Devil horns and Angel wings
Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. Neither are Sasuke, Neji or any other characters that happen to be from Naruto that appear in this fan fic. However, I do own the plot, as well as my messed up versions of God and Satan, and an embarrassing outfit that will appear later.
Itachi remembered why he had been so keen to leave hell as soon as he stepped into the gates of Purgatory. The depression within the gates almost made him want to cry, even though it was uncharacteristic. And being out of character annoyed Itachi to no end, because then the author got bad reviews. And besides, he needed to be in character or else it wasted his time. You know, the off screen time that allows characters to perfect their glare's, sexy smirks... okay, I'm done now.
He looked at the palm of his hand, which had a map drawn on it directing him to the meeting place. Where he would be happily greeted by God... and probably not so happily greeted by his former master, Satan. But whatever was urgent enough to be called up, where they were both meeting together and not fighting, had to be a pretty big deal. Itachi adjusted his pony tail with the hand that didn't have the map on it, and continued to walk towards his destination.
After passing many shops, selling happy memories for twenty five cents, sad ones for fifteen and pot for a few dollars, he finally reached a tavern that had the same address as the place he was looking for. Because it had the same address, he assumed it –was- the place he was looking for. And he was right.
"Hello there, Ita-chan," called someone that had the appearance of someone his own age. His companion glared, and nodded curtly, acknowledging Itachi's presence cruelly.
"God, Satan," Itachi greeted, and shrugged off his cloak due to the heat of the almost empty tavern. "What did you call me here for?"
God giggled, as Satan turned to him and smiled evilly. "A little coup that I and my long-time rival and newly found partner have made up purely for our own entertainment," Satan said mischievously. Itachi raised his eyebrow.
"Curiosity killed the cat, but it didn't kill the weasel. Tell me about your little scheme,"
"How long have you been waiting to say that?" God asked.
"At least a couple years." Itachi said happily. Satan sighed and shook his head.
"Anyways, it involves a mortal boy, you're little brother, and your loverrr," Satan said mockingly. God chuckled,
"Leave him be, Lucifer, he can have a pedophiliac love interest for Neji if he wants to."
Itachi glared at his formal master, and his new one, then cleared his throat. "Anyways, what exactly is going on?"
"We sent Neji and Sasuke to earth to get that little kid, Naruto, to fall in love with either of them. So far we're betting Neji will make it, because all Sasuke is good for is having sex with girls who have sinned. But then there's the fact that Sasuke is so much yummier than Neji," Satan said, taking a sip from his beverage. God shook his head,
"Is not." God said in a childish voice.
Itachi paused for a second, "So, where do I fall into all of this?" he asked, afraid of what their answer might be. God and Satan looked at each other, then back to Itachi grinning.
Itachi gulped, and braced himself for what was about to be said.
Hinata felt that her sister was so distant, and that she seemed happy in a sad way. Like suddenly something had been taken off her shoulders, but what had been on her shoulders still affected her life. Hinata also felt something strange about Neji, like he just didn't belong. And she didn't want to sound superior just because of their family positions, but she was worried about him. He seemed distracted always, and like he didn't exist to her. She didn't like it.
So on a day, a Saturday morning to be exact, when both she and Neji had the day off, she decided to improvise her living situation.
"Ha-chan, Neji-niisan, what's say we do something today?" she offered silently, opening and closing the clasp on her coin purse nervously, and suggestively, in hopes that they'd agree. Hanabi looked up from a sketch of Neji that she had been drawing, and nodded sadly, trying to smile,
"Like what?" she asked. Hinata shrugged, and turned to Neji with hopeful eyes,
"We could ehrm, go... somewhere? Or, go shopping... or get Ice-cream. Or ramen..." she added the last part with a hopeful smile, and thought of Naruto. See, what most people don't know, is that she fell in love with him because they were both alone, both had no friends, and she didn't think anyone else would ever love him. But boy was she wrong. See, the good thing about Naruto, is he can be paired up with almost anyone. Except the third Hokage, fourth Hokage, and Lee. Perhaps Zabuza as well. But she didn't know that.
"No thank you, I'm sick of Ramen, and Ice cream gives bad skin. And that's something I take pride of not having,"
"What about shopping?" Hinata asked, hopefully. Hanabi stood up,
"Shopping sounds fine, as long as we get to dress Neji up," Hanabi laughed cruelly. Hinata gave an apologetic smile to Neji, but he could tell she wanted to as well. He sighed, and knew it was better not to argue. As long as they didn't dress him up like a cow boy, he'd be fine.
But boy was he wrong. Oh so wrong. There were much worse things two little girls who were going through puberty could think of. Much worse. Muahahaha?
Sasuke felt bad. The souls he had devoured were disgusting, and he had a feeling that he shouldn't have taken them. They had tasted delicious, if that makes any sense, but now that he had taken them, he had a bad aftertaste of remorse and guilt on his tongue, and he didn't like that taste one bit.
He didn't understand why Naruto wasn't in love with him yet, what was he doing wrong? He was losing, or at least tying, with that Angel-face. He sighed, forcing himself off his bed. He walked over to what would've been Itachi's room had they actually lived there, and stood out side the door, pondering whether or not to open it. He knew that Itachi actually had possessions inside that room, stuff he kept there because he was too lazy to carry it, but it was too important to him to sell it. Sasuke wondered what was beyond those doors. He touched the doorknob with one finger, feeling it all around, before touching it with his whole hand.
Yet, he couldn't seem to make himself open the door knob. He knew he'd regret it if he did. He couldn't stand to see so much Itachi at once, because he missed him so. But open the door he did. And regret it he did. He trembled as his hand reached out to touch a photograph of himself, and next to it was a separate photo of Neji. Sasuke glared at the picture, and turned away, looking at the numerous items on the shelf. Earmuffs, black nail polish. Red nail polish, a tube of black lipstick. A case of black contact lenses. Then there were items he recognized as demonic artifacts that had been missing from hell and the abyss. There was a computer, a cell phone charger, and a file folder filled with paper sitting on top of a desk. Next to the desk was the dresser, and above the dresser was a mirror. Sasuke touched his reflection in the mirror, and realized instantly what it was. And right now, it was active.
The glass surface slowly melted away, like a bad cg effect in a corny vampire movie, and the ghostlike face of Itachi appeared in the mirror, and slowly submerged, as if the mirror had been water instead of glass. He smiled at Sasuke, as his whole body came from within the mirror.
"Sasuke," he started. Sasuke looked up at his brother,
"It's been a long time, Itachi," he accused. Itachi rolled his eyes,
"What did we say about originality? Seriously Sasuke, what did we say about it?" Itachi demanded. Sasuke grumbled,
"That it's better not to say stupid things that are in every novel and TV show ever," he muttered. Itachi smiled,
"That's better. Now go away," he said, dismissing Sasuke with a wave of his very pretty manicured hand.
Sasuke growled at his older brother, and clenched his fists,
"No way! I'm either going to kill you, or send you away, I'm not leaving! You betrayed me!"
"I did not betray you, little brother, I betrayed that scum of a place you call home!" Itachi explained, in a calm but precise and accentuated voice.
"Go back to where you came from, Itachi! I do not want you here," Sasuke growled, glaring viciously and ignoring the ninja hand seals, and used the demonic magic that had been given to him because he was a demon and all, to conjure up a black orb.
"Sasuke, I just came from the mirror of a subway bathroom, because I messed up calculations by a few miles. I think I'd rather stay, I'm not leaving through this mirror, I'm leaving from the front door," Itachi said, holding Itachi back with one hand like one would do to their little brother while holding a cookie in the other hand.
"You are a wanted person, Itachi; you can't go out there," Sasuke said arrogantly, smirking. And if he could, he would put his arms over his chest.
Itachi, in turn, smirked. "Sasuke, not only have I also trained as a ninja and can change my appearance, but I'm an incubus. I can change my appearance with my birth given powers. Sorry, but I win this argument." He said, and started changing in front of Sasuke's eyes.
Soon, the face of a young girl looked back at Sasuke, a face that Sasuke knew vaguely.
"Hyuuga Hinata? Why her appearance?"
"Why not? With her body, she'd look great with a Chinese collared dress," Itachi muttered.
"You just want to get nearer to Neji," Sasuke muttered, trying to hide a hurt tone in his voice. Itachi smirked, and changed again. His appearance now looked like the random brunette girl Sasuke had made out with. He blinked, eyes wide.
"Y...you were h her?"
"No don't worry," he giggled, in a girly squeal. "I'm above incest now Sasuke. I've grown up."
Sasuke watched as his brother left the house, and held his hand over his hollow chest, wondering if this was what it felt to have heartache. He breathed deeply, as if his heart was in pain, but really, he just had to stop the tears from falling from his eyes. He finally got to see his brother, but all it was, was fighting, and then Itachi leaving yet again to find his Neji.
TBC, can't wait to dress Neji up. Cackles evilly. Review, please, cause they're inspiring.