Fallen X(Finally!)
Not beta-ed yet!
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Next morning both Draco and Harry woke up early. Well Harry had been awake for hours, lying in bed thinking. He was glad that the sun finally decided to peak through his window. He had the most terrible head ache. He kept hearing his heart beat inside his head and it was driving him mad. It was time to find some distraction.
Harry walked to the bathroom, unaware that Draco was watching him go.
Draco didn't have much sleep either. He sighed and stepped out of his bed as well, heading for his art room. Something was pulling him towards his paintbrush. Something was prickling his mind, his imagination. He hadn't felt that way in ages. He did not know what caused the feeling to come back again, but he wanted to capture warmth and freedom in a painting.
Not bothering to get dressed Draco searched for the best paintbrush. The one that would sense the color you had in mind. When he was finished preparing, he thought for a few seconds, before his paintbrush touched the white fabric.
When Harry re-entered the room he saw that Draco was up as well. Wondering if it was his fault that the boy was up so early, his eyes searched through the room. A small smile played on his mouth when he realized where Draco was.
He walked through the room and into the art room. When he entered the room he saw that Draco was doing something entirely different than what he'd imagined. He thought Draco would be there thinking up a plan, but here he was painting.
Harry walked closer silently and had to suppress a grin when he saw that Draco's cheek was covered with red paint. The painting however took his breath away. It was far from done, but it was already absolutely breathtaking.
"What is your goal in life?" Draco suddenly asked his voice low and deadly serious.
Harry, who thought the blonde had not noticed his presence, was a bit taken aback. "Well†I don't know. Why?" Harry answered finally.
"Let me rephrase it. What is the one thing you want to accomplish in life, before you die?" Draco asked.
"I have to think about that. Why are you asking me all these serious questions so early in the morning?" Harry asked, confused.
"I was just wondering." Draco answered, leaving Harry in the same confusion.
"Do you have an answer to that question?" Harry asked.
"I did. Now I'm not sure." Draco answered, while the brush continued to caress the fabric.
Harry walked to a chair and sat down, realizing Draco wanted a serious discussion. Or there was something Draco wanted to tell him. He wasn't sure, this conversation just came out of nowhere and to be honest he had no idea what to do with it.
"If we die while trying to escape, would you be pleased by the way you lived your life?" Draco asked.
"That's a weird question to ask someone who just tried to take his own life," Harry said sadly.
"No it's not. The fact that you tried to take your own life is completely irrelevant. Answer it." Draco said, looking Harry's way for the first time that morning.
"No, I would not." Harry answered honestly.
"So there's still something you want to accomplish before you die," Draco stated.
Harry frowned.
"When should one be pleased with his life?" Draco asked.
"I don't know. You tell me," Harry snapped, getting a bit uncomfortable.
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If I tell you
Will you listen?
Will you stay?
Will you be here forever?
Never go away?
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"When I was younger I always thought that if you had known the true meaning of Love, your life would be complete. If you would know the feeling of being Loved, to be special to someone. To be something another person would die for. Do get my point?" Draco asked, his cheeks flustered as he continued working on his painting.
"I think so," Harry answered.
"What if there isn't such a thing†what if it only exists in fairy tales. What if I've been longing for something that isn't real?" Draco whispered.
"Draco†What's wrong?" Harry asked.
"My father told me that love between two people of the same sex was to complicated to work. That a relationship between two people of the same sex is doomed to fail, at one point or the other. Just because they didn't have the click heterosexuals have. He said that if you put a man and a woman together things would fit in each way. You won't have that click when you put two men together, or two women. They were just not meant to be and that's why their relationship was doomed to fail." Draco said. "What do you think of that,"
"Utter nonsense of course." Harry answered. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
"I don't know what's wrong. I don't even know if there's something wrong, but sometimes I just realize how complicated my life is and I wonder if I was the one who made it so complicated. I probably am. Sometimes I just wonder what there is to live for." Draco said, black paint suddenly coming out of his brush. "Shit! That bloody paintbrush just ruined my painting!" he threw the paintbrush against the wall.
"Dracoâ€calm down. Everyone's life is complicated. Fate is playing with every soul. Life isn't worth living if you don't make it worth living yourself." Harry said.
"Not everyone's life is complicated," Draco argued.
"Well maybe not everyone's, but goes through their dark times. Maybe some are a bit lighter than others, but to them it's still dark." Harry said.
"You're not really making me feel better." Draco stated.
"That's because I never know what to say. I always say the wrong things. What do you want me to say, seriously?" Harry asked.
"I don't know!" Draco snapped. "I only know that you're doing a crappy job, making me feel better!"
"Do you want me to lie to you? Tell you that everything will turn out fine, when I really don't have a clue what the future will bring?" Harry almost yelled, getting angry as well.
"Yes!" Draco yelled.
"Oh come on Draco, you wouldn't even believe that." Harry yelled back.
"But it would make me feel better!" Draco yelled, his cheeks flushed.
"No it wouldn't!" Harry argued.
"Yes it would!" Draco yelled back.
"Fine! Draco, you're going to have a Fabulous life! Everything will turn out just the way you want it." Harry yelled.
Draco opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He began to shake and for a few seconds Harry was afraid that the boy would start crying, but he soon realized that the blonde boy was laughing.
Harry, who couldn't understand what could possibly be so funny, got a bit irritated. "Why the hell are you laughing?"
"You†You said Fabulous! No one ever says fabulous, unless they're fabulously Gay!" Draco laughed.
"I did not say fabulous!" Harry said indignantly. Wondering if he really did say the word fabulous.
"Yes you did!" Draco laughed.
"Well" Harry said, not knowing what to say. "Well†I was trying to make a point!"
"Come on! Admit it Harry, you're as gay as it gets." Draco said, trying to be serious.
"Well†well†I'm not having this conversation right now." Harry said, marching out of the room. "I've got far more important things to do."
Draco stayed in the art room with an amused smile on his face, turning back to his painting. Although he didn't get much time to continue his painting, because Harry marched back into the room two seconds later. Draco turned around and raised one eyebrow.
Harry glared. "I'm not talking to you."
"You just did," Draco teased.
Harry remained silent, sitting down. He took the list of things he made last night and stared angrily to the paper.
"Oh come on Pothead!" Draco exclaimed. "We're not going to get out of here if you refuse to talk to me. I was only joking!"
"Oh fine!" Harry growled. "Come sit with me,"
Draco decided not to tease any further, which was quite hard. He'd only just discovered how much fun it was to tease Harry. He sat down next to the brunette, looking to the list. He still couldn't read any of it, but decided to look at it anyway.
"Well, first thing we need is those wands. Could we take care of that right now?" Harry asked, his embarrassment slowly fading away.
"Sure." Draco answered. "I'll call her right away! Libby!"
With a loud 'plop' the house elf appeared in front of them, bowing deep. "Yes masters?" she asked.
"Libby, we have a job for you. It's very important." Draco said. "Harry will explain it to you."
"Yes†ehh" Harry began. "Libby, we want to escape and we want to take you with us. But it's going to be dangerous and there are a few things we need to do before we are ready. We need your help."
Libby was hopping from one leg to the other, obviously very excited. "Oh! Libby will do anything, master."
"Yes, well good. Here is our plan. The most important thing we need is a wand. One for Draco and one for me. Could you get those for us Libby?" Harry asked.
Libby nodded, getting more and more excited.
"After we have our wands, we have to get out of this Manor. The only way of getting out, without having to cross the wards around this house, is through Lucius' study. But to get in Lucius' study we need to figure out how he protects that room and how we can get in. We'll only have one chance to get to the fireplace and get the hell out of here, so we must be prepared." Harry said. "We also need to figure out where we will go through the fireplace. Hogwarts isn't an option an-"
"Why not?" Draco asked, shocked. "I thought we could just floo right into Hogwarts and be done with it."
"Did you really think we could just floo right into Hogwarts, using your father's fireplace? I don't think so. Hogwarts is very well protected by Dumbledore and we can't risk it. We need to find a fireplace your father would not think of. Where we will be safe." Harry said.
"Oh. Right. And where would that be?" Draco asked.
"Well that's what we need to find out." Harry said. "We need to find a place where we will be safe until we find our way to Hogwarts."
"Oh no, no, no, no, no! No way! We are going to find a place where we will be safe until Libby gets back with Dumbledore. There's no way we can make it by ourselves. Death Eaters will be all over Hogwarts when they realize we escaped." Draco said, frustrated.
"Good point." Harry said.
"I can't believe you didn't think about that, Potter!" Draco yelled. "Libby, would you please leave us alone. I think Harry and I need to do some more preparing. Oh wait, could you bring us some breakfast please?"
"Yes, Master. Of Course, Master." Libby said, plopping away.
Draco stood up and started mumbling to himself, walking up and down the room. "Idiotic plan†it's going to get us both killed. †Not a smart move†not a smart move"
Harry looked up from his list and followed the blonde's movements for a few seconds. "Draco, calm down. You're stressing too much. It's not like we're going to carry the plan out right away. Of course we need to think this over more," Harry said, but the blonde just kept pacing.
"he obviously doesn't know what my father will do to us†to him! All the dark curses†all the torture" Draco continued.
Harry stood up and grabbed Draco's arm, shaking him a bit. "Draco! Stop it!"
Draco looked up at Harry and stared right into his eyes. "I just don't want to die." Draco said softly.
"You won't die," Harry assured him.
"Don't lie to me. You said it yourself this morning; we don't know what the future will bring." Draco spat.
"No I don't know the future. I just wanted you to feel better." Harry said.
"Not working! Again! I hate to think about dying†I hate Death!" Draco said.
"Just try not to think of it so much." Harry said, letting go of Draco's arm.
"I want to make sure that when I die. I'll be happy about the way I lived my life." Draco whispered.
"When will you be happy?" Harry asked.
"When I have it all." Draco answered.
Harry frowned. "When you have what all?"
"Never mind." Draco sighed.
Harry rolled his eyes. "You must be the most complicated person I've ever met!"
Draco just smiled.
Harry sighed and considered the subject closed for now. "Let's go back to our plan," he said, turning around.
Draco, however, grabbed his arm and turned him back. He stepped forward and closed the gap in between them. With his heart beating like crazy, he kissed Harry. Right there and then. It was a soft kiss, but he could feel Harry freeze against him. It was then that he realized what he had done. This time he really did cross the line. He released Harry's lips and stepped back in shock. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I couldn't help myself."
Harry didn't say a word. He just stepped back and exited the room.
"Fuck!" Draco groaned in frustration. "What the hell did I do! Why did I do that? Why? Shit Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!"
After throwing some things around and kicking the same things all over the room. He collapsed on the couch with a sigh and grabbed Harry's list and a quill. Although he couldn't really think straight, he decided to focus on the plan.
About ten minutes later Harry walked in again.
Draco's head snapped up. He was searching for Harry's eyes, but the boy was avoiding his gaze. Harry's face was neutral. Draco couldn't see if he had been angry or crying or maybe, but highly unlikely, happy. There was nothing, which was a bad sign.
With a loud 'plop' Libby appeared in the room with two trays of food. Draco took them from her quickly afraid they might fall. "Thank you Libby, that would be all." Draco said, giving Harry his stray.
Harry took his stray and ate his breakfast quietly.
Draco sighed when he realized that he really did make a mistake when he kissed the boy. They were back at square one, the awkwardness. Mentally cursing himself, he ate his breakfast as well. He wanted to be close to Harry so badly. Harry was what he needed. Harry was what he wanted. If he had Harry, he would have the world. If he had Harry he would have everything. Now that he had Harry, he knew he would always long for more.
-
A bitter thought
I had it all
But I just let it go
Hold your silence
It's so violent
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Suddenly he was sitting there in his room. all alone. He realized that if he would lose Harry, he would be all alone.
Everything... That was Harry to him
Nothing... That was he to Harry.
And it hurt.
Like Hel!
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More is coming soon. I'm back and writing! Sorry for the loooong wait! Black Elf
Used Lyrics:
Bittersweet – Within Temptation