Devil Horns and Angel Wings
Disclaimer: Not mine, the picture of Neji will be up soon, though.

Sakura approached the two of them with an angry scowl on her face,

"Sasuke... is that why you don't date girls? Because you're in love with... with...with with with Naruto?" Sakura gasped, "It all makes sense now!"

"Sakura-chan, I was just hugging Sasuke, he was feeling a little sad,"

"Then I should be the one to comfort him!" she whined.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan, I was just trying to help him," Naruto said sadly.

"Well he doesn't need your help,"

"Oh." Naruto said. Sasuke glared at Sakura. She was ruining his chances to beat Neji.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry that I hugged you," Naruto said sarcastically. Sasuke smiled briefly,

"It's quite all right, I enjoyed it," Sasuke said. Sakura gaped at him, and Naruto looked up at her with a triumphant smile.

"Seeeee Sakura –chan, I'm a good hugger! I can make problems go away. Do you have any problems that I can hug away?"

"Not currently," she replied.

Itachi looked at his angel from far away. He had two little girls with him, one of which was holding his hand and the other riding on his shoulders. Itachi smiled inwardly and debated with himself whether or not to go say hello. After a quick debate he decided not too. He smiled sadly before leaving to go complete his god/Satan given task.

After many ¼'s of miles, Itachi found himself at the home of Hatake Kakashi. He knocked secretively, and when he didn't get an answer, he let himself in by teleportation (aka the whole through the mirror thing again).

After noticing the Kakashi wasn't home, which would explain why he didn't answer the door, Itachi sat himself down on the couch and looked around for something to do. No TV, no magazines. Ooh a book... let's see what this is... Itachi picked up a book with a bright orange cover, and began to read.

"Th...t-this is porn!" he said excitedly, well as excitedly as Itachi can be, and began to read. Of course, it sounded more excited due to his girlish appearance and voice and body.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was without his porn. He had left it at home and found his only entertainment in actually paying attention to his students carry on a three way battle that was quite funny.

Sasuke would not attack Naruto, Naruto would not attack Sakura, and Sakura would not attack Sasuke. Oh screw it, Sasuke realized after a few minutes, he would use the chance of Naruto being cliché-ly hurt to take advantage of him. But since we all know Naruto could kick Sasuke's ass, that isn't going to happen.

Kakashi noted this, and couldn't help but inquire to why the weird triangle thingy. Of course, he didn't really care, so quickly dismissed it.

Sasuke decided to cheat. He gave up on doing his ninja moves, and created a fan shaped dick of energy in his hand and threw it at Sakura. She screamed, of course, and got knocked out by the impact of the spell.

"Sasuke-teme!" Naruto yelled, "I don't know what you just did, but it won't work on me!"

Sasuke smiled sadistically, getting a little too focused on his power surge, and created another fan shaped disk of black energy. He aimed it for Naruto's stomach.

"Oh shit..." Naruto muttered to himself as the F.S.D.O.B.E. came flying at him too fast for him to dodge. He winced and closed his eyes tight, expecting the worst. After about a minute, he opened his eyes and looked to Sasuke, whose eyes were wide and staring at Naruto.

"What?" Naruto asked, and then followed Sasuke's eyes to his own stomach. A claw had stretched out of the swirley thing, and has caught the fan.

"Kyuubi..." Sasuke muttered. Naruto started screaming in a high pitched girlish way,

"Get it out! Get it out! Oh my god oh my god, what's happening!?" he started bawling. "GET IT OUT!!!!!!!!!"

Kakashi came over, suddenly caring again, and examined the claw.

"Naruto, this thing isn't trying to hurt you, it's trying to protect you," Kakashi told him. Naruto looked down at the paw, which had absorbed the whole fan, and poked it.

"...Teehee, it's fuzzy," he said, and started petting it. His stomach started rumbling, sounding like a chuckle.

"...I must be getting hungry. Someone should treat me to ramen, since I just had a traumatic experience," Naruto said, looking from Kakashi to Sasuke.

"I have to get home, I'm having company over." Kakashi said, and then waved good bye.

"Sasuke?"

"What?"

"Since you tried to kill me, I think it's your moral obligation to get me ramen,"

"Traumatic? Moral Obligation? Experience? Since when do you use big words?"

"Word of the Day Toilet Paper,"

"....That's so ungodly disgusting," Sasuke said, and started walking. Naruto followed him. Sakura stayed limp on the ground, since no one really cared enough to bring her home.

Neji looked down at himself and had to smile. Even though only he would notice that he was smiling, since that's how small of a smile it was. But it was still a smile, and he had to admit, that he looked quite sexy. In his own opinion. Then again, he's a guy, and an arrogant one at that so... who knows.

But I think he'd look sexy.

He looked up at Hanabi, and then over to Hinata. With people like this, so innocent (even though they did dress him up like a whore) and care free, and pretty, perhaps his next year and a half on earth wouldn't be so bad. Except that it probably would be knowing me.

"Oh my god," Hinata said suddenly, and hid behind Neji shyly. "I-is he waving at m-me?" Neji looked around to see Naruto.

"I don't think so..."

"Neji! Hinata-chan.... And whoever you are,"

"Naruto, Sasuke," Neji nodded in recognition.

"Hinata, Hanabi...Neji," Sasuke said.

"Hey, isn't weird how we just say names and not 'yo wazzup gee slice home boy/girl/little girl riding on Neji's shoulders," Naruto said.

"It's Hanabi," Neji said.

"And we don't say that because we're not idiots." Sasuke muttered.

"Oh my god, guess what happened to me today?" He didn't wait for their answers, "A living being lives in the interior of my abdomen, and it took hold of a fan and it saved my existence!" Naruto said.

"What's up with the good vocabulary?" Neji whispered to Sasuke.

"Word of the day toilet paper,"

"Ew..."

"Yeah."

Kakashi entered his home, and threw his things on the couch before going to the bathroom to take a shower.

"Ow!" a girlish voice said.

"..Sakura?"

"No, it's me," she said, and stood up.

"...Who are you?" Kakashi asked. She sighed.

"It's me, Itachi. I'm in disguise because like, everyone is after me for killing those people."

"Uhuh, well I'm gonna' take a shower. By the way, that's too much dye for one person's head. It's unrealistic."

Itachi grabbed a clump of his hair and looked at the faded dye.

"It's not my body, I just searched Sasuke's memory for some random person and she's the one I found. You have to admit, with her skin tone, the Akatsuki cloak looks great,"

"You need a life." Kakashi muttered, and shut the door of the bathroom. "I'll be out soon. Eat something please, you're anorexic."

Itachi chuckled, and changed his appearance back to his own. With Kakashi in the shower, Neji, Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata, and Hanabi all together, and God and Satan still watching, who knows what will happen? I do, but you guys will have to wait until next time to find out!

TBC... Oh, if you like this fic, you might like my other one, 'Failed'. Just a thought. If you feel like it, go read it.