Chapter Five

Even though she wasn't really sick, Kristy took the next day off from work. She dropped Sarah off at daycare and then returned to her apartment. She didn't need to rest, but she needed to get in control. The previous day had given her a serious reality check. If she kept going the way that she was, then something worse could happen, worse than forgetting to pick Sarah up from daycare. Even that was pretty bad. Kristy didn't know what she would have done if Clive hadn't have picked her up.

Speaking of which, Kristy was going to look into a new daycare. She didn't like that the people there would hand over her daughter to Clive, no matter who he said he was or how professional he looked in his thousand-dollar suit.

As soon as Kristy got back to her apartment, she set about cleaning up. She couldn't concentrate when there were dirty dishes in the sink cluttering her brain. She put Sarah's toys away and straightened the living room, and then sat down at the small kitchen table with a cup of soothing tea. She needed peace and quiet, and plenty of space to think.

First of all, why had Stacey scared her so much? Yes, she didn't want to be discovered. She had been in hiding for three years. But maybe more importantly, what did she think was going to happen if she was discovered? The worst that her mother and Watson could do was disown her. She was living completely alone already, so her life wouldn't change at all. Kristy supposed it was more than that. While she hated the worry that she must have caused her parents, she could deal with them thinking she had run away. What she couldn't deal with was them knowing why. She didn't want them to know that she had gone and done what every mother warned her daughter not to do: given in to the first guy that she ever had a real connection with. Given up something that was supposed to be precious. Gotten pregnant at seventeen. When Kristy imagined their reactions, she flinched. They would be so disappointed in her. Kristy Thomas, straight-A student, destined to go places, had become a single teen mother. Nothing more than a statistic. She couldn't deal with that.

And yet on the other hand, Kristy had also never been more lonely in her life than she was then. Sarah helped, but Kristy desperately missed the friends and family she'd taken for granted for so long. Seeing Stacey had triggered memories upon memories, thoughts that had kept her awake, tossing and turning and longing. It made her wonder: was she doing the right thing? She was protecting her honor, at the sake of her happiness. It didn't seem to make sense.

Kristy's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. Kristy blinked, and then headed over to the couch with her tea. Settling down, she picked up the cordless phone. Nobody knew her number but someone from work, or the daycare. Expecting maybe Clive, she answered. "Hello?"'

"Hello, may I speak to Kristy Thomas?" It was a vaguely familiar female voice. Someone from the daycare. Was Sarah sick?

"This is she," Kristy answered. "Can I help you?"

The person on the other end of the phone let out a low breath. "It's Stacey McGill."

Kristy almost dropped the phone. Despite the longing she'd felt, her heart immediately started racing and her first instinct was to hang up. But Stacey had her number. How? She'd just call back. Kristy's mouth felt like sawdust. She opened it to reply, but no sound came out.

"Kristy?" Stacey went on. "Are you there?"

"H-how did you get this number?" Kristy finally managed to demand.

There was a muffled sob on the other end, as if Stacey had started to cry. "Oh, it's really you," Stacey said. "I can't believe it, Kristy."

"Stacey," Kristy said slowly, taking a deep breath to calm her frayed, racing nerves, "how did you get this number?"

Stacey sniffled. "I saw you yesterday. Well I thought it was you until you told me you didn't speak English. But I thought to myself, the girl I saw looked too much like you for me to just write it off as coincidence. And you were outside of Willow Books. Today I called and asked for you, they told me you were out sick and a receptionist gave me your number."

What is it with these New Yorkers? Kristy fumed, furious now. First the daycare gave her daughter to a stranger, and now the receptionist had given her private phone number out. What the hell?

"Oh, Kristy, I'm so glad you're all right," Stacey went on, crying again. "I thought it was too good to be true, but it's really you. Everyone has been so worried about you. We thought you were dead!"

"I am," Kristy snapped, her fury taking control over her emotions. "Don't ever call here again." She pressed the hang-up button on the phone, wishing that she had a good, old-fashioned phone with a cradle that she could slam the receiver into. Her heart was pounding like a jackhammer. Forget being lonely. Stacey knew where she worked and she had her phone number. The first thing she had to do was disconnect her phone. Then she had to quit Willow Books and leave New York City. Apparently, even New York wasn't big enough. Maybe she should leave the country.

Immediately, the phone rang again. Kristy answered. "Hello?"

"Kristy, don't hang up," Stacey said immediately. "Whatever reason you're hiding from everyone, let me say that I didn't say anything. I wanted to find our for myself if it was really you before I opened my mouth. Nobody knows, if that's what you're afraid of. Can you please talk to me?"

Kristy let out a low, long breath, her pulse slowing down. Stacey hadn't told anyone. For a moment, Kristy pondered Stacey's words. Could she really trust Stacey?

"Okay," she said finally. "What do you want?"

"I just want to talk," Stacey said. "I just . . . I need to talk."

"About what?" Kristy asked.

"You know about what," Stacey replied. "Kristy, we've been friends since forever. Now that I know you're alive, I want to see you. Can we talk in person?" When Kristy didn't answer, Stacey went on, "I promise that whatever secret you have is safe with me."

Kristy sighed. Her cover was already blown, at least as far as Stacey was concerned. Maybe fate was intervening. At any rate, if she didn't see Stacey, Stacey would probably spill the beans all over the place.

"All right," Kristy answered finally. "Come to my apartment."

After she gave Stacey her address, she hung up the phone and went into her bedroom to change her clothes. She had been wearing a loose pair of sweatpants and a tank top, her feet bare. She slipped her feet into a pair of socks and pulled a sweatshirt over her head. Then she brushed out her hair and rubbed a small amount of gloss over her lips. She didn't want to look like a bag lady when she saw Stacey.

Not twenty minutes later, someone knocked on the door and called, "It's me, Stacey," so Kristy knew it was safe to open the door.

Once again, Kristy was face-to-face with her childhood friend. Stacey hadn't changed a bit in the last three years. She was model-tall and slender, her skin lightly tanned as if she had been away at the beach all summer. Her honey-blonde hair was glazed with platinum highlights that contrasted strikingly with her bright blue eyes. And she was dressed to kill in a pair of brown leather pants and a ruffled white top underneath a long, beige coat with brown leather buttons. Immediately, Kristy felt incredibly inferior to the beautiful woman. Nevertheless, she opened the door for her friend and stepped aside to let her in.

"Ohmigod," Stacey said immediately, as soon as she had stepped inside and Kristy closed the door behind her. Right away, Stacey leaned forward and wrapped Kristy in a tight hug. "I can't believe it's really you."

Kristy couldn't help a small smile. Even though she'd been friends with Stacey since they were twelve, they had never been all that close until their junior year of high school. That was the year they'd both been in the drama club, and all the extra time spent together and formed quickly into a friendship that had been stronger than perhaps it had been in all their other years combined.

"You look amazing," Kristy commented, taking in Stacey's appearance again.

"Thanks," Stacey said, stepping back to take off her coat, while scrutinizing Kristy. "You look . . .sad."

"Thanks," Kristy answered sarcastically, turning away and heading for the couch. Stacey followed her after hanging her coat on the rack and they sat down.

"The security in this building stinks," Stacey commented as she settled into the comfortable cushions. "Your buzzer was broken and some kid just let me right in. You should really have that checked out."

Kristy let out a short, harsh laugh. "Apparently security isn't something that you New Yorkers seem to care too much about."

Stacey bit her lip and reached over, laying her hand on Kristy's arm. Kristy looked down at Stacey's elegant hand, with her manicured fingernails and jeweled rings. Kristy's own hands had never been so polished. Her fingers were small and her nails were always bitten to the quick.

"Kristy," Stacey said softly, "if it were anyone else, I'd brush off the incident. I'd forget that I saw you. But this isn't right. Here you are, living in this apartment and being totally secretive, playing dead, and you look as if you've gone through World War Three. I've never seen someone with such a haunted look." Stacey looked Kristy straight in the eye. "What's going on?"

Normally, Kristy was tough. She'd been that way all her life. She hadn't even cried when Steven had dumped her. She'd straightened her slender shoulders and done what she'd needed to do. Or at least, what she felt she needed to do at the time.

But sitting here, in the presence of someone so familiar, with all the cards on the table, suddenly Kristy was struck with an incredible sense of reality. Harsh reality. And suddenly, she found herself in tears.

Stacey pulled her into a hug and said comforting things, but all Kristy could do was sob. Stacey handed her some tissues and finally, Kristy had calmed down enough to speak. "I wanted people to think I disappeared," Kristy said finally, her voice shaky. "I was ashamed of myself and I wanted to just be a memory. That way, people would remember the old Kristy Thomas. Not me."

"You're not making sense," Stacey pointed out. "What do you mean? What could you possibly be ashamed of?"

Kristy took a deep breath. "Remember my old boyfriend? Steven?"

"Who could forget Steven?" Stacey let out a small laugh. "Nobody was ever sure what had happened between the two of you because he never acted upset that you were gone. The police even suspected that he had something to do with your disappearance. But that blew over."

Kristy sighed. "I'm not surprised that he didn't care."

"Why not?"

"He told me never to speak to him again after he found out that I was pregnant," Kristy blurted out.

Stacey's eyes widened. "Pregnant? But. . .how?"

"The usual way," Kristy responded sarcastically, shaking her head. "I was so stupid, Stacey. Steven told me that he loved me. . . and I believed him."

Stacey shook her head. "That's not stupid, Kristy," she said softly.

Kristy shrugged. "At any rate, I got pregnant, and when I told Steven, he said he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby." Kristy went on, spilling out the whole story. How she'd stolen money from Watson, how she'd run to the place where it was easy to get lost in the shuffle. How she'd been working as a glorified secretary. Sarah.

When she was finished, Stacey's eyes were flashing. "I can't believe that Steven would be so cruel," she said angrily. "He always seemed like such a nice guy. How awful that he never took any responsibility. He probably knew why you ran away and he never said anything! To anyone. He never gave any indication that he knew anything."

Kristy shrugged. "Well, like I said, I'm not surprised."

Stacey shook her head. "Oh, Kristy, I can't believe all you've been through. Raising a daughter by yourself, being so alone for all this time." Then she brightened. "But you aren't alone anymore. I'm sure that if you go to Stoneybrook and explain to Watson and your mother--"

"Whoa!" Kristy cut her off sharply. "No, Stacey. I am not going back to Stoneybrook. The only reason I confided in you was because you said you hadn't told anyone. You can't tell anybody where I am."

"But don't you want to go home?" Stacey asked. "Have Sarah meet your parents? You could get help, you could be surrounded by your friends. Having a daughter is nothing to be ashamed of, Kristy."

"It is to me," Kristy snapped. "I'm not ashamed of Sarah, but I am ashamed of being irresponsible." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she looked directly into Stacey's icy blue gaze. "Trust me, Stacey. You can't tell anyone. Please."

Stacey returned her gaze for a few moments in silence. Kristy's gaze never wavered. Finally, Stacey sighed and nodded. "Okay, Kristy. Your secret is safe with me."