I ran from the cave, like Snow White running from horrible nightmares of dark, wrenching fingers, tearing at my face, hands and heart; Trying to get to me through their strange voices and unearthly melodies. I ran so hard I felt I would burst till finally I fell, somewhere in the woods. I didn't know where I was and I didn't care.
I hadn't cried over mother since that day, and now the tears came so hard, built up over so long, I thought I would drown in the salt of it. Chilling my soul and turning me to cold dust. Some memories are poison to the mind and they eat away like acid at you till you are bitter and angry. I hadn't opened up this thought since I was very young; it was like Pandora's Box. Evil and seductive and I took it like a pomegranate from Hades, hanging before me on a silver branch.
"Rachael!" Came a voice.
"Rachael!"
It was louder and closer.
My hand grasped the tree that supported my back with its hoary, rough trunk. I watched a tall shadow move through the trees, shades of grey.
"I'm here," I called out in my shaky voice, it slipped through the branches of the trees like a winter breeze, terrified and cold.
The figure moved, it had a flashlight with it, "Rachael?" It came closer and I realized it was Neil as he shined the light on my face, my eyes red and hair a mess.
"Oh Rachael," He said approaching me, but not sure what to do with me.
I was like a stray dog that you want to take into your arms and love, but are too wary for fear of being bitten.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, but the shaking in my voice soon gave way to more tears that came silently.
"I'm sorry, Rachael," He said.
Betrayal isn't anything that can be mended with an apology. Especially when its one of the ones who you idolize who has done the betraying. Like your big brother who used to make sure that things turned out alright, and that you didn't have ice cream on your shirt.
I didn't notice that he had dropped the flashlight and advanced closer to me, till finally he took my shaking, broken body in his arms and held me while I wept. I pressed my hands and face into his chest, and drew comfort from his bones and flesh till finally for a moment I felt we were breathing and beating as one, lungs, heart, breath, all in unison. Drawn to the rhythm inevitable, we had felt this for one another the first we met. Something together and whole, pure.
I drew back from him and looked up into his face. Our chests were heaving and our cheeks were damp and pale with cold.
He dug his fingers into my hair and looked me in the eyes.
"What happened?" His voice drifted, warm breath over my skin, "Something happened that you're not telling me about."
I stuttered, "How do you know?"
"What happened?"
My knuckles had turned white, clutching his coat so tight, like I was afraid he would fly away from me, "Today," I started, "Eight years ago, my mother died, and I found her," I stopped as the tears began to drip down my face, not bitter and angry this time. No, this time it was like honey, sweet, comforting. The tears dripped like honey from my tired eyes, "I found her," I repeated.
Neil's lips trailed across my face, warming my soul and causing me to tremble. They found their way to my neck and I began to feel weaker than before.
Then we kissed.
It was something so simple. Standing in the shadowy woods. His right hand buried in my hair, his left at my torso. My own hands buried in his coat and shirt. Regret was on his tongue, together with joy and a hidden desire to speak with the words of a thousand different people.
We separated.
And I stopped crying.