A/N: You guys are all so darn sweet, with your quick reading and lovely reviews, that I'm putting this up much earlier than I intended. All I will say is, it is the beginning of the end, and it starts something that will definitely be explored further by our lovely duo.
Ch 13 - When it alteration finds
Sunday found Sam Carter sitting outside in her backyard, reading an old professor's latest publication about wormhole theory. The book was impossible to get through, mainly because she knew for a fact most of it was wrong, but she lacked the ability to call him up and say, "Ha, ha, I'm right, you're not."
She had spent the weekend jumping from one 'relaxing' activity to the next. Her current definition of relaxing was anything that kept her mind off of the horribly embarrassing conversation she and her CO had recently had. She had cleaned her whole house, caught up on a huge stack of mail that had piled up, mowed the lawn, repotted a bunch of near-dead plants, washed every window inside and out, done a month's worth of laundry, taken Cassie to the mall, read two novels, and called her brother and spoken to her niece and nephew.
It had worked, for the most part. The dreams hadn't left her, but by this time, she was getting very good at waking herself up before the actual kissing occurred. She had resisted the temptation to see if now that they had talked about it, the dreams would intensify, deciding that either way it would only make them harder to ignore.
The subject immediately became impossible to ignore as a familiar voice called, "Carter! You back there?" She didn't answer, hoping that he might not come see for himself, but of course he did. She heard her gate creak open and a few seconds later he was standing in front of her, dressed casually in beige cargo pants and an old Air Force t-shirt. She idly wondered if cargo pants had an age limit as he shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled at her. "Hi. You hiding from anyone in particular?"
"I'm not hiding, sir."
"You didn't answer your doorbell."
"I can't hear it out here."
"You didn't answer when I called."
"I didn't hear you."
"Liar. What are you doing?"
"Reading," she said, holding the book up as evidence. He snatched it out of her hands, frowned at the title, and set it on the table.
"What have you been doing all weekend? Nobody's had to stop you breaking into your own lab..."
"Nothing."
"I didn't know you knew how to do nothing."
"You learn something every day, don't you sir."
"If you're going to be a smart-ass off-base you might as well drop the sir, Carter."
"I wasn't being a smart-ass."
"Yes, you were."
"No I wasn't."
"Yes you were."
"You've spent too much time with Daniel."
"I know. Especially this weekend. He's been following me around like a baby duck."
She couldn't help laugh at the strange simile. "What?" he asked defensively.
"Nothing," she said, still suppressing giggles at the mental picture of Colonel O'Neill waddling across a country rode with a tiny Daniel waddling faithfully after him. General Hammond, riding an old-fashioned bicycle, had to brake abruptly to keep from running them over.
Laughing, she jumped when her CO asked, "Someone in your head say something funny?"
"Sorry... I just thought of something... never mind."
"Are you delirious? You HAVE been sleeping now, right?"
"Yes, sir."
"Are you lying?"
"No sir." She wasn't exactly lying. She HAD been sleeping much better, she was just waking up many, many times throughout the night.
"So... how did you give Daniel the slip today then?"
"I didn't. He was bugging me all weekend about making sure you were okay and everything."
"He knows I'm fine, he's called me every day..."
"He didn't tell me that. Anyway. He and Teal'c are playing miniature golf."
"What?"
"He thought it would amuse Teal'c. I'd pay to see that, myself. I would have gone with them but it would have been so embarrassing for both of them when I beat them mercilessly."
"I'm sure. Sir."
He let that one go and said, "Seriously, you're not... freaking out about what happened before, are you?"
"Depends on what you mean by 'freaking out,' I suppose, but no." She picked up her near-empty glass of lemonade and finished it off. Frowning at the glass (it had provided a legitimate distraction from their conversation,) she stood up and said, "I need a refill. Do you want a drink?"
"Um, okay."
"I don't have any beer," she warned.
"Whatever that is is fine," he said with a shrug.
She nodded and took her glass back inside. As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, she pinched her arm, hard. Wincing in pain, she nodded. "Not asleep. That's something, at any rate," she muttered, going over to the fridge and grabbing the pitcher of lemonade. She filled another glass with ice cubes and carefully brought everything outside.
She was so preoccupied with not spilling any of it that when she had finally got it set down on the patio table, she noticed her CO was looking at her in that funny way he did sometimes that made her feel very glad General Hammond and her father weren't around.
"What?" she demanded nervously as she poured the drinks for them both.
She suddenly became aware of the fact that she looked absolutely terrible: her short hair was pulled back as much as possible from her face with one of Cassie's clips. It had been useful when she had been working on the flower beds earlier, but so much hair had fallen out of the clip that it was now undoubtedly just a giant mess. All she had on was a small white tee-shirt with several dirt smudges all over it and an old frayed pair of denim shorts. She wasn't even wearing shoes; her sandals were lying forgotten in the middle of the yard.
She frowned at the realization that she cared what she looked like around him. He was talking again, and she hadn't been paying attention. "... looks good. What are those pinkish ones called?"
"Hmm? Oh. Begonias," she answered, figuring out that he had been talking about the yard-work she had obviously just finished.
"Oh." He sat down and took the glass she offered. "Thanks."
She nodded, sitting back down in her own chair, and applied herself to sipping the lemonade slowly while pretending to eye her yard critically, as though she was thinking seriously about... anything.
After several minutes of silence, the Colonel asked, "See Cassie this weekend?"
"We spent most of yesterday at the mall."
"Yuck."
She laughed. "It wasn't so bad. She threw a fit when I brought her home though because Janet told her she'd have to take back a skirt she got."
"Why?"
"Janet thinks it was too short."
"Oh. Hmm. That's... disturbing."
"Sir?"
"Cassie's thirteen."
"Yes, I know."
"So isn't she a little young for... never mind."
"If it makes you feel any better, we also spent a lot of time in the Disney store."
He laughed. "Thanks. That helps... a little."
"I don't know what you're so concerned about, you're the one that got her ears pierced over a year ago."
"That's... different."
"How?"
"I'm not sure. But it is."
"Right," she said sarcastically. They were quiet for a few more minutes.
"Sir, don't take this the wrong way," Carter finally started. "But... what exactly are you doing here?"
"Can't a guy barge in on his 2IC's downtime without an agenda?" he asked jokingly. He shrugged at her in response. "Okay, okay. Well, the thing is... and this is partly to do with me spending the whole weekend with Daniel, but this idea was all mine, I'll have you know," he started off. She raised an eyebrow curiously. This should be good. "Anyway... we both knew no matter what you said, you were... still thinking about what's been happening probably, because well... you're Carter, that's what you do. You think about stuff. So anyway... I came up with a solution to your problem."
"You did?" she asked in surprise.
"Yup. Now, before you say no, hear me out. You're a scientist."
"Well-spotted."
"And a smart-ass, but that's beside the point. You're a scientist," he repeated. She nodded and bit her lip to keep her comments to herself. "So you like to do experiments. To prove or disprove a theory." He paused and looked at her, waiting for a signal that he was making sense. She nodded. He continued. "So I was thinking we should do an experiment."
"What are you talking about?"
"You saw me and your... twin or whatever kissing, and now you're... thinking about that. Obviously the solution is clear. We just have to kiss."
Her eyes widened in shock. "Sir, that's completely inappropriate..."
"Is it? I think it will help restore our team dynamic, how could that possibly by inappropriate."
"But... the regulations..."
"Can be overlooked if deemed necessary under the circumstances. Like in Antarctica when we... when it was so cold..."
"Sir, we can't," she argued.
He shrugged. "Why not? Look, here's what I figure. It can't be as big a deal as you're making it to be."
"Me?"
"Okay, well I'll admit this is based on my own occasional thoughts... all right, what I'm saying is, we're probably both making a bigger deal out of this than it could ever possibly be in real life."
"I don't think..."
"I wasn't asleep that night," he said suddenly. "That last night. When you and Daniel were talking. I heard all of that." She hid her face in her hands in embarrassment. "And that's why I didn't tell you I was awake, because I knew it would embarrass you even more. But I know what you meant... and honestly, I don't think if we were to... I don't see how it could be as... as I at least, maybe you I don't know... have... imagined it."
She looked at him, stunned. Was he seriously suggesting this insane idea? There was no way it would help... just talking about it had made the dreams worse, actually doing it surely would... although if he was right, it could be a permanent cure.
Her mind instantly went back to her best friend in middle school. Everyone else had misconstrued their relationship so much that they had gotten confused and started to wonder if maybe they could be boyfriend/girlfriend. Their first kiss had swiftly nixed that idea. It had been so awkward... like watching Leia kiss Luke in "The Empire Strikes Back." Her cheeks flushed as she remembered watching the movie with Cassie and Janet, remembering Cassie teasing her about the Colonel being Han Solo...
"Carter? Come on, respond. I don't want to have to explain to the doc how I managed to put you into a catatonic state..."
"Sorry, sir, I just... are you sure this is a good idea?"
"No," he said with a casual shrug, as though it didn't matter to him either way. She would have found that irritating, except that his eyes told her he wasn't taking it casually at all no matter how the rest of him was acting. "But there's only one way to find out."
She thought about it for several minutes. There were so many reasons why this was a very bad idea. And the reasons it was potentially a good idea were dubious at best. But it was still an idea, and an intriguing one at that. And they were approaching the idea in such a scientific way that it really couldn't backfire. There were few things less romantic than discussing the pros and cons of a hypothetical kiss. He might be right; it might be the answer to her problem. After all, it had apparently worked on the other Sam Carter. There had to be rules though. Definitely.
"If we... try your experiment, sir," she said carefully. "I think there should be rules."
"Okay. What sort of rules?"
"Well... rules agreed upon ahead of time, regardless of the outcome of the experiment."
"That's not very scientific. I thought the experiment could confirm or refute assertions..."
"Sir. Seriously."
"Okay, okay. Rules. Go for it."
"Okay. If we do this, no matter what... happens... NOBODY, not even Daniel or Teal'c, can ever know about it."
"OR Janet," he stipulated.
"Oh God if I told Janet we even HAD this conversation she would never let me hear the end of it."
"Good. Okay, I agree to that rule. Any others?"
"Umm... we also never mention it again to each other."
"Full denial. Are you sure?"
"It would be a lot easier, sir. Hypothetically speaking, of course."
"Of course. Anything else?"
"If the experiment... fails. That is to say, if it doesn't stop... my problem... the problem is mine to deal with from now on. You can't try to help me any more."
"I'll agree to that on the condition that you stop considering it a problem and accept it."
She bit her lip, thinking about it for a moment, and said, "Okay. And one more thing."
"What?"
"The experiment cannot, under any circumstances, be repeated again."
He hesitated to agree for so long that she seriously thought he was going to call the whole thing off, and she was alarmed to find that she felt disappointed as that thought crossed her mind.
"All right," he finally agreed. "Unless at some point in the future we simultaneously agree to change that rule," he stipulated. The fact that he said that should have set off the warning bells in her own head, but she was too interested in the experiment by this point to turn back. It was the proverbial curiosity that killed the cat, or in her case, led her to do things like set off naquada reactors in her lab without informing General Hammond before hand.
"Deal," she agreed. He looked surprised for a moment but recovered quickly.
"Okay. Good to know," he said, setting his glass down and standing up as if to leave.
"What are you doing?" she asked, confused. It had taken long enough to come to an agreement, now was the time to...
"I'm not going to do it now," he said, as though she were ridiculous for assuming that was the plan.
"Why not?"
"I... can't."
"Why?" She was being intentionally belligerent; they had de-romanticized the event so much that she was hopeful the kiss would be a repeat of her previously similar experience. If they waited much longer, she wasn't sure the outcome would be favorable. Or maybe it would be entirely too favorable, and then the problem would be even bigger than before.
"Just... it's not a good idea."
"So what, you want to set up an appointment to conduct this experiment?"
"No," he said quickly. "That would be too much like a... a date."
"Okay, then what exactly do you propose we do?"
"I don't know... tomorrow at work..."
"No way! There are security cameras everywhere. Why do you want to do it at work?"
"Safety net," he said simply. "If I'm... if there's a possibility we might be... interrupted... it would be... better."
"Or we could get caught and there's no way the General would believe this story, even though it's the truth," she pointed out.
"Okay. Good point then. After work, tomorrow."
"That sounds more like a date to me, sir," she pointed out sarcastically, wondering where her earlier embarrassment had gone. She was almost daring him to kiss her now, at this point.
"Okay, okay, fine. You pick then, whatever. Just... not now."
"You're not busy at the moment," she pointed out.
"Yeah but..."
"What's wrong with now?"
"I just... you look too... you look too good right now, okay."
She looked down at herself incredulously.
"You're all... casual and comfortable and... yeah. Bad idea."
"Permission to speak freely?" she asked unnecessarily.
"Of course, but..."
"You are a very strange man."
He laughed. "Yeah, thanks."
"Well, okay, you don't want to do it now, I don't want to do it... later," she stated.
They sat in thoughtful silence for a few minutes. Finally, he stood up. "All right, fine. Have it your own way."
She looked up at him in surprise and said, "What?"
"You heard me," he said impatiently, holding out his hand. She took it warily and he tugged her to her feet. She looked around nervously, suddenly filled with doubt. This had to be one of the stupidest ideas in history, she thought to herself.
"Change your mind?" he finally challenged.
"No," she said defiantly, looking up at him. He was smirking, damn him. He knew her entirely too well, she decided as he leaned down slightly and their lips made contact before she had time to change her mind. Her head reeled at the first contact, although it was perfectly innocent. Well, not completely innocent, but it was lip to lip, nothing more. They could easily insist that it was perfectly innocent later if they needed to. To other people at least, she decided.
His hands settled at her waist and pulled her a little bit closer, and somehow she knew he was just about to deepen the kiss when they were interrupted by someone screaming her name. Her first thought was that she was dreaming again and waking herself up again, but somehow she knew that wasn't right. He broke the contact, frowning and looking around.
Clearing her head, she looked around for the source of the noise as well, and heard the gate being thrown open. She jumped away from him, putting a respectable three feet between them, and turned to see Cassie wheeling her bicycle into her yard.