Devil horns and Angel wings
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
Summary: God has always been so cruel. And the devil even crueler. To prevent a holy war, they take their best warrior and send them on an assignment. His name? Uzumaki Naruto. NejiNaruSasu
Prologue:
Sluts who went to the second level of hell for being whores and lustful bitches didn't have it so bad. Because that's where Sasuke lived. He hid the torture in the sex, and the ones who liked the kinky stuff, like the whips and hot medal rods, really did not have a bad time.
Of course, he always did the lustful, perverted guys, and was especially angry when Itachi, his brother, betrayed hell and became a risen demon. That meant no more brotherly sex for Sasuke.
Flames lit the ground as Sasuke walked over to his bedroom, not surprised to find somewhere around fifteen, bloodied, beat up girls there waiting for him. He licked his lips, and called them over, getting a whip made of flame from off the wall.
Sasuke the voice in his head called him. He shoved a blond woman off of him, and rezipped his pants. Stop fucking around and come here!
He instantly obeyed, and used a spell to teleport himself to the ninth level of hell. He said his greetings to Hitler and Stalin, who were chained to a crucifix on the wall, before going into the throne room.
"Uchiha Sasuke, you are coming with me."
"Where to?" Sasuke asked.
"We're meeting God in purgatory, something about a compromise." Satan told him. Sasuke nodded.
Neji pruned his angel wings, as he waited for the messenger, Cassandra. She came, and sat him down.
"You will not believe what I'm about to say," she told him, and sat him down a nicely carved white bench.
"What?"
"You aren't going to like it, Neji." She told him. He nodded,
"Just tell me,"
"You're going to have to escort God to Purgatory," she said, with a gasp. Neji rolled his eyes, and took Cassandra's hand.
"What's so wrong with that?" he asked. She stayed silent for a moment, staring at the chipped white pain on the bench. Neji felt sorry for Cassandra. She'd gone insane when she was forsaken to that island, by the Greek lords. She had been a prophet, and had predicted the fall of Greece, so they banished her.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, after Neji asked again, "Cause Sasuke will be there, too."
Neji tensed up. Sasuke... the evilest fucker ever. They'd been rivals pretty much forever.
"Cassandra, tell God I'm dead, anything to get me out of going,"
"Sorry," she said, "he says he really needs you."
He shuddered, and stood up, then planting a kiss on Cassandra's forehead.
"I'll see you later then, Cass," he said, picking up his katana, his Kama attached to a chain, and throwing knives.
"Bye, Neji, I'll see you when you get back," she said, and then stared at the chipping paint on the bench.
Neji 1st person:
Purgatory was a depressing place. Children who had not been baptized tugged on God's robes and begged to be let into heaven. His face got distorted with a sad smile as he shook his head and mouthed a silent apology.
It made me sick, that they were not allowed into heaven just because they were not placed in a bucket of water. I wanted to take them with me, but I knew I could only take one before God would notice.
I picked up a black haired child wearing a grey kimono, and kissed her forehead. Her eyes turned white, like mine, and I smiled. I whispered some words in celestial language, and she became small, and unconscious. I placed her in a jar at my side. I would open her later, and call her my daughter, now that we looked alike.
We finally found the central market, where a man in a blood red cloak was caressing Sasuke. I retched at the sight. God would never do that to me, and I was glad.
But I suppose it did help that the devil was a lot better looking than my own lord.
"It's been a while, Lucifer," God said to the man in red. His evil stench was so bad that I had to cover my nose. Sasuke glared at me, his own nose wrinkling in disgust.
"Yes it has kami-sama. So, you brought your best?" Satan asked.
"You've known Neji for a long time, Lucifer. Did you not assume I would automatically choose him for the assignment?" God chuckled.
"Then I guess you knew I'd choose Sasuke. You know he's perfect for this."
"What the fuck is going on?" Sasuke asked.
"In order to prevent another annoying holy war, we've chosen you two for this assignment. There is a boy named Uzumaki Naruto, he's a very pure and innocent boy, full of ambition. But he is evil. Only an evil person can sustain a demon in their body. However, he does not know he's evil... anyways, you two have to win him over. By that I mean he has to fall in love with one of you, okay?" God told us. Sasuke 'hmph'ed. The competition for this assignment was unfair, because Sasuke had an alluring charm about him that got people to want to be with him. Even me. When I was not around him, I hated him so much, but when I was this close to him, I wanted to kiss him.
I hated him for that.
"So, do you guys accept?" Satan asked. Sasuke nodded, as did I.
"You guys will go to Konoha, you will be the same age as Naruto, and you guys will have to adapt to your lives there." God elaborated.
"Sasuke, your last name is Uchiha. Neji, your last name is Hyuuga. You guys have two years, because we're a little short on time."
Hyuuga Neji and Uchiha Sasuke. Rivals for the love of Uzumaki Naruto.
Should I continue? Please R&R and give me feed back, as well as any ideas you might have for later chapters.