Devil horns and angel wings
Disclaimer: Do people actually believe that I own this? I mean come on!
He would find Sasuke, and he would kill him. (Even though it's a sin, lol)
Neji stopped running once he got to the central market, and withdrew the card again from his pocket. He used it first to fan himself off, and then looked at the address. He wiped the small amount of sweat from his forehead before he started running again.
It will all be over soon, he thought as he passed lots of random civilians, If you die, it means I win. I win and it's all over. I'll finally get rid of my love/hate relationship with that bastard demon, and I'll be able to go home. Once I win, the hell-borns will have to be in control, and will no longer tempt the once innocent people into the way of sin. It's the law of the holy wars. Whoever wins, takes all.
Lost in thought, Neji didn't see the person in front of him until it was too late. The two kids, one in obscenely bright orange, the other in a pale grey, crashed into each other.
"Hey!" the blond haired boy scolded, and tried to stand up. Neji swore mentally and helped the kid up.
"Sorry, I was trying to get somewhere important," Neji said.
"It's okay. Hey, you look... unfamiliar," he said. Neji sighed.
"I've lived here for thirteen years, you are just absent minded and have a bad memory," Neji said, in his most convincing voice. "...Hyuuga Neji," he said. The kid tapped his chin, in deep thought.
"Don't know you, but my name is Uzumaki Naruto!" he said brightly. Neji choked on his breath. This little... runt was the person he was trying to get to fall in love with him? Neji seriously doubted he'd even gone through puberty yet.
"Really? You're Naruto?" Neji asked, before he could stop himself.
"Yep!" he exclaimed. Neji shuddered, and realized how... scintillating this kid was. "Why?"
"Err..." Neji thought, and finally said, "I'd never expect Kyuubi to be in such a small child."
"That's mean," Naruto said. Neji smirked, and realized he wasn't doing a good job on the whole 'getting Naruto to love him' thing.
"I'm sorry. I spoke without thinking. Since you can carry Kyuubi, it must mean you're really strong..." Neji said, and leaned against the wall of a building flirtatiously. He glared at the sky, feeling very wrong for flirting with a guy. He was sure everyone he knew was watching him and laughing.
"Yeah I'm strong! I'm gonna' be the Hokage!" Naruto exclaimed. Neji smirked,
"Well, when you are, it'll be nice knowing I had an intimate moment with the Hokage," Neji said. He felt so dirty.
"Huh? What intimate moment....?" A confused expression crossed Naruto's face, and he scratched his face. Neji blushed, knowing what he was about to do was wrong on so many levels, he leaned in closer to Naruto's face, and licked his bottom lip, then, as Naruto gasped in... disgust, Neji took the opportunity to sinfully take advantage of Naruto. He brought both his lips to Naruto's, and after a few seconds of kissing, pulled them away,
"That intimate moment," Neji said. Naruto shivered, and brought his finger to his lip. He started to complain,
"Oh my god! My first two kisses were from GUYS!" he slumped down, leaning against the wall of the building.
"Anyways, I've got some personal needs to take care of," Neji said, not knowing of anything else to say. He ran off, in search of Sasuke. After killing that demon, he'd definitely need a shower, and he'd definitely need to brush his teeth.
Although, it was kind of nice, he admitted to himself, it felt nice to be dirtied up with the sins of YAOI smut.
Meanwhile, in heaven: God, Cassandra, the twin sisters Fate and Destiny, and a whole lot of random dead people, including John Shaffer's friend who died in a motorcycle accident, were laughing their heads of, and some of the random dead girls were getting kind of intrigued because "Yaoi smut" is hot.
Back to earth:
"Wait!" Naruto called after Neji. Neji stopped running and turned around. A heat rose to his cheeks as he came into eye contact with Naruto's alluring blue eyes.
"Why'd you do... that?" Naruto asked. Neji swore mentally, and tried to think of an answer,
"Er...," he blushed at what he was about to say, "I'm physically attracted to you." He rubbed the back of his head, and hoped Naruto couldn't tell that he was lying. Naruto smiled,
"Well, who wouldn't be..." he said, "But, I'm not gay, and even though you look a lot like a girl, I can't date you..."
Neji shrugged. That means that he wouldn't date Sasuke either, so Neji wasn't worried about his statement.
"I'm hungry..." Naruto complained. Neji shrugged, his own stomach rumbling in hunger as well,
"I guess I am too," Neji admitted.
"I know the BEST ramen place!" Naruto said, grabbing Neji by the hand and dragging him to the Ichiruka.
"You have to pay for me, though, cause I have no money!" Naruto demanded. Neji smirked.
"I thought you said you couldn't date me," Neji questioned. Naruto shrugged,
"It's free ramen, it's worth it," Naruto said. Neji sighed. He supposed killing Sasuke could be put off for one more day, and he'd just enjoy the Ramen, with his god given task, Uzumaki Naruto.
Purgatory:
God sat with Lucifer, chuckling slightly. They were sitting in the slums of Purgatory, looking at their warriors through a glass mirror.
"You are right, Lucifer, torturing ones subjects is really fun," God said, with silent chuckle. Lucifer nodded,
"It will be especially fun when Sasuke has to help people," the devil said, and laughed maniacally. God sweat dropped, and scooted away. They were disguised as teenagers, God was wearing the same outfit as one of the twins from the Matrix, and his hair was tied back in a ponytail that reached his back. Satan was wearing a black t-shirt that said "gimme a dollar and I'll go away", as well as black gothic pants. You know, the cool looking ones with the straps. His hair was black, reaching his butt, his eyes were the same color, and he wore a very feminine black jacket.
Other kids in the slums listened to rap music, and bickered amongst themselves. God sighed,
"Purgatory sure is a crappy place. Why can't they listen to something good, like Zeppelin?"
"Oh, that reminds me, how's John Lennon doing?" Satan asked.
"Pretty good." God said, "OH LOOK! Sasuke just left the house... I think he's going to the Ichiruka."
They turned their attention back to the mirror, watching it like a TV.
"This'll be good," Satan said, laughing.
Sasuke neared the Ichiruka, calling Naruto's name. God pressed his hand to his mouth, in order to stop himself from laughing. Satan did the same. But it was to no avail, because as soon as they saw the expression on Sasuke's face (as he saw Neji eating with Naruto), they burst out in a happy laughter.
God and Satan were OOC, I'm sorry.