What It Means To Love You

Chapter 6: Tragedy, Tragedy

Standard disclaimers apply.

Note: Very long chapter since I included a flashback on how Kenshin got his scar.

-X-

(Kaoru's POV)

When I woke up this morning the strongest feeling of foreboding crashed over me, stealing away my breath and I had to lean against my bedpost for a moment. I'm not psychic or a clairvoyant but I definitely think that whatever I felt this morning was a sign, a terrible sign that something awful is going to happen.

At first I associated this with Kenshin's leaving but I realized that if this was a sort of intuitive forewarning then I should have felt this weeks before Kenshin told me that he was leaving – my heart breaks everytime I think about it. No, something is going to happen, I thought this morning. Something incredibly appalling is going to take place.

But I didn't have time to dwell on such feelings since I remembered that today was the last day Kenshin was spending with us. With me. Tomorrow, on a Saturday morning, Kenshin is going to go away to Canada for a very long time and you might never see him ever again.

When I took my bath, I was weeping underneath the shower, letting the warm water drip all over my face.

For the past week, everything seemed to go by in a daze or maybe it was only I who was in a trance. Actually, I don't think so. All of my close friends who also were Kenshin's close friends – and Tomoe – seemed quite distracted and no wonder. We had helped Kenshin and his parents pack all of their things and it was pure agony reliving each moment all of us had together, happy or sad, as we went through all of his things and mementos.

It took a very long time and an abundance of tears before everything was packed and ready.

All of us had forgiven Kenshin for leaving though the accusation was purely selfish on all of our parts. We didn't want him to leave. We wanted him to be always with us.

But, as I thought about it every morning of my life, Kenshin will never be with me. Never. He loved Tomoe and there's nothing I can change about that. But then again, I'll always be his even if he won't be mine in ways of friendship. And I am perfectly sure that as long as I live, I will always be in love with him.

Even if he is miles and miles away from me.

I snap out of my reverie and realize that I had been staring into space standing by the snack table. The others, including Yahiko who was the youngest member of our group, are sitting on the sofas, chairs and beanbags that are all around the giant television in my living room. We aren't exactly what you'd call rich but my family is blessed with money since both my parents are doctors.

We are having Kenshin's private farewell party in my home since my parent's are out for the night, watching movies and eating popcorn, fries and drinking sodas. But it isn't like any other party I have been to since everyone is quite and the only noise in the house was the sounds made by the characters from the movie.

But what do I expect? It's not like we can laugh and joke about one of our best friends leaving for a far, far away place.

I pop open the can of soda and take a deep gulp. Then I walk back to the sofas, taking my seat beside Kenshin. On his other side his you and I notice, again, that you are holding hands. I dull ache starts in the vicinity of my chest but I push it away, used to it already. The jealousy still eats at me alive but everyday I'm coping, though it doesn't necessarily mean that the pain lessens.

I look away and stare at the screen. We are watching a very painful but nonetheless beautiful love story, 'A Walk To Remember' with subtitles since it is an English movie. But it wasn't very hard to understand since all of us have English classes in school and we are fairly good at it. I've read the book and I liked it as well. The story is a high school-y one, where the boy, Landon Carter, is popular and the girl, Jamie Sullivan, is the resident devout geek. But there is a twist.

I didn't exactly want to watch the movie since it is a love story and as everyone knows, I don't exactly get a happy ending in my life. Well, not exactly the happy ending I want very much but I am determined to live my life as happy as I can.

"This movie is gross," Sano complains loudly, watching as Mandy Moore serenades Shane West in the play. "Who wants to watch this touchy feely movie anyway?"

Misao, whose favorite movie happens to be 'A Walk To Remember,' looks at Sano and glares at him. "Shut up Rooster-boy, I love this movie. And besides, Shane West looks hot! And if you just keep your mouth closed and pay attention then probably you'd like it!"

Sano makes a face at her and adorably pouts. He is seated on one of my beanbags beside me, munching on one of the bowls of popcorn. I reach over and take the bowl of popcorn away and he stiffens.

"Hey, you okay Sano?" I ask, giving him a weird look. I'm sure that it isn't because I took away the popcorn since he seems really tense.

He nods stiffly, never taking his eyes off the flickering screen. I give him another glance then sit back against the sofa, relaxing my tense muscles. In my peripheral vision, I see Kenshin's illuminated profile. His red hair glows like a fiery halo and his deep amethyst eyes catch the light from the TV and seemingly glows with an inner light. I pause on the scar on his cheek, recalling quickly how it had happened.

-X- Flashback -X-

I was going home with Kenshin and we were younger that time, probably two years younger than now. He was walking me home, like he does every day and we were chatting about everything and nothing in particular. As we crossed the street, both of us noticed that there were two big guys bullying a slim girl. They were pushing her around and cruelly tugging at her skirt. Pretty immature, if you ask me.

Since both of us hated seeing people bullied, me especially, we rushed to aid the girl. Kenshin was a very gifted martial artist and leader of the Kendo club in school though he was still a sophomore.

"Hey you big ugly bullies! Stop harassing her!" I yelled at the two, bringing up my two fists defensively. I glared at the two bulky guys as they stopped and looked at Kenshin and me. Then burst out laughing. My eyes narrowed and I snarled. I knew what they saw, two skinny, petite teenagers with fierce and righteous expressions that shouldn't pose as any threat.

I snuck a glance at the bullied girl and saw that she was picking up her fallen books and that she had dark hair and gray eyes and her face wasn't exactly friendly and open.

"Aw look at the cute little couple trying to save the little girl," the brown-haired guy said in a babyish voice, mocking us.

His companion, a redhead, didn't say anything but laughed scornfully.

My petite height didn't bother me too much but I knew that Kenshin was easily insulted by jokes about his stature since he was a guy and most of the guys we know are quite tall. Ha, the poor bastards, they'll regret mocking Kenshin and me and for harassing the girl too.

"Kaoru-dono, you could just stay back," Kenshin told me quietly, amethyst eyes quickly glancing my way. I made a face at him and said, "Yeah right and let you have all the fun? No way! I may not be a martial art genius but I am strong for a girl and I don't mind using my fist once in a while." He grinned, anticipating my answer.

So, we took on the two bullies. He the brown-haired one and the redhead was mine. Though I liked fancy maneuvers and techniques since I wasn't exactly part of the Kendo club – but Kenshin taught me once in a while – I more than made up for it in my speed as a petite and lightweight girl and my knuckles. I pack quite a punch, actually.

The redhead was down after a few minutes of dodging when I finally boxed him in between the eyes, hard enough that he was thoroughly dazed and useless lying on the ground.

Seeing that the redhead nuisance wasn't getting up anymore, I went to the dark-haired girl and asked her if she was all right.

She nodded quietly and glanced at Kenshin. I felt a bit miffed. She didn't even thank me and there she goes glancing at Kenshin.

With an inward sigh – and an initiated growl – I looked back at Kenshin and saw that he was sort of playing with the brown-haired bully. He was letting him come near him with punches and kicks and then at the last second ducked down and moved away. My eyebrows drew together; Kenshin seemed to be enjoying this.

"He's amazing," the girl breathed in a muted, awe-filled voice. I quickly glanced at her and saw the enthralled expression on her face. Then I realized that she was quite beautiful with classical features.

"My names Kamiya Kaoru and yours?" I asked her out of curiosity and in a pathetic attempt to distract her from my Kenshin.

She didn't answer right away. Then she might have remembered me since she answered, never breaking her gaze from Kenshin who was still going at it, "Yukishiro Tomoe."

Fine, ignore me and stare at my Kenshin. "Hey Kenshin! What are you doing?" I called at him, sounding a bit worried. He seemed to be really enjoying this.

He gave me a hasty glance and swiped the bully off his feet with a roundhouse kick. The bully fell to the ground with a loud thud and even I winced at the impact.

"Oooh."

Kenshin wiped his hands and looked down at the gasping bully with something very akin to smug satisfaction. Kenshin started to frighten me a little. He really looked like he enjoyed it.

Kenshin started to walk to us and I noticed that his eyes were riveted on Tomoe and vice versa. I started to seethe in anger at the sudden attraction of the two and I just wanted to kick Kenshin's baka butt.

"Are you all right miss?" Kenshin asked politely though his eyes were anything but polite as they roamed all over Tomoe.

Tomoe didn't even batter an eyelash; she remained very composed in front of him and his undeniable good looks and red hair. But I observed that she suddenly looked more excited and the faintest hint of blush graced her pretty cheeks. "Yes, thank you for rescuing me. My name is Yukishiro Tomoe."

Inwardly I growled. What was I here? Chopped liver? Didn't I also helped in saving her? Then why didn't she thank both of us instead of just Kenshin?

Damn, I knew this feeling.

I've been feeling this way ever since I realized how I truly felt. Jealous. And I was truly jealous this time because Kenshin looked like he liked Tomoe. A lot.

As they talked, totally ignoring me and I was growing bored out of my mind, I noticed that the brown-haired bully was standing up and clutching something shiny in his hand. I squinted and saw a shiny piece of jagged glass in his hand and he lunged at Kenshin with rage on his face.

What a stupid guy. Attacking someone in broad daylight in the middle of the street with so many people.

"Kenshin!" I cried out, pointing helplessly at the attacker, "Watch out!!!"

Kenshin was too fascinated by Tomoe to react quickly. He ducked too late and the sharp edge of the glass in the bully's hand grazed his left cheek and blood spurted out.

I held back a chocked scream as Kenshin quickly drove a powerful punch in the bully's face that sent him flying away, unconscious. People stopped and stared at us, at Kenshin's bleeding cheek.

I immediately went to him, appalled at the blood and the deep wound. "Oh Kenshin! You cheeks! It's bleeding so much!"

He placed a hand on his cheek and grimaced and I held him in place lest he passed out. I was worried out of my mind.

"Someone please call an ambulance!" I told the bystanders around me, eyes pleading them. I was that worried.

I saw one of the women standing around grab out her portable phone and immediately called for an ambulance. I flashed the woman a very grateful smile.

"Kaoru-dono, really, this is nothing," he said to me in a calm voice though the wound continued to bled horribly. The red streaks streamed down his cheek and from the gaps in his fingers that covered the wound. "Just a scratch," he added weakly, trying to joke about it.

"Just nothing my behind!" I worriedly snapped at him, his body leaning against mine though I doubt he noticed this. I knew that it would take more than a wound in the face to defeat Kenshin but I was still quite worried about the amount of blood he was losing.

Tomoe was supporting the other side of Kenshin without saying anything. In the distance, we heard the low wailing of the ambulance sirens and I sighed in relief.

But all of a sudden, someone grabbed Tomoe and held her captive amidst the gathering crowd. Really stupid!!!

It was the redheaded guy I knocked down earlier and he seemed even more furious than his friend had been. Maybe on account that a mere slip of a girl had beaten him in a snap of the fingers.

He also held a broken piece of glass in his hand.

"You assholes!" the redhead cursed loudly and pushed Tomoe away, lunging towards us.

The spectators remained the same, just spectators. They didn't even try to help us!

Kenshin automatically pushed me away and I fell down and I saw that Tomoe and gained her balance and deftly caught the sharp blade in her own hands, surprising the redhead. But he seemed to have increased his reflexes as he swept Tomoe off her feat, causing her to lose her balance now fully and she flailed her arms around. Kenshin, despite the danger of getting slashed again, caught Tomoe in his arms and her hand, the one gripping the jagged piece of broken glass, slashed the same side of cheek, I guess over the still very fresh wound.

This was an accident, of course, but I knew that it must be very painful to be slashed twice on the same cheeks only minutes apart.

Oh god, Kenshin!

I quickly knocked the redhead again, completely unconscious this time, and scrambled to where Kenshin had knelt down with Tomoe in his arms. She had let go of the bloody glass and staring at him in blatant horror.

"I…I'm so sorry Kenshin!" she sputtered, for the first time losing her composure.

Kenshin's eyes were dazed and twice the amount of blood was now gushing from his double wound.

Right after, the ambulance and a police car arrived and the police quickly apprehended the passed out delinquents while the paramedics immediately fussed around Kenshin.

Everyone still stood around, murmuring and shaking their head in disappointment at the two unconscious bullies. I glared at them, silently accusing them that they didn't do anything either.

Tomoe looked clearly shocked. We were both walking with the stroller Kenshin was in as the paramedics started treating his double wound.

"Hey, Tomoe-san, are you all right?" I asked her softly, watching her from the corner of my eyes. My hand was gripping Kenshin's bloody one but I didn't mind. I was still so, so worried.

"I hurt him," was all she whispered.

I sighed wearily. "Wasn't your fault. It was an accident. Don't worry about it."

We weren't allowed to go with him inside the ambulance so we watched helplessly as it drove away, bringing Kenshin along with him to the nearest hospital. Slowly, the crowd dispersed.

-X- End of flashback -X-

And that was how Kenshin got his scar, looking like a big X-mark on his face since both the wounds were on top of one another and leaning away from one another.

One from a moronic bully and the other unwittingly by you.

Kenshin notices my gaze since I had looked directly at me when I was remembering and looks straight at me. "Anything wrong, Kaoru-dono?"

I shake my head and smile. "No. Just thinking about some stuff."

I look back at the screen, still occupied and gradually the movie starts making sense once more. Shane West was making Mandy Moore her telescope as a special gift as her cancer gets worst. Such a sweet and desperate attempt, really. One of my favorite part of the movie.

Finally, things started to loosen and though the movie was still going on, we are talking and joking and reminiscing. Even Misao joins us, also Aoshi.

We talk about the good ol' days and nothing about what was going to happen tomorrow and the sad times. Just the happy ones, please.

I didn't notice the phone ringing in the middle of Sano's story, a funny joke about what Kenshin and him had gone through when they were kids. The fifth ring finally registers in my brain and I stand up.

"I'll get it!"

I walk over to the phone, which is on top of an antique table by the stairway that leads to the bedrooms upstairs. I pick it up, still holding the bowl of popcorn in my other hand.

"Mushi-mushi, Kamiya Kaoru speaking," I tell the person on the other line cheerfully.

There is a cackle of static before a deep and official-sounding voice speaks from the other line. "Kamiya Kaoru, this is police officer Hajime Saito and I have terrible news for you." His voice was blunt though a bit gentle.

My heart starts beating and the sudden feeling of intense alarm I felt this morning washes over me thickly, drowning me. My hands feel sweaty and I feel deep in my gut that something really, really dreadful has happened.

I feel as if I am in the end of a long tunnel with my friends at the other end and their noise was coming at me in faraway, murky tones.

I grip the receiver tighter against my ear and I feel dread tingling up and down my spine, assuring me of the worst.

Oh god, what is it?

"W-What kind of accident?" I whisper thickly, already feeling agitated though the officer has yet to tell me what's wrong.

There is an ominous pause. "There's been an accident, Kamiya-san. A car accident. Your parents were in a car crash and I am terribly sorry to tell you that they didn't survive the crash. I am terribly sorry for your loss."

I freeze. I am shocked to my very core and I could not accept it. Denial was quickly rising in me, repeating inside my head. I pull the receiver away and stare at it. Then I stare at the wall in front of me, completely in shock.

Pain, incredibly pain and loss and sadness surge within me, smothering me and I feel my eyes tear up and feel the moisture slip down my face in torrents. I feel the receiver and bowl of popcorn slither from my grip. Luckily, the receiver was attached to the phone with its cord but the bowl fell to the ground, shattering into pieces of broken glass and spilt popcorn. Some sharp shards ricocheted from the tile floor and grazed my bare legs since I am only wearing a short skirt. I am only dimly aware that my friends are gathering around me, asking what is wrong and gasping as blood appeared on my scratched legs and tears falling from my eyes.

All I could think of was my parents. That they are dead. Not alive but dead. They are gone. But no, that can't be. They are still alive! And coming home to me. They are no gone, no, they can't be!

Everything was starting to spin out of focus and my vision seems to have block spots in it. The excruciating pain, not from the wounds on my legs, shot within me and I cry out wildly.

Everyone's voices seem so far away.

"Kaoru-dono…Kaoru-dono!"

"Kaoru-chan, what's the matter?"

"Hey tanuki! Kaoru!"

"Jou-chan! Jou-chan!"

"Kaoru-san! Say something!"

"Oi busu, you're bleedin'!"

"Kaoru-dono…!"

Then everything went black and all I can think about are my parents…and they are dead…really dead…and I am alone…so, so alone and…

...my parent's won't be there for me ever again...

-X-

Did anyone see that coming? I'm so cruel to Kaoru-chan though she's my favorite character. As I said, this is angsty and drama-ish all the way!!!