A/N – Added 5/26/04:  A couple months ago I took this story down with no intention of going back to it.  But I guess I just couldn't let it go, so it's back.  Unfortunately, a lot of the files on my hard drive got accidentally deleted recently.  The first eight chapters which I have posted here were recovered.  Two of the later chapters got messed up and are lost.  I'm pretty sure I don't have a backup, but I've been keeping an eye out for it.  I wasn't very satisfied with those chapters anyway, so hopefully I can try something that will work out better this time around.  If you're a returning reader…thank you SOO much for sticking with me!!  There should be something new soon.  And if you didn't read this before, I hope you enjoy!

These characters aren't mine - I just borrowed them for a while.

OK this takes place shortly after No Strings Attached.

Big Rocket Smooch to Rain for editing this for me :o)

"Elizabeth, may I speak to you for a moment?"

Damn it she thought. She'd been so close to escaping without being caught. Grudgingly she turned back to the surgeon who'd questioned her. "Alright." She reluctantly followed Anspaugh back into his office.

When they reached his office Elizabeth sat down, hoping this would be quick. It'd been a long day and she desperately wanted to get home to Ella.

Anspaugh began, "I know its late so I'll make this brief. There's a conference in San Francisco that I want you to attend. Its regarding new procedures that can be performed using robot technology. I've spoken to Robert and he will also be attending. It's February 13-16, Thursday though Sunday."

"But that's less than a week away!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "I can't find someone to take care of Ella for that long on such short notice!"

He didn't seem to hear her and continued talking, "I have flights arranged for you and Robert leaving Wednesday night and coming back in the evening on Sunday. This will be a wonderful opportunity for you make your mark as Chief of Surgery right away by bringing...."

"Donald what are you talking about?!?" interrupted Elizabeth.

"What do you mean? I thought you would want the position" continued Anspaugh who still seemed oblivious to the source of her confusion.

"I mean, why is there a Chief of Surgery position opening up.." she trailed off as she realized what this meant.

"I spoke to Dr. Romano today and he is going to have to be removed from the surgical department. He's a liability, and there is just no way the hospital can afford to keep him on the surgical schedule when he can't perform simple procedures." Anspaugh continued, "You saw him yourself in that procedure with Jensen. He's unable to perform any type of surgery. And this is the only way I can see to completely eliminate that possibility; you know how stubborn Robert is. If he remains Chief of Surgery he'll still scrub in to observe, but do you really think if he's in an OR and the patient is in trouble he can really keep his hands out of the field? He was once a brilliant surgeon, one of the best I've ever seen, but those days are over now."

"So your firing him?" asked a still shocked Elizabeth.

"No. The board has decided that we are perfectly willing to let him stay on as Chief of Staff. He is just going to be relieved of some of his duties. He's still top dog in this hospital. Congratulations Elizabeth. The position is yours if you want it."

He stood up, indicating that the meeting was over and ended with, "I'll get you those plane tickets and hotel information by the end of the week. Oh, if you see Robert, would you tell him I'm looking for him. Goodbye."

"Bye," said Elizabeth as she exited his office, still trying to take in all the information she'd just received.

She gathered up her coat and purse and headed for the elevator, relieved to finally be getting out of there. Elizabeth made her way to her car, lost in thought. Part of her, ok, most of her was thrilled with the prospect of becoming Chief of Surgery. Elizabeth relished the thought of being in charge and showing up everyone who still thought of surgery as an old boys club and had always assumed that the only reason she was ever made Associate Chief was because she had Romano wrapped around her little finger.

"Damn, Romano!" she mumbled to herself. Although they'd had plenty of arguments in the past, he'd been a lot nicer lately. He'd been through a lot in the past year so and she hated to be the one to take away what he had always valued most. She was so busy thinking she hardly noticed the figure who fell in step beside her until he spoke.

"Lizzie! You called?"

"What! Damn it Robert, your not supposed to just sneak up on a person like that!"

"I said 'hi' but you seemed a little preoccupied." Robert put on his best pouty face, "You didn't even notice I was there." He continued normally, "However you did manage to swear my name. I can't think of anything today I've done to offend you so what gives?"

"Eh, ummm, nothing," stammered Elizabeth.

"Uh huh. Come on Lizzie, my dog can lie better than that. You talked to Donald didn't you? He told you about our little trip we have to take together. I know that spending the weekend with me isn't at the top of your list of things you'd like to do but we all have to make sacrifices."

"No, its not that, I mean..."

"Oh, so you do want to spend the weekend with me, well then I guess…"

"Robert!" exclaimed Elizabeth. "He did tell me about the conference we're going to but that wasn't what I was thinking about."

"Oh then please, enlighten me." By this time they had reached their cars which happened to be parked right next to each other.

Luckily for Elizabeth she'd had a chance come up with a better excuse. "Its just that right after I talked to Donald, Kris called and reminded me that she's taking a class tonight so she needs to leave soon. I'm just anxious to get home," she explained as she unlocked her car, hoping that he wouldn't push the subject. Now wasn't the time to talk to him about taking over his duties as Chief of Surgery.

"Alright, alright. Who am I to stand in the way of anyone getting an education. Go home and see your kid. Good night Elizabeth."

And with that he hopped in his Jag and peeled out of the garage.

"Good night," Elizabeth said softly, before getting into her own car and heading for home.

An hour later Robert pulled into his driveway, after running a couple of errands on his way home. He made his way into the house and was greeted by an exuberant Gretel.

"Hey girl," he said to the dog, "I know its late so I brought home a special treat for you." With that went into the kitchen and came back with what had to be the worlds largest rawhide bone. "You deserve it for putting up with me all the time," he mumbled to her. Gretel licked his hand gratefully and after carefully taking her prize, made her way into the study.

After putting everything away he followed her, and after pouring himself a drink plopped down on the couch. His thoughts immediately drifted to his earlier conversation with Elizabeth. He knew something was up; she was hiding something. Unfortunately he had a pretty good idea what it might be about. Earlier he'd run into Anspaugh coming out of a board meeting looking awfully pleased about something…and then immediately looking uncomfortable as soon as he saw Robert standing a few feet away. Later that day, Robert had received a message from Donald saying he had something very important to discuss as soon as possible. He was sure the meeting had been about him, and he wasn't looking forward to finding out what exactly had gone on in there.

Deciding to take his mind off work, Robert picked up one of the many journals that was strewn across his desk. After pouring himself another drink he settled down to read one of the many articles he'd been meaning to catch up on lately. He didn't get very far before the alcohol kicked in…his eyes got heavy and soon he was sound asleep.

It started out the same as always. It was happening again, except this time there was something different. There was the pain but when he fell away from the blade, he kept falling. No roof, no helicopter, no doctors, just dark empty space. Stretching in all directions around him. Then he heard people talking, he couldn't tell where they were coming from or what they were saying but somehow he knew that they were taunting him. He kept twisting and falling but it just kept closing in on him and he had nowhere to go. Until her heard a ringing noise which he made his way towards and…

He woke up shaking in a cold sweat and realized the phone was ringing. Robert looked over at the clock. 11:13pm. "Damn," he thought to himself, "I must have fallen asleep."

Against his better judgment he went ahead and answered the phone. "Hello."

An annoyingly perky voice answered, "Hi I'm calling to offer you the chance of a lifetime. Sign up today and…"

"Oh shut up," Robert snarled into the phone before slamming it down on his desk.

Gretel looked over at him nervously. "Its OK girl, I'm not mad at you. Damn telemarketers."

Slowly Robert headed for the stairs and bed, hoping that for once the dreams would stay away.

The next afternoon Robert spotted Elizabeth through the window of the surgical lounge. He hurried in to speak to her. He stopped in his tracks when he saw she was on the phone. Luckily she was finishing up her conversation.

"Thanks Kris, I should be home in an hour or so," he heard her say. "OK, see you then. Bye." She hung up and warily turned to face him.

"Robert…" Elizabeth began.

"God damn it Lizzie, why couldn't you have told me yourself?"

"You talked to Anspaugh?"

"Yes! I talked to Anspaugh! And you know what he told me? He said I should be grateful to have what I've got. That I'm lucky to have any job at all. I was one of the best damn surgeons until that helicopter came around."

Elizabeth started to say something but thought better of it. She decided her best bet was to just let Robert say everything he was going to say. There was no stopping him when he got like this.

"Now look at me!" Robert continued. "What have I got left? Nothing! I spent my whole life trying to prove myself. And for what? To get my arm chopped off while all I'm trying to do is save a man's life. I spend my whole life saving lives and then this happens."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "I don't know why I'm telling you about this. You're the one who's gained the most at my expense."

"Robert…"

"Come on Lizzie. I know all about you ambition."

"Robert! I didn't ask for Chief of Surgery."

"No? Well you certainly didn't turn it down did you?" Elizabeth said nothing. "I didn't think so."

"Oh come on Robert. What did you expect me to do? If it wasn't me it'd just be someone else."

"I know," he answered softly. "I'm just not ready to give up."

"But its not giving up," Elizabeth answered gently. "This is a chance for you to start over in a whole other direction."

"I don't want to change. I liked being the best at what I did. Nothing else holds the same thrill for me. Lizzie you're a surgeon, you understand. The feeling of holding someone's life in your hand."

"I know."

"Once a surgeon, always a surgeon. There is nothing else." He slowly got up and started for the door.

"Robert are you alright, with everything?"

"No, but someday I will be." As he reached the door he looked back at her. "Oh, and Elizabeth." She looked up at him sadly as he continued, "I'm glad its you." And with that he walked away.