What It Means To Love You

Chapter 7: Say Hello, Say Goodbye

Standard disclaimers apply.

-X-

"Oh God, this is terrible," Misao mutters softly, resting her forehead on Aoshi's shoulder. His arms wrap around her and his hand strokes her shoulders comfortingly. I place my face into my palms, elbows perching on my knees.

The rest of us don't reply but we are thinking the same thing. Yes, it is terrible. Horribly terrible.

The hospital waiting room is agony as we wait for the doctor to come out. But fortunately, we are the only ones there. Though we know already the bad news, there is still a slim thread of hope in us that they made a mistake, that Kaoru's parents aren't dead.

Dead…

This is the first time that such a tragedy includes our small circle of close friends. And to parents as wonderful as Mr. and Mrs. Kamiya.

I look up and glance at Kaoru and my heart wrenches in remorse and sympathy. Her legs are covered in bandages to stop her wound from bleeding but that is the least of our problems. When she had lost consciousness back in her house, legs bleeding from the dozens of scratches she received, we couldn't understand what had rattled this headstrong and obstinate girl so much. Then I had noticed the dangling receiver and picked it up. Someone was still on the other line and calling frantically Kaoru's name. Then the police officer had told me the awful news that Kaoru's parents died in a car accident.

Everyone else couldn't believe it. Then we rushed the unconscious Kaoru to the hospital to get her wounds treated and to where the bodies of her parents were held.

Besides, she needed to be in a place where they can calm her down when the news finally, completely sinks in and she becomes hysterical and uncontrollable.

I see in her puffy, half-lidded haunted eyes that she is still in great shock and who wouldn't be? If I learn that my parents are dead I would…

Stop that, I think to myself. Kaoru needs your help. You know what you have to do.

I stand up and give Tomoe a meaningful glance and cock my head towards Kaoru's direction and she nods in understanding. I kneel in front of Kaoru and will her to look my way.

She is so pale and her fingers are quivering on her lap. Unspeakable misery swims in her deep eyes and her gaze is faraway and eerie.

"Kaoru-dono, say something," I whisper pleadingly, unable to stand seeing her so torn.

Kaoru surprises all of us, me mostly, by speaking for the first time and in a calm, brittle voice. "My parents are dead, aren't they?" Though her voice remains so still her eyes are begging for some reassurance that they aren't dead, that any moment now they will come out okay and unscathed and bring her home. Her eyes are full of the lost little girl now. Beside her, Sano looks away, bangs covering half of his face. Yes, I feel the same way exactly Sano.

As gently as I could, I told her, "Yes, Kaoru-dono. They…they are dead."

Kaoru stares at me for a full second before the tears start again, falling and falling in silver sparkles down her cheeks. Her face is contorted in indescribable despair as she finally accepts the terrible truth and she grips thick strands of her raven hair and leans forward, sobbing and her shoulders shaking with cries.

The back of my eyes burn and I bring Kaoru into my arms, whispering to her soothingly about nonsense comfort. The waiting room is deathly quiet and I look at Sano, his hand over his eyes. Then I see Megumi without a cruel or sarcastic expression on her face as she blinks her eyes rapidly. Misao is openly crying on Aoshi and a look of near-sadness crosses his face. Tomoe is just sitting there though it is clear on her face that she is just as affected. Yahiko and Soujirou are sitting together near the wall, faces drawn and deeply depressed.

And as for my darling Kaoru, she was weeping so hard and soft, painful whimpers sounded in her throat. She is muttering incoherently against my shoulder and her tears soak my shirt though I don't mind.

There is an uncomfortable cough behind us and I turn my head sideways and see a tall doctor glancing about us in sympathy. He looks vaguely familiar but I cannot place where I have seen him before.

Kaoru sniffles and pushes me away, standing shakily on her feet. She looks at the doctor with her tearful eyes and her face dawns with recognition.

"Dr. Sanada," she mutters as she wipes the tears away with the back of her hand. "My…parents…"

Dr. Sanada, now I remember, is Mr. and Mrs. Kamiya's favored colleague and usually goes to their house for dinner. He is a great and trustworthy friend, as I recall. His face is drawn and pallid and he shakes his head in the negative. He is affected too since he just lost two of his special friends.

"I'm so sorry Kaoru-chan, but they are gone," he says in a hoarse, unprofessional voice.

Kaoru takes deep breath as her face crumples into tears again.

-X-

My parents were shocked and saddened when I told them of the death of Kaoru's parents. They had been great friends as well since Kaoru and I are best friends and all. It was already past midnight when we finally left the hospital and Kaoru is with Misao right now since it is foolish to let her go home to her big house alone.

When I came home, I had begged my parents to change the date of our flight to Sunday, the day after tomorrow so that I can still be with Kaoru and offer whatever comfort I could. My parents understood and it didn't take much effort to make them agree. Luckily, our tickets were changeable and dad immediately changed the date of our flight on Sunday afternoon instead of tomorrow morning.

I was so grateful and relieved in my own selfish way that it wasn't my parents who had died that I hugged them for a really long time.

Then I went to bed but I cannot sleep, thinking of Kaoru, how alone she will be and who will take her in. As far as I know, she does not have any other relatives left. I fear that she will have to live alone but I hope that the government will allow her to live with Misao or with any of our friends.

Except for me since I am moving away. And I won't even be there for her during her parent's funeral. What kind of best friend am I?

Then fatigue arrives and I can barely keep my eyes open. My last thought is that if any one can pull through such a misfortune, it will be Kaoru.

-X-

Kaoru's house is dark and silent in every room, the curtains are closed and no sound reverberated throughout. By then, everyone had heard of the very unfortunate demise of Kaoru's parents, two very wonderful parents, friends and doctors. My friends were glad that I still had a day in Japan but everyone thought that it was such at a high cost.

I hesitate outside Kaoru's bedroom, worried at what I might find. According to Misao, she had already gone home early this morning, quite determined to stay in her house for the entire day, probably alone.

There are no sounds coming from Kaoru's bedroom and the air seeping from underneath the bedroom door is cool.

I lift my hand and knock on the wooden door softly. For a long moment, Kaoru doesn't answer so I take matters in my own hands and grasp the doorknob and push the door open. Her bedroom is even darker than the entire house, and I squint my eyes, trying to find Kaoru inside the shadowy room. There are vague, dark shapes that must be the room's furniture's.

I slip inside, carefully and softly closing the door behind me. Ah, there, a lumpy shadow on top of a very big, short shadow that is the bed.

"Kaoru-dono?"

My voice echoes in the closed, cold room.

I hear her sigh softly. "Do you know my last words to them were 'see you later'?" A low, dry laugh follows. "But I won't get to see them later. Not now, not ever. Wanna know why? Because my parent's are dead."

I flinch at the emotionless tone of Kaoru's voice. I slowly cross the dark room, making sure not to stumble on any wayward item lying on the floor. I walk over to her curtained window and pull apart the curtains, letting clear sunlight filter into the room and brightening it warmly.

"Kaoru-dono, I think you've been in the dark to long." I turn around to face her and the sight of her room startles me instead. It was orderly and clean, most of her things in their right places. Only a few books are positioned on the carpeted floor. Usually, to my knowledge, a person who loses their loved ones goes in a rage and thrashes everything in their rooms. But nothing seems to be thrashed or broken. And Kaoru is sitting near the edge of her bed with her family album perched on her lap.

Her eyes are heavy and rimmed with shadows, her skin unnaturally pale. Her hair is in disarray, the raven strands coiling in big and small knots. She is wearing the same clothes as yesterday and they are greatly creased. Kaoru looks so defeated and weary, hopeless in a way that I have never seen her.

She looks up at me and gives a mirthless smile, fingers tracing across the pictures in the album. "Weird, if you didn't have to move and I had gone with my parents since your farewell party wouldn't be happening then I would have died with them."

My blood runs cold and I feel a protective fury seizing me. I walk over to her and grasp her shoulders, glaring into her blank eyes. "Don't ever say that, Kaoru-dono! Nobody, not even your parents, would want you to die. And if my leaving results in you staying alive, then thank God for small blessings!"

Her lips tremble and angry color blushes her cheeks. "But how can I enjoy my life when my parent's are dead? How can I continue knowing that my parents didn't have a full life, that they're missing on so much, that they were cheated out of their lives?"

My fingers grip her shoulders tighter, near bruising, but Kaoru doesn't recoils. Instead, she meets my glare head on and her eyes are suddenly misty.

I soften my voice, seeing the sudden lost and broken look in her eyes and the desperate sadness lingering there. "Kaoru-dono, your parents did have full lives. They had you, didn't they? You were their reason for getting up and working, for smiling and laughing and for loving one another. You completed them and I am perfectly sure that wherever they are now, they would want you to continue, to live your own full life and leave the past as it is. The past. They'd want you to have a future and be happy."

She closes her eyes tightly, biting her lower lip and lowering her head. Her features twist into an agonized expression.

"B-But…it's just so hard to m-move on…knowing t-they won't be there to c-cheer me on and help me w-when I fall down…" she whispers in an aching voice, tears slipping from her tightly clenched eyes. Her hands close into fists, choosing a random picture of her family and tearing it into pieces.

I gently release her shoulders and hold her fists, stopping them from destroying the photo. "But you're not alone. Your parents might be gone, yes, but you'll always have friends who will be there to cheer you on and help you when you fall down." But tomorrow I'll be gone…

I quickly cast the thought out of my head.

Kaoru pauses and looks up at me, eyes opening. "But you'll be gone soon." Her voice is flat as she says this but I'm sure she doesn't mean to be so accusing. Kaoru is going through one of the toughest moments in her life, her parent's death and her best friend's leaving.

"Yeah well," I straighten and then sit down on the edge of her bed. "We'll always be friends, won't we? It doesn't mean that when I leave we can't be friends anymore. Didn't we make a pact to be best friends always?"

She angles her head to look directly at me and I'm glad to see that her tears are gone and her eyes aren't so bitter anymore. "Always. And I guess you are right. I need to move on. My parents would want that more than anything else." She gives me a hesitant smile, but a true smile nonetheless.

A comfortable silence wraps around us and I gaze outside the window, see the quiet houses on the other side of the road and a few cars pass by.

"Do you want a hug?"

Kaoru nods slightly. "Okay, I need one."

And I take Kaoru into my arms and hug her tightly, feeling her shuddering against me, head resting on my shoulder. But she doesn't cry. I think the tears will come tomorrow. For now, there is just us.

-X-

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, you guys. I love to hear that my fanfic can bring sad tears to the eyes. Last chapter will be forthcoming so just wait!!!

Just click that pretty button down there and tell me how much you love – or hate – my story! And oh, the ending won't be something you'll expect, I guess. A bit farfetched or kismet, I don't know. It's up to your interpretation. And as I said, the ending won't exactly be happy or sad.