The Wizard of BUNNIES!
Chapter 5
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tamora Pierces stuff because it is hers and I don't own it because it is hers.
Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man have arrived in front of a menacing looking forest.
Aly: That forest looks menacing
Yes we've established that
Aly: Hmm the goldenrob slab street goes in there so I guess we have to go in
Neal: I'M SCARED!!
Joren: Pfft I'm too nobly to be scared
Neal: HOLD ME!
Joren: I would not touch such an unobly scarecrow such as you!
Neal: BUT I'M STILL SCARED!!
Aly: Too bad straw for brains, you're coming in with us
Neal: Awe but I don't like the look of those squirrels
Aly: We have to go in because I have to get back to Kansas to pay for the takeout food
Joren:[gasp]Takeout food is very unobly!
Aly: Oh just shut up and lets go into the forest!
So Aly led them (Joren was led nobly) into the scary woods. They didn't get very far though before they found a large chain of people blocking the goldenrod slab street. They were holding signs that said things like "Work for Pay", "Strike", "Will Assasinate for Food", and "Hi Mom." Aly was curious and went up to one person and talked to them.
Aly: What are you guys doing?
Random Person: We're striking!
Aly: Striking for what?
Random Person: The author hasn't figure it out yet!
Author:[randomly appearing]I have to![scribbles stuff]
Random:[looks]Oh that's what it is, we're set makers and we want better pay!
Another random person: That's right, from now on NO MORE SETS!!
Mob: YEAH!
Aly: WHAT!?!
Joren: You can't stop making sets, its unobly!
Aly: And then we won't be in the menacing looking forest anymore we'll just be on the…blank!
Mob: YEAH!
Random person: Actually it doesn't matter because we're blocking your path anyways
Neal: Well how come Dom got over there?
Neal points to Dom lying under a tree muttering to himself.
Dom: Hi strawhead!
Random Person: Oh yeah, that was Sally's fault
An ugly girl wanders over in a sort of daze.
Neal: Awe man why does Dom always get the good looking ones?
Aly: Like?
Neal: Kel
Joren: DAMN THAT UNOBLE NOBLE!
Neal: You know if anybodys unoble its you?
Joren: Yeah but I'm less unoble than her
Neal: Or at least you are now that she had a "reunion" with Cleon
Aly: Stop excluding me I WASN'T ALIVE THEN!!
Neal: How old are you?
Aly: The author thinks I'm seventeen
Neal: Right now 1 8 carry the 24 and…Actually you were technically alive then
Joren:[is nobly appalled]
Aly:…How do you know this?
Neal: Remember I'm her former squire!
Aly: Ew and I thought you needed a brain!?!
Neal: This never happened[censors the conversation]
Random Person: HELLO!?!? Pay attention to ME!?!
Joren: But you're not a noble!
Aly: Besides we're still trying to figure out how to get through
Neal:…
Joren: I think his unoble straw brain is exhausted for the day
Neal:…
Shadowy figure:[randomly appearing]I can help you get through!
Aly: What is with all the shadowy figures?!?!
Shadowy figure: The author thinks its too boring to just introduce them
Aly:[coughlazycough]
Author:[randomly appearing]Hey I'm not lazy! I'm just stupid…stupid and lazy!
Aly: What?!
Nawat: Caw
Aly: What was that for?
Nawat: I hadn't said anything yet this chapter
Shadowy figure: BACK TO ME!?![mumbles about plot drift]
Author: I heard that!
Shadowy figure: You wrote that!
Author:…So I did
Shadowy figure:[takes off shadowy stuff]Ta da!
Everyone:[gasp]
Shadowy figure: Yes its me Dom's Lover!
Aly: No we were gasping at your clothes
Joren: They are so unoble!
Dom's Lover: Whatever, I can help you through the picket line
Aly: Howso?
Dom's Lover: Like this, just follow me-DOMIKINS!!!!
Dom's Lover runs screaming at the picket line and the pickiters leap out of the way, allowing the group to run through (Joren ran nobly). They waved happily (and nobly) goodbye to Dom's Lover, who was chasing Dom into the woods. Eventually though-
Joren:[nobly]Where did the forest go?
Aly: It never got painted because the set painters are on strike
Neal: So now its just…whiteness
Aly: Basically
Neal: Fear inspiring
Joren: Very noble
Neal: Not really
Joren: Shut up you unoble scarecrow!
Aly: Whatever so now what?
Nawat: Caw, just keep walking
Aly: Um, ok
And then walked (Joren walked nobly) into the blankness.
Aly: You know I've heard there are [shudder]Liams in here
Neal: I once heard that there are deadly Thayets around
Joren:[sniffs nobly]Pfft that's not nearly as nobly horrible as the Buri's I heard were in here
Nawat: Liams, and Thayets, and Buris!
Neal: OH MY!!
Aly: Liams, and Thayets, and Buris!
Neal: OH MY!!
They got bored after this so of course a strange figure jumped out of the blankness!!
Figure: RRRRAAWWWWRRRR!!!
Everyone: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Figure: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Everyone plus the figure: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Aly: Wait…who's scared of who?
Figure:[waves hand]Ooh ooh pick me pick me!
Aly: Um ok you first
Figure: I'm scared of you!
Aly: Who are you anyways?
Figure:[removing figure stuff]It's ME the Cowardly Lioness of course!
Aly: But, but you're my mother and you're not cowardly!
Lioness: I am in this story, I mean really who fits the name better than ME!?!?
Awkward silence.
Lioness: I rest my case
Aly: Well you're still my mother
Joren: YOU UNOBLE CROSSBREED!!
Lioness:[whispering]What's with him?
Aly: He has nobility issues
Lioness: Looks like he has rust issues…
Joren:[gasp]UNOBLE RUST SPOTS!!!
Lioness: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Aly: WHAT?
Lioness:[squeek]Loud noises scare me…
Nawat: Caw lets just keep walking and hope that the sets come back…
Awkward silence.
A/N: Hey ok I realize there was a bit of a gap for this one cuz I ended up getting writers block on about the fourth line. Also I just started high school so I've been busy. Obviously Dom's Lover is her own person (go read A New and Improved Tortall and her other stuff). Man I honestly cant think of anything else really for this chapter except the sets will come back I promise. Coming up with Jorens nobility issues was fun and so was the whole Aly was technically alive during POTS.