A/N: before starting this as my very first fanfic, i honestly thought i wouldn't even get 10 comments in total in my review box... but each time i update, the feedback is just growing and growing. you guys have absolutely no idea how much it really means to me and leaving comments just to let me know that you're reading is what pushes me to keep on writing. i know i've said this over and over, but thank YOU soo much.

Bewilderment: i so know what you mean about jeff being "hotter." in my head, he's this sunbleached, tanned california beach hottie. yummm. hehe. but to you, i offer a completely different picture of byron, how i've pictured him all along. a link to the cast of the characters in my head is posted at the bottom. the invitation is out to everyone to view it.. tell me what you think!! but in any case, you'll just have to keep reading!! then you can scream/yell/kick all you want if you're not happy! am i leading you on too much to the ending? don't count your chickens 'til the eggs have hatched! thanks for your comments, they're always such a riot to read! :)

stargirlie: COLLEGE?? phew.. i was starting to feel like a dweeb that here i was, at nineteen years of age and in college, writing a fanfic for the BSB. heh. what can i say? i think the books are timeless and i think i'll always find time to pick up an old copy and start reading just for the heck of it. beats my psych textbook, that's for sure! lol! anyway, thanks for making me feel less dweeb-like and letting me know that i'm not the only one out there... thank you for all the comments you've left me!! :)

The Cast

URL www. angelfire . com / retro2 / 00pimpleface00 / index.html

...totally different that what you had in mind? i rushed to find the pics that best represented what i had in this warped little head of mine. google and my scanner became my bestfriend for a few days – so if you don't agree, then.... you.. you suck! hah! kidding!! it's all in your imagination. i tried my best... i guess i'll leave up to you..

... don't worry! this update isn't just a long, drawn-out author's note! hah. my apologizes! let's get this show on the road...

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE - Daisies

1:07

The red digits from my alarm clock glowed in the dark. For the thousandth time that night, I uncomfortably shifted my position on my bed. I groaned and forcibly shut my eyes, covering my ears, foolishly hoping that this would silence the shouting voices reverberating in my head and let me sleep.

This whole night? You brought condoms and was planning to have sex with me tonight.
Why do you have to be this difficult? Why couldn't you just give in?
I feel cheated and we're so not dropping this subject.
I know you wanted it as bad as I did...
That was all bullshit to see how far I would go with you.
If that's want you want to believe, then there's nothing I can do.
Man, Jeff was right. You're just a big tease.
... Man, Jeff was right. You're just a big tease.
... Man, Jeff was right. You're just a big tease.

My eyes flew open.

What? Jeff ?

What did he have to do with any of this? In my anger last night, I overlooked it. Now I was completely flustered and could think of no rational explanation why Jeff was suddenly part of our fight.

I tossed and turned the rest of the night, restless and unable to get those nine words out of my head.

--

The loud noise from my blow dryer drowned out the Lifehouse CD playing in my stereo. Needless to say, I barely heard the loud knock on my door, but I turned around just in time to see my mom enter my room. She gave me a surprised look.

"Hey Mom," I greeted, shutting the blow dryer off.

"Um. Good morning, sweetie. I-I thought you'd still be in bed..." she said, trailing off.

"And what? Be depressed the rest of my life?" I scoffed, turning to face the mirror as I brushed my hair. I saw her give me a concerned look through the reflection.

"So.. that's it?" she asked softly.

"What? What's 'it'?" I asked angrily. "Do you really expect me to come crying to you every time a boy breaks my heart?" I wanted to take it back as soon as I saw the hurt look on her face. I sighed and turned to face her. "Mom. I'll be okay." She gave me a sceptical look. "Really. I just need to get my mind off everything that happened. I really hate feeling the way I felt all day yesterday."

"I understand, honey. But you need to get it out. You can't just keep everything bottled up inside."

"I-I'm not," I said stubbornly, turning back around. "I can deal with this by myself." I shut my eyes, hoping she'd just leave. I heard her sigh.

"Are you sure about that, Charlotte?"

"Very," I replied shortly. After a few seconds of silence, she walked up behind me and kissed the top of my head, saying,

"Have a good day then, honey." I nodded and waited as she shut the door behind her. I looked up at my reflection in the mirror.

Lying to my mom had never been that easy. I wasn't okay. I didn't want to deal with everything by myself.

...I just didn't need their pity. I didn't want them to look at me with their sad eyes and say "I'm sorry."

At that thought, I started to get teary again, but I quickly brushed the feeling away. I took a deep breath and plastered a big fake smile on my face. I had a baby-sitting job to get to and I knew I had to keep my business and personal life separate. I desperately needed this distraction.

--

"Hmm..." Jacqueline mumbled thoughtfully. "Is it a balloon?"

"Nope!" I replied, grinning. After a few moments of consideration, she suddenly gasped, pointing excitedly at my sand sculpture.

"I know! I know! It's my favoritest fruit! It's a pear!" I laughed.

"Yup! You got it!" She giggled at her accomplishment.

"Okay! Okay! Now it's my turn. But you have to go away. It's a secret and you can't see 'til I'm done!"

"Alrighty then," I obliged, getting up and brushing the sand off my denim capris.

I stepped out of the sand box, barefooted and walked to a nearby bench, sitting down and crossing my legs under me. I smiled at Jacqueline's cute furrowed eyebrows as she concentrated deeply on her temporary work of art.

This was what I needed. I'd known deep inside that being there at that moment, baby-sitting and being with a kid like Jacqueline would made me smile again. I let out a contented sigh, glad that the awesome sunny weather was back again. It definitely helped to lift my mood.

"Hey." I turned around at the sound of the voice and saw Jeff walking towards me. He bent down for a second to pick something up and I pursed my lips, a single nod returning the greeting.

Without a word, he sat down next to me on the bench and watched Jacqueline playing in the sandbox. After a few moments passed, he stretched his arm sideways and offered what he was holding in his hand. It was a small daisy that he's picked from the underbrush. I couldn't help but smile and took it from him, twirling the stem with my fingertips.

Smiling, he gently took it from my grasp and leaned forward, placing it behind my ear. He looked into my eyes with the kind of warmth I missed seeing from him.

"I just dropped by your place," he said, keeping my gaze in his.

"To offer your condolences?" I joked, scoffing.

"In way.. maybe." I didn't answer and pryed my eyes away from his, keeping an eye out for Jacqueline. "Your Mom told me you were baby-sitting. I was driving back to my place and saw you here, so I decided to say hi."

"How very gracious of you," I replied flatly. My good mood was dampening. I knew that the topic looming above our heads was one that I particularly didn't want to talk about.

"So, I heard what happened between you and By-- "

"Jeff," I said, stopping him mid-sentence. "Let's just drop it okay?" He looked at me for a second and nodded. "I just need.... time. To get back to normal."

"How does a day and a half sound?" he asked. I raised an eyebrow and looked at him strangely. He chuckled. "Remember that promise I made to your mom that I'd come over for dinner before I went back to California?" I nodded. "Well, she invited me over tomorrow night. Do you think you'll be 'normal' by then?" He smiled as I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I guess as normal as can be expected," I replied, shrugging. He gave me a reassuring smile.

"Char! I'm finiiiished!!" Jacqueline cried from the sandbox.

"Coming, Jacq!" I called out. I stood up from the bench and turned back to Jeff.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" I asked.

"Yeah." He started to get up, so I quickly said good-bye and jogged back to the sandbox.

"Hey Char!" I stopped in my tracks and turned back around.

"I think you'll be okay," Jeff said simply.

At those words, I gave him a genuine smile and mouthing the words "Thank you," I waved good-bye.