Amends
Chapter 3- Direction
A.N: I've had lots of suggestions and support from the reviewers by way of fanfic.net and email, which I'm really grateful for, thanks for the kind words everyone they really do help! Sorry if I kept everyone waiting a while on this chap I was away on holiday in Florida for the past 2 weeks which totalled my internet access and left me no time anyway, but I'll try and make up for lost time here! I thought I'd answer some reviews at the end of every chapter- so that those who ask questions or want my perspective on things can get some answers so look out for those at the end of this chapter. Anyways on to the story, that's what y'all came to see!
Enjoy!
*
Kim threw her keys onto the dresser and collapsed on the bed with a groan. Sheer exhaustion weighed down on her like lead and she could barely face the prospect of rolling back off the bed again to get undressed and into a more sleepworthy ensemble.
As she was steeling herself for the task her cell phone began to trill insistently from her pocket, accompanied by a ticklish vibration on each ring. With another groan and a wince she dug her hand into her pocket and grasped the offending device, squeezing her eyes closed as she pressed the button to accept the call, and put it to her ear.
She really couldn't be bothered to even acknowledge her presence on her end of the line and merely waited for whoever dared disturb her down-time to start talking or go away.
"Kim?" A voice said haltingly on the other end of the line.
She allowed a small smile to twist her mouth at the questioning voice as she finally responded sleepily,
"Jase."
"Thought I'd lost you for a second there Terror." It was a play on her Pterodactyl name that he'd taken to using after they had both left active Ranger duty, though she still hadn't quite decided if she liked it.
"I wondered when you'd finally have the balls to call and face my wrath." She retorted, with eyes still closed.
"I take it then that our semi-instigated happy reunion didn't go as well as we planned." The voice wryly observed.
"Understatement of the century." Kim muttered finally working up the energy to sit up and run a hand through her somewhat crazy hair.
"What happened sis?" Jason asked seriously catching her melancholy undertone.
"What I expected would happen when I finally let you talk me into this."
"Clarification please."
"Quit with the wordiness you faux Billy clone." Kim smiled.
"Hey, can I help it if I'm well educated as well as well travelled? The conference did open a lotta doors for me."
"That was a lotta well's." Kim observed, "I think it's just you trying to look smarter than you are." She teased.
"Get on with it, I know you're dodging the subject Kim." Jason responded, not dignifying her jibe with a counter-attack as that was what she was aiming for.
"You know me too well." Kim sighed but sensing another verbal prod she spilled the beans.
"He was shocked to see me no doubt, spent five minutes simultaneously gawking and spilling coffee on his shoe." That elicited a chuckle from Jason.
"Y'always could knock him speechless Kim, not everything changes."
"Oh, some things do believe me." Kim sighed and continued, "After a little idle banter we got down to it, he asked me why I was there, I told him the truth, he blew up like one of Zedd's monsters."
"Not literally I hope." Jason interjected.
"Might as well have been, he was kinda in pieces, didn't know where to go after that. After a fair amount of yelling he asked me to leave and I did." She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and chewed on her pinkie nail absently.
"I'm sensing more." Jason prodded after a moment of silence.
"Kinda, but not Tommy related. I sorta had a little accident with a bottle of water and decimated my map, so I got lost in the ludicrously large woods near Tommy's house, then I got jumped by these Mutant X rejects, all snarly and ugly, and annoyingly hard to shake, but I got rescued by the new breed of Rangers."
That left Jason silent for a moment.
"Wow. So what were they like?"
"Young certainly, the Yellow Ranger- female I might add certainly seemed like the sensible one, the red one kinda struck me as a bit of a ditzy jock but that seems to run in the colour."
"Owch, below the belt."
"And you know I'm kidding. Blue one seemed more logical, had a bit of a competitive thing with Red from what I saw and heard, which admittedly wasn't much. Made me a bit nostalgic… no Pink though."
"From what I've heard there hasn't been for a few teams. Must be out."
"I'll have you know it's very in this season!" Kim retorted indignantly, protective of her old mantle.
"Of course Kimmie. Now, what to do about Tommy…"
"I knew you couldn't let it drop! There's nothing to do Jase he made it quite clear he doesn't want to hear it, I'm not going to force him to talk to me, not that I could. He's moved on, and so have I, we have different lives now and that's all there is to it."
"If he'd have moved on he wouldn't have reacted in that way and you know it in your gut. And if you'd have moved on you wouldn't care."
"I don-"
"And we both know you well enough to know that you're lying." Jason said bluntly.
"And what if I am? You think we can just pull a Ross and Rachel and miraculously jump back together after all these years, newsflash Jase, this is the real world not some corny sitcom or soap opera. What we had was destroyed when I wrote that letter, you know, you saw the aftermath."
"Yeah, and I've seen since. He could never hate you Kim, much as he wants you both to believe he does. He isn't capable of hate, and he still cares about you, you saw the way he talked to you on Muiranthias, he almost broke Maligore's spell single handed."
"A lot's changed since then Jase." Kim said quietly.
"Has it?"
Kim frowned and rubbed her temples tiredly. "It's not simple like it was when we were kids, I'm not gonna get closure here Jase, I'm gonna get hurt, and I'm gonna end up hurting Tommy, I already have for god's sake! I don't know him anymore, I don't know who he is. He's like a wall, he's impenetrable."
"Well you knew he wasn't gonna welcome you with open arms Kim." Jason said, his voice sympathetic.
"I know, and the only reason I agreed to this was to get some peace of mind. To be able to look you guys in the eye when you all ask whether I've talked to him yet, whether I've swallowed my pride. It's important to me because it's important to you, and yes, I realised I owed him an explanation, whether he wanted it or not. And now it's done and he knows and there's nothing left."
"He hasn't heard it all. Don't you want to get it all out in the open?"
"It's not important. He doesn't want or need to hear it."
"Yes it is. You want me to call him?"
"No! He'll feel like we're ganging up on him and that'll only make him worse Jase, he doesn't need to feel like he's being cornered here, you're his best friend, he won't want to think you're taking my side when I'm the one who wronged him. Promise me you won't call him!"
"Okay, okay, cool it Kim, I won't." She could hear Jason holding up his hands on the other end of the line to placate her.
"Now I need to get some sleep and steel myself for the drive back home."
"You're gonna leave now?"
"Well duh, there's no reason I'd stay here now is there?"
"Whoah, you need a holiday, you admitted it yourself it was non-stop at the gym and you wanted a break. You are gonna stay in Reefside and get some R and R, maybe you should give Tommy a chance to cool down."
"Jason it is never going to happen!"
"You'll all feel different after a good night's sleep. I'll talk to you later. Night Pinky."
"Night Jase."
~
Tommy was trying to resist the urge to smother himself in his sofa's pillows. He had spent the whole of the night grading papers and his hand felt about ready to fall off.
"Man I shoulda stuck to racing, all this work is gonna kill me." He mumbled wearily to himself, realising with a sinking feeling that now his mind was unoccupied with science it would become occupied with Kim and how he had left things. He had began to feel increasingly guilty, especially after hearing from his Rangers. He had remembered his own counsellors Zordon and Dimitria and how wise and pure and calm they had been in the face of everything fate and adversity had put in their paths.
*Zordon, I could really use your wisdom now.* He thought sadly, his old mentor had- just as in Kim's words- been like a father to him and all of them. As a leader and now a mentor himself he wished he had had the wisdom and patience of Zordon, and his advice right now.
*But I know what his answer would have been, Kim was my best friend and my heart, and I turned my back on her today, 'cause I'm still bitter over something that happened years ago. That I should at least hear her out, and grant us both some closure.* He picked up his coffee mug and swirled the cloudy remnants of earlier around the bottom in a rhythm. Then wordlessly he hurled it across the room where it shattered against the wall and left a dark stain on the paint.
"But you're not here! So we all have to face this world and our problems alone. And I've failed just like I have before… I'm no leader to them…I can never be what you were!" As his heated rush of anger subsided he trailed off, voice tinged in frustration and guilt. His emotions were conflicting and confusing, swirling round his head in a tumult and he couldn't face it but he couldn't escape it. There went his legendary composure again, he really was a failure, he thought as he brought his head down to rest in his hands, fingers raking small trails through his spiked hair.
He hadn't had an attack of self-doubt for a blissfully long time, but man had they been common back when he was a new ranger, losing his powers, in the grips of first teenage all-consuming love, so many new emotions and new problems, stuff that no teenager should go through, and stuff he realised he would be putting his new charges through in times to come.
He knew what they would face because he had faced it too, and it had royally fucked him up for some time to begin with. But… it had made him who he was today, and it had made him and his relationships with others stronger. His relationship with Kim stronger. And he knew he was pathetic for acting how he had been. He could never be Zordon, but he could be Tommy Oliver, two time leader of the Power Rangers and by other's admissions one of if not the best.
*Even if those other bastards didn't want to admit it.* He thought wryly. He had thought about Zordon a lot over the years, especially after meeting Andros. If he had been in the same position Tommy doubted he could ever have had the strength to destroy Zordon, even in such a situation. It would have been like killing your own parents. It have given Tommy a great deal of respect for the Red Space Ranger, and made him confident to rely on Andros as his unofficial second in command on the mission on the moon. Zordon had been a guide for all of them, and Tommy still felt the loss.
*And there's someone who'll understand the trauma.*
He picked up the phone and dialled a number that had become quite familiar in the passing months since their Red Ranger Reunion, after all, it had been a double edged thought as his bouts of self-doubt had not always been that uncommon and there was someone besides Kim who he had confided that in.
"Tommy man, I was just about to call you."
"Hey Jase. You know that pesky caller ID thing you have really freaks people out, makes me think you acquired a sixth sense while I wasn't looking."
"Precisely why I got it bro." Jason laughed, thinking that Kim would batter him to death with a shoe if she knew who he was talking to, and he could imagine his meekly delivered excuse,
"But he called me!" He smirked. Perfect.
"And may I enquire as to the nature of this call?" Jason asked in a mock haughty tone.
"I was wallowing in self pity."
"Ah so nothing out of the ordinary there then." Jason teased.
"Nah, I was just thinking, since I gave the three kids their powers, I've given them a whole lot of emotional baggage to deal with too."
"And you're feeling guilty because they didn't ask for it, just like we didn't ask for it, but you had to do it anyway." Jason filled in the blanks, becoming serious at Tommy's brooding.
After their mission to the moon Tommy and Jason had made sure to keep in better touch than they had been, and began to speak on a weekly basis. Through this Jason had been kept in the loop about Tommy's work with Anton Mercer, and work on building the means for a new Ranger team should they be needed, which they both knew they would. And when Jason had last spoken to him less than a week ago, those positions of Power had finally been filled. Jason had made the decision to keep Kim in the dark about Tommy's work on the new Rangers, figuring it would be a good conversation starter, and something Tommy should reveal to her out of trust. That plan wasn't going so well.
"Couldn't have said it better myself." Tommy sighed lying back against the couch.
"Bro, you did the right thing, and they're gonna accept it. It's not something to be taken lightly, but it is something they'll be proud of and it will help them in the long run."
"Yeah I know man, I know."
"That's not all though is it?"
"You sure you haven't grown a sixth sense?"
"Quit stalling." Jason prodded, smiling slightly at the reflections mirrored in this conversation from his earlier one with Kim.
"Kimberly came back."
"Bro." Jason said, trying his hardest to feign shock.
"Don't even try that with me Jason, you knew about it."
"Guess we do know each other too well." Jason muttered.
"That, and you're a really bad liar."
"It comes from being so pure of heart." Jason said in a high innocent tone that made them both chuckle.
"Sure Jase, sure." Tommy snorted. "Seriously, what's the deal here man?"
"All I know she's looking for closure. She's been brooding over how things ended, how they were left, and how it affected the relationship with the rest of the team. Because she lost contact with you it broke things with Adam and Rocky, never mind Katherine. She felt guilty as hell, and although as time passed the hurt grew less, she still felt awful about it. She just wanted a chance to clear the air, tell the truth, reach some sort of conclusion with you, she felt she owed it to you." Jason didn't want to give away everything, or how much he had been involved in Kim's return, it wouldn't do any good as Kim said, if Tommy felt he was being set up by a best friend.
Jason's words didn't do much to alleviate Tommy's guilt trip, but he had known deep down that he shouldn't have reacted quite so extremely.
"I know she hurt you badly bro, and that she lied to you and betrayed your trust, but everyone makes mistakes, you know that."
"Especially me." Tommy voiced what he knew Jason was hinting at, not as a personal dig, but as the truth, for everyone.
"Especially us all. When you first came on the team and Rita used those spells against us to make you and I resent each other, and compete against each other, we may not have hated each other like she wanted, but it did build on feelings that were already there. That maybe I wasn't as comfortable sharing the team and the power with someone new, and maybe you didn't want to be seen as weaker or talked down to because of my arrogance. But we overcame it and forgave each other, we worked past everything and we became stronger teammates, friends and people because of it all. We're brothers. And she was your best friend,"
Jason knew his words were building on what Tommy already knew inside was right, but he needed a push in the right direction, he needed the courage that was buried inside him, that he sometimes forgot he had. So when Tommy offered no objection Jason continued.
"And yeah, she hurt you, but in the beginning, when you were turned evil, you really hurt her. And you weren't yourself, but it didn't stop her from feeling it. She cared for you even then. But she looked past it. She gave you another chance and she helped us all to do the same because she knew that no-one's perfect, and she could see the good inside you, we all could."
Tommy swallowed a lump in his throat that had suddenly found its way there as he listened to Jason speak words he knew were true. And it was so long ago, how had the wounds been so fresh and deep? He knew, even though he couldn't forgive and forget so quickly, he at least owed Kim the chance to explain. And yes, it would definitely hurt, but he was a grown-up now, he would handle it, and he would probably hurt her in the process, but it was high time they both faced their past like adults.
"You're right Jase. It's no wonder Zordon picked you to be the leader out of everyone else in the world." They both smiled at the bittersweet memories.
"You knew it all bro, you just needed a push in the right direction."
"Yeah, and you're a very persuasive pusher as well as a pain in the ass. I hate it when you're right."
"Then you must be hatin' all the time!" Jason quipped.
"Remind me to send you a pin to deflate that ego of yours Mr. Scott."
"Only if I can send you a pump to top yours up from time to time Dr. Oliver." Jason responded.
Tommy chuckled but was back to business, realising the late hour.
"I'll do what I have to do tomorrow, it's time Kim and I got everything out in the open, that way maybe we'll both find some peace."
"Good luck bro, try to get some work done tomorrow before you go off on a Kimberly crusade."
"I will Jase, and thanks."
"No problem, what are wise old leaders for?"
Tommy smiled as he hung up the phone.
"What indeed?" He murmured scratching his chin absently as he climbed the stairs to bed, steeling himself for what tomorrow would bring.
He allowed one final thought to accompany him to sleep.
*I'll make you proud Zordon.*
*
Okay that was quite a loooong chapter, though it was mostly dialogue which pushes the length up. It was kind of a filler, a graduation chapter to propel you to the action and heart of the story beyond, hope it wasn't too long for you to deal with. Jason's always been hard for me to write, he had depth and a lot of hidden facets in the show, but didn't always seem that articulate, but then again who predicted Tommy Oliver having a PhD and being all teacherly? Years mature a man, and these two have grown up somewhat, so I hope my characterization was alright, you'll have to tell me if you thought it was horrible! But remember I bruise like a peach! Next chapter will probably be shorter, as I thought of adding it onto the end of this one but I felt it would feel a little out of place and this was quite satisfactory as a stand alone chapter. I thought it gave some insights into what our characters were really thinking, and because it was somewhat lacking in the Tommy/Kim angst department, I gave you Tommy angst instead. Even the legendary Tommy Oliver can have his bad days, and a blast from his past I think would certainly merit a mental breakdown! It was a bit soppy, but hell I like fluff, and Power Rangers pretty much is all about the peace and love and friendship conquering all, so I'm just staying true to the source!
Anyway, enough of my posturing in defence of this sick inducing brotherly love sweetfest ;) (my God I hope you don't view it as that!) Onto the reviews!
I'm only responding to those who reviewed chapter 2 and should get responses unless someone demanded a response of course, because to go through all those reviews would certainly make this chapter even longer than it already is, and would waste my time and yours! So here we gogo-
Yami Kero- I look forward to seeing your story, I'll have to check it out. If you a drop me a line when its done I'll be sure to have a looksee, there is a lack of DT fanfic out there at the moment so it's all good to see something new. Thanks for reviewing!
Tomgirl27- Happy birthday! I hope you enjoyed the new update, lets call it a gift, as it's your birthday and I'm nice like that, it can be dedicated to you! There, name in bold and everything! Regrettably I don't watch Beyblade, but I shall try and check out your story sometime soon and see if I can understand it anyway lol. I shall probably keep the Black Ranger thing in, mostly because I adore Tommy and I think he kicks booty in black, hey was that just me giving away a plot point? Shame on me! I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing, specially as you didn't know what to say!
ShiroZyu- I was worried on my characterization of the Dino rangers, so it was very reassuring and comforting that you liked them, makes me feel not like a big fat failure, so many thanks to you! Ta for the review!
hartfelt- Groovy name by the way! You may not be far off the mark with some of your hopes, but I won't give away which just yet, I like to keep the mystery element alive as long as possible, we'll call it suspense! I'm glad you will still read and review, no matter what I go with, I hope you continue to love it, sorry it was Jason's cameo this chapter, but perhaps I could weedle in a little Pink Ranger Power ;) thanks!
Megazord Master- Nice use of alliteration in that name there…I'm sorry I have an English teacher who brainwashes us into thinking like that…I need t go and take a hot shower to cleanse myself, bleugh! Anyway, thanks for the suggestions, I shall keep them in mind as they run along with my plans anyway :D The Ninja Powers are a handy little power source to think about, you will be hearing more about this later…*puts on shades and acts mysterious and aloof* thanks again!
Twitch1- Ah, another fan of the angst thing, it is all rather delicious I do agree. Or perhaps I'm just a closet sadist. In any case, I'm sure I'll be interested in all these different approaches to Tommy/Kimness that you have, I had a glance at your profile and you definitely seem like an author I should have discovered a long time ago, shame on me I say and I will most definitely check out your work as soon as I have some spare minutes! Yeah, happy endings, you and me both, I'm just a big believer in the adage 'the path of true love never did run smooth' which I intend to fully use, and don't you fret about that Haley, there's no way there's gonna be a hook up there… they have no chemistry at all! Or perhaps I'll stick some in to throw you all off, but maybe that's just the sadist talking. Thanks for reviewing I hope you like the rest.
Vespera- Ah a review I can sink my teeth into, I'm glad you see where I'm coming from on the angle I'm attempting here, how time has changed them but there are these underlying emotions there that aren't so easy to get rid of, at least that's what I'm aiming for, I hope it comes across lol! I'll keep your ideas in mind, and don't worry I'll try to avoid retelling the story, we've seen it after all there's no point in regurgitating what's been done. The danger of that will only be in the next couple of chapters while I try and incorporate the earliest episodes with the story and twist them into a new shape, you'll just have to let me know how I'm doing on that front. I hope you liked this chapter and thanks again for the comments!
C2- Thanks for the review you asked a lotta good questions, but those I probably won't answer so as not to give anything away *laughs* I'm evil huh? I probably won't stray far into the AU territory, if at all as I am loving the way DT is going so far, I'm just trying to give it the T/K twist lol. Haley will be in it at some point as I'm certainly using at least some parts of DT as foundation here and Haley does play quite an important part for the Ranger team in any case. Thanks for the comments and guesses, I hope you enjoyed the update!
Chelsea-The one chapter 1 reviewer I felt I should respond to, if you're still reading, and you're probably not to thrilled with the turn I've taken. I felt that as you said, Tommy's actions were justified, and that yes Kim is rather to blame for the events that transpired. But unfortunately I am a die-hard T/K supporter, and have been since their beginning in MMPR when I watched as a kid. In my opinion, and it is only my opinion so doesn't count for much, Haley and Tommy have little chemistry, and although it is a neat set-up, grad-school chums and now in a semi partner-in-crime capacity, it's not a pairing I could ever consider working, and maybe Doug Sloan and co. will write it differently in coming times but that's their call, this is mine, I'm playing in their sandbox but I'm gonna play my way and have some fun with it. I'm sorry you don't support the relationship but I hope that you might continue reading just for the hell of it, and I will do all in my power not to turn this into a mindless story with all growth and maturity tossed out, I hope the way I am presenting this and will continue to present this is a feasible adult view, taking into account history and their personalities, and that I will continue to please my readers who believe in the pairing. If you decide not to read, that is your call, and I wish you a good life, but I do ask that you reserve judgement, and not tar all T/K fics with the same brush, because for every juvenile unrealistic portrayal of their reunion, I can name ten brilliant ones by fabulous authors who can portray the relationship with depth and maturity. Thanks for reviewing.
And thanks to all my reviewers, you inspire and motivate me to carry on, and you're all so wonderfully supportive. I hope you continue to enjoy the story, even though this was a weaker chapter to get us into the action of the next few! Stay with me it'll get better I promise!
Well, despite my best efforts, this chapter is still obscenely long, but what can you do when you have a lot to say to a fair number of people! I hope you all enjoyed this update and look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas, feel free to email if you don't want to review, and I hope I'll see you next chapter!
Catch ya on the flipside!
xXx