The Wizard of BUNNIES!
Disclaimer: Let's just make this easy I don't own the Wizard of Oz or Tamora Pierces stuff. The End
It was a lovely black and white day in Kansas in the mystical age of the 1950s. Little Dorothy was riding her really ugly bike down the black and white road.
…
Where the hells Dorothy?!!
Alanna: I wanna be Dorothy!!!
Aly: LIKE HELL YOU ARE!! I GET TO BE DOROTHY!
Alanna: Why not? I have red hair and I can click my heels together!
Audience member:[gasp]NOOOO THE FORESHADOWING BURNS MY EARS!
Alanna: Too bad I'm DOROTHY!
Aly: You have to wear a dress!
Alanna: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekruns away
Aly: Mwaha I'm Dorothy!
Right, just get riding down the road.
Aly: Where's my Toto?
Nawat is your Toto.
Aly: Fine, where is my Nawat?
Nawat: I'm here but where's Dove? We were going to run off together and make out.
Aly: WHAT!?!?
Nawat: Umm I mean Dove and I were going to get it on in the bushes!
Aly: WHAT!?!?
Nawat: Erm I said I wanted to take Dove roughly in the barn!
Aly: WHAT!?!?
Nawat: I SAID NOTHING!
Aly: WHAT!?!?
Nawat: Caw!
Aly: Oh ok, well get in the funny basket on my bike
Nawat: Whyyyyy???
Aly: Because I've stolen you from the evil witch lady
Nawat: Your mother?
Aly: No the other one
Nawat: That crazy lady with all the cats?
Aly: That's the one!
Nawat: But I don't wanna get in the basket I don't like being a crow!
Aly: Too bad we've already wasted half a chapter rambling and we haven't even started the plot yet!
Nawat: Grumble[turns into crow]
Aly: Good job
Nawat: Caw
Aly:[shoves crow boy into basket]Yay lets go!
Ok so Dorothy finally started biking down the road. Everything was going smoothly until-
Cow:[lands on road]MOOOOOOOO!
Aly: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! A GIANT FALLING COW!
Nawat: Caw
Aly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! A GIANT FALLING COW!
Nawat: Caw
Aly: AAAA-
Yes we've established that Aly now advance the damn plot!
Aly: Wait! I can speak cow! FEAR NOT POOR COW YOU WILL BE SAVED SOON! Ok letsmesee here Moooooooomoooooooohoooooooomoomoomoomoooooohooooo!
Cow: Moo
Aly: Hmmm maybe I should try Mad Cow…[spit]Meeeeoooommmmrrrraahhhhhhhblblbllahahahahhsssss
Cow: Moo
Randomly appearing angry reader: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT SO GET IT ON!
Aly:[giggle]I like getting it-
Randomly appearing angry reader: MOVE THE PLOT!
Aly: Fine lets go abandon the poor cow
Cow: Moo
Ok so Dorothy biked all the way home with her little hostage in her basket. But when she got home to her Auntie Daine and Uncle Numair's house there was a strange black object outside. It was a long wood pole with lots of sticks on the end. There was fancy gold writing on the side that read "Nimbus-
Harry Potter:[randomly appearing]YOU STOLE MY BROOMSTICK! YOINK![steals broomstick then flies away]
Rabid hoard of fangirls: DANIEL!!![runs after him]
Aly: Well that was random
Homer Simpson: You have NO idea!
Aly: What?
Nawat: Caw
Aly: Ok[goes inside]
Daine: Dorothy there's a nice lady here to see you!
Aly:[gasp]NO ITS YOU!
Mysterious voice: Yes its me!
Aly: YOU CANT TAKE MY DOG…CROW…THING!
Mysterious voice: Oh but I can, that nasty little thing keeps rummaging in my garden! He even stole my Neal!
Ah for the mysterious witchy voice that wanted to take dear Nawat away was in fact…THE SIMMONS BEAUTYREST MATTRESS! I mean…YUKI!
Yuki: That's right now I'm taking this little crow that you stole from me back[yoinks Nawat]
Nawat: Well helllooo there
Yuki: Don't hit on me I'm married
Nawat: But are you happily married?
Yuki: Of course, now come Neal[pulls chain]
Neal:[whimper]
Yuki: Stop complaining! Yamanis don't complain!
Neal: But I don't wanna be a Yamani…
Yuki: SILENCE![yanks chain]
Neal: Owwie…
Aly: NOOOOOO NAWAT DON'T LEAVE ME!!!
Yuki:[takes Nawat and Neal away]Say goodbye little dog…crow…thing
Nawat: Caw
Aly: NO MY DEAR LITTLE DOG…CROW…THING!
Nawat:[ponders how long the dog…crow…thing joke is going to last]
Aly: How can you let her take my Nawat away!
Numair: She threatened us with a very pointy fan!
Aly: You guys are super powerful mages! Why didn't you get a gopher to bite her ass?!?
Daine: Well that wouldn't be very polite would it?
Aly: STEALING MY DOG…CROW…THING ISNT POLITE!
Daine: Touche…Oh well it's too late now
Aly:[fume]I'm going after him! And I'm not coming back![storms out]
Authors note: Yes well this is my first attempt at Tortallen comedy so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! And I want some real constructive criticism not just generic stuff. Tell me what you liked and what you didn't! I rest my case…