Harry sighed as he stared at the shrinking Kings Cross Station, thinking it would be another three months until he saw it again. He still thought of Hogwarts as his home, despite all that had happened. He turned and sank into the plush seats of Uncle Vernon's new sports car, which he had gotten in celebration of getting promoted. Harry was unsurprised none of the other Dursleys had come to get him. Uncle Vernon hadn't said a word to him since they'd gotten in the car. Harry longed for a family who would arrive full of questions, hugs, and happiness about seeing him again. Thinking about that made him think about how Sirius had offered to adopt him in his third year... but he mustn't think about Sirius, he reprimanded himself. Harry knew Sirius would want him to move on, hard as it was to do.

Two silent hours later, Harry and his uncle arrived back at Number Four Privet Drive. Harry unloaded his trunk and Hedwig's cage from the car and lugged it up the stairs to his room. His aunt was in the living room watching the news, and his cousin Dudley was in the kitchen, sneaking chocolate biscuits. It had been nearly two years of dieting, and Dudley had yet to lose weight, even though he was more muscular due to boxing. Neither one said anything to him. Harry didn't really care one way or the other. Right now, all he wanted to do was sleep.

The next day, Harry owled Ron.

Dear Ron,

I know it's only the first day of summer, but please get me out of here! The Dursleys are completely ignoring me like usual, and I have nothing to do. When's the soonest I can go stay with you guys?

Harry

He sent Hedwig off, and she soared off into the sunrise. Harry sighed, got dressed, and went downstairs, where he ate a solitary breakfast. Everyone else was still asleep, it seemed.

Harry didn't really know what to do with the rest of the day. He decided to go wander around town. He didn't bother leaving a note – the Dursleys would probably just be glad he was out of the way.

He walked amongst the Muggles, who were laughing and talking, carrying shopping bags, cell phones, and cups of coffee. It made him wonder what his life would be like as a Muggle; if he hadn't found out about his parents and the fact he had magical powers. That led to him thinking about what if Voldemort never had existed. What if he'd led a normal wizard life in the care of his parents?

This led to a lot of possibilities and fantasies. He knew he was just depressing himself, but he couldn't help it. He imagined a childhood of love and care, with frequent visits to see Sirius, who never would've had to go to Azkaban...

Eventually, Harry realized he'd wandered into what was considered the poor part of town. There were people on the side of the street, begging for money or playing instruments for tips. Grimy brick buildings with bars over the windows rose on both sides of the street. Harry almost turned around to go back to the Dursley's house, but something caught his attention.

It was a soup kitchen, and a terrible looking one at that. There were people lined up to the door, waiting for food. The sign over the door was merely a piece of cardboard saying, "Helping Hands". There was a notice on the door that said, "Volunteer! Help the community by serving food for the homeless." Harry felt bad for the people lined up to get food in the crummy building. He might not have had a loving family, but at least he had enough food to eat as a child. He turned around slowly and started toward the middle class, proper, respectable neighborhood he lived in, and felt a sudden rush of irrational anger. Why was the world so unfair? The people he loved died, the people who didn't have enough money to buy food had to go to crummy kitchens like that... the injustice of it all made him turn around, march right into the kitchen, and ask to volunteer.

It turned out the soup kitchen was desperate for volunteers, and even though they didn't usually accept anyone under eighteen, they took him up on his offer immediately. They said he was to come in tomorrow at nine o'clock for a two hour shift. After a week, he could sign up for more. Harry left the building feeling satisfied that he, at least, was trying to make the world a bit better.

Hedwig hadn't returned when Harry got back to the Dursley's. Nobody was home, so he got to spend a rare, relaxing afternoon watching television and eating what he wanted. He hardly thought about his problems at all, drowning his sorrows in reruns of stupid sitcoms and game shows.

At six o'clock the Dursleys came back. They all stormed into the living room, where Harry was watching TV absently.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" Uncle Vernon shouted. Harry jumped.

"What?" he asked.

"You were supposed to be here for my promotion party!" Uncle Vernon's face was bright purple, and the vein in his forehead was twitching.

"Well, Dad, at least he wasn't there to screw it up," Dudley said, smirking. Uncle Vernon looked like he never considered that, and his face got a little less purple.

"Fine," Uncle Vernon snapped. "I'm going to bed."

Dudley went to the kitchen. Aunt Petunia went upstairs. Harry was left alone in the living room. All of a sudden, Dudley screamed from the kitchen.

"Who ate all the glazed donu—" He stopped himself short. Harry jumped up from the living room couch, ready for a fight. He had found a box of glazed donuts at the back of the cupboard, and had eaten them all because he figured they had merely been forgotten. He should have known better. Dudley stalked into the room, as purple faced as his father.

"Did you eat my donuts?" he hissed.

"Aren't you on a diet?" Harry retorted. Dudley stomped forward, making all the furniture in the room shake. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia rushed down the stairs to see what the commotion was.

"What's wrong?" Aunt Petunia asked, running towards Dudley. "What is it, Duddykins?" Dudley shot a death stare at Harry. He knew he couldn't tell his parents about the donuts.

"Nothing," Dudley muttered. Harry rolled his eyes and left the room, feeling triumphant.

But that night, Harry was plagued with terrible dreams. He tossed and turned, and only got about two hours of sleep. Most of the nightmares involved Dudley stuffing his head into a trashcan or giant donuts chasing him over cliffs. Miserable and exhausted, he got dressed to go to the soup kitchen. He didn't even have time for breakfast.

At least, he thought to himself, the dreams hadn't been about Sirius.

He arrived at the soup kitchen, where a woman behind the counter handed him an apron and smiled.

"I'm so glad you volunteered," she said. "We're starting to have to pay people to work here, and I guess you can see how that's started to take a toll on the building."

"It's no problem," Harry said, smiling back. "I'm on summer break and I don't have much to do."

"Well, see if your friends want to volunteer too!" the lady said cheerfully.

Harry's smile faded a bit. "Okay."

"We'll start you out with just handing out soup. Just one ladleful for every bowl. By the way, my name's Jennifer," she said. Harry took the ladle and began giving out soup.

There were a lot of interesting people. A lot of them were thin and sickly looking. Some had three or four kids, screaming and crawling around on the floor underneath their feet. Some of the people thanked him. Others looked like they didn't have the strength to both talk and carry their bowls at the same time. It was sad, yet it was a reminder that things could be worse for Harry. After a while, he was promoted to bussing tables, then washing dishes. It was hard work, but satisfying as well. He didn't want to leave when it was over.

He left the soup kitchen, thinking about what to do for the rest of the day. He certainly didn't want to go back to the Dursley's. He didn't have any money, so he knew he'd get hungry soon enough. He wondered if the soup kitchen would let him have a free meal as well, but he didn't want to ask. It seemed horrible to take money away from those poor people when he had a vault with gold in it. Granted, it was wizard gold, but still.

He ended up spending most of the day wandering around aimlessly. Eventually, his stomach started growling, and he went home.

This time, everyone ignored Harry, which was fine with him. Dudley was playing a new video game on his computer that involved a lot of loud gunshots and electronic beeping. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were watching a ballgame on television. They didn't usually, but this game they seemed to be getting into.

Harry went up to his room, where Hedwig was sitting on his bed, a letter and a package strapped to her foot. She hooted gleefully.

"Hi, Hedwig," Harry said, smiling. He took off the package and opened it first. A note and a book fell out.

Dear Harry,

I hope you find this book helpful. Remember, if you need anything, you can write me anytime.

Remus

Harry looked at the book. It was titled Coping with Grief. The picture on the cover was of someone sitting in a rocking chair, crying. Harry thought that was a bit depressing for a book that was supposed to cheer you up. He knew Remus meant well, but he was getting along fine. Well, there were the nightmares, and he was constantly reminded of Sirius no matter what he did... He figured the book was worth a shot. He decided to read it after opening the letter.

Harry,

Mum says Dumbledore wants you to stay at the Dursley's for at least three weeks every summer. It's something to do with the "protection" thing. I'm really sorry. You can definitely come later on, that is if you want to... we're staying at the Headquarters.

Ron

Harry sighed. He wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to go back to the Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. There were so many memories left there.

The anger that had suddenly overcome him earlier rushed through unexpectedly again. It wasn't fair! Why did everything bad happen to him? What little magic the Dursleys had was obviously too small to make a difference. They didn't have any other magic, either. If Voldemort wanted to show up and kill him here, he probably could.

All the unfair things that had ever happened to him seem to surge through him. It wasn't fair his parents had died; it wasn't fair Sirius got pushed through the veil; it wasn't fair that he was the sole person that could defeat Voldemort...

He was so angry he didn't even notice the light bulb was flickering and that small objects had begun to zoom around the room until a pen hit him in the head. Harry immediately tried to calm down. He knew bad things happened when he was feeling strong emotions. It made him think of the time when he'd blown up Aunt Marge. Then he realized all the electricity in the house had gone out, and the Dursleys were shouting from downstairs.

"Hey! I was just about to beat level nine!" Dudley screamed.

"I'm so sorry, Duddy dear," Aunt Petunia simpered. "I can't imagine why the lights went out..."

"That... ruddy... boy..." Uncle Vernon snarled. "I know it was him. He'll get in trouble for making the electricity go out, won't he? He's got a record." Harry considered that, but he didn't think it would count, because he hadn't really done any magic, had he?

"Just so happens that it would be at the very end of the game," Aunt Petunia said suspiciously. Dudley started his fake-crying.

"Aren't you going to do something? I was almost at level ten!" he whimpered. Harry watched from the top of the stairs as Aunt Petunia's face went bright red.

"Can't that boy live at school all year long?" she snapped.

"Unfortunately not," Uncle Vernon replied. Harry didn't feel too badly about the Dursleys acting this way, as they had insulted him like this his whole life—even to his face.

For the next two weeks, Harry kept himself busy. He signed up for a lot of shifts at the soup kitchen, and when he was forced to be at home, he'd read the book Remus had sent him. But misfortune seemed to happen every time he turned around. The first few weeks after Sirius's death, he had had nightmares about that. Now, the nightmares focused on Dudley, who was chasing him, beating him up, or some other horror. In retaliation, even though he knew it wasn't really Dudley's fault, Harry had begun making his life as miserable as possible.

Besides the nightmares, he had dropped a pot of soup at the kitchen, fell down the stairs twice, and spilled a bottle of ink all over his Charms essay Professor Flitwick had assigned for the summer.

One night, Aunt Petunia was in the living room when Harry and Dudley had started to fight over what television show to watch.

"I want to watch Friends!" Dudley shouted.

"Well I want to watch the news!" Harry yelled back. Harry had grabbed the remote, and they had started chasing each other around the living room. Harry jumped over the back of the sofa, leaving Dudley to crash into the coffee table. Dudley yelped in pain, and his mother rushed to her side. Harry got out and, still boiling mad, he stood, breathing hard. Then Aunt Petunia gave him a death stare as she inspected a bruise on Dudley's leg. But it wasn't just one of her usual bad looks, her eyes were literally glowing. Harry, now more scared than angry, backed into the overturned coffee table and fell on his side, his glasses shattering on the hard floor and a painful lump appearing on the side of his head.

"Serves you right!" Aunt Petunia exclaimed. Harry didn't argue. He was too shocked by what Aunt Petunia's eyes had done, and he rushed upstairs to write a frantic owl to Dumbledore, even though Harry hated to bother him on summer break.

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

I'm sorry to bother you, but I had to tell you about something strange that happened. I was in the living room and my cousin and I got in a fight. My cousin tripped over a coffee table, and my aunt did this thing where she looked at me, and it wasn't just a glare... I swear, her eyes were glowing! It might be a crazy theory, but I have to ask you—is there any chance my aunt could have magical powers? I've been having nightmares, and bad things have happened... is there some kind of curse she might have put on me?

Harry Potter

He attached the letter to Hedwig's foot and tried to get to sleep. Yet again, he had nightmares all night long, and awoke to Hedwig's beak rapping on the window in the morning. He tore the letter open, fed Hedwig, and read the reply.

Dear Harry,

As unlikely as it seems, your aunt may indeed have some magical powers, but weak ones. She fears for her son to a point where she may have unknowingly put a curse on you. I have a solution she may not like at first... I think she should spend some time at Hogwarts, and come to terms with magic and, hopefully, you. It may sound even ridiculous at first, but think about it. We don't want you to make any more rash decisions because of her work.

Albus Dumbledore

Harry reread the letter three times. He couldn't believe the suggestion. Aunt Petunia? At Hogwarts? The idea was so absurd, it was hardly worth pondering. He knew his aunt would never in a million years go for it. He wrote Dumbledore back and told him as such. Hedwig finished her breakfast and flew off again. Then he went to the soup kitchen for his daily shift.

All day long, he thought about what Dumbledore had said. Aunt Petunia, having magic? She hated magic and everyone who practiced it. She hated her sister and her nephew for it!

That night, he received a reply. Basically, it said that somebody from the Order would come to the Dursley's house before the start of term, and willingly or not, Aunt Petunia would have to go to Hogwarts. Aunt Petunia would probably be so scared of being turned into a toad, she would willingly go. No one in the Order wanted to see him making mistakes due to trivial things like curses from his Muggle aunt to stop him from winning the fight against Voldemort. Harry wasn't to speak of this at all during the summer, and if he wished to go to Grimmauld Place, he could now. Harry owled Ron and told him he did want to go.

The Weasleys picked Harry up in Mr. Weasley's new car, a yellow station wagon that had been magically altered. Harry was, at first, ecstatic about seeing his friends again, even though the memories that came rushing back were terrible and awfully strong. When Ron stepped out of the car, Harry felt... angry. He thought it was another one of those irrational surges of anger that had been bothering him, so he tried to calm himself down in fear of injuring the Weasley's new car. Ron, oblivious, grinned and started talking a mile a minute.

"It's great to see you again. Wait 'till you hear about our summer!" he said enthusiastically, opening the trunk for Harry's suitcase. Harry ignored the anger and began talking as well, managing to keep the conversation cheerful until they arrived at Grimmauld Place. He stayed in the car and stared at it for a moment before going in.

It was supposed to be a cheerful reunion, but his heart ached for Sirius. Everywhere he looked in the house, there were memories of his godfather. There was no sign of Kreacher anywhere, thankfully.

The rest of the Weasleys, excluding Percy, of course, were also staying there for the summer. Fred and George came and went, as they also had their store to look after. Hermione was staying as well, and so were Tonks, Remus, and the rest of the Order. Mrs. Weasley cooked a huge dinner for them all, so there were even more people at the house than usual.

Harry tried to enjoy himself. He wondered how the soup kitchen was going without him. Now that the house was fixed up, there wasn't much to do but homework, or going on walks around the neighborhood (something that couldn't be risked too often). Harry was glad to be with the people he considered family, but he was still feeling unexplainably angry a lot of the time. It was probably anger at himself, being in these surroundings. He managed to hold it in around his friends. His nightmares returned to being about Sirius, and the Dursleys left his mind completely.

But it was getting harder to control his temper. He tried to keep from snapping at his friends, but sometimes something he didn't mean slipped out of his mouth. Afterwards, he'd feel bad and apologize. His friends always understood—they knew it was just the circumstances, and that he wouldn't be acting like this if it weren't for where they were.

Harry was informed he would continue taking Occlumency lessons, but this time with Dumbledore. Harry thought he probably had a lot on his plate, what with running a school and everything, but Dumbledore, when Harry told him this, said that nothing was more important to him than beating Voldemort. Harry thanked him, and tried to study what little Snape had taught him last year.

One night, there was an Order meeting in the kitchen. No one seemed too interested in listening this time, the novelty had worn off last summer. But later on, Harry heard faint yelling coming from the kitchen. He went to investigate.

"He's... too... young!" he heard Mrs. Weasley scream.

"Dear, you're being unreasonable. I know you want what's best for Harry, but..." Harry leaned in closer. The argument was obviously about him. What could they be shouting about? Harry was tempted to barge in and shout that he didn't want to cause any problems, that all of this wasn't his fault, and that he didn't even want to be here anyway. He wasn't doing any good. He missed the soup kitchen, which had given him a sense of doing something for the world.

"He can't join the Order!" Mrs. Weasley said furiously. Harry gaped. Him, join the Order? At first, it seemed absurd, but then it seemed to make sense. He was feeling useless here, so the Order would give him something good to focus on. He was the only one, according to the prophecy, who could defeat Voldemort, and it would be useful to get a heads-up on his followers and his plans. Also, they might be able to give him a good self defense education, which he obviously wasn't getting at school.

"He's the only one who can kill Voldemort, Molly," Remus said patiently. "Joining the Order would be a good way to keep informed of—"

Mrs. Weasley interrupted him. An old prophecy would not convince her. "The prophecy must be wrong. Surely a child can't defeat one of the darkest wizards ever born." This Harry resented. Hadn't he proved that even an infant could defeat him? Granted, it was under his mother's protection, but what about the other four times in school?

"He's fought him four... no, five times already," Tonks argued.

"He doesn't need something like killing someone—however evil they may be—on his conscience for the rest of his life," Mrs. Weasley snapped.

The argument went on like this for a long time, before Mrs. Weasley sighed. Harry hoped this was a sign of defeat, but instead she said, "We'll have another meeting tomorrow with Dumbledore and the rest of the Order. Until then, try to think about what a mistake it would be."

Chairs scraped back. Harry darted off to his room, thinking about what he'd just heard. Why was Mrs. Weasley so against him joining the Order? Was she really that concerned about his safety, or was there another reason? Harry felt that uncontrollable anger come over him. What business did she have, keeping him out when it would make him safer to fight with the help of the Order? He tried to calm down as he heard footsteps in the hallway.

Ron came in. Harry debated whether to tell him about what he'd heard, but he figured Ron might get jealous that he might be able to join and Ron wouldn't.

At long last, it was time to go back to Hogwarts. Harry still hadn't heard anything about joining the Order. He wondered who their new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher would be, and whether or not the DA should start up again. He packed his trunk, left the house, traveled to the train station, and went through the barrier before realizing he had forgotten about Aunt Petunia coming to Hogwarts. He looked around, but besides the Weasleys, no one from the Order was there, and there was no sign of Aunt Petunia. Maybe they'd given up that plan.

Harry was glad to leave his godfather's house. Maybe a change of surroundings would help his anger management issues. So far, he'd managed to keep from getting into any huge fights with his friends, but he doubted that would last long.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione found a compartment and, waving to the Weasleys, pulled away from the station. They spent the train ride talking with all their other friends, and it was almost like old times. Soon after darkness fell, the train pulled into Hogsmeade station. Harry stared out the window, a wave of memories washing over him. He was comforted to see Hagrid's big figure standing out in the crowd, yelling for the first years to go with him.

"You coming?" Ron asked.

"Yeah," Harry said, and they were soon in a carriage pulled by thestrals. Harry sighed slightly at the sight of them.

Then the castle came into view and a wave of sadness and nostalgia washed over him. The only true home he had was the one that held so many memories, some good and some bad. Yet he didn't want to dwell in the past, so he stepped through the doorway into a new year, which would hopefully bring good fortune and would help leave the past where it belonged—behind him.

Author's notes: This is my NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) fic, and basically the idea is to get to 50,000 words by the end of November. I chose Harry Potter fanfiction for my novel. This is the first 4,000 words. I know the whole point is just to write a novel, but I figure if I don't succeed, at least I have a spiffy novel to post on various websites. Please, tell me what you think, but all flames will be used in my dangerous juggling act. Thanks for reading!