These characters aren't mine—I just borrowed them for a while.
This takes place soon after No Strings Attached. One more thing, I ended up shifting the timeline…it now takes place in February instead of May…and references to date have been changed in Chapter 1. Thanks to everyone who left feedback, and to Rain for looking it over again :o)
The next few days were incredibly hectic. Now that he was officially relieved from his duties as Chief of Surgery, Robert suddenly felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he had been terrified going into that meeting with Anspaugh. Things actually ended up better than he thought they would. The way Anspaugh had looked coming out of the board meeting earlier led him to fear the worst. He knew that legally they couldn't fire him. He'd made sure of that by coming in every day and working his ass off. Robert was positive that they would have used any excuse had he provided one. No they couldn't fire him, but they could have given him some degrading position to make his life a living hell. Make him so miserable that he'd eventually resign. Never. He'd never give them the satisfaction of driving him away.
After mentally gearing himself up for a fall, Robert had been surprised when all Anspaugh told him was that Elizabeth would be taking over Chief of Surgery. No mention at all of any change in Chief of Staff. Although secretly relieved that that was the only change, he still argued against it. That was the best part. Always call names and throw around insults and in general make everything as difficult as possible for everyone around you. That way no one knows what your really feeling or thinking. Keeps them all on their toes too. Give in to easy and they will think you've gone soft and that wouldn't be any fun. Besides, he had a reputation to protect.
Robert was relieved that if they were taking Chief of Surgery away from him, at least it was going to Elizabeth. She deserved it more than anyone else in that hospital, especially after putting up with all the shit he put her though over the years. He didn't trust anyone else to do a good job at it except her. Of course he'd given her a bad time about it too, but he knew it wasn't her decision. She hadn't asked for it or made any sign whatsoever that she wanted to take over his duties as Chief.
When she'd asked him if he was OK, a part of him had wanted to give in and let out all of the anguish that had been lurking beneath the surface for so long. But he couldn't. He'd shown her vulnerability once before and found himself acting without thinking. Reaching out to the one person who'd shown him compassion without pity. Of course she'd pulled back. Not that he blamed her. He'd have done the same thing if the tables were turned. After that he'd promised himself he'd never let his guard down like that in anyone's presence again. Especially hers.
He hadn't been completely lying when he said he'd someday be OK. By now he'd accepted that he would never be the surgeon that he once was. Never get to scrub in as more than an observer. Maybe not even get to do that much. Augh…probably just as well. He'd get over everything faster if he didn't have to walk by those OR doors everyday. Looking at his colleagues bent intensely over some poor shmuck who'd picked that moment to find out he had bad luck, bad genes, or was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He felt a stab of jealousy whenever he saw everyone else in that frantic, yet controlled rush. Calling out orders, checking vitals, and going through all the motions he himself had done a thousand times before. It killed him to look back and see what had once been, but he wasn't ready to let it all go. At least not yet.
Elizabeth found herself keeping a closer eye than usual on Robert. On the surface he seemed fine. Same old Robert, firing insults left and right, yelling at the nurses, parading around like he owned the place. But Elizabeth knew better. She knew him well enough to know when he was lying. He kept telling her he was fine, but he definitely wasn't. Every once in a while she caught a glimmer or something else lurking just below the surface. His eyes gave him away. Whenever she saw him look at a trauma being wheeled into surgery from downstairs or whenever he walked passed an OR. There was a gleam of sadness there. Of course it never lasted more than a few seconds or two. Then back up came the mask and he was the same old Robert.
She hated that she found herself asking him how he was all the time. Not like his answer ever changed. He always had some smart remark or gruff reply to keep the subject off of himself. She wasn't even really sure why she did it. Maybe she was hoping that one of these times he would open up to her. But he never did.
"Thank you," called Elizabeth to the maintenance person heading away from her. She turned and looked at the door to her office. Elizabeth Corday, Chief of Surgery. Seeing those words on her door somehow made it seem official.
"Why do I feel so guilty about taking the position," she asked herself although she already knew the answer. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew she was the only person Robert really talked to…at least she was. Even though he had been distant lately, and he'd said he'd wanted her to have the job, she still didn't want to be the one to take it away.
Beep, beep, beep. Elizabeth jumped before realizing that it was just her pager. She read the screen and saw the two most unwelcome letters in the English language, ER. Sighing heavily she stood up and headed for the elevators.
A few minutes later Elizabeth called out, "Did somebody call for consult?" as she approached the admin area.
"Not that I know of," answered Haleh on her way to an exam room.
"Dr. Corday!" called a voice from behind her.
"Gallant, what is it?" asked Elizabeth impatiently.
"Actually its not a normal consult," he began. "Its about Dr. Romano."
Ah, Romano again. She sighed before asking "What'd he do this time?" figuring it was over some dispute with a patient and he needed someone to smooth things over.
"Well we were bringing a patient upstairs and he caught his arm in the gurney. He didn't even realize it until I pointed it out" explained Gallant.
Elizabeth slowed her pace as weight of his words sunk in. "He didn't feel it," she whispered softly.
"No. He's in there debriding the would himself" said Gallant gesturing towards the Suture Room. "But I thought maybe you should take a look."
"Thanks," she called over her shoulder before taking a deep breath and entering the room. And there he was, just as Gallant had said, debriding his own arm.
"Ah, Lizzie. I was wondering how long it would take you to find out. I must say that I'm impressed, it took Gallant only 10 minutes to get you. That must be some kind of record for the ER."
"What are you doing?"
"What's it look like I'm doing? You think I'd let these bozos down here anywhere near my arm? I don't think so."
By this time Elizabeth had pulled up a stool. Now she wordlessly took the instrument from his hand and debriding the wound herself.
"Why didn't you call me," she asked. "I'd have been down here in a second."
"Oh I knew that boy scout out there would get you soon enough. He's pretty much the only one down here who can think properly."
"What were you doing down here anyway?"
"Oh you know, checking up on the little people. Now that my job's completely administrative I have plenty of time to offer support and guidance."
"Ha!" snorted Elizabeth.
"What? I'm totally serious. Just think where these poor saps would be without me. Out of a job that's where. Do you know how close this hospital has come to closing over the years?"
"Yes I do know something about that actually."
"And do you know why it hasn't closed?"
"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me."
"All because of yours truly."
"Of course. You're a wonderful administrator with a heart of gold," she said sarcastically.
"Aww Lizzie, now your just making fun of me," he pouted.
"Yeah so?"
"Nothing."
They were silent for a few minutes as Elizabeth continued to clean and suture his wound.
"So not that we've determined I have a piece of dead weight hanging off my shoulder, what should I try next? I could cut it while slicing a bagel and not realize it until I pass out from the blood loss..."
"Robert..."
"Or maybe I could set the damn thing on fire"
"You need to be patient," she told him firmly as she began wrapping his arm in gauze.
"Yeah. So everyone keeps telling me. Although none of us actually believe I'm even going to partially recover, do we?"
When Robert saw he wasn't going to get an answer from Elizabeth he continued.
"Do you believe in the laws of karma, Elizabeth? The Eastern philosophy -- the influence of past actions on your future life?"
"I know what it is" she answered.
"So I can be a jerk, so what? I've always been honest. Brutally honest. Bruised some egos, hurt some feelings, maybe provoked a few tears. But honesty's a hell of a lot more than most people can claim. I don't deserve this."
Elizabeth was about to speak when she was interrupted by that noisy little box again.
Beep, beep, beep.
"Augh, these things always seem to go off at the worst times. I'm sorry."
"Yeah well at least they actually need you."
"Robert…"
"Go Lizzie. Save a life, do your job" he answered bitterly.
Feeling like she had no other choice, Elizabeth stood up and left the room. When she reached the hall she looked back and saw Robert sadly looking down at his injured arm.