Fallen VI

I'm sorry if this chapter sucks. It's boring and short, I know. I'm just trying to show Draco's side of the story.

~*~

I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can't even hear me screaming

~*~

He opened the door and saw a pieces of a mirror lying in a pool of blood. Next to him Harry lay on the floor in the same pool. His wrists pressed against his chest. His eyes shut... smiling

"Oh Fuck!" Draco yelled, completely in shock. His hands started to tremble, his mind went blank. He didn't know what to do. Harry Potter was lying on the floor, welcoming death with a smile.

Draco rushed towards Harry and collapsed next to the boy. He took Harry's wrist and saw that blood was still floating out of the cut. He closed his hand around it, hoping it would stop. "Potter." He tried.

No response.

Draco let go of one arm and pressed his hand against Harry's neck, checking Harry's pulse. There was none, he couldn't feel a thing. Harry's skin was cold, too cold.

Anger rushed over Draco. "Potter! Potter!" He yelled, slapping Harry's cheek.

Again no sign.

Draco grabbed his wand. He had no idea what kind of spell to perform. He spoke a few healing spells, closing Harry's cuts. It didn't have any effect, for Harry'd lost too much blood already.

"You're so cold," Draco said softly, taking Harry's hands in his. He started rubbing the boy's hands. He didn't know if it had any effect.

He couldn't go to his father, Lucius would let Harry die. Lucius would see the care for Harry in his eyes and kill the boy in front of him. He'd done that before. To make him stronger.

~*~

Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.

All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me

~*~

Draco decided that he had to get Harry out of the bathroom, out of this bloody mess. He carefully lifted Harry and carried him to his bedroom. Harry was hanging lifeless in his hands. There was no sign of life in the boy. Was Harry already dead?

Draco bit his lip, placing Harry's body on his bed. He didn't care that his sheets got dirty. He didn't care about anything, as long as Harry came back to him.

"Please, don't be dead. Potter!" Draco begged, covering the boy with blankets. Never in his life, Draco had felt so worried and so helpless. "Libby! Libby!" Draco called his house elf. Maybe she knew what to do.

With a plop the house elf stood beside him. "Yes Master Draco?" she asked calmly, not noticing Harry.

"Libby! Can't you see that Harry is dying! Do something!" Draco yelled, pointing at Harry. He covered his mouth with his hand, only to discover that it was covered with blood. He didn't take the time to wipe away the blood.

"What does Master Draco want me to do?" Libby asked, looking at Harry.

"To Bloody Save him!"  Draco yelled. "He lost a lot of blood. He needs to receive more blood,"

"Harry Potter is on his way to after-life, Master. Master really wants me to bring him back?" Libby asked shivering.

"Yes!" Draco yelled.

Libby started to tremble, but placed her hands upon Harry's chest and closed her eyes.

Draco watched her. She started glowing a bit but other than that, nothing happened.

Libby's eyes snapped open again. "Harry Potter is not wanting to come back to life." she said sadly. "He says you no longer control his life and that you should leave him alone."

"But he has to come back!" Draco said, blinking to force back his tears. "Try again,"

Libby sighed and placed her hands upon Harry's chest again, only to open them a second later. "Harry Potter says sod off," Libby said, stepping away from Harry's body.

"What am I to do? I want Harry back. Can't you force him?" Draco asked, tears rolling over his cheeks.

Libby bit her lip. "Libby can force Harry Potter, but Libby is not wanting to force Harry Potter. Master Draco is hurting Harry Potter badly. Libby is not wanting to see that again," Libby said softly.

Draco grabbed Libby by her shoulders. "I need you to get Harry! I promise I won't hurt him again. Please don't let him die!" Draco cried.

Libby pressed her lips together, while tears came into her eyes. "Master Draco will promise?" she asked.

"Yes, I promise." Draco sighed.

Libby placed her hands on Harry's chest for the third time and closed her eyes.

Draco sat on the bed and crawled towards Harry, sitting on the other side. He saw that Libby started to tremble and glow. "Please come back, Please." Draco whispered. He didn't dare to touch Harry, while Libby was doing her thing, but he wanted to.

Draco could see that Libby was clenching her jaws together, sweat appeared on her little forehead. This was taking long, but he had no idea how long it would take. He looked around and saw the portrait in his room coming back. Quickly he closed the curtains around his bed. He didn't want his father to know about Harry's attempt to kill himself.

Now he was sitting in the dark with a glowing house elf. Harry wasn't showing any signs and Draco was beginning to get worried.

"Harry, Harry, please come back." He whispered again, not knowing what to say or do. He felt so helpless. The only thing he needed was dying in front of him.

Then suddenly Libby's eyes snapped open and she collapsed on the floor. Draco yelped in shock and leaned over Harry to see if she was alright.

"Libby, Libby." He called. Luckily the house elf stirred and crawled back on her feet. "Did it work?" He didn't know how hard his heart was racing, but it wasn't normal.

Libby shook her head. "Harry Potter is stubborn sir. Harry Potter is standing on the edge. Master Draco has to give Harry Potter reason to live." Libby whispered, expecting Draco to punish her.

"What must I do?" Draco asked, confused.

"Harry Potter feels and hears, Master Draco. Master Draco has to figure out himself." Libby said, getting ready to plop away.

"Wait! I do not know what to do. Can't you help me?" Draco asked desperately.

"Libby cannot, Master Draco. Libby is sorry," Libby said, vanishing in front of him.

Draco sat back on the bed, looking at Harry. Harry's hear was still soaked in blood, so was his back. He tentatively removed a few strings of hair out of Harry's face. He felt so alone. He didn't know if he could still save Harry. Harry didn't want to be saved, to Harry death was his rescuer not Draco.

"God Damn it, Harry!" Draco swore, covering his face with his hands. Tears came flowing out of his eyes again. He burried his face into Harry's neck.

He noticed a slight pulse and sighed. He sat back, realising Harry wouldn't like the fact that Draco touched him.

"Harry... I don't know what to say," Draco admitted. While the tears didn't seem to stop. "I know what you feel and felt. I do, ... I did and yet I didn't stop. I didn't stop when I hurt you and I hurt you so bad."

"You think I don't care and I shouldn't I know."

"What I did was wrong. I know and I won't try to think up excuses. But Inside I'm Dying too, Praying everything will stop, Bleeding, Screaming. I always thought I was too lost to be saved from this hell. That when you're brought up surrounded my evil and dark things, you can't step out of it. I sold my soul just to hide the light. I used it as an excuse for so many things, towards myself and towards others. I now realise that it isn't." Draco sighed softly. "And I wonder will you be on the other side or will you forgive me..."

"Can you forgive me, now? After all I did to you? I heard your words come out. I felt like I would die. It hurt so much to hurt you. When you look in my eyes,  I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry. I never had the courage to say it to you," Draco said, grabbing Harry's hand.

"I know what it's like to long for death. Yet I didn't do my best to stop you," Draco whispered, placing a soft kiss upon Harry's fingers. Tasting Harry's blood.

"I haven't said anything yet that will make you come back. I know I'm just babbling. I'm just not good in doing these things." Draco smiled weakly. "I just wish that you'd come back and not leave me here all alone." A loud sob escaped Draco's lips. For a few minutes he couldn't do anything, but cry. He burried his face into Harry's chest to smell Harry's scent.

Harry was lying beside him so lifeless and he was so hopeless. He didn't know what to say or what to do. He just wanted Harry to come back.

~*~

I can't run anymore,
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.

~*~

When his tears had dried out, he sat up again. Harry was getting colder and paler.

"I've got to warm you up," Draco said more to himself than to Harry. He took one of Harry's cold icy hands between his hands and tried to warm Harry up. He blew some warm air in his hands. He was getting more desperate by the minute. He searched for the right words to say, but couldn't find any.

"I'll do anything if you come back. You can hurt me, make me bleed. Just don't leave me here all alone. My life is a hell, just like yours. I'm not allowed to go out of the house. I'm to marry some rich snobbish spoiled pretty girl, whom I do not love. My father is ashamed of me and tries to turn me straight by hurting and destroying everything I love. I'm not allowed to see my mother, because she'll make me weak. He thinks it's my mother's fault that I turned out to be gay. I think he punished her, but I haven't seen her so I don't know. He thought I would turn straight after I had you. That's why he brought you to me. He thought that maybe because I hate you so much, I'd turn straight. He's a fool and I do not hate you." Draco whispered.

"I wonder if you know how it feels. How it feels like when your father is ashamed of you. All my life I've tried to make him proud. Now he's ashamed of me, because I'm gay. Something I cannot change. I'm not strong enough."

"I don't know what I feel for you. It hurt me to hurt you, yet I cannot stop myself from doing so. Every time I hurt you I tell myself I won't do it again, but then the anger towards everything is so uncontrollable that I take it out on you. Together with this weird craving for you, I can't stop myself."

To Draco's surprise Harry stirred slightly. "Harry? Harry!" he said, but Harry remained silent.

Draco smiled slightly. "I promise I won't hurt you. I promised Libby that too. I'll take it out on something else... maybe myself? Because I deserve nothing more than hurting. I disgust myself. I really do."

"From the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted you. As a friend or just close to me, to protect me. You rejected me and I got mad. I didn't know how to get rid of this urge, so I made your life hell. Tried anyway. Yet I still craved to be you. You always seemed so happy with your friends. It just seemed so unfair. You had it all, and I had nothing." Draco bit his lip. He was still holding Harry's hand in his hands.

"So I'm really just a screwed up person. With screwed up idea's and screwed up ways to express himself. A few days ago I got a new chance to show to you that I'm not what you think I am and I screwed it up again. When you came here you opened healing wounds again. I should have left you alone."

Harry hadn't moved and Draco sighed.

"I've failed." He whispered hoarsely, failing to hold back his tears. "You left me alone."

The smile on Harry's lips had faded away. Draco caressed Harry's cheek with two fingers. Shocked by the coldness of his skin. He tried to engrave Harry's face in a memory. Harry's beautiful features.

"I wonder if you ever really realised how beautiful you are... were," Draco whispered, covering Harry's hand with warm tears.

He pressed his lips together and wondered how nuts he must be if he longed to kiss a dead person. Yet the urge was too big to kiss Harry once more, before he called his father.

Shaking, he leaned over Harry and cupped Harry's cheek with one hand. Slowly and softly giving Harry his last kiss. Harry's lips beneath his were cold, but soft. Draco wetened them, making his kiss as long as possible. His tears fell upon Harry's cheeks.

As if Draco was crying for Harry.

Draco released Harry's lips from his, kissing both of Harry's cheeks and his hands. After that he sat back up and whiped away his tears.

"Goodbye Harry. I'll never forget you. I'll always wish that I'm as strong as you were..."

~*~

How can you see into my eyes
like open doors.
Leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home.

I can't wake up.
Wake me up inside.
Save me.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Wake me up.
Bid my blood to run.
I can't wake up.
Before I come undone.
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become

~*~

Draco stepped from the bed. He wanted to cover Harry's face with the sheets, but he just couldn't. He couldn't, he was weak once again.

Touching Harry for the last time, he forced himself to turn around and walk away.

"I'm still here."

~*~

TBC...

I used Evanescence Lyrics in Draco's words too.

Please Review.