Devil horns and Angel wings
Disclaimer: Not mine
I'm suffering from lack of ideas, if any of you have any, please tell me. :)

The next day, Naruto noticed Sasuke was being strangely un-bastardly. It freaked him out. He even said "good morning". Naruto avoided Sasuke all day during training, and zipped home as soon as possible. Just incase Sasuke was trying something.

Konohamaru stopped him before he got home, though. Along with his dorky friends, Miogi and Udon. Sasuke watched from the limb of a near-by tree, not really paying attention to what they were doing or saying. He only knew he felt annoyed when suddenly Sakura was there too. They started arguing, and Sakura chased Konohamaru and Naruto. He cringed when Konohamaru crashed into some ugly guy wearing a hood and face paint. Sasuke strained to hear what they were saying. It sounded bad on Naruto's part, as well as Konohamaru, but until they were actually in danger, Sasuke'd just continue to sit there.

"Well I guess I'll have to kill the twerp," the ugly kid with face paint said, and his sister smirked. Sasuke disliked both of them instantly, mainly because they were ugly and because they seemed very vain.

"Kankurou," came a new voice. Sasuke glanced at the red-haired kid, and felt nostalgic. Something about him, in his aura or something along those lines, reminded him of home. "Put him down, we don't have time for this," he said. He kept pondering until he realized who this kid was.

"Shukaku," he whispered dramatically, and then made a cool entry by throwing a kunai at the kid who'd just been dubbed as Kankurou, and making him drop Konohamaru.

"Drop the kid, baka," he said, even though he already had. Naruto gaped, and Sasuke expected praise.

"You bastard, Sasuke! I could've beaten him!" Naruto yelled, and Sasuke sweat dropped.

"He's cute," Temari said randomly. Sasuke sighed, then turned to "shukaku"

"I am interested in you... who are you?" Sasuke asked.

"I am interested in you as well... my name is Gaara of the desert," Gaara said, before gathering his siblings and hauling them away.

"You couldn't let me win, could you, Sasuke?" Naruto cried. Sasuke flinched,

"I didn't want you to get hurt, dobe," Sasuke told him. Naruto scanned his face for any signs of lying, and when he found none, shrugged.

"I can take care of myself. None of those bastards would be able to beat me... why'd you want to know that kid's name, anyways, Sasuke?" he asked.

"..." Sasuke shook his head. "No reason," But in his head, he was pondering. He had been wondering where Shukaku had been, seeing as for the last thirteen or so years he hadn't been in hell. And now that he knew, he'd have to do something about it. Shukaku had been out of his home long enough. He stayed with Naruto while both Sakura and the kids, and the people from the village of the sand went their separate ways.

"Oi, Sasuke!" Naruto called, jerking Sasuke back to reality. He looked at his blond companion, and waited for him to talk about whatever useless thing he would be saying.

"Neji and I are going to a night-club! I figured it'd be a good opportunity for him to find a new guy. I told him that it was a date between us, though, and that we were going to a respectable diner. But I think he should just meet some one new... Wanna' come?" Naruto asked. Sasuke shook his head, he didn't want to seem out of character. Well, that, and he had partied quite enough just the previous night. But when Sasuke saw Naruto's pleading bright blue eyes, Sasuke had to give in.

"Fine, but I don't want any girls hitting on me; I get enough of that already. And going to a night club is just like... asking girls to be all over me." He shuddered, even though the idea didn't seem so bad. It would be just like home, and the ones here would be innocent and fun to taint.

"Yay... you know, maybe you and Neji should go out. You obviously don't like girls, and he doesn't either... I can just imagine it, it'd be so cute. Only in my imagination, Neji has cat ears, and you have a monkey type tail," Naruto said, his face brightening up with a new revelation.

Sasuke shuddered. Him and Neji? That uptight bastard!?

Neji has no reason to hate me, Sasuke thought, I at least have a reason to hate him. He calls me his eternal rival, but he's rivals with all demons. He just hates me because I was one the few demons who he tried to kill that could actually fight back fairly. That angelic bastard killed 23 percent of all the demons killed in the last holy war, and he convinced Itachi to betray me! He convinced my own brother and best friend to turn against me!

"I don't like girls because they distract me from my main goal in life, not because I'm gay," Sasuke muttered angrily, his thoughts still on Neji and Itachi. He missed his brother, but he also wanted to kill him so bad, for all the pain he'd caused by leaving.

"Oh, then does this distract you?" Naruto asked, doing the hand seals for the Sexy-no-Jutsu, and becoming a naked blonde woman. Sasuke blinked, and then smiled.

"It's less distracting than your obscenely bright orange out-fit, but in that form you look more fuckable," Sasuke said, thinking out loud. Naruto blushed, and quickly turned back into himself.

"I guess I won't do that ever again in front of you," Naruto said, still blushing. Sasuke smiled. It was a sadistic and seductive smile, yes, but it was still a smile. He brought his lips to Naruto's ear,

"I said more fuckable. And to be 'more' of something, you have to have that quality to begin with," he whispered. Naruto's eyes went all funny and disgusted.

"...err, let's just go pick up Neji, okay?" he asked, making himself distanced from Sasuke.

"Sounds... heavenly. Spending an evening with angelic prick and my oh-so-rapeable teammate," Sasuke muttered.

"Sasuke... what the hell is with you today? First you were being nice, then you were calling me rapeable and you actually agreed to do something social! Stop confusing me!" Naruto yelled out, his face scrunching up, "This Sasuke scares me even more than normal Sasuke!"

Sasuke sighed, and made up some crazy story, that was only half-way true, that he was hung-over and hung-over people act even stupider than drunk people.

Neji waited for Naruto to show up. He had spent another stressful day of Lee, Gai, and the newly annoying TenTen. He thought she would actually be standable, but she sensed his celestialness, and was so curious about it. He wanted her to shut up about getting to know each other. She was like a love sick puppy, trailing him, wanting him. Like Helena from A Midsummer's Night Dream, always trailing Demetrius. He supposed all girls must be like that, after seeing the way girls were attracted to both Sasuke and himself. It confused him.

He was glad that Hinata was not like that. And he hoped Hanabi wouldn't fall in love with some prick like himself and Sasuke. And he certainly hoped she'd find someone less annoying than Lee or a male version of TenTen.

He could smell Sasuke's evil aroma from so far away, that he knew instantly that Naruto and Sasuke were there. He had to admit though, that it didn't smell as bad as it normally did, and as he walked with the boys, he noticed that the strong feeling of wanting vomit that he always had around Sasuke was lower as well.

Satan was glad that Sasuke was getting nicer. He'd been such a prick ever since Itachi had betrayed hell. That was what, like, fifty billion years ago. Okay, so it was actually more like twenty, but the fact still stood that he had to spend twenty years with Sasuke's annoying cold-hearted-ness. He liked old Sasuke better. Old Sasuke was a slut, but at least he was fun to be around and he wasn't so power hungry. There were enough cold-hearted-power-hungry demons in hell already, and he liked Sasuke so much because he wasn't one of them. He was powerful, yes, but he wasn't power hungry.

Old Sasuke sounds hard to imagine, but he did exist.

"Hey there, Stan!" God called, quickly changing his appearance as he got to the gates of Purgatory.

"Yo there," he waved back, and they went into Purgatory.

"Were you waiting long? If so, I'm sorry. I was trying to break up a fight between Jesus and Buddha. It'll be okay, because soon Buddha will reincarnate, and Jesus will finally stop preaching religion to those who aren't Christian." God sighed.

"Anyways, how're our subjects?"

"Pretty good, the three of them are bonding... at another night-club,"

"I feel bad for Neji, I think he'll lose. Sasuke has been progressing more than he has," God sighed.

"True, true. But Neji'll catch up eventually,"

"Has he met... ehrm... what's his name? Er... has he met Gaara yet?" God asked.

"Yeah. If he tries to free Shukaku..." Satan replied, getting an annoyed look on his face, "He was stupid enough to take my fake assignment to earth. I did it to get rid of him..."

"What was the assignment?"

"To get all seven Dragon balls," Satan sighed, then shrugged, "It was the best I could come up with at the time. And don't hold that against me, because it worked,"

"Lucky you, I can't get rid of any of my subjects that way." God sighed, "Heaven is really getting crowded, I can hardly walk anywhere anymore. I'm just glad that some of them are reincarnating, other wise I'd never be able to get anything done!" he complained. Satan patted him on the back.

"That's why I quit that whole arch-angel business." Satan said knowingly.

"Anyways, let's see what they're doing," God said. Satan nodded. They looked into the mirror, ready to watch their subjects plus Naruto make fools of themselves in an all too cliché way at the night club.

I think this is my longest chapter yet... anyways, R&R. Any feed back or ideas, plus any constructive critism would be great. :) Again, my apologies for the OOCness of God and Satan.