The Wizard of Bunnies!
Chapter 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Tortall, or any of Tamora Pierces stuff or the Wizard of Oz
A/N: Just to warn you I don't really remember the exact plotline of The Wizard of Oz so some of the events might be messed up
Alright here goes nothing (seriously) Aly stepped outside the door, and gasped. Wherever she was the most colorful place she had ever seen!
Strange voice: WELCOME SAVIOUR OF THE BALANCE!
Aly:[looking around]What the hell?
Strange voice: Down here!
Aly looked down to see a very short person dressed in brown ugly, unfashionable clothes and armed with several sharp objects.
Aly: Who the hell are you?
Midget: I'm Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq a member of the Dirty Laundry tribe of the Bazhir in the land of Tortoz! Who are you and why has the balance brought you here?
Aly: I'm Dorothy from Kansas
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: PRAISE DOROTHY, THE BALANCE HAS BROUGHT HER!
Aly: What the hell didn't a tornado bring me?
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: A tornado of the balance!
Aly: And why do you want to praise me?
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq:[points to legs sticking out from under house of the balance]
Aly: EEEEEWWWW ITS HIDEOUS!!!
Nawat:[flying out]: Ugg I know those striped stockings really don't go with those shoes
Aly: Oooooo SHINY! I wants them![puts shoes on]
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq:[gasp]You have put on the sacred Shiny Slippers! You are now infested with the head lice, er magical powers of the balance!!
Aly: Score
Nawat: Caw
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: Now we must celebrate! Time for the-OH DEAR BALANCE!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq was staring in horror at a large cloud of billowing willow patterned smoke that was erupting from the ground. When it cleared there was…
Aly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: It's the Wicked Witch of the West!
Aly: Its…YOU!!!
Yuki: YES ITS ME!! Where you really not surprised?
Aly: Not really but that outfit you have on is HIDEOUS!
Yuki:[gasp]I'll have you know this is what every witch from here to Carthakoz is wearing!
Aly: Whatever just what do you want?
Yuki: I want the shiny slippers, they were my sisters and I deserve them!
Aly: HELL NO! I TOOK THEM OFF THE DEAD THING AND I'M KEEPING THEM!
Yuki: Damn you well mark my words I'll get you little girl and you're little dog…crow…thing too!
The evil witch disappeared in another puff of willow patterned smoke and left Aly, Nawat and Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq alone.
Aly: Well that was strange…
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: On with the celebrations! WELCOME DOROTHY OF THE BALANCE TO TORTOZ !!
Immediately three other short people in ugly unfashionable clothes ran over holding large spears and started dancing.
Midgets: We welcome you to Bazhir land sing fa la la la la la la la la la la sing fa la la la la la la!!![stab]
Passing Bazhir: OW[dies]
Aly: Ew
Nawat: FEASTING TIME!! I LOVE THIS PLACE!!
After several rounds of singing and stabbing the flies got too annoying and Aly and Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq ran away to safety.
Aly: This place is nice but I need to get home to Kansas
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: Where is this Kansas? IS IT A HOLY PLACE FOR PEOPLE OF THE BALANCE?!?!
Aly: Sure why not
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: THEN WE MUST RETURN YOU TO THIS KANSOZ!!
Aly: No its Kansas
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: KANOZSAS!
Aly: KANSAS!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: OZKANSAS!!
Aly: NO OZ!!!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq:[gasp]This must be a truly holy place of the balance to have no Oz!
Aly: There you go, now how can I get back there?
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: No idea only a true person of the balance could know. OOOO I KNO!! You must seek out the wizard of-Ooo look BUNNIES!!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq points out a big herd of cute bunnies.
Aly: The Wizard of what?
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: The Wizard of-Ooo look BUNNIES!!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq points out a big herd of cute bunnies.
Aly: Seriously what is he the wizard of?
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: He is the Wizard of-Ooo look BUNNIES!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq points out a big herd of cute bunnies.
Aly: Whatever I give up. How can I find this wizard?
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: To find the wizard you must follow that thing over there!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq points out a gross sickly looking yellow frog thing.
Aly: I should follow the yellow sick toad?
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: Yes follow the yellow sick toad!
Aly: C'mon Nawat lets follow the yellow sick toad!
Nawat:[looking up from corpse]Follow the yellow sick toad?
Aly: Yes follow the yellow sick toad!
Everyone: FOLLOW THE YELLOW SICK TOAD!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: Of the balance!
Everyone: FOLLOW THE YELLOW SICK TOAD!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: Of the balance!
Everyone: FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW THE YELLOW SICK TOAD!
Sharbangalongdoliokoshaq: Of the balance!
And so Aly and Nawat ran off after the Yellow Sick Toad. Eventually they came to a fork in the dirt path they were following. Unfortunately for them the Yellow Sick Toad gave into its horrible mutilating disease and died.
Aly: Damn…now what?
Strange voice: Not that way!
Aly: I wasn't going anywhere
Strange voice: Hell if I care just don't go that way!
Aly:[looking around]Who are you?
Strange voice: Over here!
Aly stared around until she saw a really ugly unfashionable scarecrow.
Aly: How can you talk?
Scarecrow: I'm special, the farmer said so!
Aly: Who are you?
Scarecrow: I'm Neal the scarecrow!
Aly: Right now which way should I go?
Neal: Where are you going?
Aly: To see the Wizard of-Ooo look BUNNIES!
Aly points out a big herd of cute BUNNIES!
Neal: Take me with you!
Aly: Why?
Neal: Because then he can give me a backbone, er brain!
Aly: If you don't have a brain how can you talk?
Neal: I don't know…if I had a brain I could figure it out!
Aly: Right well, ok here goes nothing[cuts down Neal]
Neal: Great well which way should we go?
Aly: I thought you knew!
Neal: Ummmm it was the LLAMA!
Nawat: You guys are hopeless theres a freaking sign!
Aly and Neal stare blankly.
Nawat:[sigh]THIS WAY!
Aly and Neal stare blankly.
Nawat: Caw
Aly: Ok lets go this way!
A/N: Hehehe this one was interesting. I had a few things figured out a long time before I wrote this but most of it came in like the half an hour I wrote it. I wanted to get it done before I leave so there you go. Thanks to my reviewers especially Doms Lover and Starlit Nephredil for reviewing and inspiring the story. Also for any pissed of Stag Party fans I'm saying it now that I stole the yellow sick toad thing from UkDarkhounds Stag Party because it was so damn awesome. I suppose that's it so review please and tell me what you liked so I can work on it more! Also please read First Try,Second Chance!