December Breeze Chapter Two
I walk across the street to be face to face with her. Her security detail looks on in question. She commands them down. They allow me within their tight circle.
I am standing right in front of the enigma. The unattainable. I have to find the words to describe how I feel. I must let her know.
Relena looks on, a small, unbelieving smile on her face. She is well prepared. I am not. I tell her that this is not my forte. She nods and waits.
I tell her...how I feel.
I tell her I "like her. A lot." I tell her that I enjoy the way she makes me feel when I'm with her. I tell her everything except those three cursed words.
"I love you."
I cannot say those. Already, I can see the distance in her eyes. The shields around her heart are rising. They are locking into place, and at the same time, locking me out. It is then that she tells me that I cannot expect to find my one true love, at such a young age. She tells me that she cannot possibly be that one true love.
I look on in disbelief. I am at a loss for words. Nothing witty or charming comes to my mind—why should it? I make my coward's retreat into darkness. I walk away, leaving her—and all my hopes of happiness—no matter how temporary—behind. I try to tell myself that she doesn't mean it. I try to convince myself there is still a chance.
Perhaps there is.
Most likely, there isn't.
I cross the street again, heading for my next destination, the home that seems to elude me still. I pass by the bright lights and the music that sings of wintertime love. I curse the songs as I walk.
I find myself talking to someone I consider as a sage counsel, someone I have grown to know and trust through the years. She listens to my quiet despair. I need not say everything; she understands. However, it is difficult to get a read from her. I wish her not to feel pity for me, but to make me feel better.
It works only slightly. I leave and continue walking.
And suddenly, I find myself enshrouded in total darkness. I have escaped the lights. I am all alone.
That is when I hear it.
"Get up...get back on your feet. You're the one they can't beat and you know it."
It is not a voice that everyone can hear; it is the back of my mind. Lying dormant, centuries old, probably, but still, the message is clear.
There is hope.
For me.
I find my way back into the light. I am still horribly burned. But there is still hope. And if I have learned one thing, in all my years...it is that hope can be the greatest power of all.