Chapter Two
Five o'clock, Monday through Friday, was Kristy's favorite time of the day. It was when she got to go home. She definitely appreciated the fact that she had a good job, but on the other hand, when she was actually at work, the hours seemed to drag by. Kristy had never imagined herself as a secretary. Secretaries were either mousy, librarian types, or else they were sex kittens that only got jobs so they could hook up with rich, married men. Kristy was neither. For one thing, mousy was not exactly a word that came to mind when the name Kristy Thomas was mentioned. And for another thing, Kristy had sworn off both men and sex for as long as humanly possible. She needed a man even less than she needed sex.
When the clock ticked to five o'clock on that Monday afternoon, it was like the school bell at the end of a long day. Kristy promptly jumped up from her chair, resisting the urge to let out a whoop. She did, however, pump her fist slightly in the air.
"Win the lottery?" Clive asked from behind her. Kristy flinched and then slowly turned. He'd stuck his head out of his office door, probably to ask her for more coffee. Of course he'd caught her in the act. Why wouldn't he?
"I, uh, have to go to the bathroom," Kristy stammered as a lame explanation, and hurried away from the area before he could say anything else. Her face was burning. She suddenly thought of the time in seventh grade when she'd jumped up for joy at the last bell, and her teacher had made her write a one hundred word essay on decorum. Some things would never change.
In the bathroom, Kristy finished her business and then stood by one of the long mirrors, studying her reflection. She didn't particularly like what she saw there. Anyone who looked at Kristy could probably see that she'd been through a lot. Under ordinary circumstances, she would have been pretty. She dressed professionally in pants suits and dresses, and she was slender. Though she'd always been short in childhood, she'd gone through a growth spurt in tenth grade that was responsible for her height of five feet, five inches. Her brown hair was long and dark, and stylish bangs fell across her forehead and into her eyes. But her face was pale and drawn, and her eyes were dark and haunted. It wasn't that she was ugly. It was just that she was so outwardly sad.
Kristy sighed and splashed some water on her face, hoping to draw out some color. She swept her bangs aside and rubbed the water on her forehead, closing her eyes. She really needed to get a grip. She'd been living on her own for three years. The past was in the past. How come she couldn't just let it go?
Kristy reached for a paper towel and wiped off her face. Just as she was doing so, the bathroom door swung open and one of her co-workers, Lindsay Walker, sauntered in and straight over to the mirrors. "Hey, Kristy," Lindsay said flippantly, reaching into her purse for a tube of lipstick. "Ready to go home?"
"Just about," Kristy answered, studying Lindsay. Despite outward appearances, Lindsay was actually a friendly person. Kristy didn't call anyone a friend, but if she did, her list would include Lindsay. Lindsay had been at Willow Books for years, straight from high school and would probably stay until she retired. She was about twenty three, and she was friendly to everybody. She'd taken Kristy in under her wing as soon as Kristy had started, showing her around and letting her in on the ropes. At first glances, though, Lindsay looked like the sex kitten variety of secretary. She was small, shorter than Kristy, a fact that she liked to hide by wearing four inch heels every day. Her long, auburn hair was always loose and her dark blue eyes were constantly rimmed in eyeliner. Which she was touching up now.
"Me too," Lindsay responded, carefully relining her eyes in black eyeliner and then winking at her reflection. "I can't wait to get out of this stuffy office." She tossed her eyeliner back into her bag and grinned at Kristy. "Guess who has a hot date tonight."
Kristy refrained from rolling her eyes. Lindsay always had a hot date. "Wouldn't be you, would it?" Kristy asked.
"You got it." Lindsay hopped onto the sinks and faced Kristy, leaning forward as if she were about to delve into some deep, dark girl secrets. "I met this guy at the bar the other night, and let me tell you, he makes even Clive Brighton look like Mickey Mouse. He used to be an Abercrombie model," Lindsay added proudly. "Now he's an actor. Loaded, if you know what I mean. If I get lucky, I can finally quit this place."
Kristy just shook her head. "Sounds great, Linds, but don't get carried away. This is, what, the tenth guy you've been interested in this year?"
Lindsay waved a manicured hand in the air. "Eleventh, but who's counting?" she replied breezily.
"You, apparently," Kristy said with a grin.
"Hey, how am I ever supposed to find the one if I don't browse around? You could use a little shopping spree yourself, if you know what I mean." Lindsay grinned at Kristy suggestively.
"Forget it," Kristy said, turning back to the mirror and concentrating on fixing her bangs. "I don't need a boyfriend."
"Everyone needs companionship," Lindsay said with a shrug. She jumped down from her perch on the sink, wobbling slightly as her heels hit the ground. Upon regaining her balance, she grinned. "Even you."
"Yeah, don't be such a loser," another voice contributed. Kristy looked up. She hadn't even noticed a third girl, Maria Snyder, come into the bathroom. But there she was, fixing her long dark ponytail.
Lindsay turned to her. "I didn't see you come in," she said.
"Yep, I'm here now," Maria replied, grinning. "I just felt everyone's self-esteem plummet."
Kristy had to grin, because it was true. Maria, unlike Lindsay and Kristy, was not a secretary, but one of the editors of Willow Books. She was only twenty five, but she was incredibly smart and successful. She was even pretty, with a mane of dark hair and the latest stylish outfits. But what made Maria interesting was her mouth. When Kristy was younger, everyone had told her that she had the biggest mouth in the entire state of Connecticut. Maria must not have lived in Connecticut, because her mouth was about the size of the Grand Canyon, and she'd say anything she wanted to. It wasn't that she wasn't friendly, but she had the tendency to lack any sort of tact. If there was something wrong with you, or if you said something stupid, Maria was usually the first one to point it out.
"So what's going on?" Maria asked. She finished with her ponytail and turned towards Lindsay and Kristy.
"Lindsay's got another date," Kristy explained, "and somehow she thinks that has something to do with me not having a boyfriend."
"It does," Lindsay insisted. "You look so sad all the time, Kristy. Some male companionship might cheer you up."
"Forget the male companionship," Maria tossed in. "She just needs to get laid."
Kristy rolled her eyes. "I do not need to get laid," she retorted. "Trust me, sex is more trouble than it's worth."
Lindsay grinned. "Have you ever had sex?" she asked wickedly.
"One time too many," Kristy replied. "And I wound up with a daughter."
Lindsay winced. "Ouch."
Kristy sighed. Even though she had been at Willow Books for three years, nobody knew much about her. She'd been transferred around to different departments several times, and had only just started working with Clive a few weeks ago. And people like Lindsay and Maria, who only knew her casually, had no idea of the details of her private life. Kristy regretted saying even as much as she had so far.
"Just because you got pregnant doesn't mean you can't ever have sex again for the rest of your life," Maria pointed out.
Kristy grabbed her purse from the countertop and headed for the door. "It does for me. See you guys tomorrow." With that, she let herself out of the bathroom. She knew that Lindsay and Maria would start talking about her the minute she left, but she didn't care. She just wanted to go home.
She headed back to her desk outside of Clive's office to get the rest of her things. It was already five thirty, and she'd stayed in the bathroom for much longer than she intended. She was going to be late picking up Sarah from day care. Kristy set her bag on her desk and shuffled inside for a minute before she found her cell phone. Pulling it out, she dialed the number to Kids R' Us, the day care that she sent Sarah to every day.
"Hello, Kids R' Us," a chirpy voice answered. Kristy suddenly felt an unexpected wave of nostalgia wash over her. Hello, Baby-sitters Club. . . . "Hi, this is Kristy Thomas. My daughter, Sarah Thomas, is in your care today, and I'm running a little late to pick her up."
"No problem," the chirpy voice said. "Plenty of kids are still here. Take your time, Miss Thomas."
"Thanks a lot. Bye." Kristy clicked off her phone and dropped it back into her bag. Then she turned to see that Clive's office light was still on. The man was a total workaholic. He was always already in his office when Kristy arrived, and he never left before she did. Sighing, Kristy went over to the door, which was slightly ajar, and knocked. "Do you need anything?" she asked, poking her head inside.
Clive was staring at his computer screen, and he jumped slightly when Kristy spoke. He looked up at the clock and shook his head. "How did it get to be five-thirty?" he wondered aloud.
"I hear it happens every day around this time," Kristy replied.
Clive smirked at her. "Thanks for the input."
"I'm heading out," Kristy added, "so if you need anything, let me know now."
Clive glanced around his cluttered office, as if he were looking for something to send her home with. "Can you take this home and tell me what you think of it?" he said finally, picking up a manuscript from his desk and holding it out to her. Regretting even opening her mouth, Kristy reached forward and took it from him. "Sure. See you tomorrow," she replied, sticking the manuscript into her bag and turning to head out of the office. "Don't work too late."
"Don't you worry," Clive responded. Kristy rolled her eyes, closing his office door behind her. She couldn't wait to leave Willow Books. All she wanted to do was go home, do her dinner-and-bedtime routine with Sarah, and then sit on the fire escape outside her apartment, maybe with a glass of scotch. She relied heavily on her scotch.
New York City's liveliest time was rush hour. The city never slept and cars and people were out and about all night long, but rush hour was something else entirely. Cabs, buses, and cars crowded into the roads, spilling into the sidewalks and horns honked mercilessly, as if the drivers thought that by honking, they could magically part the traffic jams like the Red Sea. And the sidewalks overflowed with men and women in practical business suits, pushing past one another, rushing to dinner meetings or home to their upscale apartments, or out to the bar for a drink or three. Kristy hated rush hour. She never took taxi cabs if she could help it. Fortunately, Kids R' Us was on the same block as Willow Books, easily within walking distance. Before heading in to pick up Sarah, Kristy ducked into a small corner shop. There, she selected a new bottle of scotch, along with a pack of cigarettes and a package of cookies for Sarah. Even though she was underage for buying liquor, that particular corner shop never carded her. Cashiers didn't care who was doing what. It was very liberating.
It seemed to take forever but finally Kristy had collected Sarah and made her way back to their apartment. "Home sweet home," Kristy said to Sarah as they stood in the hallway outside the door. Kristy fumbled for her keys. Her head was pounding from all the noise down in the streets. Mercifully, her apartment was on the tenth floor of her building and the higher you got, the quieter it was.
Sarah was chatting about the daycare as Kristy let them into the apartment. "And then Miss Mazzel said that I could color, if I wanted to, and she let me color from the Little Mermaid book, which you can only color from if you're an extra good girl, so are you proud of me, Mommy?"
"Very proud," Kristy replied automatically, pushing the door open with her knee and practically tumbling inside. As soon as the door was open, Sarah trotted off in the direction of the bathroom. Kristy backed into the door to close it and then set her bags down, making sure to lock the door behind her. She sighed, taking a deep breath to relax herself. Once she was shut inside of her apartment, the noise of the city seemed very far away. She took a couple of minutes to relax in the silence of her apartment, and then headed into the kitchen.
Sarah came trotting back out of the bathroom a few minutes later, chatting again. "So tomorrow I get to pick either Cinderella or Aladdin to color from, and I think I might pick Aladdin because then I'd get to color Jasmine and she's just so pretty. You look just like her, Mommy."
"That's nice, sweetie," Kristy murmured distractedly. She set her bottle of scotch on the counter, saving it for later. Then she opened the refrigerator. "What do you want for dinner, Sarah-bear?"
"Umm." Sarah hopped up to sit at the small table in the kitchen and drummed her small fingers against the top. "Grilled cheese."
"Grilled cheese," Kristy repeated, shuffling around for the food contents. She found some cheese, bread, and butter and pulled them out, setting about making sandwiches for herself and Sarah. They got through dinner and for dessert, Kristy gave Sarah the cookies she'd bought at the corner store. Finally, after they'd eaten dinner and dessert and Sarah had played with her dolls and blocks and had a bath, Kristy set about putting her to bed. It was eight o'clock, which was when Sarah always went to bed. And she was incredibly nice about it too, unlike some other brattier kids Kristy had baby-sat before, in her younger years. Kids could throw unbelievable tantrums when they didn't want to go to bed, but Sarah never had. She was Kristy's dream child.
They selected a new picture book to read, called "Wiggle's Adventures." It was based on a preschool-age television show called The Wiggles. Sarah liked to watch the TV show, so Kristy knew she'd like the book.
She was careful to make sure that Sarah understood the words on the page and what they meant. Sarah was intelligent for her age, and even though two was a bit early to learn to read, Kristy at least wanted her to understand that the letters meant something. Together, Kristy and Sarah made their way through the adventure of the Wiggles. "So in the end, Anthony found his missing pair of blue socks, and the Wiggles were once again complete," Kristy finished on the last page. She closed the book. When she looked over, she saw that Sarah had drifted off.
Kristy carefully set the book on the dresser and eased herself out of Sarah's bed. "Good night, sweetie," she said softly, and leaned down to kiss Sarah's forehead before brushing away her hair. Then she turned off the light so that Sarah's night light would shine, and she left her daughter.
After Sarah was asleep, Kristy returned to the kitchen and immediately poured herself some scotch. She didn't like to think of herself as someone who relied on alcohol, but she liked the dry, scratchy feeling she got in her throat after drinking it for awhile. She also liked the warmth of it going down her throat, and the ever-so-slightly pleasant buzzing in her head. It numbed her troubles. She took her glass and wandered out the side door to the fire escape outside her apartment. By that time, rush hour had quieted down and evening had fallen over New York. In the far west, Kristy could see just a few glimmers of purple and pink in the sky, combined with dark blue and the twinkling of millions of stars. The stars seemed distant, though, compared to the billions of lights that were lit up all around the city. People's apartments as they settled in to their evenings, offices for those who were working late, restaurants and clubs lit up for entertainment. New York was such an open book. Everything in the world was there. So why did Kristy feel so incomplete?
She sighed and finished off her glass. A dull ache was settling into her stomach, and even as a cool breeze blew back her bangs and she gazed around at the sheer beauty of the city, she couldn't push that aching feeling away.
She missed Stoneybrook.