Hi! Wow, thanks so much for the reviews! You don't know how much this means to me, you people are the reason why I write! I hope that you're enjoying the story so far; I'm trying to make the characters as developed as possible, but sometimes it becomes a little hard for me to portray them as they are in my mind! I hope you're following along and relating to the characters as I had hoped you would. I have been so busy with school work. I am hoping to update once a month. So now that I'm done with my mindless babbling, onto the chapter.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON BUT THE PLOTLINE AND ALL OTHER ORGINAL CHARACTERS CAME FROM MY OWN HEAD.
RATED: R FOR STRONG SEXUALITY AND COARSE LANGUAGE
I AM EXTREMELY SORRY TO MY EDITORS, BUT I LOST YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESSES, MY E-MAIL IS REALLY GAY. SO IF YOU WOULDN'T ME RESENDING IT, I WOULD STILL LOVE TO HAVE YOU AS MY EDITORS! THANKS YOU SO MUCH, AND AGAIN I AM EXTREMELY SORRY!!!
Trust Between the Covers
Chapter 7
Endymion slipped into his darkened bedroom. The shades were drawn tightly shut, blocking out the bright morning sun. He maneuvered his way through the outlined shapes of his furniture and pulled up the shades with a snap.
"Hmm..." a figure mumbled incoherently as the bedcovers rustled.
"Hey morning glory," he said huskily as he gave the lump in his bed an affectionate pat on the behind.
"Leave me be Endy," came the muffled reply.
Endymion sighed in exasperation as he sauntered out of the room and into the kitchen, a smile tugging at his lips as he thought how wonderful it would be to wake up next to Usagi every morning.
He sat pensively for a moment. He had decided. For a while he was teetering at what looked like an impossibly large precipice, but he was going to take the leap. He was going to leave all the sturdy ground behind him and take a chance on the unknown and unstable. But he had to leave ALL the past.
Endymion took a deep breath as he forced himself into the lovely circular room that housed his most prized possession. He got on his hands and knees, searching through an endless mess of music books and sheets. Finally he pulled a rather crinkled piece of paper folded four times from in between two music sheets in his handwriting. With a great deal of strength and will, he managed to heave himself off the floor and back into the bedroom.
He stopped short at the beautiful sight before him, his breath catching in his throat and his member stiffening.
Usagi flipped the golden cascade which was her hair over her shoulder as she focused her cerulean eyes upon him. Endymion froze entranced at the clear depths hidden beneath black, sooty lashes. Her porcelain skin glowed softly from the morning sun as she sat upright, the sheet slipping off her, revealing a glimpse of her creamy mound and pink nipple.
She was gorgeous. She was his angel. She was his salvation. And at that moment she was everything.
"Yes?" she asked throatily with a raised eyebrow.
Endymion smiled weakly as he sat in a chair across from the bed. With shaking fingers he opened the aging paper. He closed his eyes tightly. The words to the letter were already firmly imprinted upon his mind. He could hear her deep melodic voice form the words. Her pouty lips saying the things that would scar him forever. Her soulful eyes and pale skin, the way her raven hair would fall softly over the curve of her face. He could see the way she would arch up to him as he ran his hands over her concave stomach. He could feel her slender hips rocking against him, demanding more, always demanding more. His nostrils flared as his senses were assaulted with her essence. His eyes flew open suddenly. Non ancora mai. Never again.
He rose stealthily out of his seat as he walked sleekly over to the bedside. He kneeled down beside her, crossing his arms and resting his head upon them next to her. Usagi slid back down, laying her head on the pillow to become eye level with him. She stared into his midnight blue eyes with lashes that rivaled her own. She gently stroked his silky strands away from his handsome face carved with prominent nose, full lips, and strong jaw. He was handsome; the prime specimen of what is manly beauty. He was her damnation. He was what ruined everything, but saved her. Their soft breathing filled the silence comfortably.
"You have something important, I can see it in your eyes," she breathed, as her fingertips brushed almost unfelt over his eyelids, like the passing of butterfly wings.
"I have been unfaithful to you," he choked out.
Usagi tightened noticeably. How dare he use the word unfaithful in her presence? Didn't he know how hard it was to play this game, especially with these new rules guiding her that she did not understand? That brought her attention back to Ryan. He was coming home tomorrow morning. Shit. Her thoughts blazed quickly through her mind. A second everything was perfect, why did he have to drag her back into the harsh light of reality?
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked annoyed.
"I have not given myself fully to you. A part of me secretly still loved another as I gave my entire body physically to you," he whispered, entwining his fingers with hers.
Usagi felt a jealousy and selfishness rise up within her. There was an unknown emotion there, a feeling that hinted it was wrong if Endymion shared himself with anyone else but her.
"Don't make that face bella, I know you can't do that right now, but I can wait. Right now though, I want to be there entirely for you, for us," he said.
Usagi smiled at his passions and ideals.
"I like it when you use some Italian," she replied hoarsely.
"I'll teach it to you," he smiled.
"I'd like that," she breathed.
"I want all of you, Endymion," she said softly but firmly.
"Can I trust you not to break me, because if I give you the whole, you just don't break a piece, you break me," he said, pleading in his eyes.
"What is a relationship without trust?" she replied, a strange smile appearing on her face at hearing her own hypocritical words.
Endymion unfolded the paper once again and handed it to Usagi. Usagi gasped inaudibly as her fingers brushed against a faded scar on Endymion's wrist as she reached for the letter. Endymion looked quickly away, ashamed. The curvy writing was hard to decipher for many letters were blurred from obvious tear stains and the paper was quite worn from being handled by human hands. She read the words out loud softly. The richness of their tone felt good on her tongue.
Don't hold yourself like that
You'll hurt your knees
I kissed your mouth and back
But that's all I need
Don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down
What I am to you is not real
What I am to you, you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea
Don't throw yourself like that
In front of me
I kissed your mouth your back
Is that all you need?
You said:
"Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down"
What I am to you is not real
What I am to you, you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for what I give to you
Is just what I'm going through
This is nothing new
No no just another phase of finding what I really need
Is what makes me bleed
And like a new disease he's still too young to treat
Volcanoes melt you down
He's still too young
I kissed your mouth
You do not need me
She realized at once that it was a poem, and that it fit perfectly to the rhythm of the song Endymion had wrote for Monique.
"This is the letter that she left you before she went away, isn't it?" she asked gently.
"D-Do y-you know what's like for somebody to tell you that you don't love them. How the fuck could they know how you're feeling," Endymion said, his voice shaking.
"Believe it or not, I do..." she trailed off, thinking of the multiple times Ryan accused her of not loving him.
***FLASHBACK***
"Darling, I was merely telling the poor man where the bathroom was, he was in dire need of the facilities," Usagi said sweetly as she sat down in front of the vanity, removing her large diamond earrings.
"Those banquets are for the company to gain new clients, not another excuse for you to un-ashamedly flaunt yourself in front of a room full of people," Ryan bit back harshly.
Usagi winced at his calm tone, with rage rippling underneath. He never yelled, no, he just used that infuriatingly condescending tone that felt like a whip upon her back.
"I was just telling him where the bathroom was, love," she giggled nervously.
"Why so you could meet him there, you cheap whore," he asked softly.
Usagi stared at her reflection, at loss for what to say.
"Of course not, I love you, you know that," she said, a note of pleading creeping into her voice.
"If you loved me, you wouldn't make a fool of me by throwing yourself at whatever has a dick and walks upright," he said coldly, grabbing her arm roughly and pulling her up against him.
"Oww, you're hurting me," she whimpered.
"How can you stand there and lie in front of me wench! You say you love me dearest wife, then show me, show me how much you love me," he sneered, fake sweetness mixed with anger in his voice.
She sniveled softly as he pressed on her head firmly, pushing her down upon her knees. She closed her eyes and wet her lips anxiously as she heard the sound of a zipper being undone and the soft ruffle of pants as they pooled around his feet.
***END FLASHBACK***
Endymion held the paper up so it was eye-level, and then took a match that he had been gripping firmly in his hand. He struck it against the bedside table with a whoosh. He and Usagi looked at the flickering of the flame, mesmerized for a moment, until he drew it close to the aged paper.
They watched in silence as the writing was engulfed in flame. The fire reached a passionate peak, and then dissolved. Nothing was left except a few burned scraps of memories and ashes.
Endymion buried his head into Usagi's chest.
"It's okay," she repeated soothingly, rubbing in a circular motion on his upper back, and gripping the hair by the nape of his neck occasionally.
Endymion snuggled closer to her, his tender nuzzles turning into kisses. She moaned as Endymion ran his tongue over her sensitive flesh. Before long Endymion had her hands pinned behind her head, his kisses brutal against her mouth. She opened her legs willingly to him as he plunged inside her.
His thrusts were rapid and demanding, but she matched every stroke with her bucking hips.
"Tu hai tutto posso dare," came his strangled moan as her inner walls tightened in an orgasm around him.
He did not know, nor could she tell him, that he was once again building his world around a very active volcano.
Usagi rolled around and stretched luxuriously as she turned around and faced the clock.
"Mmm, Usako, don't leave," Endymion murmured as he wrapped his warm arms around her, drawing her close to his chest.
"Oh my God! I'm supposed to meet the girls in a half-an-hour!" she cried as she jumped out of bed.
Endymion smiled as her nude form darted around the room, frantically looking for her now wrinkled clothing from the night before.
"Why couldn't you have just woken me up or have left me alone? When you walked in I was already awake. But no! You had to be your sexy infuriating self, and make me..." Usagi trailed off as she stared at his brutally handsome face, a lovely smile lighting it up.
"Feel so amazing," she finished.
He got up, and wrapped his arms around her stomach, their bare bodies touching. She giggled as he placed butterfly kisses along her neck.
"No..No..no Endymion!" she said more firmly, as turned around and pressed her small palms against the large expanse of his chest.
"I really have to go."
"Ugh, I can't wear these, now I have to go home and change!" she exclaimed in disgust, holding a ball of fabric that used to be a very nice Versace blouse and skirt.
"Here," Endymion said, tossing her a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.
She grumbled almost inaudibly as she scrambled into his clothing; however, he could pick up a few words such as "unbelievable" and "looking like a dyke."
"I'm really sorry just to run but," she said helplessly as slipped on a pair shoes.
"Will I see you today?" he asked hopefully.
"Haven't you had enough, we did it all night and for the better part of the morning," she said silkily as she traced her fingernails across his chest.
Endymion grabbed her hand in mid stroke, and lifted it away from him.
"Is that all you think we do? Have sex? I would like to spend some time with you when I can actually make out what you're saying besides "Endy" or "God" or "harder."
"Of course," Usagi smiled.
"I'll try, but you know you do have to share me," she giggled.
Endymion's face turned cold for a moment.
She gasped inwardly as the impact of what she had just said dawned on her..
"With my friends I mean," she finished lamely.
"Of course," he replied coldly.
"Well maybe I'll see you later today," she said quickly as walked out of his apartment.
"What have I gotten myself into," she wondered. But inside she knew that she could never let Endymion go. She could no longer turn back.
Endymion looked at the clock and cursed under his breath. He was going to be late for work. But God, Usagi looked so lovely lying there; he just had to take her again. He sighed. He had hoped that they would have ended on a better note though. He turned the knobs in the shower all the way to hot as he enjoyed the burning sensation of the water against his skin. He flicked the shower-radio on and soon the soft melodies and rhythms rose above the humming of the water. A smile spread across Endymion's face as the familiar words came to his mind:
"He's the one who likes all the pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Bruises on the fruit
Tender age in bloom"
Endymion sang along softly, the water forming tiny rivulets as they ran down developed abs. A reminiscent look crossed his features as he thought about the many times he and Motoki had blared this song while sitting in his room back in Italy. Whenever they did anything stupid, like the time they got totally jacked up on crack one bored summer evening, they would just sing those words to each other, and that would explain everything. They were young, and everything was through rose tinted glasses, and the whole time they really had no idea what the world was about. Endymion snorted sarcastically as thoughts of Ryan entered his mind. He didn't think those six simple lines would make him forgive and forget.
"Oh well," he thought. He'd just take it a day at a time.
"Yeah and I've only got one day left," he added grimly.
Rei scanned the tables outside Il Café Centro; however, no familiar face caught her eye. She checked her watch. She was seven minutes early. She hastily checked her reflection in the window and sauntered inside to see if Endymion was working.
"What are you so happy about?" Motoki asked with a grin as a placed an order with the cook.
"If you must know, I slept with Usagi last night, and it was absolutely amazing," Endymion replied smugly.
Motoki froze and tightened in response.
"You fucking moron. Are you out of your fucking mind?! Ryan's going to massacre you!" he shouted.
"I may have been afraid of a lot of things, but death is one thing that I'm not fearful of. Besides, Ryan can't wreck my career, you can't destroy talent," Endymion added coldly.
Motoki shook his head in disgust.
"I love Usagi, and Usagi loves me," he exclaimed.
"She loves you, did she say that?" Motoki asked incredulously.
"Yes... well no..not exactly...b-but she implied it!" Endymion finished, regaining his composure.
"Oh she loves you? Tell me something Endymion, does she love you like Gianna loved you? Does she? Oh, or how about Monique? Does she love you like Monique loved you? Huh? Does she love you like fucking Monique..." Motoki spouted cruelly; however his taunting was cut short as Endymion's fist came in contact with his face.
Motoki stumbled backwards, his hand over his nose. When he removed his hand, a small river of crimson was cascading down his chin. Endymion stared at his best friend, white-faced and appalled at what he just did. Motoki lunged at him, pinning Endymion against the counter. Endymion gritted his teeth in pain as the sharp surface bit into his back. Motoki raised his fist, but slowly let it fall to his side as he realized that Endymion was not going to fight back. He stared into his friend's midnight eyes for a moment before walking away, a look of almost pity adorning his features. Endymion lowered his head and stared at the ground for a few seconds; however, he lifted it back up in time to see a pair of violet eyes, laced with hurt, reflected in the pan in front of him.
"You know she's actually doing better, which is quite a relief for all of us. We were so worried after Chad died, we didn't think she would ever be back to normal. She would just snap at everything and be most unpleasant and moody. She seems so much happier, she's even writing again. I personally have no idea what bought about this change in her, but I'm not going to question a blessing," Rei could hear Ami conversing with Mina quietly as she neared the table.
Rei's eyes burned with unshed tears as she took a seat across the table..
"Hmm... Usagi's not here yet, that's a surprise," Rei announced sarcastically.
Mina gave Ami a questioning look, but Ami just smiled.
"So how's the book coming along?" Ami bristled.
Rei was about to reply when a loud shout stopped in her mid-sentence.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" the manager demanded as Motoki stormed out of the restaurant.
"You can take this fucking job, and shove it up your ass! I'm done. Finisco!" he bellowed, throwing his uniform shirt at him.
Endymion followed Motoki out of the restaurant, but stopped dead in his tracks. Motoki only spoke in Italian when he was seriously pissed.
"Oh fuck..." he whispered.
"I shouldn't be working in this god-forsaken rat-trap you call a restaurant! I'm sick and fucking tired of playing by everybody else's rules. Finisco!" Motoki continued his ranting as he frantically took a wipe at his still bleeding nose.
"He's right," Endymion thought to himself. He was tired of playing by everybody else's rules.
"That makes two of us," Endymion said proudly, as he shoved his uniform shirt into the manager's chest.
Motoki and he both stormed off; however, as the road split into two paths at the intersection, they each took a different direction.
"What was that all about?" Usagi questioned as she flipped back her golden hair and took a seat across from Rei, tilting her head towards the spot where the heated scene just took place.
Rei threw her any angry glance.
"Hmm, I don't know. Endymion seems a little off. Trouble just seems to follow him around like a dark cloud," Ami noted softly.
"Yes well, I think a lot of people bring the rain upon themselves," Rei whispered venomously, in a failed attempt to sound nonchalant.
Usagi stole a glance at her anxiously.
"So Rei, tell us about the novel," Ami chirped in, nervous to change the topic.
"Why is everyone so fucking nosy, the book's coming on fine, if you want to know about it, splurge a little and spend twenty dollars when it comes out," she bit out.
They all exchanged looks and settled into an uncomfortable silence.
"Besides, it was going to have a happy ending, but not anymore. I decided that this one is going to be realistic," she added softly.
"Don't be so bitter Rei! Lots of love stories have happy endings!" Mina exclaimed.
"Hmph, I am toying around with an idea of a sex-deprived woman, finding happiness in a frivolous affair, but it was even too naïve for me, so I might work that in, as an unhappy ending of course. And speaking about failures, why were you late. It's quite rude you know, to keep people waiting," she whispered dangerously low.
Usagi stared at Rei aghast. She knew. She knew. She knew.
"I'm sorry, I just lost track of time," Usagi replied, trying to keep her voice even.
"I apologize for keeping you waiting, but I'm really just so involved with life. I never realized what a beautiful world it was," she breathed.
"And while we're on the topic of new life, how's the baby Ami?" Usagi asked enthusiastically.
The rest of the conversation was dedicated to the joyful babbling that only the prospect of a new baby can bring.
Endymion flopped upon his bed, staring at the blank ceiling. Things were fucked up all right. He just lost his best friend, again, and he hadn't practiced for awhile. Shit. His concert, the only reason he was in this god-forsaken city, was in a week. He sighed. Why couldn't he have the girl and his best friend? But he was not going to let Motoki go, not because of a girl, as he had done so many times in the past. He placed his hands over his face, and groaned. He would deal with Usagi and Rei later, but first he had to make peace with a more important person...
Endymion walked into the building, his footsteps echoing softly, disturbing the sacred peace and dusty pews. He slipped into a front pew, and gazed upward, the pain-stricken face of Christ on a cross stared back at him. He breathed in shakily, the incense tainted air causing a scratch in the back of his throat. The rustle of clothing to the side of the quiet church caught his attention and sent his nerves on end.
"Can I help you, or are you just here for the healing presence of the Lord," the elderly priest asked the handsome man with the wind-swept ebony hair.
"Father, I'm here to make peace," came his raspy voice.
"I've done some things I'm not proud of, and I'm sure I'll spend some time in purgatory for my sins, but it's better than the eternal fire, right?" Endymion asked with a slight smile.
"If you're truly sorry, you'll see the face of God right away," he replied.
"But I'm sinning now Father, and I am fully conscious of my decision, that's a severe break from God, but even though it is forbidden in the Scriptures, I believe that I am doing the right thing. Is that wrong of me," he asked a note of almost pleading in his voice.
"Are you Confirmed?" the priest asked cautiously.
"Yes, Endymion Alexander Sebastion Shields, but what does that have to do with anything" he replied perplexed.
"If the breath of the Lord moves inside you and gives you this guidance, then I believe that you are following the will of Christ," he said.
"Yeah, well the Spirit is sure picking a funny time to show itself. I could've used its guidance a lot sooner," he replied, a note of bitterness resounding in his words.
Endymion took a deep breath and shakily started:
"Father, I have sinned against the church and God. With reckless decisions I caused the death of a beautiful young girl, bought about the death of unborn life by creating it in the first place, destroyed the lives of my Aunt and Uncle, forced the woman I loved into selling herself, and toyed with the emotions of a fragile soul," he choked on his words, burning tears forming in the corner of his eyes.
The priest stared at the dark-haired man, with stormy eyes. The seconds ticked by in silence.
"I absolve you of these sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," he said softly making the sign of the cross above Endymion's bent head.
Endymion exhaled slowly, a weight that he did not realize was so heavy slipped off his chest. He had missed the amazing feeling of being forgiven unconditionally. He had almost mentioned Usagi, but had decided against it. He was not going to ask for clemency concerning her, for he did not regret a single moment spent in her presence. He smiled, it was a new day.
He placed his sweaty palms together, and began his penance, the forgotten words tumbling from his lips:
"Padre nostro, che seri nei cieli...."
Motoki walked grumpily towards his apartment, tossing his empty scotch glass rather carelessly unto the table. He was not in the mood for any visitors. He was half-drunk, pissed as hell, and feeling the after effect of regrets from his rash decision.
"Yeah," he said miserably pulling the door open.
His throat tightened as old memories swirled within his chest.
At that moment, as Endymion stood leaning against the door frame, with dark hair like wet raven feathers clinging to his forehead, and a devil may care smile tugging at his lips, he looked just as he used to when Motoki would knock on his door, and he would come jetting out, the warm summer air pleasant upon their faces.
"What the hell do you want? To chastise me on how I could not afford the decision I just made, or to rub in my face that you fucked Usagi, and defied Ryan as I never could," Motoki demanded bitterly.
Endymion smiled and shifted his weight.
"He's the one who likes all the pretty songs. And he likes to sing along. And he likes to shoot his gun. But he knows not what it means. Bruises on the fruit. Tender age in bloom," he sang softly, an apologetic look swimming in his eyes.
"We're not teenagers anymore Endymion," Motoki tried to explain exasperated.
"I think everyone should look at the world through the eyes of child. And anyone who thinks they cannot make mistakes based on lack of experience is a fool," Endymion replied swiftly.
Motoki gaped at him, and shook his head.
"Haven't you figured it out yet, you're supposed to be some fucking genius violin prodigy?! I care about Usagi a lot actually, but when it comes to her love life, as long as it's not violent, it's really none of my damn business. I was jealous. Not of the fact you banged Usa, I love Rita. I was jealous that you did not let Ryan control your life and dictate your dreams. Well I'm done laying down. I'm going to open the best restaurant this goddamn city has ever seen, and if Ryan doesn't like it, he can suck my dick, because I don't really give a shit," Motoki said more loudly than usual in his drunken stupor.
"So we're friends again," Endymion laughed.
"Always," he replied.
Rei sat quietly, staring into the dancing flames of her fireplace. She wished she could become the flames, just be consumed, until all the pain, all the emotion, just melted together and turned to ash. She took a slow sip from her wine glass, the alcohol doing little to soothe her broken spirit.
"Why does everything have to be so hard? Why must every man I love be taken from me?" she said quietly in a flat voice.
"God Chad, I miss you so much," her voice broke as she bit her bottom lip, constraining the tears.
A gentle knock on the door awoke her from her reverie.
"Yes," she said softly as she opened the door, pulling her red silk bathrobe tighter around her shoulders.
"Hey," said a hoarse masculine voice.
"Come in Endymion," she sighed, moving out of the way to grant him access to her modest home.
Usagi paced around her spacious bedroom. Back and forth. Back and forth. She sighed angrily. How could she go from feeling so good, to feeling so shitty. But she was furious with herself more than anything. She was slipping too far. She was willing to sacrifice her friends, her husband, and her life, for a man she had only known a few weeks. She used to be in control, but now things were unraveling...fast. She whipped around and faced herself in the mirror; an ashen and anxious face stared back at her.
"Get yourself together," she commanded coldly.
"Endymion I don't know why you're here. Trust me, you don't have to apologize for anything," Rei said wearily as she sat down on the couch, motioning him to take a seat a next to her.
"I know, it's just that," he trailed off as he admired her image in the firelight.
Her raven hair lay sprawled across her back, a contrast to her porcelain skin. Her low cut bathrobe revealed ample cleavage and clung seductively to her hips. Endymion shifted uncomfortably. His eyes wandered back up to her face, as he watched the flickering of the flames toss shadows upon her cheek bones. He immediately lost his arousal, however, as he realized the pain reflected in her violet eyes. He knew if he wanted to he could have Rei. But he knew it would just be a lie, for both of them. He needed release, and she needed to be loved. At that moment, he swore to God that he would find her happiness. He had much to pay for.
"I actually came over to tell you that I talked to that publisher that I was speaking to you about. He said that he could meet with you tomorrow afternoon. I can give you his cell phone number if you wish. His name is Jedite Lomack."
Usagi laid on her bed, allowing the darkness to consume her. She listened to her steady breathing fill the quiet room. She put a hand to her head, trying to force the haunting images from her mind, but whenever she closed her eyes, she saw him. The way his firm muscles contorted underneath her touch as he moved in and out, in and out. The way his bangs would fall over his eyes and how his beautiful mouth would whisper words of undying devotion. She let out a strangled moan. She knew that Rei loved him, and she felt so selfish for denying her friend that. It would be different if she loved him, but of course she didn't. She loved Ryan. And Ryan loved her. Ryan loved her. She didn't really know what she was doing with Endymion. And there in the dark of the quiet bedroom she shared with her husband, the answer came to her. She held on to Endymion for the same reasons she continued to hold on to the secrets which she kept closed to her heart, and behind locked doors.
Usagi looked at the clock, as she continued to lie there, letting the evening hours slip into the darkness of night. She did not wish to fall asleep, nor did she particularly want to stay awake. She let out a frustrated sigh, and squirmed within the satin sheets. She remained still for a few moments, her face pensive with thought, until she gave into the internal battle, and let her hand slither between the warmness of her legs. She licked her lips as she got a steady rhythm going. BRRIING. Her hand flew out from in between her, and she looked wildly around, as her heart beat frantically in her chest. BRRIING. The phone once again sliced through the quiet of the house. She let out a shaky sigh of relief as she reached for the receiver.
"God that man must have a sixth sense, he always calls when I'm doing something he doesn't approve of," she cursed underneath her breath as she prepared herself for another talk with her husband.
"Hello," she said, hopefully in a casual voice.
"Hey," replied a husky, masculine voice.
"Endymion! I wasn't expecting to hear from you, especially after this morning, what happened at the café," she bubbled, as she ran a hand through her silky mane.
"Hey, can you meet me at the bridge in the park, in about 10 minutes?" he asked calmly.
"Umm...but it's.." she began, but was quickly cut off.
"Only ten, we are relatively young," his deep voice resounded in her ears and in her heart.
A small smile spread across her lips as she remembered those same words he spoke to her just a couple weeks ago. It seemed so long ago...
Usagi once again stared at her reflection. She knew she shouldn't go. She should just cut her losses. But she couldn't. She couldn't let all of her spirit and dreams die.
"I'll be there soon..." she whispered softly.
Endymion threw on a coat and cursed beneath his breath. This was it. There was only one more person left to make peace with it. He grabbed his keys and walked resolutely towards the door.
Usagi walked at a brisk pace. The park was about a one and a half mile walk from her house, but she didn't feel like driving. Besides Endymion lived about twenty-minutes away, it would take him a little while to get there. She looked at the happy couples holding hands, laughing, stealing kisses and glimpses of one another. She wiped furiously at her eyes. She and Endymion could never be like that. They could never walk hand in hand in the bright sunlight or under the glowing streetlights. They would always be in fear that someone would see, see and tell Ryan. And Ryan could never know. This was it. She was calling it off. Ryan was right when he said that she was selfish and unrealistic. Ryan was so good for keeping her and taking care of her. So good. Endymion deserved better than her, Endymion deserved someone who he could be proud of and take places without fear of confrontation. He deserved someone who could love him. As she neared the park, she practiced how the words would feel on her lips.
"Goodbye Endymion," she breathed.
As Usagi neared the bridge she saw the strong outline of Endymion on the other side, his hands in his pockets, doing almost a little jig to fend of the cold night air. Her face lit up in a smile as she watched him, and her small laugh caused him to stop. Even from across the bridge, she could see the embarrassed expression gracing his features. They stared at each other for a few moments, both unwilling to move.
"I will not go to her," Endymion repeated silently to himself.
He could no longer survive in this one sided relationship. He did not want a lover that was invisible to the rest of the world, one that only revealed herself to him behind locked doors or beneath the covers. She had to be willingly to compromise, to meet him halfway.
Usagi stared at Endymion, willingly him to move.
"I will not go to him," she repeated silently to herself.
She could not show him that she needed him. He needed to know that this was all on him, and she just had the good will to let him carry on. This relationship was his doing, not hers.
Endymion let out a sigh of resignation as he realized that she was not going to move. And his cheeks burned with shame as he took his steps, his face downward. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fight it. He was going to be strong, he was going to be manly, and he was going to be in control. He had to suppress a cynical laugh. He was love's bitch once again, and she knew it. He would once again be there to the bitter end, abandoning his God, his career, and his friends, all for her. All because he loved her. However, he stopped suddenly about halfway across the bridge as he slammed into something soft. He looked up to see Usagi's bright blue eyes shining back at him. He opened his mouth, but she placed a finger upon his lips, urging him to be silent. Words were not needed. She replaced her finger with her lips, and the couple kissed in the middle of the bridge, concealed in the darkness. Invisible to the world.
"No, just park it on the street," Usagi giggled, as Endymion swiftly pulled up alongside the curb.
"What will the neighbors think?" he joked, flashing a flirtatious smile.
"Let them talk," she smiled, flipping back her golden hair.
He smiled.
Usagi opened the door, and Endymion whistled in amazement as he followed her into the spacious foyer.
"Holy shit," he murmured as he took in the chandelier and cathedral ceilings.
"Yeah, well Ryan's a pretty good businessman," she responded to his admiration.
"Hmph, I know," he whispered in reply.
Usagi quirked an eyebrow before slowly ascending the winding staircase.
Endymion followed her up in anticipation, two steps at a time. However, he noticed how the hallway leading to the master bedroom groaned under his step, and how the door creaked as he slowly pushed it open, almost as if in protest to the presence and touch of another man inside the house.
Usagi stood before him, slowly unbuttoning her blouse to reveal her breasts straining against the material of her bra.
She slid unto the bed; he could see her chest moving up and down quickly. He took a quick scan of the room, noting the impeccable taste in decorating. His gaze lingered on a portrait of Ryan and Usagi, obviously when Usagi was much younger; her eyes held the more hopeful and un-jaded look of youth. Finally his eyes rested once again on Usagi, as she laid there, her jeans unbuttoned to reveal a glimpse of pink panties. This was the ultimate betrayal. To take another man's wife between his own covers was the highest perfidy.
"As long as you're in love, you can do no wrong," he smiled to himself, and he stalked over to Usagi.
He captured her mouth, slowly tasting her; however, she wrapped her legs around him and deepened the kiss, demanding all of him. He trailed kisses down her neck and on the curve of her voluptuous breasts, but she moaned in protest. She tangled her hand in the mess of his black hair and pulled his face to her.
"I need you," she breathed, urgency written in her eyes.
His mouth once again came roughly down upon hers, as he searched blindly for a rubber through the pockets of his discarded pants lying beside them..
"Hmm...Endymion don't worry about," she cooed as she turned his face towards her, placing hot kisses along his jaw bone, and grinding her wetness against his manhood.
"Ah, Usagi..." he moaned, biting his lower lip, as her hips continued their wicked administrations against his groin.
She looked straight into his eyes.
"Endymion, I'm a virgin to you. I've never really felt a man inside me, there's always been rubber separating us. Don't you want to touch, don't you want to feel what no man has ever felt before?" she asked seductively between kisses, arching up to him, and continuing the steady rocking of her pelvis.
"Oh God," he murmured, closing his eyes and enjoying the sensation of the friction she was creating between them.
"I'm sorry Usako, I can't," he said, finally grasping hold of the elusive condom.
"Why not? Don't you want to be more intimate with me than any man has ever been?" she demanded.
"It's not that Usako, honest, but what if you get pregnant?" he replied exasperated.
"Don't you want children?" she asked incredulously.
"Of course, but not now, not like this," he whispered.
She studied his handsome face and groaned inwardly. He was right. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right.
She gingerly took the condom from between his fingertips and rolled it unto his very hard dick.
"You're right," she whispered, softly brushing her lips against his..
"Now fuck," she breathed.
A sinful smirk tugged at his mouth as he plunged deeply inside her. The sounds of their strangled moans and the intense banging of the headboard echoed throughout the large house.
"Where have you been all day," Kunzite growled as he pulled Mina close to him the minute she walked through the door.
"I was with the girls for lunch, and then I did a little shopping," she giggled as he placed warm kisses on her neck.
"Mmm, so how are they?" he asked as he continued his ministrations on the soft flesh of her neck.
"No wonder Rei stayed here after Chad died, there's so much inspiration.. I swear to God, it's like a soap opera every day," she said, catching his head and capturing his mouth with a kiss.
"Well I have something that will make the plot thicken. I got a very interesting and surprising phone call today..."
"Oh my," Usagi said, trying to suppress a giggle as she picked up a picture of Ryan and her which fell off the wall during their love making.
"I think we might have gotten a little carried away," he whistled as he surveyed the damage done to the wall behind the head board.
"Oh well, I don't think he'll notice," she replied.
'But look at that crack," he motioned to a steady line going up the wall.
Usagi gave him a devilish smile before slipping her fingers between the crack and flinging it open.
"Oh my God..." he murmured as he stared at a room the size of a large closet.
There was what looked like empty shoe boxes stacked up to the top. There was only enough room in the closet for about one person to stand, rather uncomfortably.
"The builders of the house put it in for storage; I guess they thought two walk-in closets weren't enough. Anyway, since Ryan's never home, he doesn't even know about it," she whispered as though Ryan would be able to hear her if she spoke any louder.
"What's in all the boxes," he asked surveying them suspiciously.
Usagi stood up on her tip-toes and tentatively took down a box. She placed it on the bed, and motioned for Endymion to sit down next to her.
"I've never shown these to anyone before, so please don't be harsh," she said, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.
"Usagi, these are brilliant!" he exclaimed as he fingered through the multiple designs.
"I never knew you had such talent."
"Yeah, well Ryan doesn't seem to think so," she replied glumly.
"Why aren't you an interior designer?" he asked incredulously.
"Ha! I wouldn't make it one day, Ryan's right. At least he did let me decorate the house, that was so good of him," she said, almost more to herself.
"Why the hell do you sit behind a desk all day, doing nothing really?" he asked.
"Because Ryan saw how bored I was at home all day, so he gave me a job as a secretary at his office. Well they say I'm a partner, but that's a load of bullshit. Ryan just said that to make me feel better. But at least I have something to occupy my time," she explained.
"Or another way for Ryan to keep an eye on you," he replied disgusted..
"God gave you a talent, and you're sitting there wasting it. I thought you knew better than that," he said vehemently.
"I mean look at these, how could anyone make you believe that these aren't good?" he demanded quickly scanning through the multiple pages.
However, he stopped short as he noticed a common theme in the pictures she had shown him. They were all obviously designs for a baby's or child's room. He raised his head slowly and gave Usagi a questioning look. She blushed and turned away.
"Here, I can show you the room those designs were for, then you really get the complete picture," she said softly, leading the way out of the bedroom.
They came to a room at the end of the wall. Endymion looked inside and found it to be completely bare and white.
"Well, it does need some color," he said with a smile.
"This is the only room Ryan wouldn't let turn into a guest room. I guess he gave me hope that there could once be a cradle in there," she said, her words broken as she lifted a hand to her mouth in an attempt to prevent the tears.
Endymion motioned to comfort her, but she batted him away.
"Besides, it doesn't matter now. I've decided to turn it into a library," she said, somewhat regaining her composure.
Endymion stared at her for a few moments, at the intense longing in her eyes.
And suddenly it all became clear as Ryan's word echoed in his mind: "Don't talk of things which you don't understand."
Endymion thought it was rather odd that Ryan would be so paranoid about Usagi's faithfulness, but he wasn't worried about her being attracted to another man, he was concerned about how far Usagi would go to get pregnant. And as he continued to stare at Usagi, who was obviously somewhere far, far away within the corner of her mind, he questioned everything he had sacrificed for her. Maybe she didn't love him at all.... all she wanted was a baby. He closed his eyes, and forced himself to believe that it wasn't true. It couldn't be true, for if indeed it was, Ryan had won.
"It's past midnight Usako, I guess I should get going," he said.
"But Endy, aren't you hungry...you must have worked up an appetite," she giggled, pulling him back into the bed with her.
After she had shown him the room, they decided to move back to more pleasurable things.
"I think I've eaten plenty," he replied huskily, slowly stroking her must sensitive area.
Usagi blushed bright red in response.
"I guess I'll see you to-," but he stopped in mid-sentence.
Ryan was going to be home tomorrow.
"I'm sure he'll have some business to attend to," she replied nonchalantly, as she threw on some clothes and went downstairs.
Endymion finished zippering up his pants and followed her.
"Here," she said placing a key in a hanging flower basket on the porch.
They looked at each other in silence for a few moments.
"You have the key Endymion. You've unlocked all the secrets about me. However, don't hurt me by forcing the door, I need time," she whispered.
He gave her a quick kiss before heading towards his SUV.
"I love you Usagi," he called to her.
"I know," she smiled.
Usagi walked light-hearted back into the house, but her heart jumped to her throat as the violent ring of the phone sliced through the quiet.
"Hello," she said shakily.
"Hey baby."
"Oh Ryan, I can't wait to see you tomorrow," she said in an attempt to be enthusiastic.
"I know baby, but I'm going to be later than planned. My flight got cancelled, so I'll have to take the afternoon flight. But I'll be home in the evening," he said.
"Oh, okay," she replied, trying to sound disappointed.
"Well you better get some sleep sweetheart, you're not going to get any tomorrow night," he finished huskily.
"I love you," she said softly.
"Bye."
Usagi placed the phone back down. She did not know why the thought of Ryan's hands upon her suddenly gave her a nauseous feeling. She stared at the rumpled bed sheets, and felt the place where Endymion had laid just a few moments ago. It was still warm and smelled of roses and cinnamon. She began to cry. But they were different from the tears that were often shed from missing her husband and feeling unloved, the walls could tell the difference. These were tears of the most intense pain, brought on by the realization that you must let go someone you truly loved.
Ryan raised his glass to his lips, as he gave a seductive smirk to the reason his flight was "cancelled": a slim brunette who was waiting in the hotel lobby. He was going to give a certain violinist a call tomorrow. He knew Endymion thought him idiotic, but he knew that even if Usagi did end up having feelings for the musician, they would be instantly broken when the entire plan was revealed. Oh yes, he was going to tell Usagi, and let her feel ashamed. Everyone thinks that love is the only thing needed for a relationship to survive, but he knew better. It was not love, but trust.
Endymion jetted up the steps to his apartment, whistling a familiar tune. Everything was perfect. Usagi would eventually leave Ryan and be with him, and they could live happily ever after. He could wait for her, he would always wait. However, he stopped his whistling in mid-note as he noticed the familiar form of a slender figure with raven hair, asleep outside his door.
Wooh, that's done! Hoped you enjoyed. Okay, just a few after notes. The poem in the beginning is actually a song by Damien Rice called "Volcano." It has an awesome violin so you guys should listen to it! Also that saying, "...Tender age in bloom", well those are lyrics from the Nirvana song "In Bloom." Also, as you may have picked up Endymion is a Catholic, and I know you might be thinking that Catholicism is not that prominent in Japan, but I have to remind you that Endymion is from Italy originally. Also, I'm sorry about not reposting chapter 5, couldn't figure out how to fix it. If you have any questions about was has happened SO FAR just e-mail me and I'd be happy to answer your questions. Okay, just wanted to clear a few things up! Remember to review, review, review!
~PinkMoonBeam
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON BUT THE PLOTLINE AND ALL OTHER ORGINAL CHARACTERS CAME FROM MY OWN HEAD.
RATED: R FOR STRONG SEXUALITY AND COARSE LANGUAGE
I AM EXTREMELY SORRY TO MY EDITORS, BUT I LOST YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESSES, MY E-MAIL IS REALLY GAY. SO IF YOU WOULDN'T ME RESENDING IT, I WOULD STILL LOVE TO HAVE YOU AS MY EDITORS! THANKS YOU SO MUCH, AND AGAIN I AM EXTREMELY SORRY!!!
Trust Between the Covers
Chapter 7
Endymion slipped into his darkened bedroom. The shades were drawn tightly shut, blocking out the bright morning sun. He maneuvered his way through the outlined shapes of his furniture and pulled up the shades with a snap.
"Hmm..." a figure mumbled incoherently as the bedcovers rustled.
"Hey morning glory," he said huskily as he gave the lump in his bed an affectionate pat on the behind.
"Leave me be Endy," came the muffled reply.
Endymion sighed in exasperation as he sauntered out of the room and into the kitchen, a smile tugging at his lips as he thought how wonderful it would be to wake up next to Usagi every morning.
He sat pensively for a moment. He had decided. For a while he was teetering at what looked like an impossibly large precipice, but he was going to take the leap. He was going to leave all the sturdy ground behind him and take a chance on the unknown and unstable. But he had to leave ALL the past.
Endymion took a deep breath as he forced himself into the lovely circular room that housed his most prized possession. He got on his hands and knees, searching through an endless mess of music books and sheets. Finally he pulled a rather crinkled piece of paper folded four times from in between two music sheets in his handwriting. With a great deal of strength and will, he managed to heave himself off the floor and back into the bedroom.
He stopped short at the beautiful sight before him, his breath catching in his throat and his member stiffening.
Usagi flipped the golden cascade which was her hair over her shoulder as she focused her cerulean eyes upon him. Endymion froze entranced at the clear depths hidden beneath black, sooty lashes. Her porcelain skin glowed softly from the morning sun as she sat upright, the sheet slipping off her, revealing a glimpse of her creamy mound and pink nipple.
She was gorgeous. She was his angel. She was his salvation. And at that moment she was everything.
"Yes?" she asked throatily with a raised eyebrow.
Endymion smiled weakly as he sat in a chair across from the bed. With shaking fingers he opened the aging paper. He closed his eyes tightly. The words to the letter were already firmly imprinted upon his mind. He could hear her deep melodic voice form the words. Her pouty lips saying the things that would scar him forever. Her soulful eyes and pale skin, the way her raven hair would fall softly over the curve of her face. He could see the way she would arch up to him as he ran his hands over her concave stomach. He could feel her slender hips rocking against him, demanding more, always demanding more. His nostrils flared as his senses were assaulted with her essence. His eyes flew open suddenly. Non ancora mai. Never again.
He rose stealthily out of his seat as he walked sleekly over to the bedside. He kneeled down beside her, crossing his arms and resting his head upon them next to her. Usagi slid back down, laying her head on the pillow to become eye level with him. She stared into his midnight blue eyes with lashes that rivaled her own. She gently stroked his silky strands away from his handsome face carved with prominent nose, full lips, and strong jaw. He was handsome; the prime specimen of what is manly beauty. He was her damnation. He was what ruined everything, but saved her. Their soft breathing filled the silence comfortably.
"You have something important, I can see it in your eyes," she breathed, as her fingertips brushed almost unfelt over his eyelids, like the passing of butterfly wings.
"I have been unfaithful to you," he choked out.
Usagi tightened noticeably. How dare he use the word unfaithful in her presence? Didn't he know how hard it was to play this game, especially with these new rules guiding her that she did not understand? That brought her attention back to Ryan. He was coming home tomorrow morning. Shit. Her thoughts blazed quickly through her mind. A second everything was perfect, why did he have to drag her back into the harsh light of reality?
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked annoyed.
"I have not given myself fully to you. A part of me secretly still loved another as I gave my entire body physically to you," he whispered, entwining his fingers with hers.
Usagi felt a jealousy and selfishness rise up within her. There was an unknown emotion there, a feeling that hinted it was wrong if Endymion shared himself with anyone else but her.
"Don't make that face bella, I know you can't do that right now, but I can wait. Right now though, I want to be there entirely for you, for us," he said.
Usagi smiled at his passions and ideals.
"I like it when you use some Italian," she replied hoarsely.
"I'll teach it to you," he smiled.
"I'd like that," she breathed.
"I want all of you, Endymion," she said softly but firmly.
"Can I trust you not to break me, because if I give you the whole, you just don't break a piece, you break me," he said, pleading in his eyes.
"What is a relationship without trust?" she replied, a strange smile appearing on her face at hearing her own hypocritical words.
Endymion unfolded the paper once again and handed it to Usagi. Usagi gasped inaudibly as her fingers brushed against a faded scar on Endymion's wrist as she reached for the letter. Endymion looked quickly away, ashamed. The curvy writing was hard to decipher for many letters were blurred from obvious tear stains and the paper was quite worn from being handled by human hands. She read the words out loud softly. The richness of their tone felt good on her tongue.
Don't hold yourself like that
You'll hurt your knees
I kissed your mouth and back
But that's all I need
Don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down
What I am to you is not real
What I am to you, you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea
Don't throw yourself like that
In front of me
I kissed your mouth your back
Is that all you need?
You said:
"Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down"
What I am to you is not real
What I am to you, you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for what I give to you
Is just what I'm going through
This is nothing new
No no just another phase of finding what I really need
Is what makes me bleed
And like a new disease he's still too young to treat
Volcanoes melt you down
He's still too young
I kissed your mouth
You do not need me
She realized at once that it was a poem, and that it fit perfectly to the rhythm of the song Endymion had wrote for Monique.
"This is the letter that she left you before she went away, isn't it?" she asked gently.
"D-Do y-you know what's like for somebody to tell you that you don't love them. How the fuck could they know how you're feeling," Endymion said, his voice shaking.
"Believe it or not, I do..." she trailed off, thinking of the multiple times Ryan accused her of not loving him.
***FLASHBACK***
"Darling, I was merely telling the poor man where the bathroom was, he was in dire need of the facilities," Usagi said sweetly as she sat down in front of the vanity, removing her large diamond earrings.
"Those banquets are for the company to gain new clients, not another excuse for you to un-ashamedly flaunt yourself in front of a room full of people," Ryan bit back harshly.
Usagi winced at his calm tone, with rage rippling underneath. He never yelled, no, he just used that infuriatingly condescending tone that felt like a whip upon her back.
"I was just telling him where the bathroom was, love," she giggled nervously.
"Why so you could meet him there, you cheap whore," he asked softly.
Usagi stared at her reflection, at loss for what to say.
"Of course not, I love you, you know that," she said, a note of pleading creeping into her voice.
"If you loved me, you wouldn't make a fool of me by throwing yourself at whatever has a dick and walks upright," he said coldly, grabbing her arm roughly and pulling her up against him.
"Oww, you're hurting me," she whimpered.
"How can you stand there and lie in front of me wench! You say you love me dearest wife, then show me, show me how much you love me," he sneered, fake sweetness mixed with anger in his voice.
She sniveled softly as he pressed on her head firmly, pushing her down upon her knees. She closed her eyes and wet her lips anxiously as she heard the sound of a zipper being undone and the soft ruffle of pants as they pooled around his feet.
***END FLASHBACK***
Endymion held the paper up so it was eye-level, and then took a match that he had been gripping firmly in his hand. He struck it against the bedside table with a whoosh. He and Usagi looked at the flickering of the flame, mesmerized for a moment, until he drew it close to the aged paper.
They watched in silence as the writing was engulfed in flame. The fire reached a passionate peak, and then dissolved. Nothing was left except a few burned scraps of memories and ashes.
Endymion buried his head into Usagi's chest.
"It's okay," she repeated soothingly, rubbing in a circular motion on his upper back, and gripping the hair by the nape of his neck occasionally.
Endymion snuggled closer to her, his tender nuzzles turning into kisses. She moaned as Endymion ran his tongue over her sensitive flesh. Before long Endymion had her hands pinned behind her head, his kisses brutal against her mouth. She opened her legs willingly to him as he plunged inside her.
His thrusts were rapid and demanding, but she matched every stroke with her bucking hips.
"Tu hai tutto posso dare," came his strangled moan as her inner walls tightened in an orgasm around him.
He did not know, nor could she tell him, that he was once again building his world around a very active volcano.
Usagi rolled around and stretched luxuriously as she turned around and faced the clock.
"Mmm, Usako, don't leave," Endymion murmured as he wrapped his warm arms around her, drawing her close to his chest.
"Oh my God! I'm supposed to meet the girls in a half-an-hour!" she cried as she jumped out of bed.
Endymion smiled as her nude form darted around the room, frantically looking for her now wrinkled clothing from the night before.
"Why couldn't you have just woken me up or have left me alone? When you walked in I was already awake. But no! You had to be your sexy infuriating self, and make me..." Usagi trailed off as she stared at his brutally handsome face, a lovely smile lighting it up.
"Feel so amazing," she finished.
He got up, and wrapped his arms around her stomach, their bare bodies touching. She giggled as he placed butterfly kisses along her neck.
"No..No..no Endymion!" she said more firmly, as turned around and pressed her small palms against the large expanse of his chest.
"I really have to go."
"Ugh, I can't wear these, now I have to go home and change!" she exclaimed in disgust, holding a ball of fabric that used to be a very nice Versace blouse and skirt.
"Here," Endymion said, tossing her a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.
She grumbled almost inaudibly as she scrambled into his clothing; however, he could pick up a few words such as "unbelievable" and "looking like a dyke."
"I'm really sorry just to run but," she said helplessly as slipped on a pair shoes.
"Will I see you today?" he asked hopefully.
"Haven't you had enough, we did it all night and for the better part of the morning," she said silkily as she traced her fingernails across his chest.
Endymion grabbed her hand in mid stroke, and lifted it away from him.
"Is that all you think we do? Have sex? I would like to spend some time with you when I can actually make out what you're saying besides "Endy" or "God" or "harder."
"Of course," Usagi smiled.
"I'll try, but you know you do have to share me," she giggled.
Endymion's face turned cold for a moment.
She gasped inwardly as the impact of what she had just said dawned on her..
"With my friends I mean," she finished lamely.
"Of course," he replied coldly.
"Well maybe I'll see you later today," she said quickly as walked out of his apartment.
"What have I gotten myself into," she wondered. But inside she knew that she could never let Endymion go. She could no longer turn back.
Endymion looked at the clock and cursed under his breath. He was going to be late for work. But God, Usagi looked so lovely lying there; he just had to take her again. He sighed. He had hoped that they would have ended on a better note though. He turned the knobs in the shower all the way to hot as he enjoyed the burning sensation of the water against his skin. He flicked the shower-radio on and soon the soft melodies and rhythms rose above the humming of the water. A smile spread across Endymion's face as the familiar words came to his mind:
"He's the one who likes all the pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Bruises on the fruit
Tender age in bloom"
Endymion sang along softly, the water forming tiny rivulets as they ran down developed abs. A reminiscent look crossed his features as he thought about the many times he and Motoki had blared this song while sitting in his room back in Italy. Whenever they did anything stupid, like the time they got totally jacked up on crack one bored summer evening, they would just sing those words to each other, and that would explain everything. They were young, and everything was through rose tinted glasses, and the whole time they really had no idea what the world was about. Endymion snorted sarcastically as thoughts of Ryan entered his mind. He didn't think those six simple lines would make him forgive and forget.
"Oh well," he thought. He'd just take it a day at a time.
"Yeah and I've only got one day left," he added grimly.
Rei scanned the tables outside Il Café Centro; however, no familiar face caught her eye. She checked her watch. She was seven minutes early. She hastily checked her reflection in the window and sauntered inside to see if Endymion was working.
"What are you so happy about?" Motoki asked with a grin as a placed an order with the cook.
"If you must know, I slept with Usagi last night, and it was absolutely amazing," Endymion replied smugly.
Motoki froze and tightened in response.
"You fucking moron. Are you out of your fucking mind?! Ryan's going to massacre you!" he shouted.
"I may have been afraid of a lot of things, but death is one thing that I'm not fearful of. Besides, Ryan can't wreck my career, you can't destroy talent," Endymion added coldly.
Motoki shook his head in disgust.
"I love Usagi, and Usagi loves me," he exclaimed.
"She loves you, did she say that?" Motoki asked incredulously.
"Yes... well no..not exactly...b-but she implied it!" Endymion finished, regaining his composure.
"Oh she loves you? Tell me something Endymion, does she love you like Gianna loved you? Does she? Oh, or how about Monique? Does she love you like Monique loved you? Huh? Does she love you like fucking Monique..." Motoki spouted cruelly; however his taunting was cut short as Endymion's fist came in contact with his face.
Motoki stumbled backwards, his hand over his nose. When he removed his hand, a small river of crimson was cascading down his chin. Endymion stared at his best friend, white-faced and appalled at what he just did. Motoki lunged at him, pinning Endymion against the counter. Endymion gritted his teeth in pain as the sharp surface bit into his back. Motoki raised his fist, but slowly let it fall to his side as he realized that Endymion was not going to fight back. He stared into his friend's midnight eyes for a moment before walking away, a look of almost pity adorning his features. Endymion lowered his head and stared at the ground for a few seconds; however, he lifted it back up in time to see a pair of violet eyes, laced with hurt, reflected in the pan in front of him.
"You know she's actually doing better, which is quite a relief for all of us. We were so worried after Chad died, we didn't think she would ever be back to normal. She would just snap at everything and be most unpleasant and moody. She seems so much happier, she's even writing again. I personally have no idea what bought about this change in her, but I'm not going to question a blessing," Rei could hear Ami conversing with Mina quietly as she neared the table.
Rei's eyes burned with unshed tears as she took a seat across the table..
"Hmm... Usagi's not here yet, that's a surprise," Rei announced sarcastically.
Mina gave Ami a questioning look, but Ami just smiled.
"So how's the book coming along?" Ami bristled.
Rei was about to reply when a loud shout stopped in her mid-sentence.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" the manager demanded as Motoki stormed out of the restaurant.
"You can take this fucking job, and shove it up your ass! I'm done. Finisco!" he bellowed, throwing his uniform shirt at him.
Endymion followed Motoki out of the restaurant, but stopped dead in his tracks. Motoki only spoke in Italian when he was seriously pissed.
"Oh fuck..." he whispered.
"I shouldn't be working in this god-forsaken rat-trap you call a restaurant! I'm sick and fucking tired of playing by everybody else's rules. Finisco!" Motoki continued his ranting as he frantically took a wipe at his still bleeding nose.
"He's right," Endymion thought to himself. He was tired of playing by everybody else's rules.
"That makes two of us," Endymion said proudly, as he shoved his uniform shirt into the manager's chest.
Motoki and he both stormed off; however, as the road split into two paths at the intersection, they each took a different direction.
"What was that all about?" Usagi questioned as she flipped back her golden hair and took a seat across from Rei, tilting her head towards the spot where the heated scene just took place.
Rei threw her any angry glance.
"Hmm, I don't know. Endymion seems a little off. Trouble just seems to follow him around like a dark cloud," Ami noted softly.
"Yes well, I think a lot of people bring the rain upon themselves," Rei whispered venomously, in a failed attempt to sound nonchalant.
Usagi stole a glance at her anxiously.
"So Rei, tell us about the novel," Ami chirped in, nervous to change the topic.
"Why is everyone so fucking nosy, the book's coming on fine, if you want to know about it, splurge a little and spend twenty dollars when it comes out," she bit out.
They all exchanged looks and settled into an uncomfortable silence.
"Besides, it was going to have a happy ending, but not anymore. I decided that this one is going to be realistic," she added softly.
"Don't be so bitter Rei! Lots of love stories have happy endings!" Mina exclaimed.
"Hmph, I am toying around with an idea of a sex-deprived woman, finding happiness in a frivolous affair, but it was even too naïve for me, so I might work that in, as an unhappy ending of course. And speaking about failures, why were you late. It's quite rude you know, to keep people waiting," she whispered dangerously low.
Usagi stared at Rei aghast. She knew. She knew. She knew.
"I'm sorry, I just lost track of time," Usagi replied, trying to keep her voice even.
"I apologize for keeping you waiting, but I'm really just so involved with life. I never realized what a beautiful world it was," she breathed.
"And while we're on the topic of new life, how's the baby Ami?" Usagi asked enthusiastically.
The rest of the conversation was dedicated to the joyful babbling that only the prospect of a new baby can bring.
Endymion flopped upon his bed, staring at the blank ceiling. Things were fucked up all right. He just lost his best friend, again, and he hadn't practiced for awhile. Shit. His concert, the only reason he was in this god-forsaken city, was in a week. He sighed. Why couldn't he have the girl and his best friend? But he was not going to let Motoki go, not because of a girl, as he had done so many times in the past. He placed his hands over his face, and groaned. He would deal with Usagi and Rei later, but first he had to make peace with a more important person...
Endymion walked into the building, his footsteps echoing softly, disturbing the sacred peace and dusty pews. He slipped into a front pew, and gazed upward, the pain-stricken face of Christ on a cross stared back at him. He breathed in shakily, the incense tainted air causing a scratch in the back of his throat. The rustle of clothing to the side of the quiet church caught his attention and sent his nerves on end.
"Can I help you, or are you just here for the healing presence of the Lord," the elderly priest asked the handsome man with the wind-swept ebony hair.
"Father, I'm here to make peace," came his raspy voice.
"I've done some things I'm not proud of, and I'm sure I'll spend some time in purgatory for my sins, but it's better than the eternal fire, right?" Endymion asked with a slight smile.
"If you're truly sorry, you'll see the face of God right away," he replied.
"But I'm sinning now Father, and I am fully conscious of my decision, that's a severe break from God, but even though it is forbidden in the Scriptures, I believe that I am doing the right thing. Is that wrong of me," he asked a note of almost pleading in his voice.
"Are you Confirmed?" the priest asked cautiously.
"Yes, Endymion Alexander Sebastion Shields, but what does that have to do with anything" he replied perplexed.
"If the breath of the Lord moves inside you and gives you this guidance, then I believe that you are following the will of Christ," he said.
"Yeah, well the Spirit is sure picking a funny time to show itself. I could've used its guidance a lot sooner," he replied, a note of bitterness resounding in his words.
Endymion took a deep breath and shakily started:
"Father, I have sinned against the church and God. With reckless decisions I caused the death of a beautiful young girl, bought about the death of unborn life by creating it in the first place, destroyed the lives of my Aunt and Uncle, forced the woman I loved into selling herself, and toyed with the emotions of a fragile soul," he choked on his words, burning tears forming in the corner of his eyes.
The priest stared at the dark-haired man, with stormy eyes. The seconds ticked by in silence.
"I absolve you of these sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," he said softly making the sign of the cross above Endymion's bent head.
Endymion exhaled slowly, a weight that he did not realize was so heavy slipped off his chest. He had missed the amazing feeling of being forgiven unconditionally. He had almost mentioned Usagi, but had decided against it. He was not going to ask for clemency concerning her, for he did not regret a single moment spent in her presence. He smiled, it was a new day.
He placed his sweaty palms together, and began his penance, the forgotten words tumbling from his lips:
"Padre nostro, che seri nei cieli...."
Motoki walked grumpily towards his apartment, tossing his empty scotch glass rather carelessly unto the table. He was not in the mood for any visitors. He was half-drunk, pissed as hell, and feeling the after effect of regrets from his rash decision.
"Yeah," he said miserably pulling the door open.
His throat tightened as old memories swirled within his chest.
At that moment, as Endymion stood leaning against the door frame, with dark hair like wet raven feathers clinging to his forehead, and a devil may care smile tugging at his lips, he looked just as he used to when Motoki would knock on his door, and he would come jetting out, the warm summer air pleasant upon their faces.
"What the hell do you want? To chastise me on how I could not afford the decision I just made, or to rub in my face that you fucked Usagi, and defied Ryan as I never could," Motoki demanded bitterly.
Endymion smiled and shifted his weight.
"He's the one who likes all the pretty songs. And he likes to sing along. And he likes to shoot his gun. But he knows not what it means. Bruises on the fruit. Tender age in bloom," he sang softly, an apologetic look swimming in his eyes.
"We're not teenagers anymore Endymion," Motoki tried to explain exasperated.
"I think everyone should look at the world through the eyes of child. And anyone who thinks they cannot make mistakes based on lack of experience is a fool," Endymion replied swiftly.
Motoki gaped at him, and shook his head.
"Haven't you figured it out yet, you're supposed to be some fucking genius violin prodigy?! I care about Usagi a lot actually, but when it comes to her love life, as long as it's not violent, it's really none of my damn business. I was jealous. Not of the fact you banged Usa, I love Rita. I was jealous that you did not let Ryan control your life and dictate your dreams. Well I'm done laying down. I'm going to open the best restaurant this goddamn city has ever seen, and if Ryan doesn't like it, he can suck my dick, because I don't really give a shit," Motoki said more loudly than usual in his drunken stupor.
"So we're friends again," Endymion laughed.
"Always," he replied.
Rei sat quietly, staring into the dancing flames of her fireplace. She wished she could become the flames, just be consumed, until all the pain, all the emotion, just melted together and turned to ash. She took a slow sip from her wine glass, the alcohol doing little to soothe her broken spirit.
"Why does everything have to be so hard? Why must every man I love be taken from me?" she said quietly in a flat voice.
"God Chad, I miss you so much," her voice broke as she bit her bottom lip, constraining the tears.
A gentle knock on the door awoke her from her reverie.
"Yes," she said softly as she opened the door, pulling her red silk bathrobe tighter around her shoulders.
"Hey," said a hoarse masculine voice.
"Come in Endymion," she sighed, moving out of the way to grant him access to her modest home.
Usagi paced around her spacious bedroom. Back and forth. Back and forth. She sighed angrily. How could she go from feeling so good, to feeling so shitty. But she was furious with herself more than anything. She was slipping too far. She was willing to sacrifice her friends, her husband, and her life, for a man she had only known a few weeks. She used to be in control, but now things were unraveling...fast. She whipped around and faced herself in the mirror; an ashen and anxious face stared back at her.
"Get yourself together," she commanded coldly.
"Endymion I don't know why you're here. Trust me, you don't have to apologize for anything," Rei said wearily as she sat down on the couch, motioning him to take a seat a next to her.
"I know, it's just that," he trailed off as he admired her image in the firelight.
Her raven hair lay sprawled across her back, a contrast to her porcelain skin. Her low cut bathrobe revealed ample cleavage and clung seductively to her hips. Endymion shifted uncomfortably. His eyes wandered back up to her face, as he watched the flickering of the flames toss shadows upon her cheek bones. He immediately lost his arousal, however, as he realized the pain reflected in her violet eyes. He knew if he wanted to he could have Rei. But he knew it would just be a lie, for both of them. He needed release, and she needed to be loved. At that moment, he swore to God that he would find her happiness. He had much to pay for.
"I actually came over to tell you that I talked to that publisher that I was speaking to you about. He said that he could meet with you tomorrow afternoon. I can give you his cell phone number if you wish. His name is Jedite Lomack."
Usagi laid on her bed, allowing the darkness to consume her. She listened to her steady breathing fill the quiet room. She put a hand to her head, trying to force the haunting images from her mind, but whenever she closed her eyes, she saw him. The way his firm muscles contorted underneath her touch as he moved in and out, in and out. The way his bangs would fall over his eyes and how his beautiful mouth would whisper words of undying devotion. She let out a strangled moan. She knew that Rei loved him, and she felt so selfish for denying her friend that. It would be different if she loved him, but of course she didn't. She loved Ryan. And Ryan loved her. Ryan loved her. She didn't really know what she was doing with Endymion. And there in the dark of the quiet bedroom she shared with her husband, the answer came to her. She held on to Endymion for the same reasons she continued to hold on to the secrets which she kept closed to her heart, and behind locked doors.
Usagi looked at the clock, as she continued to lie there, letting the evening hours slip into the darkness of night. She did not wish to fall asleep, nor did she particularly want to stay awake. She let out a frustrated sigh, and squirmed within the satin sheets. She remained still for a few moments, her face pensive with thought, until she gave into the internal battle, and let her hand slither between the warmness of her legs. She licked her lips as she got a steady rhythm going. BRRIING. Her hand flew out from in between her, and she looked wildly around, as her heart beat frantically in her chest. BRRIING. The phone once again sliced through the quiet of the house. She let out a shaky sigh of relief as she reached for the receiver.
"God that man must have a sixth sense, he always calls when I'm doing something he doesn't approve of," she cursed underneath her breath as she prepared herself for another talk with her husband.
"Hello," she said, hopefully in a casual voice.
"Hey," replied a husky, masculine voice.
"Endymion! I wasn't expecting to hear from you, especially after this morning, what happened at the café," she bubbled, as she ran a hand through her silky mane.
"Hey, can you meet me at the bridge in the park, in about 10 minutes?" he asked calmly.
"Umm...but it's.." she began, but was quickly cut off.
"Only ten, we are relatively young," his deep voice resounded in her ears and in her heart.
A small smile spread across her lips as she remembered those same words he spoke to her just a couple weeks ago. It seemed so long ago...
Usagi once again stared at her reflection. She knew she shouldn't go. She should just cut her losses. But she couldn't. She couldn't let all of her spirit and dreams die.
"I'll be there soon..." she whispered softly.
Endymion threw on a coat and cursed beneath his breath. This was it. There was only one more person left to make peace with it. He grabbed his keys and walked resolutely towards the door.
Usagi walked at a brisk pace. The park was about a one and a half mile walk from her house, but she didn't feel like driving. Besides Endymion lived about twenty-minutes away, it would take him a little while to get there. She looked at the happy couples holding hands, laughing, stealing kisses and glimpses of one another. She wiped furiously at her eyes. She and Endymion could never be like that. They could never walk hand in hand in the bright sunlight or under the glowing streetlights. They would always be in fear that someone would see, see and tell Ryan. And Ryan could never know. This was it. She was calling it off. Ryan was right when he said that she was selfish and unrealistic. Ryan was so good for keeping her and taking care of her. So good. Endymion deserved better than her, Endymion deserved someone who he could be proud of and take places without fear of confrontation. He deserved someone who could love him. As she neared the park, she practiced how the words would feel on her lips.
"Goodbye Endymion," she breathed.
As Usagi neared the bridge she saw the strong outline of Endymion on the other side, his hands in his pockets, doing almost a little jig to fend of the cold night air. Her face lit up in a smile as she watched him, and her small laugh caused him to stop. Even from across the bridge, she could see the embarrassed expression gracing his features. They stared at each other for a few moments, both unwilling to move.
"I will not go to her," Endymion repeated silently to himself.
He could no longer survive in this one sided relationship. He did not want a lover that was invisible to the rest of the world, one that only revealed herself to him behind locked doors or beneath the covers. She had to be willingly to compromise, to meet him halfway.
Usagi stared at Endymion, willingly him to move.
"I will not go to him," she repeated silently to herself.
She could not show him that she needed him. He needed to know that this was all on him, and she just had the good will to let him carry on. This relationship was his doing, not hers.
Endymion let out a sigh of resignation as he realized that she was not going to move. And his cheeks burned with shame as he took his steps, his face downward. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fight it. He was going to be strong, he was going to be manly, and he was going to be in control. He had to suppress a cynical laugh. He was love's bitch once again, and she knew it. He would once again be there to the bitter end, abandoning his God, his career, and his friends, all for her. All because he loved her. However, he stopped suddenly about halfway across the bridge as he slammed into something soft. He looked up to see Usagi's bright blue eyes shining back at him. He opened his mouth, but she placed a finger upon his lips, urging him to be silent. Words were not needed. She replaced her finger with her lips, and the couple kissed in the middle of the bridge, concealed in the darkness. Invisible to the world.
"No, just park it on the street," Usagi giggled, as Endymion swiftly pulled up alongside the curb.
"What will the neighbors think?" he joked, flashing a flirtatious smile.
"Let them talk," she smiled, flipping back her golden hair.
He smiled.
Usagi opened the door, and Endymion whistled in amazement as he followed her into the spacious foyer.
"Holy shit," he murmured as he took in the chandelier and cathedral ceilings.
"Yeah, well Ryan's a pretty good businessman," she responded to his admiration.
"Hmph, I know," he whispered in reply.
Usagi quirked an eyebrow before slowly ascending the winding staircase.
Endymion followed her up in anticipation, two steps at a time. However, he noticed how the hallway leading to the master bedroom groaned under his step, and how the door creaked as he slowly pushed it open, almost as if in protest to the presence and touch of another man inside the house.
Usagi stood before him, slowly unbuttoning her blouse to reveal her breasts straining against the material of her bra.
She slid unto the bed; he could see her chest moving up and down quickly. He took a quick scan of the room, noting the impeccable taste in decorating. His gaze lingered on a portrait of Ryan and Usagi, obviously when Usagi was much younger; her eyes held the more hopeful and un-jaded look of youth. Finally his eyes rested once again on Usagi, as she laid there, her jeans unbuttoned to reveal a glimpse of pink panties. This was the ultimate betrayal. To take another man's wife between his own covers was the highest perfidy.
"As long as you're in love, you can do no wrong," he smiled to himself, and he stalked over to Usagi.
He captured her mouth, slowly tasting her; however, she wrapped her legs around him and deepened the kiss, demanding all of him. He trailed kisses down her neck and on the curve of her voluptuous breasts, but she moaned in protest. She tangled her hand in the mess of his black hair and pulled his face to her.
"I need you," she breathed, urgency written in her eyes.
His mouth once again came roughly down upon hers, as he searched blindly for a rubber through the pockets of his discarded pants lying beside them..
"Hmm...Endymion don't worry about," she cooed as she turned his face towards her, placing hot kisses along his jaw bone, and grinding her wetness against his manhood.
"Ah, Usagi..." he moaned, biting his lower lip, as her hips continued their wicked administrations against his groin.
She looked straight into his eyes.
"Endymion, I'm a virgin to you. I've never really felt a man inside me, there's always been rubber separating us. Don't you want to touch, don't you want to feel what no man has ever felt before?" she asked seductively between kisses, arching up to him, and continuing the steady rocking of her pelvis.
"Oh God," he murmured, closing his eyes and enjoying the sensation of the friction she was creating between them.
"I'm sorry Usako, I can't," he said, finally grasping hold of the elusive condom.
"Why not? Don't you want to be more intimate with me than any man has ever been?" she demanded.
"It's not that Usako, honest, but what if you get pregnant?" he replied exasperated.
"Don't you want children?" she asked incredulously.
"Of course, but not now, not like this," he whispered.
She studied his handsome face and groaned inwardly. He was right. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right.
She gingerly took the condom from between his fingertips and rolled it unto his very hard dick.
"You're right," she whispered, softly brushing her lips against his..
"Now fuck," she breathed.
A sinful smirk tugged at his mouth as he plunged deeply inside her. The sounds of their strangled moans and the intense banging of the headboard echoed throughout the large house.
"Where have you been all day," Kunzite growled as he pulled Mina close to him the minute she walked through the door.
"I was with the girls for lunch, and then I did a little shopping," she giggled as he placed warm kisses on her neck.
"Mmm, so how are they?" he asked as he continued his ministrations on the soft flesh of her neck.
"No wonder Rei stayed here after Chad died, there's so much inspiration.. I swear to God, it's like a soap opera every day," she said, catching his head and capturing his mouth with a kiss.
"Well I have something that will make the plot thicken. I got a very interesting and surprising phone call today..."
"Oh my," Usagi said, trying to suppress a giggle as she picked up a picture of Ryan and her which fell off the wall during their love making.
"I think we might have gotten a little carried away," he whistled as he surveyed the damage done to the wall behind the head board.
"Oh well, I don't think he'll notice," she replied.
'But look at that crack," he motioned to a steady line going up the wall.
Usagi gave him a devilish smile before slipping her fingers between the crack and flinging it open.
"Oh my God..." he murmured as he stared at a room the size of a large closet.
There was what looked like empty shoe boxes stacked up to the top. There was only enough room in the closet for about one person to stand, rather uncomfortably.
"The builders of the house put it in for storage; I guess they thought two walk-in closets weren't enough. Anyway, since Ryan's never home, he doesn't even know about it," she whispered as though Ryan would be able to hear her if she spoke any louder.
"What's in all the boxes," he asked surveying them suspiciously.
Usagi stood up on her tip-toes and tentatively took down a box. She placed it on the bed, and motioned for Endymion to sit down next to her.
"I've never shown these to anyone before, so please don't be harsh," she said, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.
"Usagi, these are brilliant!" he exclaimed as he fingered through the multiple designs.
"I never knew you had such talent."
"Yeah, well Ryan doesn't seem to think so," she replied glumly.
"Why aren't you an interior designer?" he asked incredulously.
"Ha! I wouldn't make it one day, Ryan's right. At least he did let me decorate the house, that was so good of him," she said, almost more to herself.
"Why the hell do you sit behind a desk all day, doing nothing really?" he asked.
"Because Ryan saw how bored I was at home all day, so he gave me a job as a secretary at his office. Well they say I'm a partner, but that's a load of bullshit. Ryan just said that to make me feel better. But at least I have something to occupy my time," she explained.
"Or another way for Ryan to keep an eye on you," he replied disgusted..
"God gave you a talent, and you're sitting there wasting it. I thought you knew better than that," he said vehemently.
"I mean look at these, how could anyone make you believe that these aren't good?" he demanded quickly scanning through the multiple pages.
However, he stopped short as he noticed a common theme in the pictures she had shown him. They were all obviously designs for a baby's or child's room. He raised his head slowly and gave Usagi a questioning look. She blushed and turned away.
"Here, I can show you the room those designs were for, then you really get the complete picture," she said softly, leading the way out of the bedroom.
They came to a room at the end of the wall. Endymion looked inside and found it to be completely bare and white.
"Well, it does need some color," he said with a smile.
"This is the only room Ryan wouldn't let turn into a guest room. I guess he gave me hope that there could once be a cradle in there," she said, her words broken as she lifted a hand to her mouth in an attempt to prevent the tears.
Endymion motioned to comfort her, but she batted him away.
"Besides, it doesn't matter now. I've decided to turn it into a library," she said, somewhat regaining her composure.
Endymion stared at her for a few moments, at the intense longing in her eyes.
And suddenly it all became clear as Ryan's word echoed in his mind: "Don't talk of things which you don't understand."
Endymion thought it was rather odd that Ryan would be so paranoid about Usagi's faithfulness, but he wasn't worried about her being attracted to another man, he was concerned about how far Usagi would go to get pregnant. And as he continued to stare at Usagi, who was obviously somewhere far, far away within the corner of her mind, he questioned everything he had sacrificed for her. Maybe she didn't love him at all.... all she wanted was a baby. He closed his eyes, and forced himself to believe that it wasn't true. It couldn't be true, for if indeed it was, Ryan had won.
"It's past midnight Usako, I guess I should get going," he said.
"But Endy, aren't you hungry...you must have worked up an appetite," she giggled, pulling him back into the bed with her.
After she had shown him the room, they decided to move back to more pleasurable things.
"I think I've eaten plenty," he replied huskily, slowly stroking her must sensitive area.
Usagi blushed bright red in response.
"I guess I'll see you to-," but he stopped in mid-sentence.
Ryan was going to be home tomorrow.
"I'm sure he'll have some business to attend to," she replied nonchalantly, as she threw on some clothes and went downstairs.
Endymion finished zippering up his pants and followed her.
"Here," she said placing a key in a hanging flower basket on the porch.
They looked at each other in silence for a few moments.
"You have the key Endymion. You've unlocked all the secrets about me. However, don't hurt me by forcing the door, I need time," she whispered.
He gave her a quick kiss before heading towards his SUV.
"I love you Usagi," he called to her.
"I know," she smiled.
Usagi walked light-hearted back into the house, but her heart jumped to her throat as the violent ring of the phone sliced through the quiet.
"Hello," she said shakily.
"Hey baby."
"Oh Ryan, I can't wait to see you tomorrow," she said in an attempt to be enthusiastic.
"I know baby, but I'm going to be later than planned. My flight got cancelled, so I'll have to take the afternoon flight. But I'll be home in the evening," he said.
"Oh, okay," she replied, trying to sound disappointed.
"Well you better get some sleep sweetheart, you're not going to get any tomorrow night," he finished huskily.
"I love you," she said softly.
"Bye."
Usagi placed the phone back down. She did not know why the thought of Ryan's hands upon her suddenly gave her a nauseous feeling. She stared at the rumpled bed sheets, and felt the place where Endymion had laid just a few moments ago. It was still warm and smelled of roses and cinnamon. She began to cry. But they were different from the tears that were often shed from missing her husband and feeling unloved, the walls could tell the difference. These were tears of the most intense pain, brought on by the realization that you must let go someone you truly loved.
Ryan raised his glass to his lips, as he gave a seductive smirk to the reason his flight was "cancelled": a slim brunette who was waiting in the hotel lobby. He was going to give a certain violinist a call tomorrow. He knew Endymion thought him idiotic, but he knew that even if Usagi did end up having feelings for the musician, they would be instantly broken when the entire plan was revealed. Oh yes, he was going to tell Usagi, and let her feel ashamed. Everyone thinks that love is the only thing needed for a relationship to survive, but he knew better. It was not love, but trust.
Endymion jetted up the steps to his apartment, whistling a familiar tune. Everything was perfect. Usagi would eventually leave Ryan and be with him, and they could live happily ever after. He could wait for her, he would always wait. However, he stopped his whistling in mid-note as he noticed the familiar form of a slender figure with raven hair, asleep outside his door.
Wooh, that's done! Hoped you enjoyed. Okay, just a few after notes. The poem in the beginning is actually a song by Damien Rice called "Volcano." It has an awesome violin so you guys should listen to it! Also that saying, "...Tender age in bloom", well those are lyrics from the Nirvana song "In Bloom." Also, as you may have picked up Endymion is a Catholic, and I know you might be thinking that Catholicism is not that prominent in Japan, but I have to remind you that Endymion is from Italy originally. Also, I'm sorry about not reposting chapter 5, couldn't figure out how to fix it. If you have any questions about was has happened SO FAR just e-mail me and I'd be happy to answer your questions. Okay, just wanted to clear a few things up! Remember to review, review, review!
~PinkMoonBeam