Disclaimer: I down own anything!
"How should we celebrate the death of the slut?" Pietro asked. He stretched out on Scott's bed. He frowned at something that poked his back. Digging under the comforter, he pulled out a few magazines. He smiled as he looked at the cover. "Chick Universe?" He looked excitedly up at Scott. "I didn't know you had enough manly balls to even read a chick magazine!"
Scott flushed and pushed his glasses up. "Aw, it's nothing really."
Toad bounced up. "You've been holding up on us!"
Pietro continued to study the front cover. An amused smile crossed his face. "This is cute."
The cover features a woman with overly revealing clothes and who was kissing a yellow, fluffy, chick.
"Yup. Pretty cute indeed," Pietro repeated. "They've got a hot chick kissing a chick…as in a baby chicken. Get it?"
"Cute?" Toad raised an eyebrow at the silver-haired teen. "You're supposed to use the word cute only when talking about a girl. Not a fucking baby chicken."
Pietro wrinkled his nose. "You're ruining the moment," he complained. "I'm trying to relish in the fact that Scott Summers actually has chick magazines! I mean, really, you'd think he was looking for some gay pornography, especially the way he acts."
Scott looked up. "They don't really have that, do they?"
Toad and Pietro gaped at him. "Please tell me you aren't serious," Toad exclaimed.
"I'm not. I was just curious."
"Lets hope you aren't curious enough to get experimental," Toad said.
Pietro waved the comments away. "Look, who cares about this? He's actually got some dirty magazines. Lets enjoy this while we can. Somehow I feel like this is too good to be true."
Scott smiled. "Trust me. It's full of chicks."
Toad eyed the magazine, then shot the teen a look. "Just what kind of chicks are in this? I've never even heard of this magazine."
"Well…" Scott looked thoughtfully at the cover. "They mostly have yellow chicks in it…if that's what you mean."
"Yellow chicks?" Toad repeated doubtfully.
"Oh! He means Asians!" Pietro exclaimed. "I love Asians! They're the best looking people out there. Except for me. I'm not Asian, but I'm drop dead sexy." He nodded. "I'm so sexy that the sexiest of all sexy Asians would think I'm a god."
"Look," Toad interrupted. "As much as I would love to hear you gloat, which I don't, I'd rather look at chicks. Alright? Can we accomplish that?"
"Ok. I don't have to tell you I'm sexy. You'll just know. I radiate sexiness. You can almost smell it in the air!"
"No. What you smell in the air was me. I couldn't help it."
Scott sniffed. "Oh. I see it now. I kind of thought it smelled like a nasty poot but I wasn't sure."
"A nasty poot?!" Pietro exclaimed. "You need to have a better vocabulary."
"Yeah. When we're talking about manly farts, we don't say 'nasty poot,'" Toad said in disgust. "So anyway, lets look at the magazine."
Pietro smiled with excitement. He opened the magazine, preparing to examine the alleged and long-awaited centerfold. When he saw it, he screamed.
And it wasn't a happy scream. It wasn't a happy scream at all. It wasn't a happy scream like, "OH MY GOD! IT'S ORLANDO BLOOM!" or "OH MY GOD! IT'S CARMEN ELECTRA!" It was a scream of horror, agony, and other words that could describe how Pietro probably felt. It was more like, "OH MY GOD! MICHAEL JACKSON IS IN MY CLOSET! AND I HAPPEN TO BE AN ADORABLE BOY!" See? It was a very very very very unhappy scream.
"OHMYGOD!" Pietro screamed. He threw the magazine away. "Get that crap away from me!"
Scott dove after the magazine. "You can't do that! I've collected these for a long time!"
"Y-you need to get away from me, man!" Pietro exclaimed. He backed away from Scott and ended up falling off of the bed.
"You didn't look at the rest of it," Scott said. He offered the magazine to Toad. "Here. You look at it."
Toad reached cautiously and grabbed it. He flipped through it. Once the pictures fully registered in his mind, he threw it down. "You have some major issues to take care of," he said in a shaky voice. "S-stay away from me!" He hopped towards the door.
Pietro stumbled after him.
"No! You don't understand how cute these things are!"
"Of course we don't! We aren't chicken fuckers!" Pietro exclaimed.
"I'm not either. I just like the pictures." Scott pointed at a particular picture of a fluffy chick. "See this one? It just hatched. It's just amazing to know that it came out of the shell all ugly and now it's cute and fluffy!"
"AWAY!" Toad screamed and shut the door.
Scott closed the magazines and ran a forefinger thoughtfully down the cover. He cocked his head at it. "Why can't anyone look past my strangeness?" He rammed a fist into a pillow. "It's just because I'm white! And I'm a mutant…. It's just because I'm a white mutant that nobody likes me!" Satisfied with this reason that he was shunned, he rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling. He listened very carefully and he suddenly sat up. Had Jean's screaming actually stopped? Was Jean actually dead? Or had she finally cracked?!