CHAPTER TWO –Old Flames Never Die
"I can't move on, I can't take it. She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now," I sung under my breath to the All-American Rejects song that was blaring on my stereo. I propped my leg up on the swivel chair in front of my computer and proceeded to tie my hair up in a messy bun.
"Trash... trash... trash," I mumbled, clicking the junk that was forever showing up in my Hotmail account.
Then I saw it. Under an e-mail asking if I wanted a Viagra sample (gross!), there was an e-mail from someone who I hadn't heard from in a while: Jeff Schafer. Things between me and Jeff were -- well, let's just say... complicated, to say the least. Explanation? Well, we've dated. Just for a while though, about a year ago. It wasn't anything too serious, a simple fact which I kind of easily figured out after he told me he was moving back to California after living here in Stoneybrook for a couple of years. He said he still really liked me and everything, but that he missed everything that was there on West Coast. We never "officially" broke up. I guess we just kind of lost contact after a couple of months, both of us involved in our own separate lives. 'Separate' being the key word there. So, understandably, I was kind of surprised to get this e-mail from him.
Click.
YO! SHOUTOUT TO MAH HOMIE FROM DA EAST!
HAHAH! WOULDN'T THAT BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY TALKED LIKE THAT THEIR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE?
SO HEY CHAR, WHAT'S UP? I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN A WHILE... I KINDA MISS HAVING ONE OF THE FEW CONNECTIONS I STILL HAVE WITH CONNECTICUT. GET IT? CONNECT-TION... CONNECT-TICUT?? HARDY HAR HAR. GEEZ, I BET YOU REALLY MISS MY AWESOME SENSE OF CRAPPY HUMOUR, HUH? ;)
BUT SERIOUSLY. I HOPE THINGS ARE GOIN GOOD FOR YOU. I KNOW WE KINDA LEFT THINGS UP IN THE AIR AFTER I LEFT STONEYBROOK LAST YEAR -- BUT I'M REALLY THANKFUL YOU UNDERSTOOD THE SITUATION I WAS IN AND THAT YOU WERE WILLING TO LET ME GO WITHOUT ANY GRUDGES.
I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT YOU LATELY, ACTUALLY. I GUESS THAT'S WHY I E- MAILED.
I'M HEADING BACK EAST FOR SOME OF THE SUMMER TO SEE MY MOM -- MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER AND FIGURE OUT WHERE WE STAND WITH EACH OTHER. I REALLY DID MEAN WHAT I SAID WHEN I TOLD YOU I MISSED YOU.
I HOPE I GET TO TALK TO YOU SOON. SEE YA.
THE J-MAN.
Thank God for the invention of the cable modem. As soon as I finished reading Jeff's e-mail, I reached for my cordless phone and dialed Becca's number, knowing she was home. Aloud, I re-read the e-mail for her. Silence filled the other end of the line.
"Hello? Still there?? Please say something... anything," I pleaded. "Right now isn't a really good time to pull the whole deaf-mute bit."
"Well... do you still have feelings for him?" she asked slowly.
"No!.... Well, maybe?.... I don't know! I'm so confused," I whined. "Why does he have to go and stir up old feelings in the first place? Dammit. He's the one who left. He's the one who chose to leave me."
"Char, I thought you were okay with everything that happened? Why didn't you talk to me about this before?" Becca asked. I could tell she was genuinely worried. I heaved a sigh, trying to find the right words.
"Being okay with it now doesn't mean it didn't really hurt me in the first place," I replied quietly. I swallowed a lump that was forming in my throat. My eyes were stinging and I knew the tears would come in any second.
Stupid e-mail. Stupid Jeff. I was supposed to be over him.
"I can't move on, I can't take it. She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now," I sung under my breath to the All-American Rejects song that was blaring on my stereo. I propped my leg up on the swivel chair in front of my computer and proceeded to tie my hair up in a messy bun.
"Trash... trash... trash," I mumbled, clicking the junk that was forever showing up in my Hotmail account.
Then I saw it. Under an e-mail asking if I wanted a Viagra sample (gross!), there was an e-mail from someone who I hadn't heard from in a while: Jeff Schafer. Things between me and Jeff were -- well, let's just say... complicated, to say the least. Explanation? Well, we've dated. Just for a while though, about a year ago. It wasn't anything too serious, a simple fact which I kind of easily figured out after he told me he was moving back to California after living here in Stoneybrook for a couple of years. He said he still really liked me and everything, but that he missed everything that was there on West Coast. We never "officially" broke up. I guess we just kind of lost contact after a couple of months, both of us involved in our own separate lives. 'Separate' being the key word there. So, understandably, I was kind of surprised to get this e-mail from him.
Click.
YO! SHOUTOUT TO MAH HOMIE FROM DA EAST!
HAHAH! WOULDN'T THAT BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY TALKED LIKE THAT THEIR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE?
SO HEY CHAR, WHAT'S UP? I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN A WHILE... I KINDA MISS HAVING ONE OF THE FEW CONNECTIONS I STILL HAVE WITH CONNECTICUT. GET IT? CONNECT-TION... CONNECT-TICUT?? HARDY HAR HAR. GEEZ, I BET YOU REALLY MISS MY AWESOME SENSE OF CRAPPY HUMOUR, HUH? ;)
BUT SERIOUSLY. I HOPE THINGS ARE GOIN GOOD FOR YOU. I KNOW WE KINDA LEFT THINGS UP IN THE AIR AFTER I LEFT STONEYBROOK LAST YEAR -- BUT I'M REALLY THANKFUL YOU UNDERSTOOD THE SITUATION I WAS IN AND THAT YOU WERE WILLING TO LET ME GO WITHOUT ANY GRUDGES.
I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT YOU LATELY, ACTUALLY. I GUESS THAT'S WHY I E- MAILED.
I'M HEADING BACK EAST FOR SOME OF THE SUMMER TO SEE MY MOM -- MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER AND FIGURE OUT WHERE WE STAND WITH EACH OTHER. I REALLY DID MEAN WHAT I SAID WHEN I TOLD YOU I MISSED YOU.
I HOPE I GET TO TALK TO YOU SOON. SEE YA.
THE J-MAN.
Thank God for the invention of the cable modem. As soon as I finished reading Jeff's e-mail, I reached for my cordless phone and dialed Becca's number, knowing she was home. Aloud, I re-read the e-mail for her. Silence filled the other end of the line.
"Hello? Still there?? Please say something... anything," I pleaded. "Right now isn't a really good time to pull the whole deaf-mute bit."
"Well... do you still have feelings for him?" she asked slowly.
"No!.... Well, maybe?.... I don't know! I'm so confused," I whined. "Why does he have to go and stir up old feelings in the first place? Dammit. He's the one who left. He's the one who chose to leave me."
"Char, I thought you were okay with everything that happened? Why didn't you talk to me about this before?" Becca asked. I could tell she was genuinely worried. I heaved a sigh, trying to find the right words.
"Being okay with it now doesn't mean it didn't really hurt me in the first place," I replied quietly. I swallowed a lump that was forming in my throat. My eyes were stinging and I knew the tears would come in any second.
Stupid e-mail. Stupid Jeff. I was supposed to be over him.