What It Means To Love You

Chapter 5: Walking On Tightrope

Standard disclaimers apply.

-X-

(Kenshin's POV)

God, I'm so lucky to have you. You have helped me so much and I understand now that what I decided was the right one, even if it means living in a place without you for so long.

My father told me I had one more week left and would not have allowed me to go to school but I told him I wanted to spend it with my friends and you. We leave on Saturday morning and today is Monday, so I only have five days left.

Funny how things can do a 180 so quickly and without warning. A week ago, I would never have thought of leaving my country and friends behind to move to Canada. I had thought that all of us would graduate together, go to college and eventually live in the real world while still remaining connected. Now I won't even graduate with you, with my friends. First semester is over and I have to spend the remaining half of my year in Canada and I will graduate there.

Of all the rotten things is the fact that I will not be able to see you everyday, hold you in my arms or look into your eyes or kiss you.

And to wipe away your tears when you're sad or make you smile when you're angry at something. I'll be thousands of miles away, wondering what you will be doing at the moment.

We walk in the hallway together, holding hands and keeping silent. We don't look at anybody but I look at you, trying to memorize your beautiful features. Your beautiful gray eyes, soft skin and serious mouth and your long black hair. You let it flow over your shoulders today, knowing I love it that way. My heart squeezes in gratitude and longing.

I will miss you most of all.

I wrench my gaze away from you and hesitantly look around the hall. Apprehension fills me as I search for my friends. When I had called them last night in your house and broke to them the news, they thought I was joking at first. Then realized I was perfectly serious.

Then they hung up on me abruptly without saying anything. Only Kaoru didn't hung up. She assured me that I was doing the right thing and I imagined her crying so softly as she talked to me, the tears spilling down her cheeks and I felt myself tearing up as well.

And now I wonder if any of my friends, save Kaoru, will talk to me or even look at me.

"Kenshin, Aoshi and Misao are coming towards us," you tell me softly, staring straight ahead. You give my hand a reassuring grip and I look ahead of me. I see Aoshi and Misao coming at us indeed and for the first time, Misao is as silent as Aoshi. She is pale and distracted. Obviously, she is thinking of what I had announced last night. But Aoshi looks the same as ever. His face is as shuttered and deadpan as ever, eyes divulging nothing. He is the master of hiding his emotions, that Aoshi. One would never guess that someone as hyper as Misao and someone as unspoken as Aoshi love one another. But there is never any doubt in my mind.

Misao spots me and stops, clutching Aoshi's arm and pauses him as well. You and I both stand still as well. Both of them are only a couple of steps away and I see the accusing and hurt look in Misao's jade eyes. It feels like a slap to the face. Then I glance at Aoshi and am surprised to see the flicker of anger in his ice blue depths. But then I should not be startled. Aoshi and I have been friends as long as Kaoru and I have been friends and though he remains stoic and unflinching most of the time, we have an understanding of our friendship.

"Misao-dono," I hesitantly say, unsure of what she will do. Misao is an outrageously unpredictable person. Very spontaneous. I look at her carefully.

"Himura," she says coldly, giving me a very edgy look. "Yukishiro."

Tomoe gives the slightest nod, acknowledging Misao.

"I…well." I don't know what to say. I am not good with confrontation, actually. Never has, never will.

After a particularly tense moment, Misao finally does something.

"You.Stupid.Bastard!" she yells and lunges at me, tackling me to the ground. Everyone else in the hall stops and stares at Misao and me as she throttles my neck. In my daze, I look at Aoshi over Misao's shoulder and see the sort of smug look on his face. Then my eyes see Tomoe glancing down at me with the same expression.

Great, I deserve being throttled to the ground in school.

"Baka! Baka! Baka!!!" Misao curses furiously and she lets go of my neck to give me a sound punch in the eye. Pain rushes to my face and I look at her, the gaze of my left eye fuzzy and tingling with pain.

Misao looks at my eye, which I figure is quickly turning blue, and suddenly cries. "Kenshin you're such an ass." Then she steps off me and helps me up. I clutch my bruising eye, gaping at her.

"You so deserve that," Misao points at me, sniffling and giving me death glares.

Tomoe pulls my hand away and looks at my face. "It should heal before your flight. Let's go to the nurse's office."

Aoshi places a comforting arm around Misao's shoulders as she tries to contain her tears. He looks at the crowd around us and gives all of them a meaningful and threatening glare. They quickly disperse, muttering at one another and giving us strange looks.

-X-

"Damn Misao, you pack quite a punch," I tell her later in the clinic, pressing an ice pack to my swelling eye. The bell rang a few minutes ago but they are still with me in the clinic.

Misao snorts and crosses her arms, eyes narrow. "As I said, you deserve it."

"Do you still need to unleash your anger at me?" I ask wryly, wincing as a sharp pain lace through my tender eye. Misao gives a toothy grin though her green eyes are still full of betrayal and hurt. "Maybe, Himura, but I'll refrain from doing it. Wouldn't want you arriving in Canada in pieces," she spats out bitterly, looking away.

I sigh.

"Misao, I told you, it's the right decision for my parents, for me and though I am completely unwilling to do it, they are my parents and I had to," I tell her quietly, looking down at my sneakers, avoiding her and Aoshi's eyes.

You are sitting beside me, saying nothing but I feel her tense.

I hear Misao give a resigning exhale. "I know all that Himura, that's the only thing that is keeping me from pummeling you to the ground right now. But it doesn't mean I have to like it."

I look at her and offer a weary smile. She takes it and returns an equally weary smile.

Aoshi sniffs and I take it that he feels the same way as Misao.

Suddenly, the door bursts open and Megumi rushes inside, engulfs me in a smothering bear hug and cries, "Oh my poor Ken-san! What did that silly girl do to your lovely face?"

She knocks off my hand and sent the ice pack flying away, leaving my bruised eye in the open. She sees the bruise and whimpers. "Oh my darling! Your eye!!!" She turns to Misao and glares at the unrepentant girl. "Look at what you've done!"

Misao juts her chin in the air and defiantly says, "Ha! He deserves that after what he told us last night!"

I look sideways at you and notice the close look on your face as if you're not really watching what is happening. Luckily, Megumi pulls away and starts an argument with Misao so I am able to take your hand in mine.

"Tomoe, you okay?" I softly ask you.

You gaze at me with sad eyes and I understand. I'm feeling the same way as well, though the racket made by Megumi and Misao distracts me.

"Even if Kenshin deserves it he still doesn't deserve it!" Megumi argues without sensei, haughtily flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

Misao stares at her with an unbelievable look. "Hello! That so totally did not make any sense! Besides, he knows he deserves it!"

"Whatever."

Misao sticks her tongue at her and turns around, furiously stomping over to where Aoshi is standing calmly.

Megumi turns to me and her face flickers with emotion. "Ken-san, you really are leaving, aren't you? When do you go?"

My head – and eye – starts to pound and I let go of your hand to face the inquires and accusations of my friends. "Five days from now, Megumi-dono. On Saturday morning."

An ominous silence descends in the clinic and I feel a strange mixture of trepidation and déjà vu.

Suddenly, again, Kaoru arrives through the door followed by Sano and Soujirou. Her face is full of worry and curiosity and well, Sano and Soujirou looks the same as Misao moments ago when she was still fuming and throttling me.

Kaoru sits on the other side of me, eyes glancing quickly at Tomoe and darkening. "Oh Kenshin, what happened? I heard that Misao kicked your butt pretty good from the rumor mill." She looks at my black eye and winces and I deduce that it must look terrible.

"I'm okay, Kaoru-dono and no, Misao did not kick my butt. She merely gave me a bruise is all," I say patiently, glancing at the melting ice pack beside the long wooden sofa we are sitting on. Kaoru follows my gaze and immediately picks up the ice pack and hands it to me. I gratefully accept it and press it to my eye once more.

There is another, déjà vu-like hush.

"Um, hey Tomoe-san," Kaoru greets belatedly, offering a shy smile.

Everyone else exchanges looks, knowing full well the conflict between the two. More so than I.

You give Kaoru a small smile in return. "Kaoru."

The others let out a collective sigh of relief. Kaoru reddens in humiliation and looks away, coughing into her hand.

Then Sano speaks up, his voice hard. Really déjà vu.

"So Kenshin, when are you leaving?"

Yes, definitely déjà vu. The kind I don't like.

I predict that this week will be the most strenuous and taut week of my entire life.

-X-

Um, lame end to this chapter, I know but I'm running late!!! So sorry! And thanks so much for the reviews. They make me blush. And this is the first time I've made people cry with my stories so I'm really glad I can write tear-jerking drama fics. And please, please, can you tell me Akira's last name? Please? And how he looks if he has brown hair or blonde and the color of his eyes? Please! I've forgotten and grrr, it's at the back of my brain but I can't pull it to the front!!!

And now please click that lovely button down there to tell me what you think!!!