Devil horns and Angel Wings
Disclaimer: I only own God and Satan. Well, that's not true either, but wouldn't it be totally awesome to own both God AND Satan...?
R&R w/ ideas or feedback please. And thank you "hey!" for telling me about my incorrectities.
Naruto ran happily along the roads of Konoha,
"Where're we going?" Neji asked, seeing as how he had no idea that there'd be a respectable café in this part of town. He shuddered, trying to make himself small as whores came closer to them.
"A gay night-club!" Naruto said, and laughed. "And you can't back out now, because you said you'd come with me!"
"I though you weren't gay," Neji reminded him. Naruto smiled mischievously,
"I'll be going there as a girl, and since it's a gay bar, that means all the girls will be fawning over me," he smiled, Sasuke couldn't help but feel as if Naruto was stealing his idea. Except that Sasuke went as a girl to avoid girls fawning over him. Kind of.
Neji sighed. "Trickery is a sin of the highest. Only the lowest people, who couldn't get a girl friend other wise, would pull a stunt like that, Naruto."
Sasuke chuckled. "Naru-chan has to become a girl for girls to fall in love with himmm," he teased, running his finger down Naruto's neck playfully. Neji glared at Sasuke,
"I already made that point, Uchiha," Neji muttered. "And besides, Naruto, you told me we were going to a respectable diner, not a gay strip club," he added angrily. Sasuke rolled his eyes,
"NIGHT club Neji, not strip club," Naruto told him angrily, Neji rolled his eyes, much like Sasuke had.
"Whatever, dabbling in such places will send us all to hell," he said assuredly. Sasuke winced, feeling lonely. He wanted to go home. Really badly. Damn that bastard for brining it up.
"Don't worry, Hyuuga, eventually we all will anyways," Sasuke said knowingly. Naruto looked up at the two of them confused. Neji glared at him,
"After I'm through, the world will be devoid of sin and the underworld will be cleansed, and you and your kind will all perish under the light of god!" Neji preached angrily. Sasuke scoffed in amusement, and Naruto was still confused, but he was starting to get irked at the two of them.
"You guys, I don't know why you two are so weird, but tonight, you have to enjoy each other!" Naruto told them, stepping between the two of them,
"Hmph," grunted Sasuke. Neji's eyes burned with hate, but he shrugged,
"Fine," he said arrogantly, his expression and tone of voice suggesting the exact opposite. Naruto glared at both of them,
"I want you guys to hug, that way I'll know,"
"No way," Sasuke exclaimed coldly, backing away in disgust. Neji faked a seizure with an exaggerated shudder.
"If you don't hug, then I'll have to take some drastic measures to get you guys to get along, I won't have your argument ruin my evening..."
The two warriors disguised as boys eyed each other, then Naruto.
"You didn't have to invite Sasuke, you know. That could've helped with the arguing problem," Neji suggested.
"Like I'd let you spend an evening alone with him, Hyuuga," Sasuke sneered uncharacteristically. Naruto sighed, and walked away, not caring if they followed or not. All he wanted to do was spend the night with two of his friends, and dance with pretty girls. Why did they have to hate each other so much?
Thanks guys, totally ruin my evening. He thought to himself, trudging slumpily along the crowded streets. He zipped through alley ways to get home sooner, and when he got there, went to bed after a hearty dinner of cup ramen. Yum yum!...ah, the wonders of sarcasm.
Sasuke pointed to Naruto for exaggeration, and swore under his breath when he saw that Naruto wasn't there.
"Baka, you made him leave!" they said simultaneously. Neji sighed,
"We both made him leave; we should've just listened to him,"
"That's sad, cause I kinda' wanted to see him screw up whilst getting girls..." Sasuke admitted. Neji nodded,
"But since someone, cough cough, can't get over something that happened in the past, he left," he added snobbily.
"We're getting a little off subject," Sasuke told him, glaring. Neji shrugged,
"Since Naruto left, I have no desire to stay here with you of all people, I'm going home."
He looked around, though unnecessarily due to his Hyuuga-ness, and then his face fell. He had no idea which direction to go in. He swore to himself for not paying attention, and then chose a random street to walk down. It didn't help that Sasuke was following him.
Neji, in all honesty, didn't know why he hated Sasuke. Besides the fact that he was a demon, Sasuke had done nothing wrong. He punished sinners, and even though he was evil by nature, there was nothing about him that Neji felt he absolutely had to hate. But Sasuke had obviously developed a strong hate for him, and now it was evenly divided.
He didn't understand why this wasn't a normal competition. Why didn't the Lord and Lucifer just make them battle it out? It'd take less time, and then they could finally know which one was better when it really mattered. Neji missed his wings, without them, his shoulders felt too light, and he needed the extra weight. He just felt so unbalanced. He looked up at the night sky, naming familiar constellations as he saw them. He reached his hand up, as if he could touch them. He used to be able to just reach up and touch them. His ran his fingers through his flawless hair, sighing.
How was he ever going to win over Sasuke? Sasuke had the advantage of being on the same team, that, and he was really good looking. Neji was sexy too, but there was that whole thing about Sasuke that made his uber desirable. And Neji hated the fact that he had to admit it.
He darted through the alley ways, filled with garbage and homeless people sipping beer and sake to push away their uselessness and over all loneliness. Neji felt bad about ignoring them, and he was sure Sasuke would taunt them with booze and convince them to give up their souls. Even though he was quite a bit further than Sasuke down the street, he could still hear Sasuke's voice taunting the homeless men.
"I can make you guys rich! Famous, powerful, handsome, desired. Much like myself. I can give you rivers of wine, and servants and gold. Jewels and women and possessions and wonders that no other man could even imagine!" Sasuke told them. Neji shuddered.
"You just have to give me something in return... do you think you could give that one thing up for the sake of happiness?" Sasuke's voice taunted even more. The hobo's nodded. Sasuke grinned, and pulled out a fan shaped mirror,
"Look into your happiness," he coaxed. "Only if you're willing will you be able to give me what I desire, and only if you give me that will I be able to give you your desires,"
((Insert bad CG graphics of the hobo's souls being sucked into the fan shaped mirror))
Neji's already big eyes widened even more so, as one by one the deceived fools sold their souls to Satan's adversary. There was still time, he noted to himself, and he ran back to where Sasuke was maliciously standing over them, his sharingan eyes spinning wildly as he gave them the illusion of what the wanted.
"STOP!" the angel commanded to his life time rival. "...you can't just do that, Uchiha. They shouldn't go to hell for having failed lives..." his words were sad, and his face looked weary,
"Uchiha, they didn't do this willingly, they did this through trickery. And I give you absolutely no creativity points. That was so the brothers Grimm," Neji sighed. "Leave the poor souls alone and take the souls of evil bastards who deserve it and are going to hell anyways."
"Hyuuga, that's not how it works. Evil people are harder to fool, and the people who have souls that are pure and untainted are also quite hard to fool, but when you have just an average person, that's how you get your feed."
Neji shook his head. "At least be more original," he said with a cold tone of voice, but his face was breaking into a overly suppressed smile. Sasuke glared at him,
"There's nothing wrong with acting Brothers Grimm, angel-face."
"Angel-face? That sounds like a bad pet name, not an insult." Neji criticized. The demon smiled evilly,
"This is getting too off topic, I'm evil, and I thrive off foolish people who want material stuff. Isn't it better to get rid of the greedy, old friend?"
"I agree to the off topic-ness of it, but you are wrong. Were you trying for Tolkein?"
Sasuke nodded. "Whatever, what's done is done, I can't just give them back their souls. But this whole illusionary thing is really useful when it comes to romantic stuff. Like winning over Naruto..." he said, and added a fake "cough cough" at the end.
"I don't think you should get Naruto, Uchiha. You would destroy his spirit and take away his loving soul. He'd be evil just like you, and the world doesn't need that,"
"At least he'd have FUN before he died, Angel face," Sasuke retorted. Neji laughed in a fake way.
"Oh yes. So much fun. Destroying the world and killing your brother, what a party,"
"What would he be doing with you? Going to church and learning how to accept Christ into his heart, pfft," Sasuke said back just as snobbishly.
Neji's face distorted itself into and angry glare before he turned on his heel and walked away.
Sasuke felt dirty. He had just acted like Sakura and Ino.
Itachi walked throughout the night, stopping at the mist village for his companion's sake. He preferred to walk by night, because then the sun would not burn his fragile skin, and besides, it seemed more cliché for a person of his race to do so. Itachi had been one of the more vampiric types of demons, feeding off flesh rather than souls. Although he did need the occasional soul, it was not a big part of his diet.
He had heard from a reliable source that Neji was on earth for a little bit. Okay, that reliable source was Neji himself calling Itachi on his cell phone from a pay phone in Konoha. But doesn't it just seem cooler to call it a "reliable source"? Ah, Cell phones are so useful. And let's not forget reliable. However, they often cause people to be horrible drivers, and that annoyed Itachi to the point of damning them to hell for sinning. He liked being able to do that with his newly found love of god, and the fat that he got ordained on the internet.
He would visit Neji before the chuunin exam, and then again a little bit afterwards. But he would have to tell Kisame some bullshit story about how they needed to go there to obtain the Kyuubi for their holy cult, the Akatsuki. Kisame didn't know it was a holy cult though, and neither did the other members. I'm pretty sure only Itachi knew that. Or he just made it up. Either way works.
Before he visited Konoha, Itachi figured that he should go to Purgatory for a few days to catch up with "old friends".
DUN DUN DUN!
TBC...