DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sailor Moon, but all plot-lines and original characters are of my own creation.
RATED: R for strong language and sexuality.
Trust Between the Covers
"Yes I need one ticket, first class to New York City. Thank you," he said curtly, his long elegant fingers slipping the sleek cell phone back into his low-fitting blank pants.
He needed to get out of this fucking city as soon as possible. Mangi, with its sunny shores and reflecting sea was as hypocritical as a certain blonde-haired whore, and like her the cliff-town belonged in the dark attic of his mind. He smiled. New York City was where he belonged, merged with the soul-less bodies wrapped in pressed suits.
Usagi twisted her hands nervously in her seat. She had never been to New York. However, she knew in her heart, and by the butterflies in her stomach, that fear-of-flying and a new city were not the causes of her nervousness. She had told Seiya that she was going on a business trip to speak with potential clients. She had said that she was hoping to expand her interior design business to an international level. She smiled to herself. The ruse of a business trip was so common, so easy to believe. No wonder Ryan utilized it for his adultery.
FLASHBACK
"So, you like being a whore do you? You are nothing but a filthy whore. I know you cheated on me, that violinist could not fool me with his transparent lies. Well if you want to be treated as whore, I'll damn well treat you like one," a beautiful man with tanned skin and emerald eyes breathed dangerously, never yelled, as he grabbed his delicate wife, pushing her roughly upon the bed, the sheets chaffing her cheeks, as he entered her ass roughly. She squealed in pain, her fingernails forming ruts in her palm which would never fully heal.
END FLASHBACK
Usagi blinked her eyes furiously, trying to erase the horrid images, but they seemed to be imprinted upon her eye-lids. She would never forget, but never fully remember, that year before Ryan's death and after Endymion left. She stared out at the passing clouds.The sky was a lovely shade of blue.
Endymion walked upon the streets of the lighted city, not fully there. He was with a pale body laying in a bathtub in a cheap room in a small town in Italy.
"Don't worry love; we'll be together soon enough. But now I have to pay my purgatory on Earth," he whispered to himself.
That was all life was to him now. Suffering he most forego as penance for his sins. However, he was going to go out with a bang. A wicked smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as thoughts of his plan for Minako and Kunzite swam in his mind. He would not only do it for himself, but also to avenge his fallen love. But first he had to take care of a nasty little article which could undermine the last gift his mother left him: his talent for the violin.
"I am the key to the lock in your house, that keeps your toys in the basement, and if you get too far inside, you'll only see my reflection," Endymion mouthed the words noiselessly.
An empty vodka bottle lay by his side and a burning cigarette hung from his limp fingertips. He breathed in softly, letting the dark room penetrate him. He closed his eyes. The figures of his mother, Gianna, Usagi, and his dead love danced before him. They were everywhere. In the daylight of the busy streets, in the notes upon his music sheets as well as the between the sheets upon his bed. He felt as though all of his life was just a waking dream. He let out a hoarse laugh that did not come from his stomach but from a hollow place within his chest. A frightful dream. Life is.
Usagi clenched her delicate hand in a tiny fist. With quivering wrist, she banged upon the oak door three times. To her surprise, it was not difficult to gain access to Endymion's front door. She had simply asked the doorman if she would be able to go to Mr. Endymion Shield's apartment. He had given her a jeer and said simply, "Heh usually Mr. Shields prefers darker-haired women," before opening the door before her, allowing her to enter the luxurious building. However, she was brought back from her reverie from the creaking of the front door. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight before her. Endymion stood before half-naked, clad only in a pair of low-fitting black pants; his ebony hair tousled giving him a slightly boyish look. She had to remind herself that it was not two years ago, when one day she banged upon his apartment door looking for company and redemption. However, it was not the same man standing in front of her. His body was still lithe and muscular; however, his stomach showed signs of someone who had lost a large amount of weight in a short amount of time. The skin of his face was pulled taunt upon his cheek bones, and the once stormy eyes were a cool calm. Endymion Shields was still brutally handsome, however there was no fire burning beneath the masculine skin. He was a shell of a man.
"Oh demon why must thee haunt me still," he barked from sensuous lips.
Usagi jumped at his abrupt speaking.
"What nonsense you speak!" she replied with a raised eye-brow, as she slipped past his out-stretched arms into the large expanse which was he apartment.
A quick sweep of the eyes revealed the same cold stoic taste which graced his previous living space.
"Oh demon why must thee haunt me still," he repeated, this time the words slightly slurring together.
Usagi gave him a hard stare. To her disbelief she took in his clearly intoxicated form and the cigarette still resting between his fingers.
"What are you doing?" she asked aghast, grabbing the cigarette and putting it out in an already quite full ashtray.
"You despise smoking!" she chastised.
"I also despise women who lie, cheat, and destroy the soul of men. Oh wait, that is all of those who house breasts and vaginas. See at least men are straight-forward with their intentions, ours is on the outside, while yours is nestled, hidden between your legs. You use sex as a weapon," he said matter-of-factly.
"That is crude and unnecessary," Usagi spat, her hopes slowly deflating.
Endymion gave her a shrug as he sauntered into the kitchen to pour himself another drink.
"You still didn't answer my question," he said softly.
"I have no desire to decipher that drunken babble in which you were uttering earlier," she said disgusted and fully disappointed.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he said firmly.
Usagi blanched.
"Better?" he asked with a smile.
"Quite," she replied curtly.
"I'm here to see you. I missed you," she said softly moving closer to him.
Even with the smell of alcohol and nicotine, she could still distinguish the scent of cinnamon and roses which was him.
"Did you miss me when lay my soul by your feet? Did you miss me as you watched my most prized possession burn?"
"Endymion-"Usagi started, but Endymion cut her off.
"But I'll tell you who did miss me. Monique missed me as she lay bleeding to death in an uncaring, peeling bathtub," he interjected, his voice rising.
"Oh my fucking God. Not her again," she sighed.
"Endymion I came to make peace," she tried again.
A dark shadow passed across his prominent features.
"There is no peace for me," he breathed.
"Oh you were always so melodramatic!" Usagi cried.
"And you were always a selfish whore!"
This time Endymion's voice cut through the room like a knife.
"Are you honestly standing in front of me, and telling me that you have not thought about me at all since you left two years ago?" Usagi begged exasperated.
This was not how she had hoped their first time seeing each other after so long would transpire.
"Oh no. I thought about every time some hopeless girl squealed my name beneath me. I thought about sleepless nights staring at the patterns the moon makes across the ceiling. I thought about you when I played the violin foreign to my fingers as my cherished one exists in ashes. Well, as they say ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I'll join it too," he hissed.
"Stop being so goddamn misanthropic," she commanded.
"All I remember is that you told me that you loved me countless times. I believed it and so did you. Love can conquer anything. You taught me that Endymion, don't you remember?" she demanded, a note of desperation entering her voice.
His cold eyes blue eyes fixed upon her. But Endymion was not there. He was somewhere far away.
"I LOVE YOU ENDYMION!" she sobbed.
"I love you," she finished quietly.
That was the first time those words poured from her mouth unto his ears.
"Oh my poor deluded Usagi," he gained immense pleasure at the malicious tone of his words, "Do you think those three little words fix everything?"
Usagi looked up at him with watery eyes.
FLASHBACK
"Oh my poor deluded Endymion," she gained immense pleasure at the malicious tone of her words.
All the pain and venom from Ryan that etched her soul, now poured out of her mouth into the fragile spirit of Endymion.
"This isn't some fairy tale or cheesy romantic comedy. This is real life. And do you honestly think that I would give up all this wealth around me, and run off with some violinist that I only really know from bed? How do I know that you won't leave me the second we get in a little argument? Besides, you haven't proved that faithful either," she continued.
"But..but...I love you," Endymion said incredulously, trying his best to fight back the tears.
END FLASHBACK
"Life is not a fairy-tale. Those were just false-hoods that your mother whispered into your ear at night to make each sunrise more bearable," he said cruelly.
"Are you saying that your love meant nothing then?" she asked, pushing the blade deeper.
"You looked real. And you tasted real. But it was just fake plastic love. Fake, plastic, love like that condom that separated us. We were never really part of each other," he replied, absent-mindedly staring at the night sky through the large windows leading to the veranda.
"How can you say these hurtful things? You spoke of your undying love for me? You wrote me a song!" Usagi screamed.
A strange smile which seemed to frequent Endymion's face so often as of late appeared across his pouty lips.
"You're right. I wrote you song," he said as he walked briskly to a backroom.
He handed her a crumpled piece of paper; however, this time it was not tear-stained.
Usagi opened the paper with trembling fingers and unwilling eyes.
The phone slips from a loose grip.
Words were missed then some apology like I didn't want to say. Thank you and hang up the phone. Let the funeral start. Hear the casket close. Let's pin split-black ribbon onto your overcoat. Still laughter pours from under doors in this house. I don't understand that sound no more. It seems artificial like a T.V. set. Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, Haligh this weight it must be satisfied. You offer only one reply. You know not what you do. But you tear and tear your hair from roots. From that same head you have twice removed a lock of hair you said would prove our love would never die. Well ha ha ha. But I remember everything the words we spoke on freezing South street. So now we speak with ruined tongues And the words we say aren't' meant for anyone. It's just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance, But there was once you said you hated my Suffering and you understood and you'd take care of me. You would always be there, well where are you now? Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, the plans were never finalized But left to hang like yarn and twice dangling before my eyes. As you tear and tear your hair from roots, From that same head that you have twice removed a lock of hair You said would prove that our love would never die. As I sing and sing of awful things, the pleasure that my sadness brings As my fingers press onto the strings you get another clumsy chord. Haligh, Haligh, an awful lie. This weight will now be satisfied. I will give you only one reply, I know not who I am but I talk in the mirror To the stranger that appears. Our conversations are circles and always one sided, Nothing is clear.
Except we keep coming back to this meaning that I lack. He says the choices were given and Now I must live them or just not live, But do you want that?
"Endymion do not turn your back upon the world," Usagi breathed.
"I am dead to this world," he whispered.
"Since when did you become this nihilist?" she shouted, her patience gone.
"I love you! Isn't that enough?" she shouted, pounding her tiny fists against his chest.
"You are and always were a selfish little girl. You think that your holy-than-thou love can fix everything. Well guess what, your love does not paint my sky blue," he cried, his patience also long gone.
"You used to say that was all that mattered," she reminded softly.
"Well I grew up," he bit back.
"You are acting more like a child than two years ago," she mumbled.
"What do you want me to do?!" he bellowed.
"Is this what you want?" he said furiously, as he gathered her up into his arms and pushed her forcefully into the wall.
She groaned as she felt his demanding tongue slinked in her mouth, and his hands brutally ripped at her panties. He tasted of alcohol and cigarettes. She moaned despite herself as she felt two of his long fingers slip inside her warmth. She heard the hurried sounds of a zipper being undone.
"Is this what you want of me?" he sobbed as he pushed harder against her soft form and hiked her flower skirt above her waist.
"Stop, stop, stop!" she pleaded as she felt his large member attempting to enter her sensitive womanhood.
"I thought this is what you wanted? If not why did you come here? Isn't this what you wanted!" he screamed.
But Usagi heard the effort present in his voice to prevent the tears from streaming down his cheeks. He once again brutally shoved his tongue down her throat, before grabbing her roughly by the wrists and throwing her upon the floor. She laid there, her body convulsing with sobs.
"Why did you come here?" he demanded quietly.
She looked at him with wounded eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He stood stoic above her, his face carved from stone.
"I don't know anymore," she replied softly.
He looked at her upon the floor, and a rare kind expression of crossed his features.
"I'm sorry Usagi. I tried to believe in love, but it is just a fantasy to make individuals feel less alone. I, however, am resigned to my fate," he spoke softly.
He gently picked her off the floor.
"This is the moment that you know. That you told her that you loved her but you don't. You touch her skin, and you think that she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me. I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking as we moved together in the dark. Every bite I gave you left a mark. Tiny vessels oozed into your neck, and formed the bruises that you said you didn't want to fade, but they did and so did I that day. All I see are dark grey clouds, in the distance moving closer with every hour. So one last touch, and then we'll go. And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more. But it was vile, and it was cheap. And you are beautiful. But you don't mean a thing to me," he whispered, pulling her close to him.
She could hear the steady beating of his heart.
He titled her mouth upwards and gave her bruised lips and soft kiss.
"Good-bye Usagi."
Once again, all apologizes. I am extremely busy with applying to colleges and other senior activities. So please no flames for the delay or the length of this chapter. The chapters are not going to be as long as they used to be. I am trying to cut down on the wait time between chapters. Once again I am going to try to promise that will be no more than a two-month wait for a chapter. Thank you so much for all you guys support. This story would not be here without you. And don't worry; this story is FAR FROM OVER. Please review.
PinkMoonBeam