The Lucky Ones

Chapter Five

You made me a shadow-boxer, baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging all around me
'Cause I don't know when you're
gonna make your move

Lucy was the first one to arrive at work the next day. She still wasn't sure what to think about what had happened at her apartment. She couldn't sleep last night; she just kept replaying their conversation and that kiss over and over in her mind. She wasn't sure how it was going to affect their working relationship. Last night Carter seemed determined to act like nothing had happened, so she had decided to also pretend it didn't happen.

"Hi Lucy." Jerry greeted with a smile.

"Hi. I wanted to apologize for last night's little outburst."

He could tell that she was embarrassed about the way she had acted at the party. "Don't worry about it. Everyone here's done it at least once before. You have nothing to worry about." Jerry smiled.

"Thanks." Lucy smiled back and walked to the lounge. On her was inside, she ran into Dr. Greene. "Sorry."

"Lucy. That's ok. I didn't think that you would be in today." Mark said with concern in his voice.

"I'm fine." When she saw that he didn't believe that, she corrected herself. "I'm much better than I was last night. I got a little carried away last night. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. Are you sure that you don't need to take a personal day?"

"I'm sure." She nodded.

"Ok." Mark replied as he left.

Lucy walked over to her locker and opened it. She was getting ready when she heard someone enter the lounge.

Carter walked over to his locker, which was right next to Lucy's. "Hey." He greeted.

"Hey." She greeted back, not looking at him. Instead, she tried to focus on the contents of her locker.

God this is awkward. He looked over at her and cursed himself for telling her about his feelings. It wasn't the right time and now he was afraid that he had just ruined any chance for even a friendship with her. "Can we talk?" he asked.

"About what?" she asked softly.

"What happened last night." He replied.

She finally looked up at him. "You said nothing happened last night. So if nothing happened, then there's no reason for us to talk." Closing her locker, she exited the lounge and ran into Dave.

"Hey, how are you?" Dave asked, concerned about the way she had left Doc Magoos.

"I'm fine." She replied.

"Did you and Carter talk?"

She chuckled. "Yeah; we did. But I don't want to talk about it right now." She rushed off.

After Lucy left, Carter slammed his locker shut and lightly banged his head against it a few times.

Dave entered the lounge and chuckled when he saw Carter beating his head against his locker. "Bad day already?" he joked.

Carter turned around. "You could say that." He started to exit the lounge, but turned around. "Hey Dave, you're pretty close with Lucy, right?"

"Yeah. Why?" Dave asked suspiciously.

"Well, can you tell me..."

"Nope." Dave interrupted, not even wanting to hear the question.

"But I didn't even ask you the question."

"Yeah, but I could tell that you want me to talk to you about Lucy. You probably want me to tell you the inside scoop about what she's thinking. But I won't do it. First of all, I have no idea what she's thinking and second of all, I can tell that she's already kinda mad that I let you cut in last night." He explained.

"Ok." Carter replied sadly. "It was worth a shot though."

For the rest of the day, Carter let Lucy have some space. He stopped acting like she was supposed to be perma-glued to him, and let her treat patients alone. He didn't want to, but he knew that it was what she wanted. When his shift was over, he didn't really want to go back to his apartment so he went up to the roof to think. He was surprised to find Dave and Lucy up there talking. He knew he shouldn't, but he decided to eavesdrop a little.

"So do you want to talk about what happened last night?" Dave finally asked. They had been sitting on the roof for almost ten minutes and Lucy hadn't said a word. Luckily, his shift was over, so Weaver couldn't yell at him for taking such a long break.

Lucy looked down at the ground. "We talked." She replied, pausing for a moment. "But can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah. Of course." Dave nodded.

"I mean a big secret—a secret that you can't tell anyone for any reason." She clarified.

"Lucy, just spit it out. You know I won't tell your secrets to anyone."

She paused. "He...well...he kinda told me that he loved me." She bit her lip, waiting for whatever reaction he would have.

Dave immediately started laughing. Then he got an angry glare from Lucy and stopped. "I'm sorry. It's not funny."

"You're damn right it isn't funny! Why would you laugh about that?" she asked, getting a little angry.

"Well, if you remember correctly, I told you he had feelings for you. But you didn't want to believe it." He pointed out.

"So you're saying I told you so?" Lucy sighed. "Great."

"So is that the big secret? 'Cause I was actually hoping for something a little more juicy and shocking."

"That's not the whole secret." Lucy shook her head. "I...uh, kinda kissed him."

"On the cheek?" Dave asked.

"No. It was on the lips." She shook her head.

"So then what happened?" he asked with interest.

"He left." She replied angrily. "I don't know what kind of game he's playing here. I mean, first he says that he loves me. Then he runs for the door as soon as I show any kind of interest. It's just like him to do that to me again."

"Again?" Dave asked curiously. Then he figured out what she was talking about. "So something did happen in exam six?"

"Yes." Lucy sighed. "I don't know what to do."

Dave put his arm around her shoulder. "Well, do you love him?" he asked.

"Well I know that right now I don't even really like him very much." She replied with anger.

Carter backed away from where he was standing and quietly closed the door to the roof. He had heard enough. He had no idea that he had hurt Lucy so much when he left last night. He didn't realize that she thought he was playing games with her. He knew that he had some serious thinking to do and left quickly before Dave and Lucy found him eavesdropping.

Meanwhile, on the roof, Lucy looked up and smiled at Dave. "Thanks for listening to me. I appreciate it. I really needed someone to talk to about this."

"Don't worry about it. I've never actually had a close female friend before. It's kinda nice." Dave smiled. "Want to go grab a pizza?"

"No thanks." She replied, looking up at the sky. "It looks like it's about to storm soon. I just want to go home. Maybe I'll read a book or something."

"Ok. Why don't you let me drop you off? I don't want you to have to walk home in rain."

"That would be nice. Thanks." She smiled, leaving the roof with him.

About two hours later, Lucy was sitting on her couch in her pajamas. She was eating ice cream out of the carton and flipping through the channels of her TV, trying to find something to watch. Hearing a clap of thunder, she was glad that she wasn't out in this horrible storm. She finally decided to watch one of the old movie channels, which was playing "Casablanca".

Meanwhile, in a bar not too far from Lucy's apartment, Carter was sitting with a beer in front of him. He had only drunk about half of it because he wanted to keep a clear head. His thoughts centered on Lucy and the mess he had made of things. He loved her, and he wanted to be with her. So why was he playing games with her? Was it because of the fact that a relationship with her would jeopardize his career and her schooling? Or was he just afraid of getting too close to her and then losing her? A light bulb went off above his head. He needed to talk to her about this new idea that had popped into his head. Laying some money on the bar, he left the safety of the bar and ventured outside. He was rudely awakened by the storm that was going on and cursed himself for not bringing an umbrella. But he knew that Lucy's apartment wasn't too far away and decided just to run there.

Lucy yawned as her eyes focused on the small television screen in front of her. She had already finished off one quart of ice cream and debated about opening up another one. But she decided that two quarts of ice cream in one night was a little excessive. So instead she concentrated on the movie, which was almost over. "I can't believe she leaves Casablanca and Rick. It's not what I would do." She spoke to herself and the empty apartment. Since the movie was over, she got up and stretched. Then she heard an obnoxious pounding on her door. "God, who could that be at this hour?" she whispered, walking over to the door and opening it to find Carter. He was soaking wet and out of breath. "Dr. Carter? What are you doing here?" she asked, surprised to see him there.

He noticed that she called him Dr. Carter. She only did that when she was mad at him. So he guessed that she was still rightfully mad at him. "I was in the neighborhood?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"God you're soaked!" she exclaimed as she looked at him.

"Yeah. I kinda forgot my umbrella. I didn't know it was going to rain." He explained, wondering if she was going to invite him in.

She sighed. "Well come on in. Since you're here, you might as well dry off a little." She motioned for him to come in.

He entered her apartment and stood close to the door. They stood there for a moment in silence.

Lucy went into the closet and pulled out a couple of towels and motioned for him to go into the bathroom. "Here." She said, handing him the towels. "If you want, I can put your wet clothes in the dryer for you. And you can wear my robe while they're drying. It's on the back of the door."

"Thanks." He smiled, entering the bathroom.

"No problem." She replied. She figured that while he was in the bathroom, she would go ahead and make some coffee for him. As she was getting out cups, she tried to figure out why he was there. Why would he come to her apartment late at night? Why wouldn't he just drive back to his apartment? What kind of game was he playing now? She turned around and saw Carter standing there in her robe. Her robe was extra-big on her, but on Carter, it barely fit. Luckily, it covered everything that needed to be covered though.

"I hope I'm not stretching your robe out too much." He told her, fidgeting with the robe.

"Oh, well, it's ok. It's an old robe anyway." She took his wet clothes from him and put them in the dryer. "It shouldn't take too long for them to dry. I made some coffee if you want some."

"Thanks." He replied, pouring himself a cup.

Lucy went over and poured herself some coffee and then followed him out to her couch. "So if you don't mind me asking, why are you really here? Did your car break down or something?"

"No. My car's fine." He took a drink of the coffee.

"Ok." She nodded. "So if your car's fine, then why are you here?"

"I really needed to talk to you." He finally revealed.

"Ok." She nodded. "About what?"

"I wanted to apologize for what happened last night."

Lucy got up. She wasn't in the mood to talk about what happened. "I don't really want to rehash that conversation."

"Just let me explain? Please?" he asked, interrupting her.

Against her better judgment, she relented and sat back down on the couch. "Ok. Explain."

"I shouldn't have just blurted it out like that. I didn't want to tell you like that. I always thought that I would tell you in a different way—a more romantic way. But it's out there now and we can't pretend that I didn't say it." He noticed that she was staring into her coffee and biting her lip nervously. "I also shouldn't have left here like that yesterday. I didn't want to..."

"Then why did you?" she asked angrily, looking up at him. "I mean, you tell me that you're in love with me, and then you just leave like that? It makes no sense."

"I know that." He nodded. "I've been thinking about why I left, and I've finally realized why."

"Well then don't keep me in suspense." She replied sarcastically.

"After what happened in exam six, I always told you that it couldn't happen again because of hospital policy. And while I normally do try to abide by hospital policy, that's not the real reason why I pushed you away. It wasn't why I pushed you away then and it's not why I pushed you away yesterday. The real reason is because I'm afraid of losing you."

"Huh?" she commented, confused.

"I wouldn't be able to deal with losing you. It was hard enough when you were in the coma. It would be too hard if I let myself love you and then I lost you." He confessed.

"You can't choose who you fall in love with." She pointed out. "And if I've learned anything from Valentine's Day, it's that life and death are connected by a very thin thread that could break at any time."

"I know. And I realize now that fear isn't a good reason to pull away from love. It's just that I don't have a very good track record with loving people. They either leave or they die."

Lucy looked down at the floor, wondering what all of this meant. "So what do you want from me?"

"It depends on what your feelings for me are. If you just want to be friends...it's fine. I'd rather be your friend than not a part of your life at all." He replied honestly. But he hoped that she would have feelings for him.

Her head was spinning. Was he asking her for a relationship? Did she want a relationship? Could they even have a relationship? "You're really catching me off-guard here."

"I realize that." He nodded.

"And what about the fact that you're my teacher and we could get in a lot of trouble for this?" she asked hesitantly. She got up from the couch and started walking around.

"Well I'm aware of the risks we'd be taking and the consequences of our actions if we got caught. But with any luck, we wouldn't get caught." He explained.

She paced around the floor, trying to make sense of what he was saying. He wanted to be with her and he loved her. She had never expected this. I mean, she had wanted it to happen for a long time, but she never thought that Carter would think of her as anything but an annoying med student that got him attacked. Stopping in the middle of the floor, she spoke again. "This isn't a game that you're playing, is it? I mean, you're not gonna wake up tomorrow and completely change your mind?"

He got up and walked over to where she was. "This definitely isn't a game. I love you Lucy, and I'll love you for the rest of my life."

Praying to God she wasn't making the biggest mistake of her life, she leaned in and lightly kissed him. "So you don't mind keeping this a secret?" she asked, pulling away from the kiss before it got too passionate.

He shook his head. "No, I don't." he looked deep into her eyes. "Are you sure about this?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I am." She kissed him again. This time it was more passionate. Grabbing his hand, she continued the kiss as she led him back to her bedroom.

Song Lyric: "Shadow-Boxer" By Fiona Apple