Chapter 23

Legal Disclaimer-The rights aren't mine. They belong elsewhere.

Author's Note-Here you guys go...enjoy. All of my reviewers I thank you again. It's almost over, but we have to give Jesse a little time to heal. I've about made him insane. You guys might want a little Kleenex, this ones a hard read.

Lexa Pierce stared at the scene in front of her and thought about the past few hours. It was hard to believe that they had reached this place. Jesse was incoherent. He had awakened soon after he passed out, but wouldn't talk to anyone. He had simply gone into the room that he shared with Emma, took his shoes off and sat on the bed. He stared straight ahead.

Adam had come in and examined him. He had read enough and seen enough to know that Jesse was okay, but was in shock. This was not a shock he could drag him out of; he knew that by instinct, all he could do was let Jesse find his own way out. It was scary to see him like this though. The young man could be such a light when he needed him to be. He put a hand on his shoulder, which Jesse shrugged off like he had hurt him. Adam left the room, not speaking to him, but thinking only one phrase.

Come back when you're ready.

Brennan was working out. His anger over the death of the children was palpable and echoed his frustration over not being able to help Jesse. His brother was seriously hurting. Helping him was the priority, but the workout would clear his mind so that he could better help him. He had to heal before he could help anyone else.

Emma sat with Shalimar, trying to figure out some way to help her husband. Jesse had motioned her off. She had tried everything to get him to talk, but she was scared at how silent he had become. He radiated pain mixed with fear and when she read him, he gave her the largest wall she had ever seen. He knew he would hurt her if the volume of the pain he was in showed and by not letting her in, he knew that he was frustrating her, but he needed the space. Adam had told them all to leave him alone. He would come to them when he was ready, but Emma sensed that something was horribly wrong. Jesse had always been a rock for her; it hurt her to not be a rock for him. She now felt like he was in a raging storm that she couldn't even begin to understand. She could tell how people felt, she could even influence them, but the depth of pain Jesse had felt when the fire started and the kids started dying had burnt him out. His light was gone, and he was lost for the moment. She didn't know when she would find him again. Going into the room hurt too much, he wouldn't even acknowledge her existence.

Pierce tried desperately to understand what was happening around him. Uncle Adam had told him that Jesse needed quiet time, much like when Pierce was working on the computer that he had set up for him. Jesse was in trouble, he could tell, because all the grown ups had talked about Jesse but not to him. They didn't think he was listening, but Pierce did understand.

Pierce had taken to video games. He wished Jesse would play them with him, but Jesse wouldn't talk to him. He had watched him from the door of the room that he was in, and Jesse didn't even seem to know he was there.

Pierce tried to talk to him, not using words, and Jesse stared at him, a look that was far too pained for Pierce to understand. Jesse wouldn't reply to him, just looked at him. Lexa joined Pierce at the doorway, then did something her heart told her she needed to do. She walked in and sat down on the bed next to him.

"You don't have to talk, Jesse," she started, not looking at him, but at the wall behind him, "You don't even have to look at me. I know what you're going through. I care about you. We all do. You don't need to sit here for long; you have loved ones to come back to. Emma can't physically come in here; you're too volatile for her to think straight in here. She hasn't told me that, but I can sense it. Don't need to be psionic for it either. Pierce wants his dad back, I can understand this, but, I will do my best to be his mom, while we wait. You just need to know that we are here, Jess. And we would do anything for you."

Jesse wiped away the tears that fell without warning. He heard her, but the pains of the children's screams were overriding his mind. He couldn't drag himself away from the emotion, it hurt too much. She touched his hand, then left. She had said what she needed to say. Jesse knew she left, but he didn't have the strength to talk to her or follow her. He was also grateful that she took Pierce with her. The kid didn't need to see him like this, he was scared of himself.

Jesse sat in the darkness still. He needed the time to pull himself out of the hole this horror had created. The screams still ate at him. He laid down on the bed, his back to the doorway. It felt good to have his head on the pillow. He craved silence and concentrated on a wall that he could put up on his emotions that would block out his memories. It wouldn't stand, no matter what he did.

Shalimar stood at the doorway that Lexa had vacated and stared at her surrogate little brother, trying to figure out some way to reach him. She had listened to Adam's advice about leaving him alone, but she couldn't. She brought him into this, and had kicked herself for ever asking him to meet her at the Georgetown Bar since. She needed to comfort him in her own way. The only question was how. Brennan had told her quietly that the kids were clones, over 200 didn't make it, and Jesse felt like he had killed every one of them. This horrified her. Jesse had always liked kids, they had talked about them many a night in the early days of Sanctuary. He always knew he wanted them, but the thought of having a kid with his potential had been scary. He hoped that whomever he wound up with in life would understand the need for privacy and his need to be there for his kid, unlike his father was. In the short amount of time she had spent with Pierce, she knew that he would have a father, but the anguish of this new power was separating them. She couldn't figure out what hurt more, the scarred Jesse or Pierce looking sadly at Jesse's doorway.

She too, did what she knew would help. She walked in and sat on the bed. Jesse didn't acknowledge her, he just stared straight ahead. She knew his heart was broken. She wanted to mend his spirit, if she could.

"Hey there, Jess," she began, "I know you'll talk when you want to, and you know that Brennan and I will be there for you. Brennan told me that it was hell, but you have to remember that you saved 200 kids last night. They have homes now, they can run and play. They know it was you who saved them. You also saved your son. That's huge, Jesse, and he's waiting for you as well. I love you, Jesse. Come back to us."

She had fought back the tears for a while, then let them go. She knew the emotion might hurt him, his state being so fragile that she knew he could read her thoughts, but, she knew, he would read the love pouring out of her as well. He was her brother in everything but blood, and she wanted him back.

When she looked up, her eyes met Brennan's at the doorway. Brennan had worked out, cleared his mind and knew that he had to go to Jesse and get him out of the fog he was in. He put a hand on Shalimar's as she left, knowing that she felt the same way he did, all they could do was try. Brennan knew his way might work, or it might drive him further down the path.

He walked into the room, sat on the bed, and stared at Jesse. The blank stare he got back was scary. It looked like his friend no longer resided in the blue eyes he knew and trusted to watch his back or supply a quick joke. The warehouse fire had burned him out.

"Jesse, man, you're in there, I know you are," he began, "And I know you're hurting. Christ, so am I. We did what we could, I know you heard them, I know you're blaming yourself, and this is not your fault. This was the dominion's doing. They know the kids had working minds, but they didn't value their lives. That's what makes us human, Jesse. Read me if you must, I share your horror, bro."

Jesse looked at Brennan for the first time with a bit of light in his eyes. Brennan was right, it wasn't his fault. He wished he could have helped those kids, hearing them scream was the worst thing he could have imagined. Brennan knew, he saw the fire. He smelled the fear coming off the kids, and he knew the sadness of what Jesse felt.

Brennan stared at him, his mind open as ever. This was his friend and he knew that Jesse would not hurt him. Jesse was just in a hell that Brennan could only imagine. He had seen the carnage and Jesse's rage. The Dominion might have thought that they erased a problem from their lives, but what they had done was start a war.

"You know, you asked my why they would kill the kids," Brennan continued softly, "These guys aren't even close to human beings, Jesse. Even though they cloned them from Pierce's DNA, they had minds and souls. This is their karma to live with, not yours."

"Always the Buddhist," Jesse said softly, finding his voice for the first time in days.

Brennan smiled, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. Jesse had a light return to his eyes, one he remembered well. Brennan looked into that light. Jesse was slowly coming back to them.

"Can't help it," Brennan replied, "You want to talk about this, or you want to work it out? You know we're behind you."

Jesse couldn't help but let the tears go again. He had felt the love and emotion of everyone who had walked in. He couldn't talk to them, he wanted to, but the only one who could understand the hell of what he saw was Brennan, he had been there.

"I wish I could stop crying," Jesse replied softly, his voice cracked, "Dammit Brennan, I can't control this. It hurts too much."

"Yeah, life does," Brennan said plainly, "I haven't been much a friend lately, sorry, I had no clue what the telepathy was doing to you. I know that Emma's got it under control, you, you're not even sure if your thoughts are you own, right? You're not crazy, Jesse. Just know that."

Jesse sat up and looked at Brennan full on. He let his guard down and gently read his friend. Brennan was completely sincere. He had concern for Jesse, that kept running through his head, over and over again, but Jesse could tell that the vision he had of the fire was as bad, if not worse than his. He hated seeing the kids die too.

"You done?" Brennan asked after a few heartbeats, "You know there's a whole bunch of people who want you back upstairs, right?"

Jesse nodded, wiping his face with his hand.

"You still got my back?" Jesse asked, his mind out of Brennan's.

"Hell yes," Brennan replied, hand out to grab Jesse's, "And I know you have mine."

The brotherly, ritual handshake was followed by something Brennan had hoped to see. Jesse smiled. He then looked at the doorway. Brennan turned as well. Emma was standing there, her eyes meeting Jesse's.

"I'm going to leave you two alone," Brennan suggested, getting off the bed, "You come up when you're ready, k Jess?"

Jesse nodded as Brennan walked out of the room. Emma looked at him, unable to move from her place on the stairs. She missed him more than she admitted and was holding back every urge to run into his arms. She didn't want to hurt him as much as he didn't want to hurt her. He was able to talk again, thanks to Brennan.

"Emma, I," Jesse started to talk then realized what he needed to do.

He stood up and gathered her in his arms. The images of hours ago still played in his mind, they were becoming easier and easier to deal with, but, they were easier to handle with her in his arms.