Chapter 4

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"What are you doing?"

Lucca looked up briefly from the sheet spread out over the newly purchased drafting table tucked into one corner of her room, lit dimly by a lamp in the corner, the bit of light streaming in from the door, and the faint glow of moonlight filtering through the curtains.

"Oh, hey, Magus," she greeted absently, stretching her arms up over her head to try to alleviate the ache between her shoulder blades from spending the past eight – or had it been twelve? – hours bent over her diagrams. Then she stopped, her pencil dropping to the drafting table with a clack, from which it proceeded to roll to the floor. "How did you get in here, anyway? My parents aren't usually in the habit of letting strange men into their daughter's bedroom. And you're certainly what they'd call strange..."

"Your mother was already asleep," Magus replied with a smirk. "And it turns out that your father can be won over in much the same manner you can."

Her eyes narrowed, and he found himself rather impressed. When combined with the intricately twisting silver circlet set with the prescribed amethyst that they had decided would be a staple of her wardrobe, obviously found to replace the black velvet headband, the effect was, really, almost menacing. She was far too youthful and...cutesy to be truly menacing, but at a mere nineteen years old, that wasn't surprising. Perhaps age would turn that into a dark, sinister loveliness that had served so many villainesses so well in the past. While his thoughts wandered, she had continued.

"You gave him a book to distract him, didn't you?"

He nodded, looking faintly pleased with himself. Then he frowned.

"What are you doing?" he asked again, crossing his arms and shifting his weight to one foot in what his newly-made protégé had already come to title his 'I'm annoyed, but I'm too cool to throw a tantrum' pose.

"Oh! Well, I was thinking about what you said – "

"I'm glad to hear it, but I don't see my choice for your costume anywhere." His tone implied deep disgust and disappointment.

"Not about that!" she barked. "No, what you said about how a villain has to think ahead. I figure, even if evil minions and tools of mass annihilation don't come until Chapter 13, I might as well start working on it. Come look at this."

Rolling his eyes slightly, he made his way across the room to the drafting table. Standing behind her, he peered over her shoulder at the diagrams covering the slanted surface.

"What are those?" he asked flatly.

"They're preliminary sketches for my army of evil robot minions! I went to see Robo to ask if he could spare any guys, but I think he knew what I wanted them for, because he just sort of muttered that they couldn't, and he had to get going, anyway. Then he slammed the door in my face. Weird, huh?"

"Just as well," Magus said with a faintly amused expression. "Robo and his 'brothers' aren't what I would call a sleek design."

"Hey, I think Robo's great just the way he is!"

"Ah. As enlightening as it is to find out what you look for in a man – you're apparently fond of fixer-upper projects – we do have a lot of things to do today, and doodling silly little robots isn't among them.

"But we need minions eventually, don't we?"

"Of course we do, but frankly, Lucca, I'm a little disappointed that evil robots are the most creative thing you can come up with."

"What's wrong with evil robots?" she protested hotly, spinning her chair about so suddenly that he had no time to dodge, and gave a shout of pain as her foot, pointy-heeled boot and all, collided with his knee.

"The problem with evil robots," Magus began, rubbing his knee gingerly, "is that they're far too cold and impersonal. Even if one dislikes one's enemy, one must respect him."

"Or her," Lucca interjected, frowning at this blatant display of sexism.

"Oh, shut up. Now, as I was saying, to disregard this rule is to not only disregard all sense of evil villain etiquette, but to eventually lead to one's own downfall."

"But...how is sending robots to kill them disrespectful?"

"Come now, Lucca," Magus smirked in a tone expressing deep pity for such a thick-headed girl. "Don't tell me that you wouldn't have been a little insulted if I had sent an army of fax machines and blenders after you, Crono, and that idiotic Glenn when you came for me."

"Actually, I'd have been more weirded out than anything," Lucca admitted, hopping off of her chair. "And anyway, what you sent after us wasn't much better. I personally find cross-dressers more insulting to my skills as a gunwoman than robots."

"If you're talking about Flea," Magus growled, "I will thank you to let the dead rest in peace."

"And Slash! What the heck kind of name is that?"

"The name of one of the greatest warriors of all time!"

"And Ozzie! Good God!"

A pause.

"Alright, now, I agree with you on Ozzie."

Lucca shook her head in exasperation, hands on her hips.

"But seriously, Magus, if you don't like evil robots as minions, what do you suggest?"

"Something a lot more elegant. Perhaps cat-people?"

"No way," Lucca said immediately. "Too arrogant, and if you put a shiny thing in front of their eyes, they totally forget what they were doing."

"Much like your family with books."

"Shut up!"

"Fine, then. No cat people. How about ninjas?"

"Too independent. They're sneaky, but they're sneaky where their boss is concerned, too. I don't want to die with a throwing star from one of my own men embedded in my skull. I don't know...I'd just like to avoid minions with their own agendas."

Magus rolled his eyes.

"Then what CAN we use?"

"I already told you; I'm going with the evil robots."

He rolled his eyes more emphatically, dropping to the single bed pushed into the corner opposite the door, with a weary sigh.

"Lucca, if you want to talk about minion uprisings from minions with their own agendas, evil robots are the poster-children for it!"

"That's why I insert a doomsday device. Any sign of independent thought, and BOOM!"

Magus looked distinctly impressed.

"I am distinctly impressed. Perhaps I have trained you better than I thought. Or perhaps the heritage is more deeply ingrained in you than anyone could have known."

"Or maybe this whole villain thing is just way too easy," she suggested, standing before the full-length mirror nailed up onto the inside of her bedroom door, and swirling her cape about her. "Forget 'those who can, do, and those who can't, teach'; those who can't, become evil villains!"

"You're deluding yourself if you think it's all this easy," he told her stonily.

"Hey, I'll worry about the hard parts when I come to 'em, Maggie," she grinned over her shoulder.

His glare deepened.

"One of 'the hard parts' might be finding a place to hide the next time you call me that."

"See? That's just the problem! You threaten and threaten, but I know you'll never actually do anything! If you villains were worth your salt, you wouldn't hesitate to kill even your protégé for insulting you! All talk and no action: that's exactly what YOU are."

Magus raised one eyebrow, his smirk ever so faintly suggestive.

"And the lack of 'action' distresses you?"

Lucca wheeled about, creating a nicely billowing effect with the purple-lined black cape that had really quite grown on her over the past few days, and gave a bark of laughter.

"Are you JOKING? You're not my type."

"Oh, of course," he scoffed, crossing his arms and looking airily away. "Your 'type' is robots that need repairing every ten minutes.

"Not for that sort of thing," she giggled. "Although, they are doing amazing things with battery-operated...oh, never mind! While we're on the topic, what about you? I don't exactly see the girls flocking to you. The closest thing you had was Flea! I guess that explains it: you can't find a woman, so you order one of your minions to dress up like one!"

Throughout this speech, Lucca had been moving away from the mirror, having quickly tired of it, and moving toward the man seated on her bed. At this last statement, she reached him, put her hands on his knees, and leaning thus, grinned cheekily at him from a distance of less than three inches between their noses.

For a moment, both were silent. Then...

"Are you quite done?"

"Yeah, yeah," Lucca pouted, disappointed. Magus was so darned much fun when he was angry, but it seemed that it wasn't everyday that he would rise to her bait. This was, apparently, a day that business-like cool would override that cold, tightly controlled outrage at gentle teasing. "So, what's the plan, Evil Man?"

"I thought that this might be a nice evening for your coming out."

"My...what?"

"Your coming out," he repeated, an edge of impatience in his tone. "When we introduce you to society."

"Hey, unless there's been a sudden in-rush of people, I can't think of anyone in Truce that needs to be introduced to me."

"I meant, you as a villain!"

Lucca stopped short and frowned. Somehow, it hadn't occurred to her to think about that inevitable time when those people she had known all her life would find out about her new pastime. Somehow, the thought of all those shocked, horrified expressions made her uneasy.

"Uh...do we really have to do that? Couldn't I be, like, a secret villain?"

"Lucca, working from the shadows may be fun, and may seem like the perfect solution, for now. But you will tire of it," he explained, resting one hand gently on her shoulder. "There will come a time when you will want to take credit for your multitudes of evil deeds, and it will be galling, to say the least, when you step forward to accept the praise of men and nations, only to find out that they don't believe the acts were yours, because some middle-aged hack of a man has taken credit for them"

"Uh...right. It's just that I don't think my parents'll be too crazy about their daughter becoming a villain."

Magus sighed.

"Very well, then. We'll travel somewhere where no one knows you. Will that do?"

"Great! To the Epoch, then?"

"Yes, yes, to the Epoch," he grumbled. "Damn it. I thought I'd never be stuck in that cramped bucket of bolts again...

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Half an hour later saw the two moving swiftly through the night, camouflaged into near invisibility by the darkness surrounding them. More silent than silence itself did these two wraith-like shadows glide, drawing closer to their destination, the first step in the fruition of their scheme.

"Just where did you leave the Epoch, anyway?" Magus demanded.

"Well, I couldn't just keep it here; you know how my father loves to tinker."

"Actually, I don't, and I would just as soon keep it that way."

"Whatever. Anyway, Crono and I agreed that it would be safest to keep it in the basement of the castle. Unfortunately, we'll have to break in to get it, but you shouldn't have a problem with that, right?"

"Of course," Magus sighed, wondering not for the first time if it was possible for this girl to do anything without turning it into a huge production.

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Meanwhile, in an extreme display of the delayed reaction take – a contender for the world record, doubtlessly – Taban Ashtear was scratching his head.

"Lara?" he called to his sleeping wife, peeking over the top of the book that that nice young man, Janet, had given him shortly after Crono and that pretty young wife of his had left.

"Mmm?" Lara murmured, her mind still wrapped in a fog of sleep.

"Did Lucca just come through here, wearing all black?"

"Mmm," Lara shrugged.

"I'm sure she did," Taban insisted. "That's too bad; I didn't think she was home, or I wouldn't have sent Crono and Princess Nadia away like that."

"Mmm," Lara nodded.

"Funny...I could have sworn she said she was going to visit that Janet fellow. Although, in retrospect, it is a little weird that he came through here a while back to give me that book. Ah, well. Maybe she said she was going to carve a bowling ball out of granite, and I misheard."

"Mmm," Lara agreed.

Taban smiled fondly at her, and went back to his book. Then, seconds later, he put it down again.

"What is it with kids and capes recently?"

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"Oh, crap! Who's that?!" Lucca hissed, clutching Magus' arm without thinking as two figures, one in pink and one in blue, approached from the opposite direction.

Magus peered carefully through the darkness. Then he smirked.

"I'd recognize that hair anywhere. Well. It seems that your friends are going to find out about your new way of life a little sooner than you'd expected."

"My God, it IS Crono! What has Marle DONE to him?"

"Yes...spandex definitely isn't for everyone."

"For ANYone, you mean," Lucca shuddered.

"I see we are in agreement. Altogether too garish, isn't it?"
"Oh, yeah. But what are they doing, wandering around in the middle of the night, wearing spandex?"

"Perhaps," Magus began thoughtfully, "they have heard rumours of this new threat to the planet and were on their way to investigate."

"So, they already know?!" she squeaked.

"Only one way to find out," he shrugged, nudging her in their direction.

"Great," she whimpered. "Well, I guess it's now or never. And evil-villain-hood isn't really something you can keep from your best friends forever. So. Off I go. Whoo."

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"This is terrible, Crono!" Marle wailed as the two made their way through the darkened streets of Truce. All two of them, given Truce's status as a very small village. "I mean, maybe it's hasty to jump to conclusions, but what else could it mean?"

Crono shrugged helplessly, his expression just as miserable as Marle's.

"Okay. Let's stop for a minute and look at things logically," Marle suggested in what Crono had taken to calling, if only in his own mind, her "I'm-A-Queen-So-Don't-Screw-With-Me" voice – less a suggestion than a command.

Nodding in agreement nonetheless, Crono led her over to a conveniently placed bench at the side of the road winding out of Truce. Once both were seated, Marle took several deep breaths to calm herself. Crono simply stared as, with each deep breath, the same two bouncy parts that had so captivated him earlier rose and fell. Once more, a thin trail of drool crept from the corner of his mouth, down his chin, and to the ground.

Finally, Marle spoke.

"Alright; first, we get a visit from a couple of talking cats."

Crono nodded, scratching his head in confusion at the memory as he did so. Unfortunately, the result of both nodding and scratching at once was that the young man poked himself in the head several times, and as a finale, nearly lost an eye.

His wife, paying no attention to his antics, continued.

"The cats tell us about the newest great threat to the planet."

Crono nodded again, this time refraining from scratching.

"Meanwhile, Lucca's been out every time we try to see her."

Again Crono nodded, his expression glum at the knowledge that, despite his best efforts, his best friend seemed to have grown away from his as of late.

"And I KNOW it isn't because she's trying to avoid me so I don't invite her to another Tupperware (tm) party; we talked about that."

Crono nodded, chuckling as he did so. What an amusing conversation that had been...

"Then, when we go to see her, we find out that not only is she not home again, but that she's going to see someone who could very well be Magus!"

Crono nodded, more eagerly, as it seemed that Marle had finally stumbled upon the situation at last.

"This can only mean one thing, Crono!"

Crono waited with bated breath for her to continue.

"Lucca's going out with Magus, and mice are trying to take over the world!"

Crono began to strike a heroic pose, but before he could utter the heroic platitudes of how they would rescue their dear comrade from the darkness to which she had succumbed, Marle's words sank in and he waved his arms about madly in the universal symbol of 'what the hell?!'

"Well, what else could it mean?" Malre demanded, hurt by his lack of enthusiastic agreement with her assessment of the situation.

"Geez, Marle," a voice from nearby called teasingly. "How about ANYTHING?"

Both spandex-clad rulers of Guardia leapt from their bench and whirled about to face the newcomers.

"Lucca! Magus!" Marle exclaimed.

"!" Crono added.

"Well-said, Crono!" Marle congratulated him briefly before focusing her attention once more on Lucca. "So, if you haven't been sleeping with Magus, where have you been all the time, hmm?" And why is he here now?"

"Oh, for the love of all things unholy," Magus muttered, his great irritation causing him to uncross his arms. "Lucca has been pursuing a new life path – "

"It's more of a passing hobby, really," Lucca interjected, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly at Crono's expression of grim anticipation.

" – and that is the pursuit of darkest evil. I am here because I am a mentor of sorts to this new great threat to humanity."

"Yeah, right," Lucca snorted. "More like the annoying guy who criticizes everything I try to do and dresses me up in stupid leather bathing suits."

Marle's eyes narrowed critically.

"Did he put that together?"

"Well, yeah..."

"I like it," Marle announced brightly. "Black is totally your colour, and the purple jewels really bring the highlights in your hair."
In spite of herself and her dislike of this frivolous 'a villainess must look good' business, Lucca smiled, quite pleased. After all, Marle might not be the brightest of people, but she did know fashion!

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. It's a really nice look. Although, you might want to think about contacts. Not that there's anything wrong with glasses, but contacts, especially if you can find some in purple, might really pull the look together."

"You think so?" Lucca asked thoughtfully, pulling off her glasses and studying them carefully,

"That's what I've been saying all along!" Magus sputtered, outraged.

"Definitely," Marle said, ignoring Magus. "Give it some thought, okay?"

"Enough!" Magus bellowed. "Have you forgotten why we are here, Lucca?"

"Oh, right, right." She struck a dramatic pose, leaping onto the nearby bench. "I am Lucca the Brilliant – "

"Not much of a villain name," Marle commented, frowning.

"We're working on it," Magus said wearily.

" – and in the name of all that is evil, unwholesome, and just plain unpleasant, I will destroy all who stand in the way of my ultimate goal!"

"Um...what's your ultimate goal?" Marle piped up, head tilted to the side adorably.

Lucca blinked.

"Y'know, I don't think I have one yet," she announced after a long pause.

Magus gave a pained groan.

"If you'll excuse us, staunch heroes, we'll just slink away with what tatters of dignity remain to us," he grumbled, seizing Lucca by the arm, yanking her off of the bench, and leading her back toward Truce.

Ere three steps had been taken, however...

"Hold it right there!"

"What in the hell?!" Magus spat as two-dozen men in the blue uniforms of Guardia soldiers leapt out from behind various and sundry bushes and trees.

"We have overheard your plot to sneak into the castle under the cover of darkness," one of the men announced grandly, "and we cannot allow it! By the law of this kingdom, you are under arrest! You will come with us quietly, or you will relinquish your right to a fair trial!"

Lucca glared icily at the warlock as the two were dragged forcefully toward the castle.

"I hate you, Magus. I hate you AND your stupid schemes."

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End Notes: Hee! Well, that was...interesting. I'm not totally sure what happened in this chapter, but stuff is happening now, even if it couldn't correctly be called a 'plot.' However, I don't suppose anyone currently reading minds the sheer plotlessness, as you wouldn't have even bothered clicking on a story called "Generic Anime: Chrono Trigger Style!" that fully admits to pointlessness (albeit well-written pointlessness – yay me!) and anime clichés if you were looking for drama, angst, or even a cohesive sequence of events that doesn't make Dragonhalf look like War and Peace (unless you get off on telling people that they're stupid and their work is garbage because it isn't what you and your angst-obsessed little mind crave, in which case you are the single saddest creature I have ever encountered). The Brutal Killer Martial Arts Tournament! Oh, yeah! ^_^

Oh, one more thing: Azalai, I hope you don't mind this, but I'm going to try to stick both your suggested lines, particularly "Splendidly frightening dream, my lady" into the story at a further point. Hehehe...already got the perfect place... ^_^

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this slightly longer than usual instalment, and I hope you'll join us (well, me) next time for more Generic Anime: Chrono Trigger Style!

Bye!