A/N: Mix with a mug of hot chocolate and enjoy!
Chapter 3: Day Two
Maggie
I woke up in Ben's arms. I stirred awake, scared. I couldn't remember anything that had happened last night. Finally, though, it all started to come back to me. Then, though I had forced myself not to yesterday, I allowed myself to think of Kyle.
I thought of his deep, brown eyes and how I could drown in them. I thought of that day in the school when he and I held hands. I loved him so much, but as I thought that, I remembered whose arms I was in. Ben. I wished I could switch those arms.
I looked at the clock. It was early, only 6:00. Ben's chest was sinking and rising evenly and deeply with sleep. I moved his arms and slid out of the bed carefully. Then, I ventured out of the room for the first time in nearly 36 hours. As I stepped into the hallway, I looked about nervously. The entire house seemed white and modern. Ben had given me that kind of vibe from the beginning, but I wondered if he lived with his parents.
For the first time realized that Sam was gone. That was when my cell phone rang. Her voice was excited and loud on the other line.
"Maggie! I'm about to meet Tony!"
I breathed deeply and took everything in. It wasn't like me to be the mature, motherly one. I was usually the one breaking down into tears. But suddenly, I felt mature. I felt like someone who was a mediator. I felt like someone smart and intelligent.
"Samantha? Where are you?"
"Maggie! Oh, I'm in Maryland! I just went into a coffee shop in the airport. It's kind of a internet cafe. Anyway, I went on Yahoo's people search and found him! I'm going to go see him, Maggie!"
"Sammy, you'd better know what you're doing!" I was scared, quite frankly. No one knew where she was but me, obviously.
"Listen, I got this far, didn't I? Bye!"
The reality of what she said finally hit me. She had obviously taken a plane to Maryland. This was too much. I closed my phone and my eyes and walked into the kitchen. Then, I sat at the table and gazed out of the window at the misty, wet morning. I felt so sad, yet I didn't cry. I knew Kyle would be proud.
I sighed and slapped a fist into my palm. Back here, again. Thinking of Kyle. Why did he always find his way into my mind. I forced myself to think of Ben. I wanted to be fair to him. I had told him that I loved him. But now, suddenly, I wasn't so sure. Then, he walked out of the bedroom. His hair was rustled and hung sexily over his eyes. His shirt was off, revealing his smooth, muscular chest, and his jeans were baggy as he walked in drowsily wearing his white socks. He grinned at me, sleepily, and spoke softly.
"Morning, baby." As he spoke to me, emotion clear in his voice, I realized that I was sure. I was sure that I loved him. I shook Kyle from my mind.
I smiled back and kissed him as he leaned down. I pressed my hands against his chest and shivered, then pulled away. Nothing was more dangerous than a sexy, shirtless, bed rustled teenage guy kissing you. I couldn't stand it.
"Sam's gone," I said. I immediately regretted it. He grinned. He was tired, shirtless, and sexy, and he was turning me on. The worst part was, he knew it.
"Really?" he asked, but it was more like a statement. "In that case..." then he took my two small hands in his and led me back to the bedroom. I fell willingly onto the bed, unable to fight to temptation willing inside of me. His hands were all over my body, but I was in a daze. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't push him away. Before I knew it, his hands were sliding under my shirt. He was kissing me so passionately, and my hands were seemingly glued to his bare chest. I couldn't move. Then I slid my hands up and ruffled up his hair even more. I knew it turned most guys on to have their hair played with, and that's what I did. I felt something hard against my leg, and stopped. I didn't want this to go too far.
But then, as his hands slipped my shirt over my head, leaving me only in my bra which he hastily attempted to undo, I opened my eyes in fear and caught sight of the two empty can's of beer on the bedside table. That was what finally shocked me into action. I removed my hands from his chest, then plunged my fist into his gut. He pulled away, coughing, near vomiting, but I didn't care. I kicked him in the side and jumped onto his back, rolling him over. Then, I laid five punches into his jaw. I didn't stop until I saw his red blood on my knuckles. Then, I rolled off of him and cried. I lay on my back, shirtless, my hands covering my face, and cried and cried and cried. Then, before I knew it, I was standing. I threw on my shirt, backwards, but I didn't care. Then I was screaming at him.
"You shit head! You lied to me! You said you loved me, and I believed you! And I..." I choked on my tears and lowered my voice to nearly a whisper. "I... loved you, too!"
He stared at me, wide eyed. He finally seemed to realize what he had just done.
"You fuck," I said, spitting on him. I was disgusted. "You know what? I even thought that I didn't need Kyle. But now I know. I thought Kyle didn't love me. But now I know I was wrong. He's always loved me, because he's respected me! Which is more than I can say for you! Even if his love for me isn't exactly what I want it to be, he still loves me as a best friend. And if this is what the other love is..." I motioned to Ben, "then I don't want it."
Ben was gaping at me. He tried to say something, but I cut him off.
"I never want to hear your voice again, Ben! I...!" I couldn't bring myself to say that I hated him, even though he had just done to me what my father had done so many times when I was a little girl. The alcohol, and then the sexual abuse. They came hand in hand, and it was a nightmare for a six-year-old girl and it was still a nightmare for a sixteen-year-old girl. "You just wanted to get me to put out! Well I'll have you know something... If you thought I was some slutty skank, you sure as hell got some other shit coming! Good-bye!"
Then, I turned on my heel and stormed out of the house, Kyle's name running over and over in my head.
But just as I set foot onto the concrete sidewalk, I collapsed in a heap. The last thing I saw before losing consciousness was shirtless Ben running to my side. This time, though, I couldn't get up and run.
Sam
When I saw him, my breath caught in my throat. My heart was beating so fast that I couldn't breathe correctly, and instead my breaths came out loud and jagged. He grinned, showing the same signs as me at first, but then he recovered and strode over to me.
"Sam..." he said my name like he was sighing. When he said it, I heard the love and longing willing inside of him. Then, he leaned down, held my shoulders in his hands, and kissed me lightly on the lips. I kept my eyes closed long after he pulled away, savoring the taste of the kiss. It was my first kiss, and it was wonderful.
"Tony..." I said. I couldn't think of any other words. It seemed like his name was the only aspect of my vocabulary. So, I said it again. "Tony."
He kept grinning at me, then kissed me again, then he led me into his house, holding my hand.
He didn't know how I got here, and he hadn't been expecting me, but I could tell that didn't matter right now. He was just happy to see me. Yet I knew that I had to explain things.
"Hey, Tony?"
"Yeah?" he asked. He looked puzzled, as if suddenly becoming aware of all the things he didn't know.
"Could we talk, you know, alone before going to see your parents. I want to explain things to you so that we'll both know what to say when we see them."
He nodded, then whisked me up the stairs and into his room. He sat on his bed, laying back and leaning against the pillow. I curled up next to him. I had never touched him before, yet I was already so comfortable with him. This was real love. He kissed the top of my head.
"What are you doing here, huh?"
"I ran away. I had to see you."
He looked surprised but ecstatic at the same time.
"I withdrew all of my life savings and bought a plane ticket to come see you. Don't worry, everything's fine." I couldn't bring myself to tell him about the fact that I was dying, slowly but surely, because I knew it would ruin our final days together. And since these were also our first days together, I didn't feel the need to tell him.
He grinned.
"You love me that much, huh?"
"Yeah, Tony. I do," I replied, watching a happy smile light up his face. Then, he leaned over me and reached towards the bedside table. There was a small, velvet box. He handed it to me.
"This is for you. I got it almost a month ago. When I saw it, I thought of you because it was so beautiful and you are, too. I love you, Sam. More than diamonds."
Then, at that moment, I opened the velvet box to reveal a beautiful white-gold diamond ring. The diamond was small, but it was beautiful all the same. Tears of joy slid down my face as I slid my arms around Tony. He kissed me again, and this time it was no small peck. I lay on top of him and pressed my lips to his, drawing in the taste of his lips, mouth, and tongue. I never wanted to pull away.
Maggie
When I finally opened my eyes, I was surrounded by white. At first, I thought I was dead, but as my dreary eyes slowly fell into focus, I realized that I was in a hospital room. My eyes swept over the white gown that I wore, the white curtain around me, the white wall, the white bed sheets, the white bedside table. The only thing with color in the entire room was a teenager, laying half-asleep in the chair beside my bed.
I nearly cried at the sight of Kyle beside me. I never thought I wake up to see him by my side, but I was wrong. I slid carefully out of the bed and tip-toed over to him. Then, I looked down at myself. The robe was so unflattering, I couldn't stand to wake him up to find me like this. I looked over to the other chair, and there were my clothes, washed and folded neatly. I pulled on my black pants, then struggled to put on my shirt while still wearing the gown. Finally, I was completely clothed in my previous outfit.
Then, I knelt down beside the chair that Kyle was in. I had never seen him asleep before. He was so peaceful, that I couldn't wake him right away. I watched him, his chest slowly rising and falling evenly. And then there was his hand. I slid my hand over his and closed my eyes. I held the hand that I never thought I'd ever hold again, and tears of peace and joy slid down my face. Then, I opened my eyes and pressed my fingers lightly against his smooth, warm cheek, trailing them down to his lips. His lips. I stopped and pulled away quickly. What was wrong with me? But before I could stop myself, I was leaning towards him, slowly. Then, just as my lips were about to touch his cheek, I sucked in a deep breath and turned away from him. I hastily wiped away my tears, then softly shook his shoulder. He woke up, rubbed his eyes, and smiled.
"Hey, there," I said to him. I put my hands on my hips and looked down at him. He tried to stand up, but was still dizzy with sleep. He fell forward into my arms. I grunted.
"Woah," I said. Then, I led him back to the chair and helped him sit down.
When he spoke, his voice was hoarse with sleep.
"M-MJ?" My heart sang as I heard his voice for the first time in so long, and he called me by the name that only he called me. He hadn't been calling me that, and hearing the endearment come from his lips, I smiled through the tears now pouring down my face. But the slight smile still faded away quickly.
"Y-yeah?" I asked. My voice was shaking, and so was his.
"What's happened?" My stomach churned and I realized that it had been a while since I'd eaten. Still, I drew my eyes away from the white hospital floor and held Kyle's gaze.
"I'm dying, Kyle. I'm going to die in seven days."
He turned away. Tears began falling down his cheeks. I let out a sob at the sight of his anguish. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't worth his tears. I wanted to tell him that it would be better without me in his life. I wanted to tell him that he'd have no one to love him so obsessively and rely so much on him. He would be free. But I didn't say anything. Kyle sat beside me on the hospital bed after a while, and only the sounds of our crying filled the room.
"No," he said finally. His voice was so forceful, I was taken aback.
"Yes, I am, Kyle. I am." It broke my heart to tell him these things, but I had to admit it to him and myself.
"Why? How?" He seemed frantic.
"The flames... they caused a chemical imbalance in my body. Some type of acid that they used to make the artificial fire. Kyle... I already feel so weak." I stopped short. I couldn't go on. I swallowed loudly, then surrendered to the tears, choking and sobbing, covering my mouth to muffle my sounds.
"No... No! Is there a cure?" He seemed to refuse to believe that I was dying.
"I don't know," I managed through my tears. "They, whoever they are, are looking for a cure."
We continued crying. I don't know how long we sat side my side, but eventually I took his hand in mine. He crying to hard to tense at my touch. I felt guilty that I was holding his hand, probably against his will... Then, he turned to me and hugged me. He held me tightly in his warm embrace and I, too, wrapped my arms around him. Our heart beat against one another's chests, and I let myself be calmed by his arms around me. Soon, our tears became silent, streaming quietly down our already drenched faces. An image of that day, long ago, when Kyle and I had hugged willingly for the first time, clinging to each other, flashed through my mind. I knew he was thinking of that day, too, the day he and I had first exchanged the words, "I love you."
"I love you, Kyle," I said, quietly. I didn't expect the words that came softly form his mouth next.
"I love you, too, MJ."
And we just held each other until the tears finally dried up, and I fell asleep in his arms.
When I woke up, I didn't expect Kyle to still be there, but when my eyes finally opened, there he was, lying in the chair beside my bed.
Sam
Tony's mom seemed so laid back, I almost fainted with surprise. I was so used to my tense, strict, unreasonable mother that when Tony strode lazily into the living room, introduced me to his mother, and asked if I could stay with them for a while without breaking a sweat, I had to do a double take. And when she looked at him, puzzled, and asked what he was talking about, I was ready for her to immediately throw me out of the house.
"Sam- Samantha, she came down here all the way from New York to see me. We met when her family came down here last summer on vacation," he looked at me, grinning slightly. He lied so smoothly, hardly hesitating with the lie we had agreed on in his bedroom. "Can she stay with us for a while, until she needs to go back to New York when school starts?"
"Where would she stay, hm? I hope you're not expecting me to let her sleep in your room?"
"No! She wouldn't mind sleeping on the couch and changing in the bathroom."
"Samantha, how do you feel about this?"
"I really wouldn't mind at all. As long as I'm with Tony."
"Okay," she said, thinking. "Does your mom know about this?" I nodded, lying as well. "Sure, she can stay with us. She seems like a perfectly sweet and civilized young lady. Is she house-trained?" she joked. I laughed and Tony rolled his eyes.
"Very funny, mom."
"Ah, I didn't expect you to laugh. You never do, Tony," she smiled at Tony. Then she turned to me. "You're sure your mother know about these circumstances?"
"It's taken care of," I answered. Then, me and Tony ran back up to his room.
The door closed abruptly behind us and we fell onto the bed.
"It's taken care of?" Tony asked, suspicious.
"I have a plan, Tony. I'll call her, don't worry." I gazed into his eyes, convincingly.
Tony reached over a grabbed the cordless phone on the table next to his bed.
"Then do it," he said. I took the phone hesitantly and dialed slowly. My mother picked up on the third ring.
"Hey, Mom," I began.
Maggie
"Kyle! You're still here." My voice didn't sound surprised. It sounded like all the love I had for him was pouring out to him in those four words. He had stayed with me!
"Of course I am! I wouldn't ever leave you, MJ! You know that!" When he said it, his voice had that sincerity it had in it the night at Faith's party, when he kept telling me not to cry. The tone of his voice had only made me cry harder. He just didn't get it. He never had. He never would. I almost exploded in that moment. All the words came bubbling up before I could swallow them. All the words I had ever wanted to say to him were forcing their way up my throat and into my mouth.
"Kyle, I have to talk to you." I didn't wait for him to answer. "I know I always loose my nerve with you. I know I always choke back the things that I really have to say, but I'm going to say them now, Kyle, because this may be the last time I ever get to talk to you.
"I love you so much it feels like the world is caving in on me. It feels like I can't breathe, and I feel like I'm being pulled under. I'm going under, Kyle. And you're the one dragging me. I'm... drowning in you.
"Sometimes, Kyle, I feel like I want to kill myself. I want you to know all the fucking pain you've caused me." My pained suddenly turned to anger in the instant. "You don't care Kyle, but in this moment, neither do I." I started crying. This was it. "I don't care anymore! I'm so tired of watching myself to make sure I make you happy with me! I'm so tired of caring more about you than myself! I love you, Kyle, but you don't give a shit! You'll curse me out, or push me away, or talk bad about me. You'll ignore me, you'll bribe me, you'll use me. I'm sick of it! I'm so fucking sick of your shit, Kyle! You think that I lay too much on you, well do you think its fucking heaven being in love with you? You don't care about my feelings! The only time you ever might have was that night at Faith's party. You held me when I was crying, Kyle. You were there for me. You "loved me" in that instant. That day. But you led me on. The next day, you suddenly don't love me. You messed with me, Kyle. You wound me. You played with me. You were testing me, and I didn't measure up. Well fuck that. Fuck that! If I'm not good enough for you to love, fine. If you believe that, good for you. But that's shit. I'm more than good enough for you. I love you, Kyle, so sincerely, but you don't care. You don't care that I'm sensitive. You don't understand. And you never will.
"So you know what Kyle. This is... the end. This is the end. Cuz I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore. I'm not going to let you screw me up. When you "loved" me, I had never been happier in my life. I wanted to scream and sing and dance and jump for joy! I wanted to hold you and never let go. And that day that you held my hand in school... that was the single most perfect moment in my life. And it always will be. You don't know what you do to my heart, Kyle, but even if you and I never see each other again, it won't stop. This love... it won't stop. It just won't stop." I'm sobbing now, I can't control anything. My body, my words, my tears. Kyle's staring at me. I see the hurt in his eyes, but for once I don't care. I want to see him hurting. I want to hurt him. I want to hurt him for hurting me so many times.
Then, suddenly, I didn't. Suddenly I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him and be with him forever. But I knew I couldn't. That dream... my dream would never be. Maybe one day I would become a large animal veterinary surgeon and live on a farms with eight horses, three dogs, and husband, and two kids. But that husband would never be Kyle. And I was tired and dreaming.
Then, I realized that I had been saying all of that aloud. Kyle was crying now. I wanted to kill myself right then and there. I couldn't believe what I was doing to him. I couldn't believe what I was saying. Then, I walked up to him. I threw him arm around him, taking his hand in mine. And then, I kissed him. I pressed my lips to his and my body fit so perfectly into his. It was like we were two puzzle pieces. We fit so perfectly together. And he was kissing me back. But then, I pulled away.
"I will always love you, Kyle. But I can't let you break my heart anymore. I can't let you kill me."
My tears were drying up. I felt strong. I felt free. But I wanted to take everything I said back. Still, I knew I couldn't.
"Good-Bye, Kyle."
I opened the door and he walked out. Then he turned around. It was a repeat of the day I broke my leg. Just as they closed the ambulance doors, he had mouthed the words, "I love you." Now, as I closed the door, he mouthed those sweet words again. Only this time, It wasn't my leg that was broken. It was my heart. And this time, I was the one closing the door. But then, I suddenly couldn't. I was so weak... I fell to the floor in a crumpled heap, and Kyle flew in. His arms were around me, but he was fading in and out of focus in my eyes. Just before I lost consciousness, I heard his words, soft but sure.
"I love you."
And with the last ounce of my energy, I mouthed the words, "I love you, too."
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! I BEG OF YOU! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! Gets down on hands and knees and begs, then starts throwing gold coins to all the readers