Harry regarded Draco's wand, completely unimpressed. "What, are you going to cast nasty spells?" Harry asked, with mock fear.

"No, I'm going to tie you up to my bed again." Draco said.

Harry's fake expression of fear was replaced by a genuine one. He stared at Draco, completely speechless. Could Draco really mean to do that again?

"No, I won't let you." Harry said shaking his head.

"That's too bad. You've made me want some." Draco said and cast the spells.

Once again, Harry found himself tied up to the bed, unable to move. Although he refused to beg Draco not to do it, he was trembling with fear. His mind was playing with him, it seemed as if he lost his ability to think in his fear. The only thing he wanted was for this moment to pass by, to be lifeless for the few minutes this physical pain would last.

Draco slid his arms underneath Harry's back, holding his shoulders with his hands. This time, he entered Harry a bit more slowly, but Harry was still very sore from the last time. The difference in force didn't make this time any less painful. Harry clutched the sheets and focussed on one point, waiting for the assault to be over. This time the world did not slip away.

Harry's concentration was disturbed when something wet dripped on his chest.

"Ew. Malfoy are you drooling?" Harry asked looking at his enemy. His eyes widened in shock when he saw that Draco was crying.

Draco had his eyes shut and was sobbing quietly. His shoulders and chest were shaking softly. He collapsed on top of Harry and buried his face once again in Harry's neck.

Harry had no idea what to do. Never in his life he had seen Draco cry. Although he wasn't so heartless as not to be touched by this, he didn't want to hold or comfort Draco in any way. Besides, he was still tied up and couldn't move.

Draco continued to sob harder until his whole body began to shake. Harry felt the tears run over his neck to the pillow.

"Damn it all!" Draco cursed against Harry's neck.

"Totally agree with you." Harry couldn't help saying.

Draco snorted into Harry's neck, causing him to yelp.

"Ew! Malfoy!" Harry exclaimed.

"Oops," Draco laughed. He started to lick Harry's neck clean.

"Malfoy! That's even more disgusting!" Harry exclaimed. "Get off me!"

Draco sat up and slid out of Harry, not looking at him. "I'm too tired for this," he answered Harry's unspoken question. "If you tell Lucius, I'll make your life a living Hell."

"No need for that, Malfoy. My life already is a living hell." Harry growled.

"I'll make it even worse." Draco threatened.

"Alright, alright. I won't, it's not like I'll get anything in return anyway." Harry said.

'That was beyond any doubt the most bizarre moment I've ever experienced...' Harry thought, when Draco turned away from him after releasing him from the spells.

swallowed up in the sound of my screaming

cannot cease for the fear of silent nights

oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming

the goddess of imaginary light

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