Chapter 9 revisited. I rewrote this chapter in a completely different direction, and I have to say I like this version much better. And I have more ideas for what comes next…which should hopefully translate into more updates! As usual, ER isn't mine, but I think you already knew that. Huge thanks to Justine for her feedback on this chapter. And another shout out to MAX024 recovering my lost files. Anyway, on with the story…

Elizabeth flew out the doors of the hotel and turned left. She didn't care where she went, she just needed to get away.

After walking half a block she slowed her mad dash and took in her surroundings. There were quite a few people around, probably going out to an early dinner or something along those lines. The days were getting longer, but at quarter to six it was still pretty dark out. Elizabeth shivered as a slight breeze picked up and she pulled her jacket closer to her, grateful that in her rush out of the hotel room she'd had the presence of mind to bring it with her. San Francisco may not get snow in the winter like Chicago, but it wasn't exactly warm either.

After walking for five or ten minutes, and desperately trying to think about anything that didn't relate to Robert, Elizabeth found herself looking at a gigantic bow and arrow. It was sitting on a small patch of grass surrounded by plants and benches. The thing had to be at least fifty feet high, and at least twice that long. She looked at it in confusion, wondering what it was doing there.

"Pretty cool, huh?" asked another pedestrian who saw her confusion and mistook it for wonder.

"Huh?" she asked, snapping out of her daze.

"That" he said pointing at the sculpture.

"Umm, sure….what is it for exactly?" she asked.

"I dunno, a really big decoration."

"But…why?"

"Why not?" he replied before continuing on his way.

Elizabeth shook her head slightly and crossed the street. She found herself on a wide path along the waterfront. She leaned against the rail and stared out over the bay. The bay itself was dark, but she could make out the islands floating around the middle of it, framed by lights from the surrounding bridges on three sides.

For most of the day she'd been pretty good at ignoring Robert and any thoughts that had to do with him. A few times her concentration wavered and she caught herself looking in his direction, but most of the time she was able to trick herself into thinking that the speakers at the meeting were more interesting than they really were. However, now that she had nothing else to think about, her brain was cluttered with conflicting thoughts and emotions.

Elizabeth had always had a specific method of dealing with Robert. Whenever they were at County, they exchanged barbs and insults back and forth, but never revealed anything more about themselves. It made it impossible to get attached or really be affected by the other. It was the game that they had always played. Nothing more than that.

At least that's how is used to be. Somewhere along the way things had changed. And it wasn't just because of the helicopter. It was sometime before that, although Elizabeth couldn't exactly pinpoint where things changed. Of course there were the usual snarking; it just wouldn't be the same without the daily dose of snark. But the insults were more carefully planted. Designed more to playfully tease than viciously attack. When both of their world's were turned upside down, things were shaken up even more. They both found themselves turning to the other for more than just an amusing comment or the usual sarcasm. Elizabeth had realized by now that she valued Robert's friendship tremendously. She just didn't know what was supposed to happen next.

Although he'd sounded more optimistic about things the last couple of days, Elizabeth was sure that he wasn't as confident about things as he sounded. If this latest plan of his, what is was exactly she didn't know, but if it didn't work out, she wasn't exactly sure what his reaction would be. He was incredibly strong and stubborn, but just how many setbacks and disappointments could one person take?

She knew that they were each other's closest friends at the hospital. It surprised Elizabeth to think that she would call him her closest friend from work, instead of Susan or Abby, but it was true. Seeing as their lives revolved almost completely around the place, they definitely spent more time together on a daily basis than with anyone else. Elizabeth tried to use the excuse that that was the reason she put up with him better than anyone else. They saw each other more often, so naturally they knew each other better. But she knew that it was more than that. She was the only person around that he'd ever opened up to at all. Elizabeth still didn't know that much about what went on inside his head, but at least she had some idea. Everyone else was completely in the dark, just the way he preferred it.

So why her?

Cause he loves you, duh, piped up that annoying little voice in her head that she usually chose to ignore. She'd known that he loved her for a long time, but she hadn't been interested and had dated and eventually married Mark instead. Robert had stood on the sidelines and watched, happy that she was happy. Elizabeth had always assumed that he'd gotten over her by now, but what if he hadn't? There was that moment in the lounge. She'd always convinced herself that he'd been reaching out to anyone at all, and she'd just been the one that was there at that moment. But what if that wasn't true either?

As Elizabeth's thoughts continued to wander, she found another question she didn't know the answer to. Why did it matter so much? So what if he loved her once upon a time, or even if he still did have feelings for her It didn't matter because she didn't feel the same way. Sure he was a good friend and she was concerned and wanted to help him out in whatever way she could, but that was it, wasn't it?

And then there was that kiss the previous evening. The kiss she'd initiated. What exactly had been going through her head at that moment, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that this time she'd been the one with the momentary weakness, and the memory of it had been creeping into her thoughts all day long.

Elizabeth sighed heavily before straightening up. The wind had picked up and she was going to freeze if she didn't head back inside soon. She felt even more conflicted that she had earlier. Why did everything with Robert have to be so damn complicated? She'd hoped to resolve things in her own mind, but she ended up feeling even more confused with more unanswered questions than before.

Sorry for the lack of Cordano interaction in this chapter, there will be more soon!

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