Usual disclaimers... drat!

Well... I guess this was going to happen sooner or later...

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Chapter 42 - Muddy-foot Marriage

Bessie turned to face Jack, realising the enormity of what she had just agreed to. "This is not how I thought I would marry," she admitted. "In a plain dress, bare muddy feet and no undergarments..." She smiled ruefully. "I look a mess!"

Jack held her at arms length. She was soaked, her dress only marginally kept dry by his old coat, the fabric clinging to her legs. Her pale blonde hair hung in rats-tails around her face, water dripping from the ends to the grey stone floor. "I'm soaked too," Jack laughed quietly, "so it hardly matters..." He brushed a strand of hair from her face. "If yer want I'll marry yer again an' I'll dress yer like a Queen," he tempted. "On an English speaking island though so I can understand what I'm agreein' to!" he teased. "Flowers, jewellery, silk..." He paused, hearing footsteps. Father Buystelman had returned in clean robes, an ornate stole across his shoulders.

"I presume you are ready?" he asked, sighing when Bessie nodded. "Well, let's get this over with," he muttered with ill grace. "We are gathered here today, in the sight of our Lord Jesus Christ to celebrate the marriage of..." He looked at Jack. "What is your name?" he asked, waiting briefly whilst Bessie translated.

"Jack Sparrow," Jack answered.

Father Buystelman began again. "We are gathered here today, in the sight of our Lord Jesus Christ to celebrate the marriage of Jack Sparrow to Baltje van den Velde..."

"Elizabeth!" Bessie interrupted. "My name is Elizabeth Masters! You know that Father! Baltje was a nickname and my mother's maiden name is not my name either!"

"You're an Elizabeth too?" Jack gasped. "I never knew..."

"Bessie is a pet name," she smiled. "And the one I prefer..."

"If the two of you are actually ready?" Father Buystelman interrupted.

"Sorry Father," Bessie apologised contritely.

"Humph!" he snorted, looking skywards for support. He sighed heavily before starting a third time. "We are gathered here today, in the sight of our Lord Jesus Christ to celebrate the marriage of Jack Sparrow to Elizabeth Masters according to the holy scriptures with the formal ceremony of the giving of a ring. Repeat after me... I Jack, take you Elizabeth, to be my wedded wife..."

Bessie helped Jack as he stumbled his way through the words in Dutch, eventually managing to say them to the satisfaction of the priest. "I Jack, take... you Elizabeth, to be my... wedded wife."

"To have and to hold from this day forward..." he continued.

"To have..." Jack stuttered, "and to hold... from this day f..."

"Forward," Bessie prompted.

"Forward," Jack mangled. "Can't we do this in English," he hissed.

Father Buystelman sighed. "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer..." he intoned.

"For better, for wo... worse, for richer, for p... poorer." Jack thought he was getting quite good at saying 'for'.

"In sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part..." the priest sighed, glad that the ceremony was nearly complete. He had never heard such a horrendous accent before.

"In sick... sickness or in h... h... health." Jack at last managed the word. "To love and to ch... cherish 'till death do us part."

"And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness for as long as we both shall live." Father Buystelman waited to hear him say faithfulness, wanting him to mangle it beyond understanding.

"And here... hereto I pledge... pledge you my faithfulness for as long as we both shall live!" Jack grinned in delight, realising that his ordeal was over as the priest turned to Bessie. Her vows went much smoother - and an awful lot quicker - although she looked nervous. Finally he gave Jack back his ring, gesturing for him to slide it onto Bessie's finger. He wrapped his stole around their hands, murmuring a blessing before looking at them. "I now declare you man and wife," he said sadly. He turned and left without another word.

"Is that it?" Jack frowned. Bessie nodded. "Well we should get yer back t' th' ship..." He grinned as he slipped his arm around her waist, kissing her deeply. "Mistress Sparrow!"

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Jack walked with Bessie through the town and back past the Customs House to the staircase. He smiled on seeing the Black Pearl sitting peacefully in Ladder Bay. "Let's get yer home," he smiled, nodding to Jan Berijssoen as they started downwards. His shoulder blades itched as they descended, the return journey much easier on Bessie. Eventually pebbles crunched beneath their feet and he carefully led her towards the boat. The men looked up eagerly as they approached.

"Did you get the map?" Lucas Combe asked hopefully.

"I think that can wait until we get back to th' Pearl," Jack cautioned. "An' out of this rain! Some things are not as simple as we'd like..." He helped Bessie climb into the boat before assisting the crew in pushing off.

"Captain?" Lucas puzzled.

"Wait fer th' crew meetin'," Jack advised. "We'll be back in a few minutes!"

Reluctantly Lucas nodded, putting his back into the rowing. Soon they bumped against the hull of the ship and Jack helped Bessie climb onto deck. "Soon it'll be th' bosun's chair fer yer Missy!" he teased, seeing how awkwardly she clambered up. Joshamee Gibbs leaned over, giving her a helping hand from above.

"Well?" he asked eagerly as Jack scrambled up behind her.

"Crew meeting once Bessie's dry" Jack ordered, wrapping his arm around her and steering her towards the cabin., locking the door quickly behind them. "Get changed quickly luv, they won't wait fer long..." He smiled as she slipped out of her clothes, wrapping his arms possessively about her as she walked past him. "Yer look temptin'..." he grinned, "Mistress Sparrow!"

"I thought you said get changed?" she protested.

"Aye, unfortunately I did," Jack said ruefully. "But as soon as th' meetin' is over I intend t' consummate m' marriage... savvy?" He held her hand in his, looking at his ring. "I'll have t' get Bristow t' make it fit." He sighed regretfully. "I wanted t' give yer a special ring... but it's too late now t' change it."

"It is a beautiful ring Jack," Bessie smiled. "Even if it is a little large..." She slipped from his grasp, disappearing in the side cabin to search for dry clothes. "Are you not changing?"

"I'll get dry later," Jack said, watching from the doorway as she dressed. "Come here.. I'll do yer laces." With a minimum of roving hands, Jack helped her, handing her a blanket from the bunk. "Wrap this around yer too... I don't want yer catchin' cold." Only once he was sure she was dry and warm did he reach into his jacket for the map, carefully unwrapping it from the scrap of sail which had thankfully kept it dry from the rain. "Alright, let's have th' meetin'..." Jack unlocked the cabin doors. "Stay just inside luv - yer'll keep drier that way."

Bessie nodded as Jack opened the door to reveal the crew waiting eagerly outside - Joshamee Gibbs to the front of the group. "Well Captain?" he pressed. "We know you got it..."

"Aye," Jack acknowledged. "I've got th' map..." He paused as a ragged cheer spread around the deck. "I've got th' map but it's useless!"

"What?" Joshamee gasped, his disbelief echoed in the faces around him.

"The map shows a bay, shows where th' treasure is... but it doesn't say where the bloody bay is!" Jack explained. "All it says is 'Where I last saw m' treasure!' which neither Bessie nor I have a clue about!" The crew muttered amongst themselves at the news.

"So we've got the map but don't know where it is?" Paul Barker puzzled.

"That is basically it," Jack shrugged, handing him the map. "Unless yer know where this is? Put it up next t' th' galley an' let everyone have a look at it... perhaps somebody will recognise something."

"Aye Captain," Paul nodded, staring at the map himself.

He turned to Joshamee who was peering over Paul's shoulder. "Gibbs, set course fer Tortuga. Regardless of th' map I'm in a mood t' celebrate..."

"Celebrate?" Joshamee frowned as Jack walked back to his cabin, reaching to close the doors.

"Aye, celebrate!" He grinned. "Now if yer gentlemen will excuse me, I've m' marriage t' consummate!" He shut the doors quickly, turning the lock only seconds before Joshamee started to bang on it, demanding entrance.

"Jack!" he shouted.

"Sod off!" Jack replied. "I'll be out later!"

Paul Barker looked at Joshamee in amazement. "He did just say what I think he did... didn't he?"

Joshamee looked at the stunned faces of the men around him. "Aye," he gasped in disbelief. "It seems that our Captain has gotten himself married..." Ribald cheers echoed around the decks. "So let's get to Tortuga so we can celebrate properly... weigh anchor!" The crew hurried to obey.